Chapter 37 Ready Or Not

-uck.

What is life?

Who knows; but if I had to give an answer, I'd say… life is a divine comedy. At least my life. Because there is clearly someone up there laughing at me. It's the only way I can make sense of the mess that is my life.

Damn you being H!

…the H is for Hitogami.

I think I remember once saying life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.

So does that make this my fault? Was I too spontaneous?

…can't I just blame god instead.

…

Damn conscious of mine… I am not completely ignorant of my actions, and am aware that I brought this on myself. If only a little, but just a little. I was a little too spontaneous, and my karma caught up with me.

Karma sure is a bitch.

Can't complain though. All things considered, my day could have been several times worse. There were no tears or acts of physical violence, so I should consider myself the winner.

The sex talk walk was still awkward though.

Perfect textbook case of being between heaven and hell.

We will send you an angel from the heavens, and she will teach you the ways of women… all the while attacking your pride as a man.

Yeah… it was… a thing.

If you were to tell me that I would start my day by being accompanied by two beauties, only to be felt on by a frisky redhead, only to then be interrupted by a beautiful blonde who goes and kidnaps you, throws you on her bed, and teaches you the in's and outs of a woman's body; I'd say…

Sign me the f, up!

I'd also call you a liar, and that Riaju you just made up should explode, but that's neither here nor there.

"Mmmn… that's nice… oooh, a little to the left. That's gooood," Zenith moaned a little under my touch, as I continued to massage her shoulders from behind.

But reality is stranger than fiction.

So I ask again; what is life?

Several things happened from that talk to here.

Currently I am treating Zenith to one of my best massages. Sitting upon the bed she is my VIP, and after a long day a good massage is what everyone needs. Trust me, it's good on the nerves, and relieves tension, especially if you're a pregnant mother filled with worries about her baby, her baby, and… her 'baby.' Needless to say I'm trying my best to get her mind off her worries, as well as mine, and consequently… move on from where we were.

Zenith was, is… something else.

As enticing as it may have sounded to have a blonde beauty teach you the in's and outs about a woman's body. The reality is much different. She was very professional about the whole thing. The perfect example of prim and proper, glasses and all. It was a… learning experience.

By that I mean I learned I don't want to experience that ever again.

I now know why parent's dread giving the sex talk to their children. It is awkward. If anything Zenith is the outlier, by being able to talk so calmly about the male and female body. Perfectly civil, but…

…that kind of just made it worse.

I had to suffer through her speech awkwardness and all.

Here I am, a virgin. Twice at that. And I have to get a speech about the birds and the bees.

Ugggh… it hurts. Hits me right in the pride. To be a special kind of loser that should be anatomically impossible. Perhaps I should be proud of myself? Here I am breaking the laws of physics!

Ha ha ha… ugh… I'll go die now.

Maybe I'll become an OP Isekai protagonist in my third life with the ability to summon meteors, or return from death.

…you know what. On second thought, never mind. My life… death… could be worse.

Anyways, as to how we got from sexual education to massages. It, the sex ed lesson, was an experience I wanted to end as soon as possible, so finding any verbal footing in our little verbal war, I did my best to steer the conversation away from there and to something more calming. Like manners, and behavior.

Zenith I love you, but… can you be a little less you sometimes. Huh, wait a minute? Is this how people feel about me?

…

IN ANY CASE-

It all started off as you would expect. Boys have a penis, women have a vagina. Do not touch this area. This area is sensitive. How babies are born, yada yada yada, when a daddy and a mommy love each other very much… and everything in between.

I was not ready for her.

The most painful part of all this is that I had to play the part of an innocent child. The reality is that I'm older than I appear, at least at heart, so all the things she was telling me were things I already knew, but had no right to know.

In essence I was forced to shut up and sit up, and play the part of an innocent angel.

Have you met me? Innocent what?

She was just being a mom, well… teacher in today's case, but with me knowing everything just gave everything a whole sense of awkwardness that I would give anything to get away from. It was peachy. When she said she was going to tell me everything. She meant e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

For example; corpus cavernosum… Do I actually need to know these terms? Also periods…

Why?!

She even brought in fruit to use as visual aids.

…I won't be eating peaches anytime soon.

That was just the first hour…

I struggled to put it into words how awkward it was, but… she was attacking my sense of self, my pride… my manhood, with every word she said. I needed a break. After the hour passed and I noticed she wasn't losing speed, enough was enough, and I decided a change in topic was in order.

Well one step at a time.

You think I want to talk about the birds and the bees all day? Nah-ah.

I don't know why, but somehow she got it into her head that rather than etiquette I should be learning the in's and out's of a woman's body first and foremost before anything else. That's all good, and all, but isn't that putting the cart before the horse?

What good is knowing the name of all the parts of a cart, if you can't ride?

Honestly, considering the situation, gentleman-like behavior should have been the first thing we talked about, not the last. I have no idea why she decided that the physical aspect was the first thing we should talk about, but If I could predict her properly we wouldn't be here in the first place.

So after that hour we started talking about etiquette, and how to treat a woman properly. Nothing too strange. Just look at strangers in the eyes when you first meet her, and try not to ogle her. Feel free to introduce yourself on first meetings, don't forget to say please and thank you; a little gratitude goes a long way. Don't go sneaking into women's beds without their permission. Avoid speaking crudely in the presence of a lady, and to top it off, never forget to apologize if you think you are in the wrong.

Honestly, it was a lot of stuff that I would label under common sense, but there was a strange look in her eye every time she told me this.

I've fought monsters before, and they made me less nervous than her at that moment.

…hmm, even I feel that was a bad joke.

Let's add that to the manners list; word out jokes on your head before sending them out, less you get killed by the girl you're trying to make smile.

Luckily we didn't have to dive into such topics for long. After we addressed the topics we moved on and started talking about kissing, and its intricacies. We talked about the significance of them and how there's differences between kissing family, friends, or lovers. How one should know their standing with the other person going for an intimate kiss. As well as some nice trivia like kissing on the cheek is a nice custom, but can be seen as inappropriate if you kissed someone hello who you aren't particularly familiar with.

In essence; more common sense stuff, but still useful information.

Apparently, a french still exists in this world, but it's only called a lover's kiss here, and despite it being known about… it's considered much more intimate here. It's a borderline proposal.

Following that logic I'm apparently already married.

Just kidding.

Yes… obviously I haven't told her about my first kiss, or second… or third. Maybe in the future. The far far future. For now, no thanks. I choose life.

Also I'm not sure If I should take her word on kissing at face value. I feel like her experiences might be skewered a bit from her noble upbringing. It does feel rather Millis-like. I am still thankful for the kissing lesson though.

Hello, my name is Rudeus Greyrat. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Smooch.

A fun future might be in store for me.

Well, it's not like I'm actually planning on kissing every girl I see.

Maybe in another life, but I couldn't see myself doing something like that now. Or rather… After everything I've experienced in these late years, I don't think I can go back to superficial relationships. Whoever I kissed next… is someone that's really close to my heart.

…

Life sure is funny…

Anyways, after discussing a lot of topics that I would file under common sense, we finally made our way to massages.

Please don't execute me before I plead my case, your honor! I have an explanation!

Besides distracting her from our little talk sixty minutes ago, I did have one other ulterior motive for breaching such a topic. I wanted to downplay the situation as well as setting up for the future. It isn't a technique I want to give up, even for her, and I can't have her thinking I'm 'forcing myself on Lilia.'

Her words not mine.

Which isn't too far from the truth, but there's a lot of context missing. A Lot of things I can't say, but a few things I can, but honestly, do I look like the type that pushes women down?

Don't answer that.

Anyways, after finally saving my reputation.

Which only took me an hour.

We talked about the intricacies of massages. How they are a sign of intimacy, and how, much like a kiss, there are differences between massages. That intimacy is different based on your relationship, and how you should hope that you know where you stand with someone before you proceed to push their barriers.

Honestly, she's surprisingly astute about these things.

With her marrying Paul and everything I kind of expected… well… less.

I'm not calling her dense or anything like that! That would be rude to her. Zenith is the best!

But still… I thought she would be lacking a little in the intimacy department.

Honestly, how did Paul get with you?

On second thought… I don't want to know.

"Rudy… what are you thinking?" She turns her head to the side looking me in the eye. Lost in thought I failed to notice her looking at me so intently.

Something stupid, don't worry about it.

Her sixth sense is sharp.

"N-nothing. Just wondering if the massages I'm giving are any good."

"Hmmm… is that so…" she looks at me dubiously, her eyes half closed.

Leave me alone woman! Can't a man have some privacy in the sanctitude of his own head. Your instincts are scary! Does having a baby increase your thought process? Are you thinking for two?

"Jeez…" I muttered. "You're bad for my heart, you know that right?"

"Well… I was always called a heartbreaker~"

"..."

You liar!! Whose heart did you break? Paul?

That said… nice pun. I approve. As well as the heartbreaking part.

The fact that I got her joking again is proof that my efforts weren't in vain.

Now back on to the topic of massages. Besides trying to downplay what she just saw moments ago, I'm also trying to prepare for the future. Massages have a very special feeling for me, and it would be a shame if I were forced to stop using them, or rather they're more than just a form of foreplay, even if that is my favorite part, they're also a way of healing.

It's hard to tell, because Lilia isn't as active being pregnant, but my healing has done wonders on her leg.

I want to see her at her best in a couple months.

From her point of view, it isn't like that. In fact, by this world's standards, I'm the weird one. Apparently massages are much more intimate in this world, than in my last one, with members of the opposite sex not giving massages to one another, unless they're already in a relationship. The concept of healing massages doesn't exist. Especially when healing magic already exists. With the exceptions of maids, and servants, but… a master that does those kinds of things is apparently a deviant in the making.

Apparently. And I'm too young to be acting so bold.

From her point of view that is.

"Ahn… Rudy… your hands are magic. I should punish you more often."

Although… I'm not getting any complaints from her.

She's a little shameless. She only follows the rules as convenient as it is for her. She said family is also an exception, but I have doubts about that.

Still, better where I was, and I'll never complain about laying my hands on a blonde beauty, so I'll gladly play along.

Oh woe is I~

Luckily we were able to reach a form of agreement on the massage issue. I can massage anyone in this household, but I have to have her permission, and tell her first hand, as well as avoiding… 'no touching zones.'

Her words.

She still finds a way to fit in an etiquette lesson, while I'm working on distractions.

On that note…

"Is the massage I'm giving you not proof enough that massages can be therapeutic and not just romantic?" I questioned her

"Are you saying you don't love me?"

"...that's fighting dirty."

"I'm not the one trying my hand at underhanded tactics."

"It's not underhanded, and… you're aware of what I'm doing?"

"Of course! You're mama knows all."

"Of course you do."

That is the type of exchange I had with her for a while now.

Have I or have I not been massaging your shoulders for the past month? Are they not good on your shoulders? Aren't you sleeping better? Don't you think Lilia would like these two? Are the massages I give you romantic? Aaaand… if they're not romantic… then can't I give them to anyone?

How selfish of you! Are you trying to withhold the treasure that is me from everyone? You tyrant!

"Mmmmhu!" she puffs her cheeks at me. "I feel like you're mocking me."

"...are you half Migurd?"

"So you were."

"If it helps… I make fun of myself as much as I make fun of you inside my head."

"Hmm… that actually does help a little."

"Hah…" I sigh, "you're something else you know that right."

"Know everything sweetie.~"

"Of course."

I feel like everythings is an overwhelming success. Massages are now a thing now, and I'm out of the danger zone.

Banzai!

I got reincarnated in another world, and so took over it with my S rank massage skills.

Hmm… not a bad isekai name if I do say so myself. I'm starting to think all isekai names are just puns, and I should know; I know bad puns.

Screw the Rasengan. Massage skills really are my bread and butter.

Your honor, please let me finish my testimony!

"Well… almost everything. There is something I'm curious about Rudy, and answer truthfully, but how did you learn about massages in the first place?" Zenith asks out of the blue.

"..."

That is the million dollar question, now isn't it.

Well… damn. You're the type that goes straight for the jugular aren't you?

Temporary, stunned at her question I struggle to respond.

"Your eyes are a beautiful blue, you know that."

"Of course I know that too. Now back to my question."

So you won't let me have a pass huh?

Now how do I answer that?

That my ex thought it would be good on my muscles. That I learned it in another world. That I thought it was a nice technique to learn to work my way from second base to third. All path's lead to doom.

Should I just say my massages are otherworldly? That I was blessed by the heavens, youtube, to guide people into heaven.

It is true, you know. I'll have you know I have the highest of reviews from all that's experienced it.

Yup, no, no one's buying that. Sounds like I'm praising myself more than anything else.

Damn, what should I-oh? Oh! Oooooh! I got an idea.

A devilish one.

I know I shouldn't. This is playing with fire, but… I want to. I definitely should resist, but…

I… Must. Troll her!

Hey, it's only fair. She toyed with me for an hour, I should get to toy with her, if only for ten minutes.

It's the law of equivalent exchange!

Ah… it's not like I want to tease you or anything… baka~

"Oh? I learned it from Roxy," I told her.

"Learned it from Roxy? Why would she do such a thing?"

"Because I asked her to?" I tilted my head to my side playing the innocent part.

Hey this is what you wanted. You thought you were dealing with a child, well let me be childish.

Just look at this innocent seven year old face. Would this face lie to you? It wouldn't! We just talked that lying is bad, but… just a little is fine, right?

Ah… nostalgia…

It's been a while, but playing the innocent part comes in real handy for pranks. The only problem is that everyone knows me too well by now, and knows there's not an innocent bone in my body. I can't play the innocent card as well as I used to. That, and I just don't want to. Playing the innocent part tends to people not taking me seriously, and people talking down on me. Like telling me what a penis and a vagina is, and where babies come from.

Ok… I might have some frustrations, but only a little. And so…

I need to pull a prank on her. I'll stop before I embarrass her too much though.

Probably.

And now, come and look at me. Is this not the face of innocence?

Honestly… I hope you'd say no. Being treated like a little boy is infuriating. It's been a forever and a half since I've had to be so docile, and… yeah… I need to prank her just a little. Else my sanity would wither.

Just a little.

Petty?

Yup.

Care? Nahh!

Alright, time to bring out the big guns.

Innocence is scary. Let me show you what that means.

"Yeah, one day when mama and daddy were being loud, I woke up and found Roxy in the hallway looking into your bedroom, when I asked her what the two of you were doing so late at night, and why mama was screaming so loudly, Roxy said that you were having a massage session, but Paul wasn't very good at it. So you kept screaming."

"...huh?" she says.

Ooh, I can feel her shoulders tensing. How fun~

Turnabout is fair play. This is what you get. Now you know how I and Lilia felt during those days. The least you could do was close the door. Honestly…

Then again… there's always the possibility that Roxy opened the door herself.

…I can't deny it.

Possible slander aside, I'll stick to teasing Zenith. Let's not Ruin sensei's reputation over hypotheticals.

"Massage… at night? Um, Rudy… what kind of massage was… um, your daddy gave me?"

The baby making kind!

"Don't know, Roxy sensei, wouldn't show me. She just said that it's a very special massage that should only be done between a husband and wife. That I'm not allowed to see it since I don't have a wife yet."

Ooh her shoulders are stiff as a board. Oh and is that a blush on her face.

How… ka-wa-ii~

"Pfft-"

Must… hold… in… laughter…

Pinch.

Ah… pain is a good distraction. I needed that.

I'm thankful that I'm massaging her from behind. In the past nights I've given her massages when she's laying on her side as she finds those the most comfortable, but doing it from this angle is best when I'm trying to hide something. Like my smiling face.

She can't see me struggling to hold it in.

What do you know? Massages really are a good way to relieve stress.

Now then, let's deliver the finishing blow.

"Ahem," I cough into my fist. "Riiight~ I asked sensei what exactly a massage is, and she taught me the basics. After that I just kind of figured things out on my own. Aren't massages great," I lean close to her ear, and whisper the final dagger, "ma~ ma~"

"Ah… hai… right… Rudy is a fast learner… right…" she mutters looking off to the corner. A slight tremble on her shoulders.

I can't see her face, but I can hear her embarrassment.

Welcome to my world!

But honestly, I have quite a bit of frustration from right now, and back then. I held onto them for quite a long time, but all this… babying is really reminding me of my dark past; the baby years.

Those years were… complicated.

Do you have any idea how frustrating those days were?

Imagine dying and reincarnating in another world, but you're struggling to come to terms with your reality of your situations, as well as the exhaustion, both physical and mental, and then there are two people a few doors down going at it like there's no tomorrow interrupting your beauty sleep. Hell, that was when they bothered going to another room.

During my baby years, we slept in the same room.

…unbearably frustrating…

It's one of the reasons I was adamant about making a nursery.

Raijus explode!

Fucking normies, and their healthy sex-life rubbing it in my twice a virgin face.

Die!

Wait, one of them is Zenith…

Paul explode…

Hmm, that's better. In fact… that's a lot better. So better, I'll say it twice.

Paul explode! Paul die!

"Ah… catharsis…" I muttered.

"Rudy?" She looks over her shoulder.

"Nothing. Just thinking out loud."

I needed that. That might have been more fulfilling than pranking Zenith.

Note to self; make a portrait of Paul, and put it on a punching bag.

Well, now that I got that out of my system, let's give her a break, and just massage her. A little teasing is fine, alot is just infuriating, and no one wants that. Besides, once things cool off, I'll probably feel a little guilty over this little prank, when she's just being a mom. I'll make it up to her later.

Bouquet of flowers, or breakfast in bed?

After my little prank things finally calmed down between us, and we simply lay on bed, our bodies pushing against ourselves, in comfortable silence. I wonder if this a sign of how comfortable she is around me as only a few seconds ago she was a nervous mess, and an hour before that she was a distraught mess. Now, we can just lay her comfortably, and sleep all this away.

Finally some catharsis.

"Hm~" she grabs my arm, and drags it from her shoulder to her belly before pressing her back further into me, and letting herself droop backwards, using me as a pillow. "Hah… catharsis. That's a funny word. Cat-har-sis. Cath-ars-is. Hmm~" she leans back, landing on top of me, and pushing us down her arms locked with mine.

I've never said this before, but her mental fortitude is quite amazing honestly. From cheaters, to… well… me, she sure adapts quickly. Even that mental attack I gave her, barely gave her a pause.

She's using me as a body pillow.

Am I that comfortable?

"Hey Rudy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think the first person named Cath was an arse?"

"...maybe. There was at the very least one very unlucky person named Cath out there."

It's not even night time, and we're already like this. Well it has been a long day. Looking out the window, I can see the sky is orange. We still have several hours before bedtime.

"What a day," she muses. Mirroring my own thought process.

"Isn't that my line?"

She looks me in the eye.

"...I'll shut up."

"You're fine. I'm not angry with you anymore. After talking, and experiencing your… pursuits first hand, I have a different perspective on things. Things aren't as bad as I first thought. You were just being you. That said," she wiggles her body, rotating it so she lays there facing me, laying her side on top of me, "I won't forgive you if your massages extend to women outside the house."

Who am I Paul?

"Outside this house?" I ask.

"Outside of this house. I trust you won't be skirt chasing for another few years, but I'm just making it an official rule of this house to be sure. If you break it. You'll be punished."

"So no Sylphy?"

D-don't look at me like that. I have legitimate reasons! I don't want to be executed for past grievances.

Your honor, it was a medical examination!

"Sylphy? Oh, that's right! There was that one time, wasn't there. You haven't been giving her any more massages have you?"

"Um… only a little here and there. I've given her three massages in total. Don't worry about it."

"Hmmm…"

"I-it's not like that. I haven't reached anywhere I shouldn't. I just give her to them from time to time when she pushes herself hard."

"Well… you've earned the benefit of the doubt. Just keep things modest, or else you won't have to worry about me, but Laws."

"Got it."

Trust me I know. Huh? Wait a minute… Did she just give me the green light?

I have mixed feelings about that.

She continues looking into my eyes, her hands playing with my hair.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

I thought you gave me the benefit of the doubt.

They say eyes are windows to the soul, but I don't think you'll find anything you know. I'm heartless!

Hah… if only. Just kidding.

My heart is actually made of glass. Stare too hard and it might shatter.

And those eyes of yours are powerful weapons, you know? Can you not point them in my direction? My heart might break! It's murder!

Wait a minute, those eyes… they're filled with… mirth.

"I feel like you're thinking something very rude about me mama."

"Maybe… doesn't mean it's not true."

"Well… whatever it is. Stop it. My self esteem is thinner than grass. I'll have you know I'm a professional. So, no mama, I did not touch any of her 'special zones,' if that's what you're saying.

"I didn't say anything."

"But you thought it."

"Nooo… I didn't think about any special zones."

"Really?"

"I thought about breasts."

"Pfttt-"

God dammit woman. I'm trying to keep things pg. Work with me!

"That's what I meant!"

"I know, I just felt like teasing you." She rubs her head against my chest affectionately. "You were thinking something very rude about me weren't you?" She whispers.

"..."

Looking down on my chest I meet her eyes, neither of us giving any ground, before a smirk starts spreading across her face, and we both know she has won.

"I hate you," I concede; looking away.

"I know you mean love~" she snuggles her head comfortably against my chest once more. Letting me feel first hand, up close, all the love she feels for me.

Feels heavy.

But… nice…

Honestly.

"Love huh…"

Per usual I can't win against her. It can't be helped. Here I am playing four dimensional chess, and she's playing checkers.

When two people are playing two different games, who wins?

Well, the one that doesn't give in.

I usually do though. I hate to admit it… I will never say it outloud, but… she kind of has me wrapped around her finger.

She is the head of the household for a reason.

Paul? Paul who?

I turn my face towards her, and give her a quick peck on the nose.

"He he, why the nose?" she asks me quizzically.

"Don't know. Just felt like it."

Does everything I do need to have a purpose? Sometimes I just react, and you make things all the more easier by being so adorable.

Snuggling comfortably against me, she scoots in closer, and drapes her arms over me, snuggling tightly. It's not even nighttime.

I look at this adorable creature before me.

Am I really so lucky?

In any case, I can't help, but enjoy this feeling. "Let's go to bed," I whisper.

Love is such a heavy thing.

With complicated feelings I can't help, but hug her tightly.

"You…" I whisper, "Please go easy on me next time."

One doesn't need love to live, but you could really call such a state of being living? Love binds us, and divides us. One loves one's family, their friends, their lover, yet it's all different. It's such a simple feeling. Yet so complicated to put into words.

"You are important to me," I whispered.

"...you're important to me too," she whispers back.

"Mom…"

"But, enough of that. If you want me to take it easy on you, she turns her back to me, parting her hair, and exposing her nape, before looking over her shoulder, a twinkle in her eye. "Soothe me. Oh, great massage expert~"

She sure does things at her own pace doesn't she.

"You're doubting me?"

"Maybe~ what are you going to do about it?"

"So demanding… Well, not that I dislike it."

"What's there to dislike? Have you met me?"

Well… isn't that the million dollar question.

Better yet…

Have you met me?

"Anyways, now get on with it." She purses her bottom lips as she glances at me, "didn't I just teach you. It's rude to keep a lady waiting, or do you want to go back to talking about sex and courting etiquette?"

Sex ed, or massage. Hmm, decisions decisions.

"Well, what are we waiting for! Hurry up and bring your shoulders over here. Stress is bad for you! Stop hurting yourself!"

Yeah, it was no decision at all.

"Ha Ha... well, we wouldn't want that now would we?" She says.

No we wouldn't.

Finally I can put an end to this long day.

///

"Hah… hah… this is… the best."

"Why thank you. You're the best as well."

"You're too cheeky for your own good," she tells me.

"I like to think my cheek is my most redeeming feature."

"Hmm… I wonder."

Slander!

Massing her to sleep didn't quite go according to plan. We were both so wound up with what happened, that neither one of us was quite ready to go to sleep, we just talked about our day, sex not included, while she enjoyed a back rub.

"Ooooh, yeah… other shoulder. Mmm… this is paradise… I'm glad we had this talk. Lord knows what you would have done to Sylphy."

"I'll have you know I'm not just a massage enthusiast I'm a massage expert. I never push it too far."

"As long as she isn't against it right?"

"Right."

"Well, consider this an impromptu lesson into a woman's heart. Mmmn… You're really good at this Rudy. If you kept doing this to Sylphy… I'm pretty sure she would give you the go ahead for massaging those other areas."

I'm really having this conversation aren't I. What kind of mother are you?!

The best!

"Should you really be telling your son that?"

"It's fine. For better or worse, I now know you wouldn't do anything to break a lady's heart, mine, or Sylphy's. Am I wrong?" She gives me a glance while a smirk on her face.

"You're not, but… ah… nothing. I just can't win against you."

"And don't you forget it!"

"Oh, I definitely won't. Still though, I feel a little offended. You make it sound like I'm easily manipulated or something. Like I can't read the signs or something. I'm not such a fool that I can be led around by anyone.

"I wouldn't know about that…" she mutters.

"More slander. I'll have you know I let you lead me around."

"Do you, or perhaps I'm letting you think I'm letting you think you're letting yourself be led around."

"Well… maybe I'm letting you letting me let you lead me around."

"Oooor~" she turns her head to the side, and taps me on the nose. "Not."

Oi, that's not fair. Stop playing cute. That's my thing!

"Hmph."

"Kya, my Rudy is the cutest~" she pushes up against me and rubs her cheek affectionately against my own.

"Whose yours?!" I defended myself, "If anything you're mine!"

"Heh~ Rudy wants me all to himself does he?"

"..."

"He he, blushing Rudy is cute too."

"I hate you," I whisper.

"Oh, sweetie," she puts a hand at the side of my face, before giving me an affectionate look. "I 'hate you' too," she says sweetly, kissing me on the nose. "...and don't you forget it," she whispered a smile opposing her words.

I hate her. Her and her cute games. Stop being so lovable.

"But, seriously," she changes back to her serious tone, "above all, I just wanted you to understand, you're not just a normal boy. You're a noble, you have power over Lilia. She can't refuse you, and not expect consequences. You can't behave like… your father, you have to think things through."

"I won't-"

"I know. I know you won't," she puts a hand on top of mine, prompting me to stop my massages if only for the moment. "I panicked a little back there, but you could, and that's what matters. When a noble askes a maid something from them. They are expected to do it, and even though they can refuse. They can also lose their jobs. I'm not like that, and you're not like that, but it is a possibility. I don't want you growing up with bad habits. You might think you're doing something harmless, but from their point of view, they don't have a choice. If one day you teased a maid in good fun, and she 'let,'' she emphasizes the word let, "you do something… or everything, it doesn't mean she enjoyed it. She was just doing her job. If you're not careful…" she turns to look at me, "I just needed you to know that. I don't want you to hurt someone… or yourself, because you thought something was there, when it wasn't. Just…" she strokes my face affectionately, "be careful okay?"

"I see… I get it. I will. Thanks."

Nothing I can say to that.

Like the sex ed talk she's just being too sincere for me to have any comeback. I'm a little hurt with her implications, but they're coming from a nice place.

Her love is heavy.

In the past. A long long time-well, maybe not that long ago, but a ways back I was thinking about these things when things were… less tumultuous, but I feel we've moved past that. I just can't say that out loud.

That being said, I want to make sure of something.

"Sooo massaging Lilia is good then?"

It seems she's bothered more by my approach than my actual actions.

"Hmph," she pouts. Her cheeks bubbling up like a chipmunk per usual. Actually… It's been a while since I've seen her puffy side. How I missed puffy Zeny.

"Am I not enough for Rudy? Rudy already has me, and he's going after Lilia. My precious Lilia." She rubs her eyes as she rubs 'tears' out of her eyes. There aren't any. She just enjoys playing. "First he goes after the maid, then he will go after his friend, then his friend's mom, then his friend's mom's mom, then the neighbor… oh, no! Rudy is going to lay his hands on all the women in the world! We have to warn the village!

"...you having fun."

"Very!"

You troll!

"But sweetheart, in all seriousness, I just want you to know I'm right here for you," she turns her head sideways, giving me a glance, "No matter what Lilia says… don't be disappointed if she doesn't respond the way you want," she said somberly, "If things don't end up ideally, I'll alway be here for you."

"I… see…"

I am annoyed.

I don't like how she's talking about it like I've lost before I've even started.

She might be an angel, but she has a devil's tongue.

"Kya!" she hollers as I scoot out away, letting her fall backwards onto the bed. "R-Rudy, w-where you going?" she says as she lays on the bed. Getting off the bed, I start walking around it, and my way towards the end of it, towards her feet, her eyes following me all the way.

"Nothing~ I'm just changing positions."

"Eh? Why?"

"Well~" I grabbed her foot, "Like you said earlier mama massages are good as long as you don't aim for any of the special zones. Which means foot massages are good too, right?"

"Um sure, but what does that have to-"

Trace on~

"oooooo!"

And this little piggy went to the market~

"I'm sorry mama. Did you say something? I couldn't quite hear you over your scream. Can you repeat that?"

"Huh? Eh? What? Rudy, what was thaaa- mmn!"

And this one went wee wee, all the way home.

I pinched another nerve, applying healing touch as I did so, making sure she felt it.

Heh~ take that.

Don't know this. Don't know that. Don't be disappointed if things don't end the way you want. I might be a little more annoyed here than I thought I would be.

It was one thing to attack my manhood, but… those comments about Lilia and me. It sounded like it was a foregone conclusion that I'm going to get my heart broken.

I'm not taking that lying down. Even for you.

I can't break the image of me in her head. Lord knows Lilia would want that. This is the best I could hope for, but… don't be disappointed in me if I don't match your ideal image.

Hopefully she won't be too crossed when I finish. Just a little mischief.

Tee-hee?

"Mmn… Rudy… these are different."

"Good different, bad different?"

"Just… mmn… different."

I freeze in place, "do you want me to stop?"

Come on, tell me to stop. I dare you.

I let go of her foot, and just looked at her.

She's looking restless and annoyed.

Welcome to my world.

"What? What is it mama?" I feigned ignorance.

"...why did you stop?"

"Didn't you say it earlier… I have to be sure that I'm not misreading things. That the person in question wants the same thing I want. There's no way I could know anything about women right." I grab her toe, and give it a playful shake as I speak, "I have to be extra careful so I don't hurt them. There's absolutely no way I would hurt you, but I have to be sure. After all," I get on the bed once more, at the end of it, and start working my magic. Literally. "I don't know anything."

Apparently.

"Rudy… are you- Nnn!"

Enough of that.

I apply a little magical nerve press once more.

Come on! Just admit it, that my massages are good and that I know what I'm doing.

I'm young, but give me a little credit.

Yeah, I get it. I'm a kid. I'm your baby boy. I don't know anything, but! I'm a man too, you know!

I might not have much pride, but she's been attacking my pride all day.

Why don't you just kick me in the nuts?!

The pain would only be momentary then.

With her toe still in hand. I apply a slightly stronger version of healing touch, but only a little.

"Hah… hah…"

… but, enough to get a reaction.

Thanks to Lilia's sacrifice all those moons ago I got good, like insanely good at massaging, combined with Zenith's own magical touch lessons, basically mana control, my control is at an insane level. Which means I don't have to worry about overdoing it. I can perform 'magic touch' on a person, and it will be… magical.

Batush-tush!

Sending my magic up her leg, I make sure to focus so as not to delve too deep. Less she experienced the 'side effect' of this spell.

Note to self; Sylphy must never know of my advances in massaging.

As far as she knows the regular massages she's managed to leverage out of me, read: blackmail, I'm proud of her, are the only massages I am capable of, and as such there is no other version.

She will never know…

Now then…

I look upon the miffed mil-mom, before me.

Just give up, and give me one.

If I don't have at least one victory by the end of today, I won't be able to sleep alongside you as you use me as a body pillow.

Give me peace!

Starting from the bottom, I decide to work myself to the top, sending mana throughout her body, as I run my fingers over her. Tracing her figure with two fingers, I go over her legs applying mana as I do so. Sliding over her. Going upward and upward, slowly and slowly, through the surface of her skin, I trace my fingers through her calves, and find the weak spots I was looking for.

"Aaahhh…" She exhales.

Then apply a little magic.

My mana echo technique, doing its job, finds knots of muscles and tendons that are tight, and forcefully unknotted from the inside out, and all the while I stick to the fun-damentals of it all, and remember to do so in a circular motions to help with the blood flow.

Gotta love otherworldly magic.

"Mmmn…"

She does.

Continuing the flow of energies I go through her calves, warming them up thoroughly as I strengthen her from the inside out.

You gotta love magic.

"Oooh… that's… nice…"

She's losing herself in the moment, and forgetting that she was miffed with me a moment ago.

Missing accomplished I suppose… but I'm in it more for petty revenge at this point then anything else. So I continue.

Going over her calves I hit the edge of her skirt, and I… acting a gentleman, traced over the fabric and into her thighs.

She would never know how frustrating she is to me.

The Millis blouse does little to obstruct me, my mana that is, and so I continue working my magic hands. Ignoring the fact that her chest is bobbing up and down with breaths. Giving her the true vip treatment she wanted, even if she herself didn't know it, and keep the magic flowing. Literally.

If I wanted to… If I really wanted to, I could probably reach where I shouldn't. Looking up to her face, I see her eyes close, as she is enthralled by my actions, and is in her own little world. So while she is soaring to new heavens, I am stuck here with the mortals.

Perhaps I should be a monk with my ability to be able to push away otherworldly desires.

Rubbing on top of the thin robe I press tightly on her calves, pressing a little harder, and taking note of how surprisingly firm they are… and needing a slightly deeper touch.

A deeper flow of energies to have the same effect.

"Ahnnn!" She twists and turns in bed. "Ah… Rudy I think… that was… you might have a talent for this."

"Hmm, maybe…"

Releasing. My finger's path continues as it slides upwards and upwards, tracing up her thighs, and keeping the flow of mana continuous. Up her belly, over her sides, over her arms, and over her shoulders, making a mental note to avoid the boob window, less I ruin my concentration, and finally landing at the side of her neck. Tracing myself a path, ever so slowly, and gently, I slide my fingers through her collarbone, and onto her neck, reaching the cross.

"Hahhh… hah…" she breathes harshly, her breath loud in my ear, as I'm hovering over her.

Looking down upon her slightly dazed form, I feel slightly content that I made her go through that.

Continuing up to her brow, my fingers reach up and part the hair blocking her eyes from mine. Finally looking into her eyes after that little massage trick. And I am ready to call it a day.

Checkmate.

"Well, what do you say? My massages are great aren't they? Heh? Heh? Still going to look down on me?" I focus on her eyes. "If mama doesn't tell me what she wants, there's no way I could know. I'm just a baby after all. Sooo… good?"

"...their good…" she whispered. So lowly that even this close I can barely hear her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't quite hear that?"

She turns her head to the side, "...you're massages… aren't half… bad" she mumbled.

"One more time. Didn't quite hear you," I lied.

Ok, lying might be bad, but I am the devil, if only for this moment, and I want to hear her say it one more time. My pride demands it. If this was any other day I would be scolded, so I have to win while the winning is good. Hell, I'll probably still be scolded once she recovers, but for now.

For now I win.

Besides, Zenith's embarrassed face is a rarity.

"Grr, fine!" she snaps, wrapping her hands around me, and locking me in them.

Ah… I'm trapped.

She sneaks a pinch on the back of my neck.

Ouch!

"You're the best, got it! Is that what you want? Now hurry up and put your hands on me"

Ah… She snapped.

"...Mama… language…"

She glares at me, "...are you sure you want to talk to me like that when my hands are so close to your ears?" she twirls her fingers over my ears as she says this. "Don't make me remind you what happens to men who toy with a woman's heart. What was my number one rule?"

Ah… what was it again?

"No sexual orders?"

"No. Rule one is not toying with a woman's heart. If you're not serious about her, don't you dare play with her. Now… are you going to keep playing with me, or…" she twirls her finger over my ears, letting it sink it.

Message understood.

"...well it would be a pain to refuse…"

"...you're already a pain. At least rub my belly."

Bellyrubs? Are you a member of the beastman race?

Zenith the animal… hmm… growl~

Pinch.

"Ow ow ow! Why?!"

"I didn't like that look on your face!"

"It's the face my mama gave me!"

"Yeah! Well…" She pulls on my face. "I'm taking it back!"

"Hooose pwaying whith whooo?!" I struggle to say as my face is played with.

"It's a mother's right to play with her son!"

This women has no common sense!

Well… neither do I.

Tyrant!

We keep messing around. We're tossing around. Here and there. My hands careful that they never touch anywhere they're not supposed to. Not an easy task when we're tossing around so erratically on the bed, but we manage. Beastman is an accurate description. We are like two cats fighting for dominance. I'm thankful for her trust in me. Normally someone would be worried that I might accidentally bump or hit her belly in some way. This isn't something you should be doing when pregnant, but I am attentive enough not to hurt her. I am even helping her, as I am moving her around as she's having trouble moving with a baby belly. Honestly, I deserve an award. I am literally going against my own self interest, just so she doesn't hurt herself.

Whether she knows it or not she uses it to her advantage, and gets a few playful pinches, tickles, and prods because of it.

Well, I am doing the same in return.

But I don't think she's as ticklish as I am. That, and for some reason she knows my weak spots better than I do, and as such…

"Hah… hah… got ya!" she looms over me. It would be inevitable that she would sit on top.

Looming over me, winning our little game of dominance. She is on top of me, hands pressed against my chest, sweat running down her body, and chest rising from activity. Her tight robes that I've been fighting to ignore, are sticking to her tightly, making it even harder to ignore her.

Then again, who can ignore her.

My eyes don't know where to look.

I never stood a chance.

"Hah… hahh… yeah… you got me…" I look at her face.

…she's smiling…

Losing… winning… both seem appealing. So long as I'm playing against her. Good game… partner.

"Rudy…" she looks at me with a gentle look, as she straddles me, moving a hand from my chest to my cheek. "...you're going to be dangerous when you grow up."

"Mama," I whisper, holding her hand against me, "...I'm already dangerous, but…" I let go of her hand and bring it and my other hand upon her belly, "if I really worry you so. Just look over me. I… I'm going to need you in the future. I won't hurt you, but sometimes I might be… well… spontaneous."

"Pfft-" she snorts, "that's one way to put it."

"Yeah… oops? Just… don't be disappointed in me if I'm not completely what you expect me to be."

"Rudy… you're a bit weird."

Ouch.

"But, you're my weirdo. Treat women with respect, and there's nothing you can do that would disappoint me," she locks hands with me, peering into my soul, "I'll still keep a close eye on you though. It's a mother's pleasure seeing her baby grow."

"Hmm~ an angel is looking over me. Oh, how will I ever deal with."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," she closes her eyes, oblivious to the smile on her face, "but keep doing it."

"Ha ha… Of course! Never gonna stop! Zenith?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you. Just… thought I'd tell you. I… I don't think I've told you once, so… I love yah… mama."

"Sweetheart, I…" she leans a little closer, before stopping, realizing that the belly in the middle stops her from bending so far, instead grabbing one of my hands she's locked with, and bringing it to her lips, giving it a kiss, "I love you too sweetie."

It's surprising, but my heart is not as a mess as it should be. Love comes in many forms, and no matter how I reason it; I love her. I'm struggling to figure out in what sense, and I'm still not sure of many things, but… I can't deny it. She is important to me. I just love her for who she is.

"Heal," with my one free hand still on her belly I casted.

"Sweetie?"

"A little gift from me to you," I rub my hand on her belly as she earlier wanted, "it can't be bad to have so much of a good thing."

"He he, who are you calling a good thing?"

"You know what I mean."

"He he- ooph, yeah… ha… ha… hah…"

"Zen-Mama?"

"Ah, yeah sorry sweetheart, but I think your little sis likes it too. She gave me a little kick."

"Heh~ then another one. A mother of two, gets two heals. Heal."

"Ha ha… mmnn… ha… hah… hahh… ah, Rudy… I think you should stop."

"Eh? Uh, sure. Is everything ok?"

A side effect?

"No, it's not that. I'm just feeling ahh… hah… a little weird," she grabs her belly in pain.

"Oh? Good weird, bad weird?" I replace my hand and apply a light mana echo technique to take a closer look, and see if I didn't do something.

"No… nothing like… hahhh… that… more… moREEEE!" She screams, arching her back, and looking toward the ceiling as-

Splash.

"...familiar weird…" she mutters.

"Eh?" I chortled.

As I suddenly feel a wet feeling on top of me..

Looking down, I see where it's coming from.

It came from Zenith's legs.

"Rudy… my water just broke." She looks at me with an expression between embarrassment and mortified; shocked eyes, red face, sweating, and unsteady breathing.

I changed my mind about what I said earlier. I don't need to win.

"Mama… you win…"

No matter what you do. Zenith always wins.

I guess I will have to use those anatomy lessons after all.