HP: The Crazy One

A/N: An original title im sure, this story is inherently chaotic, as magic should be, and I won't be able to explain some things that happen in the future because... magic. Also, the first part is true, I did laugh for a good 4-5 minutes at the word 'Optus' purely because of how its sounds and even now it still elicits a chuckle from me. Also, I switched to the first person after the sudden death due to the fact that I realized I'm a poor writer who can't understand how to write third person properly :).

Updated A/N: I've been getting a lot of rather incredibly angry comments recently saying the first few chapters are short. You are correct. I wrote these all within the same day and uploaded them in parts, and hindsight says this is a bad idea. My more recent chapters are longer.

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2022, September.

Zane was browsing the internet, laughing at obscure memes about secret esoteric knowledge about networking, then laughing at random words like 'Optus'. Today was like any other day for a 22-year-old, waking up, doing uni work, signing up for a gym then going sporadically, coming back home then going to sleep. One day on the way to the university, Zane was going his usual route. You see, the way he gets to the university is through public transport, and on this specific day, someone was standing behind him as the train was pulling into the station. Feeling a violent shove from behind as the train was passing, he spun back to see someone had pushed him off the station...

And... that's all. Zane doesn't remember anything else and doesn't even have time to regret some of his life choices before it all goes blank.

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Feb 1st, 1981.

Loud crying was heard from the delivery room. But this wasn't a parcel delivery, instead, it was a human delivery. Zane Zanithy Zouglas was born and was noted to have a "fine set of lungs", something his parents still bring up from time to time. However, it is not known to Zane's parents that he was crying because his life ended so fast.

'Damn, did I really die?' He said.

'Just like that?' He started tearing up again.

Remembering all that I had left behind, completely unwillingly, was quite depressing. I don't even know why I have pushed off that damn platform! I mean seriously, what have I even done wrong to suddenly get pushed off of a train platform!?

'Waaaaa!' He started crying.

To Zane, it was very disorientating being on a train platform, inches away from death. To now being a baby who can't even hear or see properly due to just being born!

"Aww, Martha, isn't he so cute?" Said an unknown, yet obviously male voice.

"No, he looks like he just was born." Said an equally unknown, yet probably named Martha's female voice.

Hearing that, I started laughing! I don't think I've ever heard of the mother saying that before, and by god did it take me by surprise!

"Well, now he is laughing Martha, maybe he understands your humour?" Said the still unknown male voice.

"Obviously not Cliff, did you understand English when you were just born?" Martha hissed, probably still exhausted from giving birth.

"Im just saying Marthy, he laughed right after you said no. But your right, I don't believe he would understand that. Now, let's focus on giving him a na-" Cliff was cut off.

"Zane."

"What?"

"His name is now Zane, Zane Zanithy Zouglas." Proclaimed Martha.

'How the hell did they know my name?' I tried to look at them, while confused. This can't be a coincidence, right? Same name as my past life? Come on. It must be magic that I have the same first name from my last life, the odds of it happening are basically too small to even count because you'd have to be reborn first! I'm also taking this a little too well! So many things in my past life that I've left behind... so many things that I've left unfinished... so many things that I said ill do later for years now. Maybe I can't feel too many emotions since I'm basically now a baby, I'm not sure. It's not like I can research it.

*sigh*

Time to play the years-long waiting game again. Let's see what this new life has in store for me.

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A/N: You might have noticed that I have no idea what I'm doing, and you'd be correct. You might have also noticed that he got over suddenly dying and having new parents, just inhumanly fast. I can't explain that because honestly... if I was in the same situation... it wouldn't take me long. Maybe like an hour or two? I have a lot of regrets but if I died and still remember my past life, well at least I remember the people I spent my last years with. I, at first, wanted to say something like 'Oh he is a natural occlumens' or something but frankly... yea it's just my personality coming into play.