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Disclaimer: If you recognise it, surprise, I don't own it.
Chapter 76- In The Pump it & Dump it Room.
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Waving my wand, the spell whips through the air again, and I spy the golden trails of magic wafting through the air that only I could see, which was interspersed with dark strings of cursed dark magic. Yeah, here I was again, once more trying to follow the trail that was affecting my mind back to its source and find the fucking Horcrux. And, of course, that isn't easy, as Hogwarts was full of magic. It was a goddamn hotspot. In fact, I think this stupid school is the biggest spot of magic in the entire world.
So yeah, when trying to follow the trail from my own head back to its source, I often got turned around and tangled with a bunch of other lines of magic before finding myself in a place where I don't need to be. To be honest, I was close to giving up on it entirely and just focusing on defending my mind, even thinking of just going straight to the school basement and fucking that snake up. But then, what would Tom Riddle do next without that weapon? I had no way to know, and I could only assume it would be worse and more challenging to discover. So yeah, that was out.
And then I spent that night with Minerva McGonagall, who was really a domination freak in the sheets. I was sure if I didn't look like I would refuse it, she would have definitely gone to places I would never want to go, but thankfully, she kept things to a level I was comfortable with. No penetration in me. But that gave me the motivation to continue my search. After all, in the days that followed, McGonagal decided to spend her time with me again, this time of her own volition and preparing the de-ageing potion herself. And I could tell she wanted to push things further each time, so I needed to cool things off and put some distance between our rendezvous. I would much rather be doing this mind-numbing repetitive searching than blowing out McGongalls back, or god forbid, her blowing my back out... Ugh.
So yeah, I've been searching for a while and again, I've been taking a tour of Hogwarts and finding all sorts of places around the place. I even found a completely empty room except for a single creepy painting floating in the middle of the room of an old decrepit man whose skin looked to be stretched over his bones and whose bulging eyes seemed to follow you around. Needless to say, I shut the door on that and even put up a Confundus on the door to keep people from entering it. I'm not sure what was going on there or what would have happened, but I know it wouldn't be anything good. Maybe one day, when someone pisses me off, I'll throw them in there and see what happens. But until then, I will forget about it completely.
You see, the problem with trying to find this diadem is that there are too many trails to follow throughout all of Hogwarts. And I know some would say, why don't you just start tracking the diadem starting from inside the room of requirement? Well, it doesn't work like that. You see, the diadem powers the curse, and the curse affects the Defence Against The Dark Arts Professor. But how can it tell that? Well, there is the classroom, and then behind the classroom, there is the office, and then through a door at the back of that is the bedroom where the teacher sleeps. The curse affects the person that sleeps there, and that's how it has always worked. I also have no doubt that the curse would still affect whoever is chosen through the Hogwarts wards and would still lock onto me, but this seems to be the method at the moment.
This is why I can't just start my search from the inside of the Room of Requirement. I have to start from my bedroom and then follow the trail back to its source, but there are like a million strands all over the place, and more often than not, I get mixed up and end up in a completely different place. The strand I am following is mostly gold as it is disguising itself to avoid detection by anyone, but there are tinges of black in places that are hard to see. Very hard to see, which is how I always get mixed up and somewhere else.
Today, I have again followed the trail, and for once, I have actually found myself in the Room of Requirement, so I have actually got my hopes up. None of the strands I had followed before had actually brought me into this room, and I doubt there is actually much going from this room out to the rest of Hogwarts, but there is still a lot of stuff in here, so the search is still hard. So, I continued to follow the trail, which I was sure was the correct one, but I was also sure all the other times, so who knows what the hell I was going to. Still, I am in the room, and there is a chance I might just walk by the thing, so I keep an eye out just in case.
It is hard to spot anything small when you are surrounded by so many things that are so varied. Broken and damaged furniture, which are mostly chairs, tables, and various cabinets haphazardly stacked all over the place either because they are no longer needed or they are too damaged. As well as thousands and thousands of books all over the place, either in tottering piles or in bookcases which are not all even standing up right. Those are just the normal things, and stuff gets weirder as I continue to go deeper into the Come and Go room... That would make a good yo mama joke. They call yo mama's vagina the come-and-go room... I should remember that for later.
Anyway, I spot a bunch of different things in my descent into the madness that is this room. I see a bunch of flying catapults that don't really make sense and do, because why do you need catapults when you can just use magic to throw it, and you have magic, so why not make your catapults fly so it's easier to transport. There are fanged frisbees around, some moving through the air and some stationary, but they all have sharp teeth on the edges, and I saw one snap shut like a pac man that would definitely take a chunk out of someone.
There are chipped bottles of congealed potions layered around the place, along with corked bottles whose contents still shimmered evilly. What looked like dragon eggshells, which made me wonder which lunatic was on Hagrids level to go and hatch a goddamn dragon on school grounds. There were also weapons around the place too. Several rusting swords, a heavy, bloodstained axe and a bunch more that were all at varying stages of use, some stained, some not, but I stayed away from them all nonetheless. I'm a wizard; I don't need anything like that unless it's a bloody magical sword, and even then, I'd probably just put it on a wall for display purposes rather than actually use it.
Over there is an enormous stuffed troll which is so incredibly lifelike that I almost shat myself and started flinging spells at the fucker, but no, it isn't alive. I sure don't want to meet the fucker that saw a troll and then thought, you know what, I'd like to stuff this ugly fucker and keep him around to look at him whenever I want. Stuffing animals is just something I don't get. Do you want a trophy? How about capturing the fucker and keeping it in an enclosure? Better than sneak attacking it or throwing a bunch of men at it, as if that is some sort of accomplishment.
I walk past numerous broken cabinets as I go, which makes me wonder if it is the broken Vanishing Cabinet that a student had gotten shoved into by Fred and George Weasley, which ended up breaking the thing. I don't bother to check because there are way too many cabinets. Also, how would I even know if it was the correct one? It is broken and wouldn't work in the first place. So I just moved on. I saw hats, jewels including a trunkful as well as a bunch of other trunks, and cloaks. I resolved myself to come back later to check over this stuff for valuables, but for now, I had to keep following the sting and not lose sight of it.
But even with all my focus, there were a lot of bizarre things that kept drawing the eye. Many cages in various sizes, including one with a 5-legged skeleton in it. I don't know what it was a skeleton of, only that it definitely had what looked like five human legs, but the rest of it was bizarre, and I decided to move on before my brain cooked up some nightmare monster that would no doubt haunt my dreams.
One that would almost haunt me as much as that chipped old bust of an ugly warlock. Seriously, the only reason this guy must have a bust made of him was so people could record down the ugliest fucker to have ever lived because that is fucking horrid. I sent a blasting curse at it to rid the world of this stain, but it remained unharmed, and it was obvious that I wasn't the first to try and destroy this because it seemed to be invulnerable to other spells I sent at it as well. I moved on before I lost any more brain cells.
There were a few heavy broomsticks that must have been some of the first to have ever been made, but they were obviously nothing compared to the Firebolt that we had just released. Maybe I could take it for display purposes. Maybe start a Quidditch Hall of Fame and have old brooms and Quidditch player memorabilia inside and charge for tickets to see inside. Stop, Gil, don't think about money making right now; just focus on searching the room.
Oh, and there's a record turntable that's... skipping. Literally, it has legs and is skipping through the aisles of rubbish all over the place. There's a banjo that somehow quirks an eye at me as I pass it by, and a set of dominoes which seem to be organising themselves to make various structures, reordering themselves to spell 'Hi' as I pass it by. A lot of various metalware around, including cauldrons that are in all sorts of shapes. Like, who needs one with spikes coming out the sides of it.
There are a lot of trophies all over the place, making me think maybe I should just do a full-on museum with all the crap inside this room because this shit has just been collected for years. Over to one side is a pedestal with a mask on it. It is a green mask that seems to be made out of wood or something, and it is shaped like those comedy and tragedy masks. Hm. Why am I thinking of Jim Carey while looking at it saying 'Smokin'!' and I also see Cameron Diaz dressed in a sexy little body-hugging red dress and just looking mesmerising. No, stay focused. Not the time for horny thoughts.
Just keep moving, with only an eye out for Rowena Ravenclaws Diadem. Ignore the various portraits and frames around the place with some people in them begging me to take them out of this room and others frozen forever. Ignore the suits of armour, some being disassembled, but all seemed to move around, some talking to each other and fighting but ignoring me altogether. Even ignoring all the clothes and various textiles, some looking to be animated. I spot one cloak that waves at me as I pass by, and I am reminded of Doctor Strange. It takes some willpower to move on from that because having a kickass flying and sentient cape would be kick ass.
Hold on a moment, isn't a bunch of shit all over this whole fucking wizarding world sentient? For fucks sake, if Arthur fucking Weasley could enchant a stupid blue Ford Anglia and make it fly as well as being capable of invisibility and sentient thought because that sassy blue bitch threw Harry and Ron out on their ass with their stuff, then I could fucking do it. Shit, I don't know why I didn't think of this before. I could totally make a Doctor Strange-style cape that I could wear anywhere I want that is capable of flight and sentient thought. Hell, I could enchant it to be spell resistant or some shit so it could move and cover me from sneak attacks and other crap or just spells I miss.
All right, it shouldn't be too hard if Arthur Wealsly, who works in the misuse of muggle artefacts of all people, could do it. Some research, and I'll be on my way. Of course, after this school year is over, I'll be safe once again, but that doesn't mean I can't think about my future plans for it. I continue to move and follow the trail of magic as I think about my future fabulous cape and its design; maybe I will have Madam Malkin make it and do the enchanting myself. Not completely losing myself to this new idea, I continued to follow the magic, keeping an eye out on the items around me as well, spotting more furniture, more jewels, more books, a discoloured old tiara and a bunch more stuff-
I stop in my tracks, first looking at the trail of magic that I was still following in front of me, and then back behind me at the old tiara. Tiara is just another word for diadem, right? So, then, isn't there the possibility that this thing over here is just the thing I have been looking for? But, it seems so old and discoloured, sure not. Plus, the line of magic I have been following so far goes right past it, so it can't be. However, I haven't seen any other diadem in all the time I've been searching this room, so... Hm, do I continue to follow the line, or abandon it to play closer inspection to this tiara. These lines are so numerous that if I turn my back on it or lose focus on it, then I'll never find it again. Should I risk it?
Making my decision, I start to slowly step backwards, moving backwards and keeping my eye on the line to try and get the best of both worlds. Eventually I have moved beside the tiara, and I pay closer attention to it, making sure not to let the line out of sight. Giving the tiara as much attention as I can, I can see some intricate designs on the thing, but by far the most prominent thing on it is the shiny blue oval-shaped sapphire in the centre of it, which looks pristine in contrast to the rest of the thing. Blue, the colour of Ravenclaw. Well, that's enough for me to put all my eggs in one basket and risk smashing them all to pieces.
Turning away from the line, I look at the Tiara. Now that I pay closer attention to it, I can see that it is just a very thick layer of dust that is making the thing look discoloured. However, even with that, the effervescent Saphiure is still clear and clean in it. Inching closer but not daring to get too close or touch just yet in case it is dangerous, I start to round it, looking at it from all sides. On it, I noticed some writing. Etched upon its surface was a quote: 'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.'
Well, shit. I've never heard a more Ravenclaw saying in my life. There's no doubt about it. This is the Lost Diadem of Ravenclaw. Rowena Ravenclaw's Diadem. Tom Marvolo Riddle's, better known as Lord Voldemort, Horcrux. This is it; it has to be. I'm going to feel pretty stupid if this isn't it or if it's a fake or something. But I'm ninety-nine percent sure this is it. And if I recall correctly, Harry was just able to pick this up with nothing happening to him, wasn't he? Still, my caution doesn't leave. After all, Horcruxes have been shown to vary wildly.
I mean, the diary has a sentient Voldemort in it, the locket affected the mind, the ring put a death curse on you or something, and I can't recall what the others did at the moment. Still, most things, crucial things, have been accurate enough to what I remember, so I decided to risk it. I reach out a hand tenderly to grab it.
Before I can even touch it, there is a whoosh of air, and the world spins around me.
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Oi Oi Oi, Homelander done took me be boy, and killed me bloody wife. I watched the season finale, and while I was expecting a big fight and explosions, it was all very sudden and quick, but I liked i none the less. The season was realy just the prelude to the climax. It is all build up, and next season is going to be crazy and wild the entire time. Can't wait.
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