Archer's POV
It should make me feel so happy when I heard Ella beg me to love her again, even if I knew she was under the influence of alcohol, but it made me realize I couldn't love her anymore because I was scared that I would lose myself if ever Ella will leave me again. I don't want a repeat of history.
I should move on with my life, now that I could see Ella's pain every time I looked at her, I should be triumphant, but it is not what I feel; instead, I wanted to take her suffering away. I wished to see her smile. I couldn't express it in words, and making love with Ella worsened our situation. I could tell I wanted more and needed to do something since if I continued to spend more time with Mariela without distraction, I could tell I would lose to her.
I will be at Ella's mercy once again, and when she gets bored and earns money from me, she will flee, and I hate to see myself under Mariela's spell again. I need to let her go.