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Ch 18 Preparations and Patroni

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Dear Perseus,

It's not a truly bad goal, but I don't know if that would be a really good goal for you to have. I mean, even the strongest wizards still fear each other, right? So when would you have enough power? I mean, protecting the people you care about is something everyone should try to do...but aren't there better goals than just gaining power? I mean, what about gaining the ability to help people, making the world a better place or something? Wouldn't that be a better goal?

I don't know, it just sounds a bit odd to me.

What's appealing to me about becoming a healer is how it allows me to help people, to prevent the deaths of their loved ones, you know (And wanting to help people is NOT a bad thing, just so you know!)? Moreover, it's a well-respected profession, and it would help me to make a bunch of friends, you know?

Companionship? Of what sort do you mean? Just talking and such, or something more? Regardless, someone like you will always have options for friends, you can be certain.

Hmm, if your friend were to consider her a slut, I would have to agree with her. Some girls act like that when they don't care about a long-term relationship, and just want to get with their victim for a short while. It sounds like most of the guys have figured her out, so she has to work particularly hard to get them interested.

I'm sorry, as I'm sure you care about her, but facts are facts. If she wanted him for more than just a quick fling, then she would be herself instead of some pretend-girl.

That's an interesting spell idea you have; it can easily end a fight with a minimum of real damage, although it does require the use of Leglimency, a discipline that I honestly don't have much practice in using...or any for that matter. I'd definitely be willing to help you with such a spell, even if it is Dark Magic.

Tutoring does sound like a good idea for coping, and I might just try something like it in the future. However, you seem to blame yourself for your mother's suicide, and that REALLY isn't your fault. It was her choice and hers alone, and she chose to do something really selfish in killing herself. Wherever she is now, she probably regrets it thoroughly.

I know what it's like to lose someone close to you, but you can't dwell on it, or you'll drive yourself mad with the might-have-beens.

Your friend,

Medusa

Unfortunately, Lily hadn't been able to uncover much of anything about how Mulciber and Avery were bothering Severus. Between Severus' seemingly-endless reticence regarding the issue ('Lily, it's complicated, alright!'), having to catch up on her homework and studies, and especially of late, Prefect duties-Lily could barely make time to sleep, let alone investigate.

The fact that she spent a fair portion of her time moping over her father also didn't help.

In Hogwarts it was customary for Prefects to patrol the corridors as needed, although whether alone or in pairs was usually at their discretion. However, thanks to Remus' angering McGonagall due to both the incident earlier that year and his lack of fortitude when it came to some of his housemates, he had been assigned to be paired up with one of his fellow Prefects each and every night he patrolled this year...supposedly, as some form of moral stiffening.

Tonight was Lily's turn, and since it was just too awkward to walk around saying nothing she soon started making conversation.

"So...how are you and Sabrina doing? Anything I should be hearing about in particular?" asked Lily as she peeked her head around a nearby corridor, taking a moment to listen to make sure that the apparent emptiness of the passage was due to an absence of life rather than a charm of some sort.

Realizing what she was doing, Remus waited for her to nod her head before replying, his face rather pink, "Err...we're doing well, I think. The two of us are going to Hogsmeade this Sunday, but I'm not sure if we're going together or err...together."

"Really? That's great." Lily smiled encouragingly, but inwardly frowned. Her last conversation with Sabrina had seemed to indicate that she just wanted to use Remus' knowledge in an effort to get close to James. If that was the case...she hoped that Remus wasn't getting his hopes up only to be hurt in the end. Speaking of James... "Hey, Remus, I don't know if you know this...but I'm planning to meet James for some Transfiguration tutoring later this week."

"You don't say," said Remus dryly, an amused grin on his face as the two of them continued on their rounds. "Given how he's been mentioning it every few minutes, like it's a talisman or something...I think everyone knows. If I didn't know better, I'd say that he had just been told he could be king of the world he's so happy."

Lily had to chuckle at the image of James Potter ordering around everyone on the planet; it did certainly fit him. However, she had some other questions to deal with first. "Well, regardless, I was wondering if you have any idea of what I should bring. You know, to the tutoring session, like props and the like."

Remus shrugged, taking a moment to check down another corridor before replying, "I don't think you'll need to bring anything, or James would have told you. I wouldn't worry too much; James knows what he's doing." Remus smiled a fond smile. "He tutored Peter in some pretty difficult magic a couple of years back, with Sirius' help of course."

Lily blinked, surprised. "Huh...never heard that one. No wonder Pettigrew's still in Transfiguration at the N.E.W.T. level."

Remus frowned, giving Lily a level look. "Yeah...but Peter's pretty smart, even if his grades aren't that good."

"Err, sorry," muttered Lily, looking away. "I didn't mean to insult him. It's just that...well, it surprised me, is all."

Remus shook his head, an apologetic smile barely visible. "No, it's nothing; I just get tired of James and Sirius putting him down all the time."

"Ah." They continued in silence, Remus checking the hallways and secret passages on the right, while she took the ones on the left. It was surprisingly deserted given that May had rolled around with the promise of Summer making their fellow students rather frisky. One time, Lily had caught a pair of students copulating in the hallways... She still didn't know who was more embarrassed, her or them...

"So who are you going to Hogsmeade with?" asked Remus suddenly, checking another hallway as he did so. Seeing Lily's raised eyebrows he quickly back-tracked, muttering, "If you don't want to say, I don't mind, as it's your business. I'm just curious is all."

"Don't worry, I'm not offended or anything. Your question just surprised me, that's all." Lily grinned, causing Remus to visibly relax, then continued, "I haven't talked to him, but I'm probably going with Severus, as friends you know."

Remus chuckled, clearly amused. "Ah...James probably wouldn't be too thrilled to hear that. He's rather jealous of Severus already, so hearing that he's going to Hogsmeade with you probably won't be the highlight of his life."

"Rather jealous?" Lily snorted incredulously, shaking her head in disbelief. "You should have heard him a couple of weeks back! 'Rather' is a definite understatement. It seems pretty childish if you ask me..."

Remus shrugged. "I agree, but what can you do?"

Lily didn't reply, save for a polite hum of agreement. Really, what else was there to say?

"Out of curiosity..." spoke Remus suddenly, his voice overlaid with a pretend nonchalance. Glancing behind a portrait where a secret passage was known to lie, he asked, "...how are things going with your pen-pal? You haven't said anything about it for a while and...I've been wondering."

"Hmm..." Lily looked at him strangely. Why did he care about her pen-pal? It wasn't like he- Lily's eyes widened, and before she could stop herself, she blurted, the proverbial pieces to the puzzle coming together, "Wait, you were the one who set Severus and me up, weren't you?"

"I...err, have no idea what you're talking about. I was just making conversation," replied Remus quickly, but Lily didn't miss the guilty look on his face as he spoke.

"I know you're lying, Remus! Stop acting like I'm some kind of idiot and tell me the truth!" retorted Lily with a shout, glaring at him as he cowered against the nearby wall. Realizing that she might be overreacting, she took a deep breath and said in a much calmer voice, "Remus, I'm not angry that you did it, really I'm not. I'm just...surprised is all."

Remus seemed to weigh his options carefully, worry visible in his eyes, but he finally said, "Alright, but you have to promise me that you'll never tell anyone, alright? James and Sirius would hate me if they found out what I did." At Lily's quick nod, he continued nervously, "Well, you know how...my friends had a tendency to err...try to make Snape's life less than perfect, right?"

Lily gave him a look that seemed to say 'Gee, you think?', causing him to let out an embarrassed chuckle. "Alright, I guess you do know, but the point is, well...I've always felt a bit bad for the guy. I mean, he's a Dark Arts-loving wanker who will probably end up torturing Muggles to death for fun...but I felt guilty about what we were doing."

Lily nodded, although she gave him a cold glare at his insults toward Severus. Coughing, Remus continued his tale, "Well, early this year, Dumbledore gave me the task of sending all the notices to the various pen-pals out, saying that I'd be off patrol duty for a month if I got it done quickly enough. Apparently he had some sort of...anyway, I was looking through the list, remembering how James had put Snape in a full-body bind before classes that day, and I had an idea to sort of...you know, make up for it. I knew that the two of you had once been friends and all, and I thought that maybe if I helped him out...it might make us alright in, I dunno, karma or something."

"Knowing I didn't have much time, if I wanted that month off, I quickly switched the pen-pals up. Your pen-pal and his pen-pal got each other, while I put him together with you." Remus chuckled, seeing Lily seeming to ponder what he was saying. "I'm glad that the two of you got things sorted out."

Lily frowned slightly. "Actually, we didn't, not because of your letter scheme..." Her face softened. "...but I'm glad that you did it, all the same. Don't think that makes up for six years of hiding your head in the sand while your mates beat him up though."

Remus sighed. "I know...but does that answer your question?"

"Yes, Remus, it does." They walked for a few moments in silence, before Lily showed mercy and changed the subject, "So...how is your Patronus memory project-thing coming? I'm doing pretty well, probably going to use a few memories of my father, but Severus is being very annoying and isn't helping me in the slightest. Dunno why."

Remus seemed rather surprised, but shrugged, "I couldn't tell you either, but if you don't mind, I'm having some issues with..."

"Alright, class, let's get to working. Remember, try to concentrate on happy memories, not who you're taking to Hogsmeade this weekend! Dementors can't kill you, but your mummies wouldn't want to see you a soulless husk, now would they?"

As it turned out though, Lily's plan to take Severus to Hogsmeade ran into a bit of a snag in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class, although not because of the teacher's shout.

"What do you mean you're 'busy'?" hissed Lily in surprised anger. "You aren't going with your friends, you said so yourself last week! I thought that the two of us were going together, like we did in February!"

"Keep it down," urged Severus frantically, a wary eye on the teacher as the man stormed over to the Marauders' table, from which a strange purple smoke was emanating. Scowling at Lily, he replied quietly to her, "Listen, I'm sorry but there's something important that needs proper...handling. Besides, I don't think that you'd be interested in-"

Lily interrupted, glaring stonily. "I'll choose what I'm interested in, thank you very much. Tell me what it's about, Severus Snape, or I'll...well, whatever it is, it'll be quite bad for you I'm sure." Her voice softened, even as her face pinkened. "Besides...I'd rather spend time with you, all things considered.

It was quite fortunate for her that Severus didn't notice her blush, being diverted by a loud thud from behind him. Instead he responded coolly, his face turned away to keep an eye on the Marauders' table, "Well, I must say that's quite a surprise to me, given recent events. Honestly, I thought that you'd be pleased by the chance offered to spend time with someone else."

Lily blinked, surprised at Severus' sudden frigid attitude. Her eyes then narrowed as she whispered angrily, "Excuse me?"

A dark sneer played across her friend's sallow face as he turned back to her, growling, "You did hear me, correct? I thought that you'd enjoy the chance to hang out with your precious Potter! Perhaps you could ask him how to perform a runny-nose jinx as he beats up a few small children. Sounds like a wild afternoon, eh?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

The voice of the teacher rang out again. "Remember, concentrate on happy memories! We'll be testing you when you get back"

There was a sudden pause, during which Severus looked away, his eyes shifting around oddly.

"Oh, never mind," bit out Severus, shaking his head in clear disgust before returning his head to the inside of a book, flipping through the pages much like he had the past few weeks. For some reason, eye contact had become a thing of the past, especially in DADA. Still, he did manage to mutter, "If you must know, I'm planning to keep an eye on Evelyn's date this weekend."

"You're spying on her date?" Lily's eyes widened, shocked. She knew that something weird had to be going on, given how he was blowing up at her for something really silly, but this was... "Are you insane, Severus? Really, are you? That's something that's done in soap operas by jealous ex-boyfriends and the..." Lily paused, a sour taste entering her mouth at the thought. "Wait, are you jealous of Evelyn's-"

"As entertaining as your sudden inanities are," interrupted Severus smoothly, a single sardonic eyebrow raised. "Jealousy is not something I feel towards her fool of a date, that you can be certain of."

"Then why? Why spy?"

Severus gave her a level look, although not before checking on Skeith again. "There have been...rumors about the twit, rumors that he's been a bit overly-pressuring towards his prior girlfriends...in the sexual sense. I'm worried that if Evelyn were to say no..."

"...that he wouldn't accept it," finished Lily, her eyebrows knit in worry as she thought furiously. Turning to Severus, she then asked carefully, "What's she think of your concerns?"

Severus frowned darkly. "Just like with that Dewitt fellow, she's over the moon for her current guy, Darwinus Marvin of Hufflepuff. She won't listen to a single one of my concerns, as she's sure that 'this guy is the right one for me, I just know it!'." He snorted. "There's love, then there's delusion, and this is clearly a case of the latter."

"Well, in that case...I'm coming along too." Lily smirked, noticing Severus' surprised blinking at her. "Come on, did you think that I'd leave you to do the right thing all by yourself? Give me some credit at least!"

"Hmm...I don't know..." replied Severus in careful tones. "Spying is more of a one-person job..."

A sudden shout rang through the room, causing the teacher to all but squawk in indignation, James yelling, "Hey, Lily, make sure you study up on human transfiguration! We're covering it day after tomorrow, when we're all back from Hogsmeade!"

Lily, although quieter than the grinning Gryffindor boy, nonetheless called back, "Alright, James, see you then! And five points from Gryffindor for yelling in class!"

"Alright!"

Turning back to Severus, Lily saw a strange look on his face, as if he were looking at something which didn't quite make sense. "What?" she asked, confused.

"Hmm, actually, I think that maybe you should come along." came Severus' voice, quiet and measured. "I think that we need to talk."

Reminded of her quest in regards to his friends, Lily nodded. "Agreed."

"Meet you at the entrance to the Great Hall then?" asked Severus, with a raised eyebrow.

"Certainly..." Lily glanced at the professor, who had an eye on her. She grimaced, muttering, "Let's get back to work; the professor might give you this class off, but I need to keep my marks off. What memories have you been using?"

Severus flushed, turning to look at his book once again. "Never you mind, Lily. Never you mind."

Lily frowned, but tried to focus on a happy memory instead: her father telling her how proud he was that she was going to Hogwarts...and how he hoped that she would be a good student and an example to all...

Unfortunately, all she got was a few whitish wisps and tears in her eyes...

Dear Medusa,

Perhaps, but your answer smacks of naivety and ignorance of the way the world works. If one doesn't have power, then people WILL take advantage, especially in my case. I have had to deal with a number of situations where I lacked the power needed to defend myself; although I did nothing to start the fight in those cases...that didn't mean I wasn't attacked.

I never said that wanting to help people was a BAD thing, just something that isn't as good as making sure that you are safe, as how can you protect people when you are the one who needs protecting?

It's complicated, and that's all that I can say, although I will say that you badly overestimate my options for friendship.

I'm sorry you feel that way about her, as you have clearly chosen to close your mind to other possibilities, which disappoints me given how much you claim you want to help people. I suspect that it's for another reason, but you clearly have no intention of listening, in spite of your words. I honestly think that both you and my friend are twits who have no idea how the world works. As you have no intention of listening, we'll simply have to agree to disagree.

In regards to the little Dark Arts spell I was working on, thank you for your assistance, although I mostly have the basic idea finished up already; what I really need help with is in IMPROVING the spell beyond the baseline. Any ideas for that?

Your naivety is showing again; it's almost as impressive as your claimed intelligence. If she committed suicide, there was certainly a REASON FOR IT! As she'd dealt with my father's...disgusting habits for most of my life and she spent most of the time in the house, it's probably due to my own actions or lack thereof that she chose to end her life.

I know that you are correct about not dwelling on the might-have-beens, but there is a difference between that and not admitting one's guilt, wouldn't you say? If you are at fault, then it does no-one any good to ignore your own guilt, something I hope you learn.

Your friend,

Perseus

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