Chapter 24: April 22 ll

6:45 PM

Although my first suggestion was to eat dinner in the house and carry out our very private conversation alone, Sasha felt cooped up for far too long already and wanted to get out. Peyton, Annette, and Natalee were still downstairs, and they agreed to camp out until we returned just in case Elyse returned to the house.

So Sasha and I went out and picked up a simple dinner: organic wraps, fresh veggies, and fruit smoothies from a local joint. We took the food with us up into the hills and to the Lawrence Hall of Science with a great view of the city beneath us. And since the hall itself was closed while sunset was still an hour away, we pretty much had the entire plaza to ourselves with plenty of privacy in a wide open space.

The weather was nice, cool enough to encourage cuddling but not so cold as to be uncomfortable. We sat side-by-side on the retaining wall "bench" surrounding the fountain, eating our food and enjoying the view. But once the food was gone Sasha turned herself to sit cross-legged facing me, and setting down her drink between us she gave me a frank look and said, "Okay, let's have it."

"'Let's have it'?"

"You've been avoiding the topic this whole time. We came up here so you could have someone to confide in about this whole Kim-thing, but you've been deflecting and making small-talk about unimportant crap ever since we left the house." She put her elbows on her knees and folded her hands together beneath her chin. "Before, I felt bad because I thought I'd been selfish by changing the subject to your feelings about me instead of letting you talk about Kim, but now I'm wondering if you've been avoiding the subject yourself."

I had the straw of my smoothie in my mouth as she finished, and after one final sip I set my drink down between us as well. Leaning back on my hands, I stared off toward the horizon, drinking in the view of the San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance. And I sighed wearily.

"Maybe I made a mistake," I said finally.

Sasha waited an extra beat to see if I'd continue, but when I didn't she leaned forward a little and asked, "A mistake?"

I sighed. "Getting Kim pregnant."

Sasha blinked. "That's only occurring to you NOW?"

I glanced over at her and rolled my eyes. "I'm serious."

"So am I. I'd like to think you're an intelligent guy; you certainly seem to breeze through your classes so effortlessly that just kills me. And yet I could never figure out how someone as smart as you actually DECIDED to have a baby out of wedlock. With Kim. Hell, I could never figure out how someone as smart as HER could LET you impregnate her. You two weren't married, or even DATING as far as I could tell. You were still in college and both had been accepted into the MBA program and had years and years ahead of you to settle down and raise a family together if that was the sort of thing you ever wanted to do. Not to even mention the whole bit about you telling me you don't love her in 'that way' and never will. And only NOW does it occur to you that you may have made a mistake?"

Still staring at the bridge, I replied quietly, "The decision Kim and I made back then made sense at the time. I don't particularly expect you to understand it, no matter how many different ways I try to explain it. There's something very unique about our relationship, something special. But it's a relationship that's very different from romance, different from family, and otherwise different in any way from any other relationship I can really explain..."

Sasha raised her eyebrows, waiting for me.

I sighed. " ... or at least it was."

"But not anymore?"

I shrugged. "I'm not so sure. Kim and I crafted that very unique relationship all last year, right up until I broke up with her in the aftermath of the whole Dawn-thing. I didn't know what to expect from her when we returned to school, but she knew exactly what she wanted from me. Coldly dumping her hadn't stopped her from continuing to be in love with me. If anything, the summer apart only amplified those emotions – absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all. And when she came back it was with a carefully crafted plan to not only position herself by my side in that little spot between girlfriend and friend exactly where she wanted to be, but also guide me to an emotional place where I could understand what she really wanted from me."

"She wanted a baby?"

I frowned and turned to look at Sasha. "Well, no, not exactly."

"You mean about her wanting you to be her Master."

I smiled. "That's just it: she doesn't actually want me to be her 'Master'. Master is a term, like 'submissive', that doesn't really do justice to the role either of us has played in each other's life. When people talk generically about Masters and subs, they're talking about kinky sex and bondage and stuff like that. I'd imagine that very few people actually have a submissive mental makeup in the way you might read about in some trashy Penthouse letter, and those that do might very well have a diagnosable mental illness. Kim's not actually a 'submissive'. She's just a young woman who really, really wants someone to care about her, to TAKE care of her, and assure her that everything in her life will be alright in the end. And really, aren't those the sorts of things that EVERYONE wants?"

Sasha furrowed her eyebrows, thinking it over. "Well ... yeah. But not every girl goes about finding that the way SHE does."

"Too true. Kim's certainly unique. I'm just trying to point out that at her most basic level, she's really not that different from you or me."

"Then what's the big deal?"

I sighed and stared forward again. "The big deal is that she's pregnant, and that's my fault. You see, Kim's in love with me, and she wants me to love her and take care of her and do those things for the rest of our lives, even knowing that I don't love her in the same romantic way I might love someone else ... like I might love you."

Sasha blushed, smiled, and stared at her lap.

"I don't get it sometimes. I mean, why me? Like you pointed out just this afternoon, there are a million reasons NOT to be in love me. But she is, and I think it's because she truly believes that I'll move Heaven and Earth to protect her – it's that White Knight thing you all keep harping on about. She knows I'd never take advantage of her, to abuse my dominant position in our relationship. And even if we never get married or become that kind of romantic couple, she believes she'll have her happily ever after."

"Sounds great, except that you're here with me, and she's back home with her dad and a tiny life growing inside her belly."

"Yeah, that. Like I said: my fault."

"Obviously."

"I mean more than just the sperm." I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before focusing my attention on Sasha. "I loved DJ. No matter what she or anybody else might say about me 'settling' for Dawn's little sister, I loved DJ. I honestly, truly, and wholeheartedly believe she and I would have been deliriously happy together for the rest of our lives. And despite what you may think of me after the whole Tri-Delt West harem and all the time I've spent porking you and Andie while knowing about your feelings and yet not returning them, I'm a complete romantic at heart. I was there. I was engaged, I was already married in my heart, and we were expecting a baby. I was right there. I had it all in my grasp: the family I'd always wanted. And with one little medical procedure, it all was taken away from me."

Sasha took one look at me and averted her gaze. I could only imagine the kind of expression on my face that would have made her do that.

Taking a deep breath, I turned away again and looked off at the horizon. And in a grave voice, I murmured, "Kim's father actually came out and said it: 'You cannot simply replace your lost girlfriend with my daughter. And you cannot simply replace your lost child with this one. That is not fair to Kim.'"

Sasha blinked. "He said that? He knows about you and DJ?"

I nodded. "Kim told him. Kim told him everything, I'm sure. For her dad, she's an open book, and she'll answer any question he puts to her. I just don't think it ever occurred to him to ask if she was his submissive before."

"Wow. You mean ... like everything?"

"Pretty much. He practically knows as much about my relationship with Kim as -I- do."

Sasha whistled. "THAT'S gotta be weird. Knowing that your ... uh ... well not father-in-law but the dad of your baby mama ... that he knows all your secrets."

I briefly thought about Brooke, and about how Sasha had never known about my incestuous relationship with my sister, and how I couldn't be sure how she might react if she ever found out. And then I realized that Kim's father did NOT know about me and Brooke. After all, he'd thrown quite a few other indiscretions in my face during our conversation, including my summer affair with Viktoriya Isakova.

"Actually, he doesn't know ALL my secrets," I replied tightly, still processing this new realization. "I think Kim only told him anything that was directly connected to HER. Personal secrets ... things I still haven't even told you ... Kim still kept from him. Huh ... I hadn't realized that until just now."

"So there ARE limits to her obedience to him."

"I suppose. Very little about Kim is black and white. She's..."

"Complicated," Sasha finished with a smirk.

I nodded and looked back at her. "But we'd found a good balance, a near-perfect relationship, although I'm loathe to ever call anything 'perfect' at this point. I promised Kim I would take care of her, and in turn, she would take care of me. Being my common sense, saving me from my own stupidity sometimes, managing my household affairs, and even satisfying me in the bedroom: all of these things made her happy. They gave her contentment and satisfaction. The reality is that if I HADN'T knocked her up, she'd be right here in this house finishing out her degree, and we'd have maintained that kind of relationship all this time. But I DID knock her up. And she's not here anymore. She's down there with her dad. And it's all my fault."

"You couldn't have known."

"Couldn't I? I knew how protective her father is. I knew how devoted she is to him. I've told you that I impregnated Kim on purpose, and that she willingly accepted my decision. But the truth is that it was a rash, spur-of-the-moment impulse. I never gave her the option of saying 'no'. We were having sex. I was inside her. She warned me that she wasn't protected and that she was in the middle of her cycle, and all I did was tell her that everything would be alright and fire away. Not her choice. Mine. My fault. And now here we are."

"It's not your fault that her dad locked her up in the house and won't let her out. It's not your fault that he's keeping you away from her."

"He's keeping me away from her because he wants more for his daughter than what I'd give her."

"You'd give her exactly what she wants, wouldn't you? The love and protection and White-Knighty/Heaven-and-Earth stuff?"

"But not what HE wants for HER. I suppose it's a father's prerogative to want what's best for his child, and in his eyes that means marriage ... devotion..." I sighed and let my shoulders sag, adding mournfully, "fidelity."

Sasha frowned at the way I stressed that last word. "Something else he said?"

"Something else I did." I snorted and looked up at the view again. "Something WE did, actually."

"We did?" she asked in confusion.

"He found the sex tape. Or more accurately, Mike found the sex tape. You know the one I'm talking about."

"And showed it to his DAD?"

"I guess so. It's not really important how or why he did. The point is that he did. And let's just say that Mr. Fukuzaki doesn't exactly want his daughter being the unmarried baby mama to a guy whose penis is on the internet. Doesn't want his grandson being asked awkward questions in the schoolyard about his, quote, 'porn star father'."

Sasha made a face. But after a moment's thought, she sat up straight and said, "It's not THAT bad."

"It's not GOOD, either. Doesn't exactly cast me in the best light."

"A youthful indiscretion. Nothing in that video says that you'd be a bad parent to his grandchild."

I shook my head. "He'd probably disagree with you, but really it doesn't matter. In the course of explaining to him that Kim and I are actually on the same page about not getting married to each other, I admitted that I do eventually want to marry someone else. He really doesn't like that idea, being married to my true soulmate while HIS daughter sits on the sidelines and raises our kid for me. Even though Kim and I know that is exactly what she wants, it still doesn't sound good when you say it like that."

"I suppose."

"Plus, Kim admitted that she's bisexual, and I think that's made him even more emphatic about keeping her home where he can watch over her. Her bisexuality doesn't sit well with him, and he blames me for being an enabler for such improper behavior. I tried to tell him that if he truly values Kim's happiness, then he needs to respect the way she wants to live her life, and acknowledge the possibility that I'm in the best position to let her do that."

"You are."

"But again, he's her father. He insists that she's too young to KNOW the best way to live her life, to understand that HIS way is the best way to live her life: monogamous, heterosexual, and married." I took a deep breath and gave Sasha a serious look, one filled with a lifetime of pain after what I'd gone through with Dawn.

She saw the hurt in my eyes and blinked in confusion.

I sighed and finished, "After all, how can a young woman truly know what she wants for the rest of her life when she's only experienced so little? How would YOUR life have turned out if you'd stayed with Rod and never hooked up with me?"

Sasha frowned at me bringing up her ex-boyfriend, but I'd started looking away to stare off at the horizon.

"How would MY life have turned out if Dawn had stayed with me?" I mumbled before glancing back at her.

Sasha raised her knees up and hugged them, looking thoughtful.

I sighed. "And how can Kim be certain that I'm what she wants if she's never experienced another? Because the truth is, I'm the only man she's ever slept with."

Sasha blinked. "Really?"

"Long story. I didn't know it myself until her dad told me today. I took Kim's virginity."

Sasha whistled.

"Maybe he's right. Maybe Kim deserves to find her Mr. Right, a man that will give her the care and protection she needs AND love her as a wife. Am I really so selfish as to deny that to her? Have I really been so inconsiderate as to make her an unwed mother at the age of 21 without giving a known submissive the option of waiting to have kids with a husband who will love her the way she deserves? I know she loves me right now. I know she believes she'd be happy for the rest of her life being unmarried and yet by my side while we raise a son together. And maybe she would be. But the fact is: she HASN'T known a life with any other boyfriend. She HASN'T had the opportunity to discover a life beyond me. And given that I KNOW that I don't love her in 'that way', how could it possibly be fair to her to trap her into a life as a second-class concubine?"

Sasha's eyebrows popped. "Did he really call her that?"

"What?"

"'Second-class concubine'."

I shook my head. "No. Just thought of that right now."

She frowned. "Is that what YOU really think of her?"

"Of course not. But in a way, is it really such an inaccurate description? Never married. Not my wife. Still have sex with her."

"You're trying to belittle your relationship with her, only moments after explaining to me how special it really is despite the lack of formal title." Sasha sat up straighter and stared at me intently. "Why? You've told me a lot about how you and Kim feel about each other, and a few things about what was actually said between you and her dad. But you went down there with an ultimate purpose: to talk him into letting you back into Kim's life. Well?"

"Well what? You mean: Is he going to let me back into Kim's life?"

Sasha merely popped her eyebrows and gave me a 'well, duh' look.

I took a deep breath and stared at her with a wistful expression. "She's having my baby."

Sasha frowned. "That's ... not an answer."

I shrugged and replied, "And I promised I'd be there for her."

Sasha's frown deepened, and now she arched an eyebrow. "That's not really an answer either."

I sighed, pulled my right foot up onto the bench and dropped my forearm onto my upraised knee. Tugging absentmindedly at my fingers, I collected my thoughts and eventually raised my eyes to meet Sasha's gaze. And shaking my head slowly, I replied, "No. He told me to leave and never come back, even AFTER the baby is born."

Sasha gasped and covered her mouth.

I shrugged. "Can't be all THAT much of a surprise after all the negative things I've just told you about our conversation."

"Still ... I mean ... Kim still LOVES you. You said she just ran up and kissed you the moment you arrived, right?"

I nodded.

"Can he DO that to her?"

I shrugged. "He's her father; of course he can. Now the matter is clearly not finished yet. This was one conversation, and even though it didn't end the way I would have hoped, well ... a lot can happen in the future. Maybe he shut me down today but after sleeping on things he'll start to come around. Maybe our conversation will stimulate conversation between him and her, and maybe SHE'LL convince him to change his mind. Bottom line, though, is that no matter what anyone says about Kim being a submissive and following the orders of those around her ... she's her own human being. She's a capable young woman. If I tell her to come to me, and her father tells her to stay with him, in the end it's HER choice."

Sasha mused on that. "I guess..."

I sighed. "I believe that she's desperately searching for some way to keep us both. She knows that if she defies him and leaves the house to be with me, she could damage her relationship with him forever. But by staying with him and working things from the inside the way I already KNOW she's capable of doing, she might change his mind. In the meantime, I'm more likely to wait around for her and wait for the time when she's able to be with me again."

Sasha mused on that. "I guess..."

I sighed. "That is ... IF she'll want to be with me again."

"Of course she will."

"Will she? Because again, I'm the only guy she's ever truly known in that way. A lot can happen in the future. And maybe ... just maybe ... she'll find someone else. Maybe she deserves to find someone else. Because after all, if I'm capable of being away from her for months and months, drowning in Tri-Delt sorority girls and living the good life without making MORE of an effort to get myself back into her life ... well what does that say about how much I truly care about her, huh?"

"You DO care about her. You committed to taking care of her."

"Psht," I snorted. "I 'said' I would. In practice, I haven't done diddly squat. Hell, I've taken Paige to more OB/GYN visits than I have Kim."

"But if her father DID let you back into her life, or – heaven forbid – if something happened to her father that meant he wouldn't be able to take care of her anymore, you'd step up, wouldn't you? No hesitations?"

I shrugged. "In a heartbeat. She's carrying my child."

"Then stop beating yourself up for now. There's nothing you can do. It sucks, I know. I've been beating myself up all day about Elyse. But there's nothing -I- can do about HER right now. It doesn't mean we don't care. It doesn't mean we're horrible people, no matter how horrible we might feel. It just ... is."

I sighed and dropped my forehead down to the arm still perched on my knee. "I just feel so ... helpless."

"I know. Me, too."

"I don't LIKE feeling helpless," I growled as I picked my head back up. "I always feel like I have to DO something to make things better, to take action to rectify what's wrong. It felt AWESOME to take down Rutledge after what that bastard did to Peyton. And it felt GOOD to bring Elyse in off the streets. But you're right: Elyse is gone. Kim is gone. Fuck, DJ and Brooke are gone. And I feel like there's nothing I can do to help ANY of them!"

Sasha smirked and reached out to caress my cheek. "Sounds like you need a Tri-Delt or three to take your mind off things."

I snorted and shook my head. "The harem's over, remember?"

Sasha shook her head. "The charter may be off the wall, but that doesn't mean the girls wouldn't be there for you if you wanted. But you're right: they're not here right now. I am. And I've got just the solution."

I frowned and arched an eyebrow. "Are you seriously suggesting we just go back to the house and have sex as a form of distraction?"

Sasha smiled warmly at me before glancing back toward the parking lot and turning her smile into a smirk. "Actually, no, not yet. The sun's about to set, so I'm suggesting that we walk over to the railing, you hold me in your arms and nibble on my neck while we watch it go down, and then we hop in your car and drive to a little place I know."

Both eyebrows went up. "A 'little place you know'?"

Sasha grinned. "You'll see."

8:41 PM

// I'm on tonight and my hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel it's right

// The attraction, the tension, don't you see baby this is perfection

Turn, turn, back, duck, back, copa, back, spin-check!, spin-back, swap, back, and grin.

Sasha giggled and got into the groove of the salsa beat while Shakira wailed on about her hips not lying. Meanwhile, I continued leading her as best I could throwing in whatever I could think of, dredging up half-forgotten moves from my ballroom dance class, a few of which probably weren't even salsa moves.

Not that Sasha minded. No matter how poor my lead, she effortless flowed into each move like she was born to it. Even when I screwed up, she somehow managed to make me look good by pulling off some twist or turn one way or another as if doing what I'd meant her to do all along.

// Hey girl, I can see your body moving and it's driving me crazy

// And I didn't have the slightest idea until I saw you dancing

// And when you walk up on the dance floor, nobody can ignore the way you move your body, girl

// And everything so unexpected – the way you right and left it, so you can keep on shaking it

Sasha was shaking it. She'd been shaking it ever since we got here. Never mind that she wasn't wearing dance shoes, or that we were both quite casually dressed for a Saturday night in a ballroom dance club. Her hips still made that spring skirt move like it was a living thing, and the combined beauty of her face, body, and physical movement had half the place staring at her in rapturous awe. She was THAT good.

// I never really knew that she could dance like this. She makes a man want to speak Spanish

// Como se llama, bonita, mi casa Shakira, Shakira

Of course I'd known she was a dancer, but there's a big difference from doing a solo jazz routine on stage or spinning from aerial rings and partner-dancing a salsa in a Berkeley club. Still, it was no real surprise that she could move so expertly on the dance floor, and for almost an hour we'd been burning the floor almost non-stop. It was all I could do just to keep up.

But keep up I did. I may have only taken a semester's worth of ballroom dance classes, but it's kinda true what they say about sex and dancing: if you know how to move, you know how to move.

Plus, it would be too embarrassing to fail.

Of course, it really helped that Sasha was so good at what she did. Waltz, Tango, Foxtrot: it didn't matter, she excelled at it. Swing, jive, and even a Lindy hop, she had it down (although I sometimes didn't). Cha-cha, rumba, and of course, the salsa, Sasha could do it all, and do it well.

She was kind enough to not make fun of me, and even encourage my rudimentary leading. I had a spontaneous ballroom dance class right there on the floor, while she reminded me of half-remembered moves and taught me a few brand new ones. We'd dance our asses off, take a song off to gulp some water and rest our feet, and jump right back in.

Like I said, we weren't the most well-dressed couple in the club. A few guys had dressed to the nines with tuxedo tails and ties, and a few girls were in what looked like competition dresses. But I can state with confidence that nobody was with a date as smoking hot as mine, casual skirt and blouse or not. And certainly there was no more affectionate couple on the floor than us.

Sasha kept stealing kisses from me every chance she had, and I gave as I good as I got. Pre-dance, post-dance, and even mid-dance she'd find a way to lock lips with mine, just short pecks before backing away, and her hands strayed down to my ass more than once. The evening started off with the more formal ballroom styles, but as the minute hand ticked on, the song choices moved into swing and finally to Latin, and by the time we got to that Hips Don't Lie song Sasha was practically oozing sex appeal.

Our sweaty bodies wrapped around each other as we moved, grabbing and groping and writhing together on the floor. She looked at me like every step she took made her hornier and hornier, to the point where it felt like she wanted to MOUNT me right there on the dance floor whenever our faces came within inches of each other. And while I knew it was Shakira singing the next lines, it was Sasha's voice coming through to me.

// I don't, don't really know what I'm doing, but you seem to have a plan

// My will and self-restraint have come to fail now, fail now

// See, I'm doing what I can, but I can't so you know that's a bit too hard to explain

// I'm on tonight and my hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel it's right

// The attraction, the tension, don't you see baby this is perfection

And then her tongue was in my mouth. The singing itself had ended, Shakira's voice fading away with that last line about this being perfection. But the brass horns and bass kept going, busting out their fanfare as if cheering on our kiss. With one leg wrapped around my hips and both arms wrapped around my neck, she kissed me with a frenzied passion that made me start to wonder if she really WOULD mount me right there on the dance floor. This wasn't a short, teasing peck; it was a full on SMOOCH. But as the music faded away, our ears picked up the sounds of actual applause surrounding us, and cracking an eyelid open, I peeked out to find a couple dozen people in a circle around us, grinning and clapping from only a few feet away.

"Woo-hoo!" somebody hollered while somebody else let out a cat-call whistle.

Blushing furiously, Sasha and I separated our lips but clung to each other for support. We turned and grinned at each other, and out of breath I took her hand and led her off the dance floor while the next song was already starting up.

"Take a break?" I asked, still panting.

Sasha gulped for air and shook her head in the negative. Her skin flushed and her forehead dotted with sweat, she squeezed my hand and urged, "Take me home."

9:09 PM

"Bye guys. Have fun tonight," Peyton said with a smug grin, her green eyes dancing as she took one final look at us. Sasha and I were standing in the doorway, our bodies practically melded together from shoulder to knee and an arm wrapped around each other's waist.

"Bye," we replied with waves for Peyton, Annette, and Natalee as they headed down the sidewalk. "Thanks again for house-sitting."

"Anytime," Peyton assured us. She looked like she wanted to add something else, but her eyes flicked to Sasha for a moment before she swallowed her comment and turned away. "See you later."

In another minute, the BMW 5-series pulled out of the driveway and headed up the street. We watched it go for a little while, at least until the brake lights came on as it came to the first stop sign. But that was the last I saw of it as Sasha bolted into the house, dragging me by the hand after her so hard that I barely had time to reach out and fling the door shut behind us.

Pulling hard, Sasha yanked me up the stairs and into my bedroom before she spun around and slammed into my chest. Once again her arms were wrapped around my shoulders and her leg around my hips as we found the same smooch we'd left on the dance floor. Only this time there was no applause, only the roar of my own heartbeat as blood and adrenaline raced through my veins while my hands dug beneath the hem of her blouse and up her naked spine to stroke her back.

From the beginning it was clear that Sasha would take charge of this encounter. It wasn't about me working my Sex God magic to give her pleasure tonight, but about her working off her extreme arousal and doing something about the overabundance of energy roiling inside her. She bunched up the front of my shirt in her hands and practically flung me around so that the back of my calves hit the foot of the bed. She yanked my shirt over my head hard enough that it actually stung for a second when the material bunched up under my chin. Once I was topless, she abruptly shoved me in the chest so that I fell backward across the mattress. And before I even knew it, my pants were around my ankles and my cock was halfway down her throat.

"Awww ... shit, Sasha!" I groaned as she went to work, going from zero to sixty in no time flat. Licking my knob, Sasha massaged my mushroom head with her lips for a moment while jacking the shaft with both hands. And then she planted her palms on my thighs while ducking her head to shove me back down her throat, gagging herself audibly while trying to cram the rest of me in before pulling back and wetly gasping for air before starting over.

"You don't have to--" I began before she jerked a hand through the air between us to cut me off.

Pulling off my dick, she stared up at me with those big brown eyes and growled, "I'm gonna do this. Tonight! Okay?"

The intensity in her gaze and the roughness in her voice brooked no dissent, and I didn't respond in any way. Bowing her head, Sasha went back down on me, slurping and sucking with abandon to maximize my pleasure while simultaneously gathering herself for her next deep-throating attempt. And when she tried again, she once again got about halfway before gagging and backing up.

It was less than a month ago when I woke up to the almost routine sensation of shoving my dick an inch into a girl's throat and found, to my surprise, that it was Peyton Kent gagging on my cock for the first time. I remembered believing at the time that my morning fellatrix was actually Sasha, due to her rudimentary blowjob skills compared to Andie and Jamie.

Well she wasn't performing like a novice any longer. Weeks of Tri-Delt instruction and repeated practice on yours truly had already shown that Sasha had the potential to be really, really good. But even so I was completely unprepared for the energy and gusto with which she attacked my cock right now. Right hand, left hand, both hands, and the tight suction of her mouth took turns surrounding my shaft, pumping up and down with complete and utter abandon. Her tongue slithered along my nerves, teasing and titillating and tweaking my senses so that all I could do was lie limply across my bed with my arms flung wide and let her have her way with me.

Over and over again she kept trying to deep-throat me. Over and over again she came up just short. But she kept trying and despite her audible discomfort each time she gagged, the wet sounds were erotically exciting in a way, making my rod stiffer and amplifying the mental pleasure assaulting my brain.

And then she did it.

Abruptly, I felt Sasha's lips press down around the base of my cock, the full length of my shaft imbedded in the tight constriction of her esophagus. She hummed at full depth, her entire throat vibrating against my sensitive skin, and I very nearly lost my load then and there.

But I didn't, and I had just enough presence of mind to pick my head up and gawk at the sight of Sasha staring back at me with her face completely stuffed by my manmeat. Her dark mascara was running down her cheeks from her tears, but there was no mistaking the triumphant pride in her eyes at accomplishing her goal.

Of course, she couldn't last long. She had to breathe, after all, and she abruptly gagged and backed off my prick. For the first time since she'd started, Sasha took a break from blowing me as she rested her forearms on the mattress and gasped for oxygen, staring at me with a silly grin. And buoyed by her enthusiasm, I reached down to hook my hands beneath her armpits and hoist her up on top of me while I brushed her bangs back from her face and tilted her jaw to meet my kiss.

"Mmm ... I love you so much..." Sasha hummed between lip-locks, her eyes closed as she continued smooching me.

"I know," I replied with a smile. "I can tell. Thank you for that."

She giggled. "I can't believe I finally DID it! I almost wish Andie and Jamie were here so I could show them."

"Ha!" I chuckled and shook my head. "Not important right now. Right now I want to give your jaw a break. I think it's my turn, no?"

"'No' is right," she replied with a big grin. "No. I want this monster IN me."

"As you wish," I replied with an equally big grin.

Sasha's hands were already between us, her right hand jacking my prick while she dug into the waistband of her skirt with her left. Planting her knees on the mattress to either side of me, she re-positioned her left hand in front of her like a tripod and elevated on her feet to tug her skirt and panties both off with her right hand. Once they were out of the way, she kneeled again astride me and took my cock in hand once more. And with her dark eyes glittering and her lower lip quivering, she centered me into position and sank her body down.

"Ohhhh..." she moaned rapturously as I filled her up. With her eyes closed, she lowered herself all the way down. And once she was fully seated, she placed her hands on my chest and smiled before opening her eyes and gazing down at me adoringly. "Hey there," she said, as if seeing me for the first time.

"Hey there back," I replied with a warm smile.

She rolled her hips once, experimentally, and felt the way my cock carved out her insides. With a sigh, she murmured, "I don't know why I don't take the top position more often. I love this feeling of sitting on you like this."

"I think it's because you usually love feeling me crush you into the mattress even more, but I wouldn't mind it if you wanted to be on top more frequently in the future." I reached up and began unbuttoning her blouse, starting at the bottom and working my way up. "It would mean I'd get to play with these babies more often."

Sasha giggled and preened while I opened up her blouse from throat to tails and finally flipped the front-catch on her bra. Once released from their restraints, her big bosoms popped forward and pushed aside the bra cups as if opening a set of double-doors. And as her dusky rose nipples called to me, I sat up to take one into my mouth.

"Mmm..." Sasha sighed as I nursed at her breast, cradling my head in her arm. She let me switch and suckle at the other one before tilting my chin up to meet her next kiss. And when we parted for air she pushed me back down to the mattress while planting her hands on my chest for leverage to go for a rolling ride on my pole.

Besides the spectacular view of Sasha's big tits in my face, another nice benefit of the Sasha-on-top position was her dancing skill. She really knew how to use her hips on the dance floor, and she put that skill to use right now, rhythmically shifting her weight as if gyrating to some unheard music and really working my cock with her inner muscles with pinpoint control.

"So good," I crooned, reaching up to palm her tits while grimacing from the pleasure she was giving me. "You're fucking me so good."

"Take it, my lover. Let me show you how much I love you. You've given me so much physical pleasure this past year, and now it's my turn to give some back. And even more than the physical pleasure, let me love you. Let me stay by your side even after graduation. Let me do this with you every night. No more hesitation. No more fighting to keep my emotions in check by limiting myself to only Thursdays. No more forcing myself to not cuddle in a futile effort to not get used to the wonderful bliss of falling asleep in your arms every night lest I cry myself to sleep on the nights I don't get to be with you. No more."

I blinked and opened my eyes, staring up into Sasha's face as she continued to ride me. With a frown, I studied her face as she now looked at me with a little uncertainty, and with a little fear. And brushing a long lock of her dark hair back and behind her ear, I asked, "You were holding back from me?"

Breathing heavily even though we weren't moving very fast, Sasha bit her lip and averted her eyes for a moment. But she didn't stop fucking me, keeping her hips rolling in an unhurried counterclockwise motion that was more than enough to keep me hard despite the sudden injection of uncertain emotion into our coupling. "I had to," she said quietly. "I've always had to."

"But why?"

"Because it would have hurt so much more if I didn't!" she pouted, the sudden intensity in her voice accompanied by a few seconds of more aggressive fucking. But she quickly slowed back down as she took a deep breath, and when she focused on me again her voice was much calmer as she explained, "I knew I was falling for you from the beginning of the semester after I broke up with Rod. I told myself it was rebound behavior and that I shouldn't get carried away by my emotions. But it was just so nice getting to know you better and seeing the man behind the legend. It was too much fun to flirt with you and to daydream about becoming your girlfriend. But then one day I opened my eyes and realized just how special you and DJ were to each other, and I practically ordered myself not to be infatuated with you anymore. But it was hard, and I was horny, and even when you got together with DJ, the opportunity came for me to make a move on you and I did, and I've been on this inevitable, unstoppable ride ever since."

"'Inevitable, unstoppable ride'? You're gonna have to explain that one."

Still slowly rolling her hips, Sasha nodded. "In the beginning, I told myself that it was just the orgasms talking. You made me feel pleasure in a way I'd never experienced before, in a way I'd never dreamed before. I seriously didn't know sex could possibly be that GOOD, and once I had you, I was addicted. I think Paige said it best: that I wanted to make sweet passionate monkey love to you until your semen started leaking out of my pores. But that was just in the beginning."

"What do you mean?"

"At first it was the rebound infatuation. Then, it was the horniness after discovering GOOD sex for the first time." She paused to take a deep breath and sighed. "I think the actual falling in love part – the TRUE falling in love – only happened after I moved in with you, while all the Tri-Delts were around."

"You fell in love with me while the Tri-Delts were around?"

"I know, crazy, huh? I didn't want it to happen. I believed that it shouldn't happen. I mean, you're a man-whore, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop calling me that."

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Sasha was instantly apologetic and she bent over to kiss me. I held her head for an extra second, keeping our liplock going before letting my hands stroke down her naked spine and rub her skin with my palms while feeling her big tits crushed against my chest. But eventually I let her go and she sat up, still looking sorry. "I'll stop, I promise."

I smiled and nodded.

She sighed and continued her explanation. "The point is: you'd think it would be the worst situation to fall in love with a guy: while he's building a harem of sorority sluts to service him at the drop of a hat. And yet I did."

I blinked. "Apparently."

"It was the little things, like the way you handled a very unique situation with this whole Tri-Delt West thing. I can't think of a single other man who could have handled it, period. Either they'd get overwhelmed and the girls would end up totally dominating him, or he'd find some way to piss a girl off and cause the whole thing to collapse. But you didn't."

I frowned. "Tri-Delt West IS over now."

"NOW ... What really put a sock in it was Elyse's arrival, and what, I'm supposed to have a lesser opinion of you for taking her in and giving her safety and shelter?"

"Well..."

Sasha shook her head. "Maybe it was because of the time we spent together outside of the house. Yeah, the Tri-Delts were always around inside, but at class and walking back and forth across campus ... it was just you and me. We've spent a lot of time talking just you and me these last few months. You call me your 'constant', after all."

"You have been. My closest friend."

"And you've been mine, and even more. That's when I could feel myself falling for you again. And that's when I told myself not to ... again. I didn't want to try and monopolize you, or fight for your attention. That wouldn't be fair to the other girls, but at the same time, I knew I was on a slippery slope. In the beginning I spent more than one night a week with you, and I was sooo perfectly content to cuddle with you all night and feel your warm body wrapped around mine. But ... well ... I hope you can understand: I've got some severe abandonment issues."

I blinked, and for the first time, I stopped fucking her. "Oh, Sasha. Your parents. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. What they did isn't even remotely your fault. You've done the exact opposite they did. You've welcomed me into your circle of friends. You've welcomed me into your home. And it's through you that I've made such good friends with the Tri-Delts. But at the same time, I HAVE to always be wary of the idea that I could lose it all. If I fell hard for you, and if you rejected me ... well ... I'd be alone again."

She choked up at the end there, and I quickly sat up to enfold her in a hug. Clutching my back, Sasha shuddered for a moment and buried her face into the crook of my neck. But after a deep breath, she gathered herself and sat up straight once again. "It's okay. I'm okay."

I remained sitting up with her, my arms wrapped around her back while I stared her in the eyes. "I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

"I know that now. But before ... I couldn't be sure. I was falling in love with you, but you ... well ... you always told me that you couldn't return my feelings."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be. I understand." She sniffled and took a deep breath. "But that's why I always tried to hold myself back. Tried not to fall in love with you. Tried not to get too attached or too used to the wonders of being so intimate with you. Because I always knew in the back of my head that someday it could all go away. And I don't think I could bear that happening to me again."

"It won't. I'm here."

"You're here now..." Sasha now looked at me with fear in her eyes again. "But will you be here tomorrow? Or the day after that? Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe we shouldn't get into a relationship. Because again, if we do and this doesn't work out ... where will that leave me then?"

"I won't leave you. I have no intention of leaving you. Hell, I just gone done telling you today that I want to explore and find out what we can be together. But even IF we discover that maybe that kind of a relationship isn't quite right for both of us, I'm still your friend. I'll always be your friend."

Sasha blinked and gave me the saddest look I'd ever seen from her. "Until maybe you won't be my friend anymore. I may not be the most experienced girl in town, but I have seen what's happened to some of your other girlfriends. Where's DJ right now? Where's Kim? And where's Dawn right now? How do I know that won't happen to us?"

I pursed my lips and shrugged. "You don't. I don't. And yes, that's the very reason why -I- haven't wanted to start any relationships with anybody. I've gotten my heart broken more times than I care to think about, and I've just barely turned 22. But maybe that's because I've put way too much pressure on those relationships to last forever, to be sooo intimate to the point of marriage and children and family. I think that maybe it's time I had a relationship that DIDN'T have so much pressure on it, that didn't have the weight of such expectations. And maybe I can have that with you. I'm not saying that marriage and family is completely out of the question, if that's what you want to have someday. But I'm saying that I don't need that sort of stuff right away. I'm saying that I'm okay with being a 22-year-old college student still finding his way through love. And I'm saying that I'd like to find my way with you."

Sasha blinked rapidly again and smiled nervously. "With me?"

I smiled warmly. "With you."

Sasha smirked and arched an eyebrow. "Not with Peyton?"

I popped my eyebrows. "Peyton's great, and she's sexy as hell, but we're not right for each other and we both know it."

Sasha pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows. "Not with Andie?"

I grimaced. "I like Andie. A lot. She's my cutie, and she's devoted, and yes, I know she's in love with me too. But ... well ... she's not YOU. She's not my constant. And as fond of her as I am, I just don't ... It's sad, but I don't feel the same way about her. But I DO feel that way about YOU."

Sasha beamed now. "You do?"

I nodded. "I do."

And then I was suddenly on my back again as Sasha loomed over me with her tits crushed against my chest and her tongue sticking down my throat. Having never exited her pussy, my cock was already in place when she started working her inner muscles to squeeze and caress my manhood. What little bit I'd softened during the conversation I regained almost immediately, and moments later Sasha's circular grinding turned into up and down humping. And as I slid my hands down her back to grab hold of her buttcheeks, Sasha moaned and moved her lips over to my ear.

"I want you to fill me again," she crooned huskily. "I want to feel your hot, sticky cum spraying down my insides and stuffing up my cunt. I want to feel your heat seeping into my body until I'm practically drowning in your spunk. Cum in me, please? Pretty please? I'll do anything if you let me feel that, because there's nothing in the world I want more right now than to feel you absolutely explode deep inside my body and fill my senses with the power of your cream. Fill me, please! Fill me! Fucking FILL ME!"

And then I was filling her. While I thought her blowjob had gone from zero to sixty in no time flat, the way she pulled my ejaculation out of me wasn't much slower. One minute I was deflating ever so slightly from the emotional intensity of our conversation, and the next she was humping her body on my cock so hard and so fast that it made her earlier deep-throating attempts seem tame by comparison.

"FILL ME!" Sasha screamed as I felt the first wave of hot lava erupt from my upright prick.

"FILL ME!" Sasha she screamed again as I groaned and blasted out another load.

"FILL ME!!!" Sasha howled to the ceiling as she threw her head back, all while holding my head in her hands and shoved it into her cleavage while she rabbit-humped me and thrashed about in her own climactic fury.

And then we collapsed, my neck sore as I only belatedly realized I'd been holding my head up to keep my face pressed against her tits. Sasha's body went limp like a rag doll's atop my body as her arms splayed out to the sides and her face dropped into the bedsheets. And as my chest heaved from the effort of replenishing my body's lost supply of oxygen, I cradled her body in my arms and grinned the happy grin of well-fucked satisfaction.

"Fucking hell I'm so much in love with you, Ben..." Sasha wheezed, panting for breath with her forehead still on the mattress.

I smiled, stroked her back, and took a deep breath. With one final sigh – and a mental 'to hell with it' – I said what came naturally. "Well ... I think I'm in love with you, too."

To her credit, Sasha didn't freak out at my admission. Instead, she merely turned her face to me and smiled, a deeply-satisfied expression on her face. And after leaning forward and pecking my lips, she set her head back down and sighed dreamily.

Just then, the door cracked open with a squeak. Too worn out for the moment, neither Sasha nor I jerked in surprise, although we both looked over curiously to see who had arrived.

Andie poked her head around the corner. It took a moment for her to zero in on us, but once she did her face lit up into a brilliant smile. And with a twinkle in her eye, she asked buoyantly, "Is this a private party? Or is there room for one more?"

Umm ... shit.