Chapter 23

Ever since Mistril woke up, Legolas found it vital to spend most of his time with her. The changes in her personality were very subtle but Thranduil had his eyes on her at all times. It was during a particular silent day when Mistril wandered around the forest that she heard the sound of footsteps followed by a noise that she knew well. She caught the weapon with ease and noticed that it was one of the daggers she received from Faervel. 

"Just because I am clean of Sauron's dark magic does not mean that I forgot my training." She commented turning towards her attacker. She bit her lower lip and didn't know exactly how to act now that she had Thranduil in front of her. 

"You're spending more time outside, in the forest than inside the Halls." He stated, walking closer to her. Mistril didn't move an inch and waited for him to stop right in front of her. They were so close to each other that Mistril couldn't quite control her expressions. She knew that she was not able to hide her feelings for him anymore; they were already filling her soul and body. 

"Are you getting lonely?" She asked, laughing at her little tease but Thranduil was not amused. "I heard from Gweluven that Lady Galadriel will soon destroy Dol Guldur so that whatever remnant of darkness inside will fade away. The group that Celeborn sent over seems to give hope to wood elves but also remind them that they have to leave soon."

"What are you going to do now? Will you return to Imladris?" the Elvenking asked in a voice that Mistril had rarely heard from him. He was soft and curious, which was a complete opposite of the coldness he expressed towards her in the past. "You do know that I can hear your thoughts." He added with a raised eyebrow. 

"You shouldn't. I didn't open this connection to you for that."

"Then why did you open it? Why with me and not Glorfindel or Legolas?" 

Mistril's eyes widened slightly at the intensity in his orbs. It was just as if his next decisions will be taken according to her answer. Knowing that there was no backing away now, Mistril used her courage in front of death and did something unexpected: she kissed him. It was a surprise for both of them but Mistril kissed him on the lips in the most innocent way. It was a contrast to how dangerous she was as the Shadow. But he didn't step away, by contrary, he pulled her closer and deepened their interaction. Mistril was just a young elleth when she was taken and she never experienced such situations like having a crush on someone or having a date. Her heart was empty and she only had deep respect for her hero but there was nobody that had such an impact on her; nobody but the king of Mirkwood. 

When they briefly parted their lips, Mistril expected Thranduil to push her away and apologize but he did not. Instead, he kept her close by grasping her waist so that she won't be able to run. She didn't intend to anyway, she was lost in the moment. 

"I saw it in the Mirror of Galadriel. You and me...it's a relationship that will only bring pain. With or without the marks, the one that will suffer in the end is you." She said looking at his chest because she couldn't look into his eyes. Thranduil chuckled softly and caressed her cheek.

"I'm not a child, Mistril. And I'm not a man either. I had lived enough to know that not everything Galadriel shows to you will happen. It all depends on you and me."

"You were married once. You have already met your fated one and lived happily for a while. Elves can rarely fall in love for a second time." She started and looked up at him. "This is my first time, though. I cannot hide my love for you anymore and I do not want to. For the first time in thousands of years, I am in love and I have the freedom of choosing how to live. If you won't let me go, I won't be able to leave."

"And why are you talking as if you had already decided for me?" He asked and pulled her even closer to him. "Elves can rarely fall in love for a second time but it does happen. You made the first step and now it's too late to take it back. I'm not going to let you go anymore." He added and for the first time since they met, they both felt this amazing butterfly-like sensation in their bodies.

Mistril did not leave Mirkwood afterwards. Her room had been transformed into something else but Thranduil was stubborn in having her sleep with him in the same bed. Actually, the Elvenking seemed to be moving a lot faster than imagined. Legolas was happy just having her around and they would often take walks together. 

"The air seems fresh now that Dol Guldur is gone." He said and took a deep breath in. 

Indeed, a few weeks after the fall of Sauron, Lady Galadriel followed by Glorfindel and Gandalf himself destroyed the fortress. It was a fall that all the wood elves watched from afar, cheering when it finally disappeared out of sight. 

"You should have come with me to the coronation ceremony. It was an amazing feast for the eyes and of course, for the taste buds." He added with a playful glint in his eyes. 

"Did you perhaps get drunk with Gimli again?" Mistril asked in a motherly tone although she seemed to be just as mischievous as the younger elf.  

"Have I ever?" He asked innocently.

Mistril narrowed her eyes at him and smiled knowingly. 

"What's next now? Will you go traveling with the dwarf?" She changed the subject, not wanting to give out her source (Gandalf). 

"About that, I'm sure you heard me and father speak about it. I know he still sees me as his little elfling during such times but I am ready to move on. I plan on traveling, yes, but I am not sure that I will have what to return to here." 

Legolas was right in his decision. After peace settled in, more and more elves have left for the Grey Havens. It was not just about Greenwood but of all the lands. The age of men was growing closer and elves were growing tired and lonely. 

"What about you?" Legolas asked, his tone expressing his fears. He was aware she could not leave Middle earth or die so then, what will she do?

Mistril didn't answer. She crossed her arms behind her and smiled at the elven prince. There was sadness in her eyes and Legolas knew she must really think about her life in detail now that she was no longer an instrument of darkness. 

With all the bad thrown into the vast abyss of nothingness, many could go back to their normal lives. But how could someone who never had something like that know how to live any more?

----------------------------------------------------

"What are you thinking about?" Thranduil asked Mistril seeing how deep in thought she looked.

Her eyes were set upon the fire in the chimney, those beautiful green orbs sparkling in the light. It was so natural to see her without the darkness that had filled her for most of her life.

"I cannot enter Valinor." She said softly. 

"We have talked about this before. Why are you still bothering yourself with such insignificant details?" The Elvenking asked growing annoyed by her words and stubbornness. 

"Because you will have to leave Middle earth eventually. You will sail to Valinor when time comes and I will have to wave goodbye to you from the shore. Manwe was clear when he sent me back the last time. I cannot leave." 

"Then I won't either." He said confidently. It was so sweet, compared to how pissed he looked, that it made Mistril chuckle. 

"Then what? You'll stay here and whither away with me? Your soul won't be able to resist the temptation. Eventually, you will leave with Legolas." 

"Eventually," he started but he couldn't continue. He hated how powerless he was in front of the Valar, especially the God of Death. "You will have to kill me before that happens. Why are you so confident I will leave you?"

Mistril fully turned to her beloved and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly while caressing his skin lovingly. 

"You already loved to the utmost perfection and devotion, but I haven't. You are the first man I had ever fallen in love with. You cannot begin to imagine the intensity of my feelings." 

Thranduil's whole expression fell into calmness as his eyes stared into her with adoration. She was one of their kind, and not because she was one of the few Gondolindrim alive. Only she knew what she had gone through in her long life and she showed him very little of what really happened. 

"I won't leave you behind, Mistril. I will not let you suffer  through loneliness ever again. I promise you." He added, pulling her head so their forehead touched. "I love you." 

It was quite clear she was completely swept off her feet by the Elvenking and even if she still had doubts about their future, she was ready to try everything. For her, even if she were to remain all alone in the world of men, she could be happy that she had the opportunity to feel such love. 

"Legolas wants to move to Imladris." She started, changing the mood in a blink. "Many elves from all realms have left. Lord Celeborn remained in Lothlorien and the twins are in Rivendell. I guess it is more fun there for an adventurous elf." 

"The twins meddle into man's business. They visit Minas Tirith too often." 

"I want to visit the Shire. The world was saved by hobbits. I'd like to reunite with them in times of peace." She said, a smile spreading on her face unconsciously.

Thranduil rolled his eyes and leaned back, visibly not agreeing with her need to travel. She softened him up when she placed her head on his lap, closing her eyes in comfort.

That was how she ended up actually leaving for the Shire. It wasn't as long as she imagined and the sights were amazing. She had been there before, under other circumstances, but now she knew four brave hobbits. 

It wasn't hard to find out where Frodo Baggins lived. But many hobbits stopped to stare and gawk at the elven warrior. They could see through her elegant clothing that she was not someone to stay and enjoy the court life but someone who liked to run. Children were the most excited.

When she knocked on the little door, Frodo was amazed to welcome someone who once intended to kill him.

"How are you, Frodo?" She started once they sat down. He offered her tea but she was fine. 

"Sam got married recently. He already has a daughter and is expecting another. Merry and Pippin have grown a lot. Merry bought a house near the Brandywine and Pippin loves to sleep over. They go outside the Shire some times but they keep a close eye on home. I believe Merry wants to be the new mayor." 

Mistril listened as Frodo continued to tell her how everybody was doing and what were their plans...but she knew what he was doing.

"That's nice but it's not what I asked you. How are you, Frodo?" She repeated. Silence filled the room as Frodo didn't say a word. Mistril felt sympathetic.

"Life continues as if nothing happened. It's...not enough for me. Peace, I mean." He finally said.

"I had met once a warrior in Mirkwood. Maerdor was his name and he was one of the most loyal swordsmen of the Elvenking. After the first war, he couldn't quite get used to life. It felt as if something was not right. He fought for his king but he didn't perish. That was the end he wanted and yet life won and he survived. He was one of the first wood elves who sailed for Valinor, immediately after." 

"I don't want to die but I feel like nothing can make me whole again. How do you feel now that you are free?" He asked, his eyes falling over her wrists.

"I feel...empty. Something is missing and I know a part of my soul vanished with Sauron. But I know the value of life and I do not want to die either." She replied looking down at her cup.

"How can we live now? We have seen so much, been through so much. Nobody can understand how it feels, to have this hole in our hearts." Frodo added, his hand reaching to his chest. 

"You're not asking the right person. I had been filled with anger and death for hundreds of years. I can finally live like a normal person and yet I feel like I would be better off dead. But we must face the future, Frodo. I'm sure our paths will be shown to us eventually." 

Frodo smiled and nodded. "What about your relationship with the Elvenking? Will you stay in Greenwood?" 

"That is indeed a problem. I am a traveler while he is a king. Staying in one place suffocates me. I am a warrior, that is all I know. I'm not sure what I can do now that I finished my life's goal." 

"I can understand that." He said with a soft smile. Those eyes of his sparkled and for a moment Mistril truly wondered how she could had ever endanger such an honest man. "Have you come to the Shire to avoid speaking to him?" 

"My, how perceptive are the hobbits." She said sarcastically but also with a tinge of amusement. "You know Frodo, love for the elven kind is not entirely like the one for the rest. An elf gives his whole life into the hands of the person he loves."

"Are you unsure of his feelings then?" He asked content not to talk about himself.

"The love he feels for me is...not as strong as the one I feel for him. He was married, he has a son...first love is as pure as life itself."

"Maybe you are overthinking. Love is love." Frodo replied looking out at the sight in the distance. "I'm sure he would do anything for you."

"That's what I'm afraid of. Rather than have him sacrifice his life, I'd prefer sacrificing my own happiness. I have lived in despair for a long time, I can do it again."

Frodo glanced at the elleth with wide blue eyes, confused how she could think like that. She was both selfish and selfless at the same time. She was scared to be happy so she was ready to give it up.

"It's silly. A bond created under constant doom, one that succeeded to last for so long, is unbreakable. He won't stop loving you if you leave."

"But he will move on. He will be free to return to Valinor and be happy there." 

"What about you?"

"My dear Frodo, my punishment has only just begun. I cannot enter Valinor or die and be welcomed into the Halls of Mandos. The dark marks may be gone but my acts of murder against my own kin remain." She said and sighed. "I'll travel. I will try and help mankind as much as I can."

Walking by herself through Hobbiton, Mistril looked at the way hobbits managed to rebuild their home. There was this ease in their smiles, an innocence in the way their eyes sparkled and laughter boomed. It was a beautiful sight and the lights coming from their hobbit holes in the night were very comforting. 

In the end, Mistril stopped and lied down on her back on a patch of grass. The sky was full of stars and the moon was shining brightly. The wind blew lightly and Mistril closed her eyes to fully feel this gentle caress of nature. She knew what she had to do.

----------------------------------------------------

Thranduil was pacing in the Halls, waiting in a very impatient way for his beloved. He was glancing at the entrance every so often but the person of interest was not yet there. 

"Why are you so worried, sir?" Faervel asked approaching his king warily. 

"I know her, Faervel. She has left before, in the middle of the night."

"And she returned at dawn. Mistril is a warrior, she had been one for longer than she was a lover. You need to have patience with her, sir." Faervel decided to defend her mostly because he could understand her. 

"I have a dreadful feeling." He started but was cut off by Mistril entering the Halls with a soft smile on her face. "Mistril! What took you so long, have you met goblins or orcs on the way?" He rushed to her just like a young boy in love. 

Faervel shook his head and chuckled to himself at his childish king. However, it was nice seeing him bother his mind with such small troubles instead of war or revenge. 

"No, it was quiet. Have you eaten yet?" She asked, her eyes gleaming under the twilight light coming from behind her. As the gate slowly closed, Thranduil couldn't help but feel anxious. 

After a dinner with the most delectable fruits and vegetables and the most exquisite wine, Thranduil retreated into his bedroom and undressed, getting ready for sleep. Mistril entered an hour or so later, when the Elvenking was already dreaming. She sat next to him and caressed his face with love. 

"You will never understand how much I love you." She whispered and kissed him. Suddenly she realized she couldn't back away. 

"I do not agree with late night farewells, Mistril." Came the broken voice of the king. He had a firm grasp on the back of her neck because he wanted to have this conversation while looking into her eyes. "I can already sense what you want to do. What makes you believe this is a good idea?" 

"This is my punishment. I have to live all by myself, with only the memory of love and friendship. I cannot ask the same out of you." 

Thranduil glared at her and pulled her even closer, their foreheads touching. They stood like that for a while, time in which Thranduil could see that no matter what he does, or what he says, she had already made up her mind. It was one of the very few times when the Elvenking of Greenwood had cried and felt so helpless. 

That night was the last of the two lovers together. One had a great destiny that was soon going to end with a final journey to Valinor. The other's destiny had only just begun and it was going to be a long, long time until their paths will cross again.