Confused

" what you said you both know each other..who's he.." Amma asked me suddenly.. and here we go..

" he's name is Eric.. and last Sunday I go to the explore this town.. when I meet a girl.. her name is Keith.. she tell me that there is underground dance and lot's of things about sports happened.. she asked to come with her.. so I just go with her there.. and than I meet one more girl her name is Bailey.. and she's good dancers.. after hanging out with them. Some boys approach us.. and than they invite us to play with them truth or dare.. and than when my turned come.. they tell me to kissed that Eric.. and like that we both meet.. and Eric than meet he's friend's with me.. and thay are so nice funny.. you all like them.. when he brought me yesterday when I know this morning that I am he's mansion. I meet he's friend's again.. and we all are hangout.. that's why I am late..." I explained everything..

" holy shit.. I mean damn.. ava.. you really kissed that Eric guy.. " Clara said to me.. and I just nodded in my head..

" how was it.." anggi said come to me.. and asked..

" well it's nothing like you guys thinking.. he's mood that time is pissed off.. and when I kissed him.. he didn't even kiss me back.. or do nothing.. when he wants.. before I just pull away.." I explained them..

" they how you meet there friends.. when he's angry that time.." Amma question.. good one.. I look at her.. and all girls are looking at me with that how is that happened..

" he's friend's are there that time so they all saw them.. and one of girl approach me.. than like this.. we all are become friends.." I lied at them. I don't wanted to but I have to.. don't have other options..

" that's cool.. so when we are meeting them.. I mean I am already excited to meet them.. and underground dancing holy shit.. we have to go there.." angi said..

" actually we can't go there.. they not allowed to academy students.. so that's why I invited them to over function.. so that I will introduce you all of them to them.." I said to them..

Ohh my god.. today's I am talking to much.. I mean I never explain anyone in my life..

" why not they allowing us to there.." jade said to me..

" yesterday when I told you about poor people.. it's about them.. they never get here admission.. when there are so talented.. so that's why they hate us.. but I convinced them to come..  hope they will come.." I said looking at jade..

" we have to do something for them.. I mean it's not our fault.. and they hate us.. we have to talk this to authorities.." jade said to us..

" we just can't.. I mean yeah we will tell them that give people equally Chance.. but we can't tell about them.. what if they will banned them.. than there only hope underground also gone.. and I don't want them.." I said..

"You are right.. but we will talk about authorities.. " Amma said..

" Amma you really didn't saw them.. they all are very good dancers.. I mean I never saw them.. they are international.. we are nothing to compare them.. I feel jealous that I am not that batter like they are. " I said in sad and low voice. 

" hyy you are god dancer.. don't think like that.. maybe they we very good.. than what we also I mean why not try it.. and about our dance.. I forget about this.. when we will start over practice young lady.. we are wasting our time.." Amma rise her eyebrows and said to me and anggi..

" we will start tomorrow morning now on.." I declare.. they nodded.. and we all chat some more..

They asked about Eric and there friends.. I tell them.. there name's.. and also tell them that I also talk about them to Eric and there friends..

They just can't wait to see them.. and I am also excited that when we all are meet them. And hangout together.. it will fun.. I know..

After that jade have date today.. so we all help jade to dressing her and do her make-up and hairs.. than said good bye.. Adam come and he take her with him.. saying good bye to us..

After that we all go to cafeteria to dinner. To grab food.. its 9o'clock in night.. so we get our food and site over regular spot..

" you know you have to saw that Max face when he got angry.. I mean he just shouting to all of them check all camera.. and than thousands time he called you.. when he know it's still going to voicemail.. he just got so worried.. looking at him that angry we all get scared.." anggi said to me.. and again we are here talking about him..

" it's all about him.. if he didn't come.. its not happen.. after that whatever happened he deserved it.." I said angrily to girls..

" I don't know but you didn't know ava.. he really care about you.. I didn't get it.. he always fight with you.. and than something happen to you.. his always the first person to just get mad and involved.. and stand by you..  it's just that he's crazy for you.. totally in to you.. " Clara said to me.

" don't pitty him girl's.. he's not like that what you think about him.." I said to them.. they all are looking at me.. and than my behind I don't know what they looking but I continue..

" he's jark.. asshole.. who doesn't know how to talk with girls.. always calling bed name's.. and insults them front of people.. he don't have heart.. he's heartless dick.. never care anyone just love himself.. girls for him only tissue pepper.. who's he just used them.. and throw them like trash.. I just hate him so much.. I want to kill him.. he never change.. he always do what he wanted.. never thinking about anyone.. I just hate him.. I hate him so much.." I burst out them.. but I don't know whatever I said to him. I didn't mean it.. I know that..

" anything else princess.." someone say behind me.. and I stop to eat.. girl's are give me sorry look.. and got up and left me..

Wow .. now I have to face him alone.. I Don't scared him.. I still site the and eat my food.. I don't care.. if he heard that what I said to him..

I mean he also know about this.. hows he.. how he treat other.. and how much I hate him when he did this..

" I asked you somethings.. anything else you want to say.. any more compliment" he said to me dangerously.. I get deep breath.. like anytime he will kill me.. he's eye's are looking at me... and I am staring he's mysterious eyes..

He's lots of thing that he hiding it.. when he see that I am observing him.. he clear he's thought..

" whatever you said about me.. you know what.. I don't care.. because I am not here to show them people that who I am.. so I don't care.. "he said me come closer to me in husky voice.. my body is shiver.. goosebumps appear.. my stomach blowing..

" if you don't care... than.. than why you here.. just get lost.. because whatever I said I mean it.." I don't know where my voice come and i snapped him..

" because it's free country.. whenever I go..whatever I do.. "he said.. same think that he told me last time..

" than go.. why here.. seems like you like my company.. wait wait.. did Max the bed boy.. dark shadow.. falling for girl like me.. who's keep insulting him.. and punch him slapped him front of people.. embarrassing him.. " I said with smirk.. I don't care what happened next but I know I am playing with fair..

" I told you before.. don't fall for me.. I am not that you thinking.." I challenge him..

" and I loved challenges.." he said to me..

" you will be regret this.." I said and getting standing up..

Why he pushing me.. and doing this.. I don't get it.. I mean what he want know.. he always know how to unknown me..

" are you scared of me.." he said me with smirk.. now why I will.. I give him a look.. I like really dude..

" we both know.. it's not true.." I said to him..

" where are you at last night.." he suddenly said.. changing the stop..

" and why I am explain to you.." I said to him folding hands in my chest.. giving him bored look..

" who's he.." he again asked next question..

" really.. we are playing 20questions here..." I said to him..

" just tell me already.." he said and come closer to me..

Again feel weak front of him.. why.. why I always feel like this.. why.

" that's none of your business.." I said to him.. and push him.. than I will turn and left the cafeteria.. the cafeteria all people are looking at us.. like they always like drama.. I hate all of people..

Reaching my dorm.. I just get sleeping pills. And sleep.. I don't want to thinking about more..

Already lot's of happening in my mind.. in my life..

It's about just month or two.. and lot's off happened... 

But good news is.. that I will still survive.. still facing it.. and didn't get weak for that..

I am think about ava.. how she managed to do it.. how she smiled when all happened with her.. she just there stand alone.. she's with us.. but she faced alone..

This time..

It's my time to do same thing..

Saving my people who's cares for me.. face the problems.. solved them... and kill them.. who will trying to hurt me or My people..

Moved on with them..

Thinking about all this.. I passed out..

After that I wake up in noon.. it's noon. I am happy that I sleep that much.. when I know I never sleep that much..

Getting up to my bed.. I clean myself.. and left dorm for food.. to eat..

Yesterday I didn't know with Max.. when I know he just wants to play with me.. like he always dose with girls..

But he didn't know that.. who's this time he's playing with..

And I am damn sure that he will regret this..

Or maybe me to.. because I know of I will fall for him.. it's to dangerous to me to go back.. love is that feeling if someone had.. they always ended up to broken heart.. and I don't want be that. .

After I know that I just kissed someone else.. I mean Eric..

It's not probably that I kissed him.. he kissed me first than I kissed him back..

I didn't event seduced him to approach me.. well I am not that kinda girls..

You didn't seduced but you also didn't tell him to stop.. when you really know that it's going to happen .

Now I am confused with my feelings.. where I am..

I like Max but I still pushing him away for me.. why.. because I don't wanted to my heart broken..

And here is Eric.. why I am kissing him.. we just meet two or three times.. and I didn't push him..

What's going on with me..

Well I know I made up my mind to don't think about Max..

That doesn't mean that I will think about Eric.. I mean used him to forget Max.. it's totally bitchy think I am doing it.. now I have to be stop all this.

Eric don't deserve it this.. he's nice guy.. I mean he's perfect guy..  I don't want to hurt him..

I have to think about it.. what to do with that both of them..

Just make distance with them.. don't more talk with them.. only talk when it's about business.. or important think.. otherwise ignore them.. don't get attached to them .

Yeah.. it will work.. maybe, maybe not.. I really have to stop to thinking about them.. or will just going to be psycho..