Chp 91 : Pursuing My True Self

Last update for this week. Another supernatural chapter because, Why Not?

Enjoy the chapter!!

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He felt nothing. His sense all turned off. Fortunately, it was not long until he finally regained control of his body, although he felt it was a bit odd.

Scratch that, it was really weird. It felt like he was in a foreign but familiar place, it was not hospital nor a any kind of room with a bed inside.

He was laying on the floor and he was glad the floor was not a cold one. His eyes were still shut.

He tried to open his eyes but it was like there was a sticky goo on his eyes. After a few tries, he finally able to open it and the first thing he saw about the place where he ended up was-- that it was colorless, shadowless, borderless, and stagnant.

Confused, was the first thing he had on his mind. Of course, he knew what this place was, but his question is, why he was here?

He has known this place like it was the backyard of his house. At least once a week, he came to this place to pursue the truth from the bank of infinite knowledge.

"Mind Library" he named the place, is the mysterious place he had since he woke up 6 years ago. He tried to find out about what this space is, who gave this thing, how he ended up with this, or why he got it. But it was still left unanswered.

He recalled the last thing he did before he ended up in this place.

The last thing he remembered was Stanley Kubrick, his proclaimed mentor was running in his direction, warning him about some malfunction in something.

It happened in a split second.

He guessed that it was the explosion spot that had a malfunction. They were late to warn him as the place suddenly exploded and thrown him out of the place.

His sight blackened, his ears were ringing, and every spot on his body was aching before he found himself passed out and wake up in this place.

He just wished Hop, the brown rabbit was okay.

He never found out why he awoke in here or how much time has passed before he woke up.

He was not the master of this place anymore, he was trapped in this place. He guessed that maybe because he passed out, he lost the master control of this place.

Waiting... waiting... waiting... shadow boxing... singing... cardio... still, nothing happened. After he didn't take it anymore, he screamed in frustration.

"Finally you feel bored, I thought I could leave you for another hour." He heard a voice behind him.

He turned his head and surprise to find a man in a wheelchair, he had a skinny body no, that would be an overstatement, he was so thin until his skeleton was visible. He was at least in his early 30s.

He had long black unkempt hair, light copper skin, and wearing a patient robe, smiling at him in amusement like he was a monkey in a circus.

However, after seeing his face, his body jerked back in surprise, "I know who you are." He whispered.

"Of course you do, you've been seeing it for the rest of this 6 years."

Silence immediately veiled them both, until Al said, "So what now? Will you take over my body now? Did my consciousness died?"

Then he looked at him like he was an idiot, "What are you talking about?" Then he smiled and shook his head, "No, what you see in front of you was just an image of your old self, and also, a failsafe program in case your mind goes awry."

"What? So you're not him?" He asked, "I don't understand any of this failsafe thing." He then muttered, looking at the man, begging him for truth.

"Then do you remember the name of the soul that has fused with you?"

"Not a clue, I tried to remember it but it was like a fog shrouding that information."

"It's a nature of the soul to conceal it, else it would give undesired effect to your undeveloped brain and psychology, such as split personality."

"Then why am I here?"

"To give you the answer." He looked at Al in the eyes.

"But you said it would give me the split personality?"

"When your soul first fused yes, but as time passed, your mind has matured and you are now ready for knowing it." He leaned back on his wheelchair.

"Then, why now?" Al asked again.

"Shits always happens right? Somehow, a seed of doubt was planted within your mind, making you think that there are two of you, one was active and one in dormant waiting to take over your body, instead of your two souls have fused."

"Is that the time when I became depressed a few days ago? That thing in the mirror was just a dream?" Al asked.

"Yes, your anxiety and fear made you having a delusion about your other-self. You should learn psychology for a while." He joked, "I am responsible for the preventive action before everything turned south. So, are you ready for the exposure?" The man asked.

Al nodded, "Tell me everything."

Two streams of light, as big as oaktree bark suddenly appeared between them.

"First thing first, let's understand few events. These two light streams represent the timeline, I call it the first and the second timeline.

In the first timeline, Jonas Brandt, your dearest father didn't run off from East Berlin, choosing to stay over there and married a German woman, then you were born." The first light stream shone brightly, revealing the picture of his father, old mother, and him.

"You grew as an unruly kid, but reformed after you are joining the National People's Army. Until something happened in 1989."

"The fall of Berlin Wall," Al answered.

He nodded, "Correct, you died by a gunshot, trying to protect the people from crossing the border from the reserved members of National People's Army who still thought that the Berlin Wall's fall was just Allies propaganda." Another scene projected from the light stream.

"The next event was your reincarnation." His next words surprised Al.

"Your reincarnation brought you far from that place. In a South East Asia country called Indonesia. Born from a happy couple, an Indonesian man with a Chinese-Indonesian woman, and you were born in 1990 with the name of Rama."

Al just stared at the picture of the man and woman who were smiling and playing with 3 years old baby. Tears fell from his eyes. He didn't recognize their face but somehow felt very familiar with them.

From a light tear, flooded the dam and now he was sobbing as the pain wrenched his heart. A few moments passed, he was able to calm down, although there were still tears that marked his face.

"Shall we continue?"

Al nodded, "So my previous name was Rama right?" The man who was using Rama's image smiled.

"Yes. Of course, not everything was a fairy tale, in 1997, a financial crisis struck Asia and South East Asia got it worse. Indonesia, which has been corrupted by its official got it the worst.

Then came inflation, an Everest gap between the rich and poor, and ethnicity conflict. Then the revolt starts, looting began and they started to rob off from the rich people and any ethnicity who they thought was rich, especially the Chinese-Indonesian.

Your mother who's a Chinese-Indonesian didn't escape their fury, and your father protects both of you with his life. Eventually, your mother and you were able to escape and she chose to immigrate to the USA where she thought she would have a good life over there. So the rest of the story, you knew it right?"

Al nodded, new memories flooded his mind. He began reminiscent of his life as Rama. He joined the business school and worked himself to death to pay his tuition because of the hellish education fee of the United States.

Despite being tired to death, he believed he would bring success to his mother but life never turned better for him.

His mother died because of breast cancer when he was 20. Their economic situation was so tight that it would be impossible for her to get an early treatment except that for him to quit school.

His mother hid the fact until it was all too late, her cancer has entered the fourth stage. In her last breath, she told him to follow his dream, and soon she joined his father in the afterlife.

Stuck with grief and guilt, he decided to end his life but he remembered what his mother said and decided to follow his old dream to become a filmmaker.

He quitted his school, go to Los Angeles on a one-way ticket from Brooklyn, and worked from the bottom, from being an errand boy, prop handler, to assistant of few directors.

Working as behind the scene crew in porn industries, to B-level movies studios, to even a TV series director.

Fortunately, he was smart enough to know how Hollywood works, it's not WHAT you know but WHO you know.

With the connection he got for the past 7 years, he finally got a recommendation and scholarship to attend USC Cinematic Arts. Until that cancer struck him.

"Done reminiscing?" Fake Rama asked.

"Yes, quite a tale." He smiled in sadness.

"Then let me continue the story." The first light stream ended and a sprite jumped out of the first light stream to the beginning of the second light stream.

"Somehow, whether it was God's grace or higher being, your soul was brought to the past. But not any past. This was a disrupted timeline, where you should have never lived past an adolescent..."

Al was taken aback, "So that means there will be 3rd timeline?"

"Wait for a moment please, we will reach there. The second timeline where Jonas Brandt ran away from East Berlin and married your mother, Avigail Ephron. But you should have died with them in an "accident" when you are 4 years old, but somehow they left you out in a daycare." Al drew a sharp breath.

"Due to anomaly, your soul was dissipating year by year as you grow up until becoming a tiny little spark and you should've died when you reached 10 years old, don't ask me why waiting for that year, we both know we didn't know the answer." He joked.

"Then that's when your future 1st timeline soul came out of nowhere, but still on the dormant position. This dormant state is what we call "fuel". What happened when a tiny little dissipating fire got splashed by a hundred gallons of fuel?"

"It burned bright," Al answered.

Fake Rama nodded, "Your soul was 2 times or even a few times stronger than normal people. It also altered you, you are stronger, healthier, smarter, etc."

Al finally understood how he got faster metabolism than anyone else and smarter, hell even he was sure his IQ was at least didn't lose to Einstein.

"And the last thing you got from fusing 2 souls is, you have unlocked an access to this." He spread his hands.

"The Mind Library?"

"You name that, but the true name is the "little piece of Akashic Records"." Al's eyes widened.

In theosophy and anthroposophy, the Akashic records is a compendium of all universal events, thoughts, words, emotions, and intent ever to have occurred in the past, present, or future in terms of all entities and life forms, not just human.

"But why it's called little?"

"Because a mere human like you could never handle the true ones, even with your eidetic memory." He smiled.

Al nodded, he at least was grateful to get access to this place. What can he say, a beggar can't be a chooser.

"Then, do you finally understand? Does it finally clear all of your doubts?" Fake Rama asked again.

Al jerked his head upward. Took a deep breath and release it. A sense of clarity soaked his body down to his DNA and cells. The truth sometimes wasn't so bad after all, his mind, body, and heart became clearer.

But he got another question, especially to this Fake Rama. How could this "program" explain everything clearly to him if he was a part of himself? Who made this program?

"My final question is, what are you? If I am Alphonse and Rama, then who made you? I remember that I had never made or design you." Al squinted his eyes at him, he was afraid that this program was sentient and in the future would take over his body.

"Cease your hostility Alphonse for I am just like a remnant memory, a failsafe program if something happens and I will be gone by the time you are out of this world. Even myself doesn't remember how I was created.

But I got a nice suggestion for you, make this place a bit nicer, a white room is bad for your health." Fake Rama joked.

Al snorted, "You got a bad sense of joke. Somehow we had that in common."

"What can we say, I am Thou... Thou art I... From the sea of thy soul, I come..." Then he dissipated as a particle of light, absorbed by his body.

"And it also talked like me..." With fake Rama's advice, he tried to change this white room into Alps Mountain Range where he was standing in a shallow river that only reached his ankle and his surrounding was a forest covered by snow and ice that glowed like it was in flame.

He didn't know for sure which part was this but he was succeeded on the first try, he finally regains control of this little piece of Akashic Record.

He wondered who gave him the second chance of this life. He tried to remember who he meet when he died as Rama. He was somehow missing something important, he felt he was talking to someone but he didn't recall it.

Or rather, didn't let him remember those events.

He tried to exit the Akashic Record, but unable to do so. Looks like his body still recuperating because of the injury of the explosion. He got much time here so he spent it reading some of the books he could get.

At least he had a change of scenery now. This Alps Mountain Range is so damn beautiful, he needed at least had to have a house with this scenery in the future.

To Be Continued...

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