clovers

chapter 8| Hibi

"It amazes me that you still manage to function with lack of rest and a hangover" Caspian muttered, quite clearly irritated by my lack of exhaustion.

The party finished around sunrise which was great since that was when I was planning on leaving. I'd woken up Caspian and naturally, he complained about not getting any rest and proceeded to start asking questions about why I had decided to wake him up at the, and I quote, 'ass crack of dawn'.

Even after I explained he didn't seem to understand my reasoning but then again he didn't seem to want to either.

"I didn't get drunk, that would've been very irresponsible and not that much help in the event of an attack" He didn't look convinced.

"You didn't even have one drink?" I snorted.

"Of course I did. I just have a stronger than average alcohol tolerance" He raised an eyebrow.

I was lying.

Dineo ended up buying me the poison in a bottle and I took a sip of victory not expecting it to hit me so hard I couldn't even hear my thoughts. The rest of the bottle was in my backpack, I'd decided to save it for a special occasion, considering how strong it was.

But it left me with a splitting headache that had me struggling to walk in a straight line hours later.

"Oh really? how many drinks does it take to get you drunk" I thought for a second before shaking my head.

"Let's just say when I get drunk I switch dialects" He narrowed his eyes at me before glancing down at the map I was holding.

"So we're here" He pointed at the large forest in between South KOS and East KOS. I looked down at the map, trying to put my eyes into focus as I was still seeing double. I nodded.

"Yup we're here"

"So what happens when we get to the East?" I blinked aggressively trying to keep my eyes open.

"I have a few friends who are going to meet up with us there. They'll be able to help you out and get you settled in" He sighed.

"You're really planning on leaving me there huh?" I sighed, not this shit again.

"Of course I am Cas, we met two days ago," I chuckled but he didn't seem to see what was funny. I gave him a pointed look "Look, it's nothing personal it's just I don't usually like to take people along with me where I'm going... I'm not very good at being responsible for people's lives and if you get hurt out there that's on me".

"You really doubt my fighting capabilities huh?" I snorted.

"It's not just about fighting Capsian, you have no idea how this land works. For one, I'm hated everywhere, I can barely walk around the block without someone trying to even out some issue they have with me" It was an exaggeration but not too far from the truth.

I'd gained an impressive amount of enemies in the past years, there was no way I wasn't going to with the way I lived. Besides it was never anything personal, it was usually an 'I need this if I want to get what I want and I'm going to have it no matter who's in the way' kinda thing, and naturally there were people in the way, people that I 'politely' moved.

"And Spades is filled with thieves and hitmen and aggressive drunks and generally bad people, there are good people too but the bad tend to overlook the good. They play dirty to get what they want" Not like I'm much different "And they aren't afraid to kill people".

"So why are you taking me deeper into Spades?"

"East is the calmer part of Spades, it's great for settling down, taking refuge, finding your people. Hey! look, maybe you might even fall in love with someone and get married"

I somehow didn't see him getting married to someone or maybe that was the side of me that was quickly developing a crush on the undoubtedly attractive man.

"I didn't come here to settle down Hibi" He snapped. I raised an eyebrow suddenly feeling a bit defensive.

"And why not? What's so bad about living a peaceful life" I bit back. He sounded so ungrateful, he didn't know what some people would give to live a peaceful life surrounded by loved ones, he didn't know what I would give to live that life.

"It's just not the life for me okay?" He grunted like he didn't want to talk about it anymore but I continued, curious as to why he felt that way.

"So you'd rather live my life huh? A life of never having a home? A life where you can't stay with the people you love for too long? The life of having a bounty on your head? A life of always running away, never staying in the same place for longer than seconds?" I sneered.

"You mean freedom?"

"I mean prison!" He turned his dark eyes to me and I felt an icy shiver run down my spine.

"You don't know what prison is" He muttered darkly. I couldn't find the words in my throat to clap back at him so I swallowed my anger.

Caspian took the initiative of walking two steps in front of me like he had the map, I didn't try to catch up with him either. Usually, when I helped people out of Hearts they were quiet the entire time, their minds still replaying traumatizing memories with PTSD as fresh as the wounds they were usually covered in from head to toe.

But as I looked at Caspian he was spotless. He looked more rugged now with the leather clothing and his messy hair but other than that his pale white skin didn't have a scratch. Physically, he looked untouched by the walls of Castle of Hearts but mentally I was not so sure.

His eyes were too dark for me to see any emotion in his eyes and all his pain seemed to come from his past rather than a simple bruise on his body. His anguish seemed to lie beneath the surface which was much more difficult as scars inflicted on the mind were much more painful to heal.