I'll be Forgiven

/Right turn—straight ahead—follow the screaming./

My breath came in short gasps and I fought hard to run as fast as I could. Wolf rumbled behind me, growling warnings and commands, but I ignored him.

There was a small window of opportunity, and I wasn't going to let him stop me. I wasn't going to be too late. Not this time. Never again.

Though I wanted to call out to them, I couldn't spare the oxygen. I needed it to run.

Faster.

Keep going.

Finally I made it. I slid on some still-wet slime and hit the ground on my hands in a push-up, the hilt of the sword biting into my palm. The room was a couple yards away and I could hear more than one voice.

Wolf chittered quietly behind me, disgruntled and miffed, but I hopped up and headed toward the door.

/I found them! I found them!/

"Someone, anyone!"

"No one's coming, Jess."

I might have collapsed from the immense relief I felt. Jess and Michelle . . . they were here. I hadn't imagined their voices, conjured them from the ether to make myself feel better.

A third, unfamiliar voice cut in. "I can't think if you keep screaming! Just remain calm. I'll figure something out."

I scrambled into the egg room where they were being held, using the wall to keep myself up. My legs were weak with relief and fatigue. I darted my gaze frantically around the room, my chest heaving from the exertion.

Then I spotted them, them all pinned against the far wall. Several shapes, even. I exhaled a plaintive whine and stumbled toward them.

"Jess? Michelle?" I called into the darkness, keeping my voice low enough to be heard only by them.

The only thing that could ruin the moment was the arrival of unwanted drones coming to investigate strange voices.

Their heads lifted. At first they were wild and frightened, but when they realized who it was, they relaxed. The atmosphere electrified with excitement; theirs and mine.

"Where the hell did you come from?" the unfamiliar voice demanded.

/Everything is going to be okay./

I should have come for them right away. It should have been the most important thing in my mind. Anderson had told me to worry only about myself, but how was that right?

Jess and Michelle were my best friends! I never should have listened to him. I should have listened to my gut.

Tears fell down my cheeks and I moved to Jess first, reaching out to her. I never should have let her hand go. I never should have left them like I did.

She was alive. I could still save her. Maybe all of them, even. I could make everything right again. If I saved them now, they would forgive me. I could forgive myself.

/Do they hate me?/

It didn't matter. I would have a lifetime of chances to make it up to them if we all got out of there alive.

"Nichole! Nichole it's you! Of fuck, oh god, you have to get us down!" Michelle pleaded.

"You're alive! Oh Nichole I was so worried!" Jess wailed.

Worried. They were worried. My heart soared and I fumbled through the darkness, taking great care to ignore the eggs in the room. I didn't want to know if they were empty or not. I didn't want to know what the chances were.

Jess strained against the crust pinning her to the wall as I approached. I glanced around and took stock of all the people in the room. Michelle, Jake, Victor, Tyler, a cop, and a few other classmates I couldn't recall. All those who were picked off by the aliens.

None of the fellow students that had been with me when I was captured.

Had they made it out? Had I been the last? Or were they still in the ship somewhere, scared and alone—or dead?

"Are you alright?" I asked Jess, using my free hand to tug at the crust with violent jerks. I had to focus on the now.

She shook her head. Her face shone with fresh tears leaving dirty streaks under her eyes, like she'd been crying for a while. "No! No I'm not! Please you gotta get me down, we have to leave!"

"How did you get out?" Michelle asked. Next to her, Jake was beginning to stir.

"It's a long story," I sighed, glancing up.

Michelle leaned forward eagerly. "But you can get us out, right?"

I nodded and pulled back to raise the weapon Wolf had loaned me. "I will but you guys have to be QUIET, ok? You think you can do that? If those things come to see what's going on and find me here it'll be bad."

Jess nodded and pursed her lips shut. Michelle nodded but didn't remain quiet long. She asked, "Where'd you get that?"

"Nichole? Jess?" Jake interrupted. I switched my attention to him and the others on the wall. There was maybe a total of four people actually awake—Tyler and Victor were not among them.

"Shh! You guys have to be quiet, okay? I'll get you all down but you have to be QUIET!"

I took a few quick steps across the room, examining everyone. I hadn't even gotten two chops into freeing Jess yet. Tyler and Victor were already dead with gaping holes, as were most of the others.

I wouldn't be able to save them all.

"Hey, kid, how'd you get out?" the police officer demanded again. I barely heard him.

Tears threatened to spill and I took a few deep breaths and pushed them away. I had to focus on Jess and Michelle and the ones that were alive.

I could help them out, and everything would be fine. Jess and Michelle were priority. I had to make it up to them.

/Everything is going to be okay./

"Kid!"

I sniffed and whirled around. "A soldier helped me escape. I've been wandering around for ages and I finally found you guys. Now please, I can get you all down but /just shut up/!" I hissed, watching the doorway for a few seconds.

There was no screeching, no sounds of drones on their way.

There was also no Wolf. I doubted that I'd been able to run faster than him, so either he was waiting out of sight or had left me to do his own thing.

As Simmons had before, I carefully picked over the people's corpses, careful not to touch any gore and trying my hardest to ignore the feeling of bile rising in my throat.

They wouldn't have dog tags, so I grabbed wallets and phones or jewelry and shoved them in all my pockets.

Jake was silent for a moment but then asked in a whisper, "They're all dead, aren't they?"

Brushing away stray tears, and turning away from the bodies, I nodded. "Yeah."

Jess choked out a sob and Michelle fought back her own tears. Jake stared at the ground below him, his eyes wide and lips parted. I closed mine and took a deep breath.

"But you guys are okay," I said.

"Alright so that's how you got out."

I turned to look at the strung-up cop while I returned to my work of freeing Jess. He jerked his head toward the weapon I was still holding.

"Where did you get that thing?"

Jess muffled a scream and Michelle wailed out a warning that made me wince. I turned, expecting to see more of the drones bearing down on us and lifted my blade higher, ready to fight.

But it was Wolf, appearing out of thin air with an electrical hiss. He grabbed me by the good shoulder and pulled me away from my screaming friends.

"Hey! Stop it!" I protested, pulling away from him.

To my friends, I said, "Shut up! Shut up, shh! It's fine, he's a friend! Quiet, quiet! PLEASE!"

Wolf held me by the chest, lifting a finger to tell me to wait. I knew what he was going to do but I didn't want him to. I didn't want to know.

I shook my head and stared him down with my best belligerent glare. "No! No, I'm getting them down! They're fine."

/Everything is going to be okay./

He paused and rotated a few inches to look at me, his head cocked to the side. The four of them clamored behind us, terrified by his presence.

"What is that thing? Kid, get away from it, just get out of here," the cop insisted.

"Nichole what the fuck?"

"Oh my god is that another alien?"

"Did you say it's a friend?"

My anger piqued and I turned on them, snarling through clenched teeth. "Shut up! You have to be fucking quiet! How many times do I have to tell you? I'll get you all down, but shut the fuck up for three minutes! Don't worry about him, okay? He's here to help."

Everyone looked bewildered, but they all fell silent.

I sighed and straightened my jacket, then brushed a stray lock of hair out of my eyes. "Kind of, anyway," I muttered.

"Kind of?" Jake echoed. His voice was thick, breathless.

Teeth grinding and head pounding, I inhaled a few times. There was nothing wrong. I was there to help, and I was going to make everything better.

We would all escape together, and this time I wouldn't leave them behind to rot.

Wolf made a quiet growl and approached me. I squared my shoulders and met his gaze evenly. "I'm getting them down. Either help me or stay out of the way. These are my FRIENDS. I have to help them." I forced every ounce of confidence I had into the words.

He shifted his weight, then took a step away. Clicking in a resigned tone, he made a sweeping gesture with his hand.

I relaxed and said, "Thank you."

"Nichole, what is that?" Jess whispered as I went to work with hacking at the crust with my blade. I was careful to keep a wide berth around her body to avoid cutting her. It was hard work: a lot of prying and chopping.

"An alien. He's been helping me and is good at killing the other ones. The bad ones," I muttered, helping Jess to her feet before moving to Michelle's side.

"Why is it helping you?" the officer asked, eyes narrowed.

Jess and I worked to free Michelle. "Fuck if I know, but I'd be dead four times over if he hadn't been around," I muttered.

Though I said he was there to help, Wolf didn't lift a hand to assist in freeing them.

Whatever, he could sit there and sulk for all I cared.

Michelle came free from her prison and I helped her stand.

She groaned and shook slime from her hands, then pulled long strands of it from her hair. "Disgusting . . ."

She always did have her priorities straight.

It wasn't long before everyone alive was freed from their confines. They were sticky and shaken, but they were out. I saved the officer for last, aware that he would use his rank to take control of the situation, even though he didn't know a god damn thing about what was happening.

I mean, I knew just a little bit more than they did, but I was the one on good terms with the alien beefcake.

However, he didn't make it a big event. "Alright kid, do you know a way off this ship? We have to move."

"No, but he might. Let me ask."

/Everything is going to be okay./

Hoping I hadn't pissed him off too bad, I took a tentative step toward Wolf. "Can you lead us off the ship? Just get us safely out—them. Even just them. I'll stay and I'll be whatever you need me to be, I promise. Just—please, please help me get them out of here."

They wouldn't make it out if he didn't help.

He regarded me for a moment, then turned his gaze toward the huddled group. Wolf lifted his hand to press a few buttons on his wrist computer, then glanced back at me.

I watched him for a second until he made a quiet, gentle trill. His head shook and he pointed at them, and then at the eggs.

"They're FINE!" I insisted.

/Simmons and Anderson weren't./

"They'll be okay, we just need to get them off the ship and they'll be okay! Please, do this for me and I'll do whatever you want."

Wolf stared at me a moment longer, then uttered a sharp sound. Shoulders squared, he headed for the exit. I watched him until he stopped at the portal, then turned and motioned for us to come.

My heart soared and I turned toward my friends. "C'mon! He'll get us off this ship."

"How do you know it's not a trick?" the police officer demanded. He had his hand on his gun and was staring at Wolf. "It's an alien. Why the hell would it help us?"

"Yeah, what if it's a trap?" Jake said.

"Nichole what did you mean you'll do whatever it wants?" Jess asked in a tiny voice.

I groaned. Every moment we spent trying to argue was another moment the drones could use to close in on us. Another moment shit could turn sideways and the fantasy I'd made for myself would shatter.

Didn't they see I was doing this for them?

"We don't have time for this. You have to trust me, okay? He hasn't done anything to hurt me and could have killed me at any time. Please can we go?"

None of them were convinced. Michelle coughed and loosened her jacket, and the others fidgeted. I looked between them all and shook my head.

/They don't trust me. I left them./

I'd have to make them trust me.

"Fine! You can stay here and try to get out on your own, or you can follow me and him to safety, but Jess and I are going!" I reached for Jess' hand and dragged her toward the door.

She put up a bit of resistance, then jogged after me.

Jake glanced around, his expression uneasy. "Nichole I really don't think—"

"Well?" I interrupted him, turning to face them. Jess trembled next to me. "This is your last chance. We're leaving."

Why were they making this so difficult? Why didn't they want me to help them? I felt like everything was tumbling out of control, that this opportunity for me—for THEM was slipping through my fingers.

Desperation clouded my mind like a drug.

Part of me felt bad for snapping at them, but I needed them to see. Needed them to believe me. Needed them to let me prove that I was a good friend!

/I am a good friend. I am a good friend./

/Everything is going to be okay./

With that, I finished dragging Jess to Wolf and stood just outside the room. The eggs inside rustled and shifted, and soon enough Jake and Michelle skirted around Wolf, cowering.

The officer emerged shortly after, keeping his arm up as if to protect them.

"Alright, stay close," the officer said. "Nichole—that's your name?—get over here."

He meant well, but I knew I was safer next to Wolf than I was him.

"I told you it's fine," I said, keeping a death grip on Jess' hand.

Still, he insinuated himself between us and our escort. I grunted a protest, but was forced away all the same. At least he wasn't trying to take the sword from me.

His hand never left his gun, and Wolf pretended not to care.

"C'mon, stay close," I murmured.

No one but me was comfortable remaining within arm's reach of him, so my friends kept falling too far behind as Wolf led us at a leisurely pace through the bowels of the ship.

The cop was always close, though, undoubtedly thinking his gun would be enough.

I couldn't fully blame them for their caution. Wolf was an intimidating specimen to be sure.

He continued to glance back at me and my friends every few minutes. He always rumbled and rattled quiet gibberish at me, but I couldn't understand. Or maybe I didn't want to understand.

There was nothing to talk about, anyway.

Jess' hand had slipped from mine around five or six minutes after we'd left their prison room. I didn't want to make her more uncomfortable than she already was, so I let her fall back.

Once they realized how helpful Wolf could be, I knew they wouldn't be so scared of him.

Though if I was being honest with myself, I was still a little scared of him. He'd survived his ship crashing, was the largest person that I'd ever met, and was armed to the teeth with acid-proof weapons. He was dangerous—but for now he was on our side.

And for now he was humoring my silly human request to get my friends safe. I wasn't sure why, but I wasn't going to question it. Not when it was all I wanted.

/Everything is going to be okay./

"Nichole," Michelle called, jogging up to match strides with me and tap my shoulder.

"What?" I asked, not unkindly.

She indicated behind us. "It's Jess."

My blood ran cold when I spotted her.