Chapter 16: Interlude: The Three Masters

But hey, for every bad review I get, I get two saying that they enjoy the story and can't wait for more. So I continue writing. Plus, I enjoy writing this story and am looking forward to what the plot has in store in the future and your reactions to it.

Not a lot of humour, but plenty of plot progression. Also, more chakra pseudo-science; it's very fun to write actually.

Warnings for swearing and capslock.

To my absolute shock, it's Toshiki of all people who accepts mine and Itachi's odd relationship the easiest and quickest.

"Oh, I thought it might be that," he nods obliquely. "Byakugan, you dolts," he responds to our stares. "I can't really explain it properly, but I can actually see your chakras reaching for each other and smoothing out. The Hyuuga have it pretty well-documented. It's...just how some people are and there's nothing inherently sexual about it."

"Thank you, Toshiki!" I exclaim. "The rest of you can get your minds out the gutter, it's a lot more common than you'd think. Why did you think Kiri, who used to get their Genin to kill each other, is full of bloodthirsty maniacs and/or nuke-nin?"

"Why don't they teach this stuff at the Academy; this is way more interesting than how to serve tea," Erumi grouches.

"Well, you can ask me all the questions you like while we help Juugo pack," I retort. Before she can open her mouth to grumble about effort, I cut her off. "If you don't complain, I'll lend you some of my notes." It works. Yay for Erumi's thirst for knowledge. "And turn out your pockets before you leave, you know how you are."

"Yeah yeah, I know, I know. I can't help it, y'know? It's how I am."

"And I'm attached to Itachi, so stop going on about it, it's how I am."

"Fine. I got it."

Chinsei meets us at the door, barking happily as he rears up and puts his paws on my shoulders. Juugo hurries up behind him. "Down! Down boy! Sorry, Kimimaro, guys."

"Sooo, since I've been a shitty friend-slash-roommate, I thought the least I could do was help you move your stuff," I explain. "These guys decided to pitch in just because."

His face twists in amused bafflement. "Thanks? But you do realise that I don't own all that much? It's literally just clothes, utensils, books and a few bits of furniture. And where's Yuyu? I thought she'd be here given how she's attached herself to you?"

"She's still grounded," Erumi shrugged as we filter into the hallway. "After her little tantrum she not only lost half of her Devourer hive - they weren't designed to process stone and plaster - but she's got to go straight home from the Academy. And her Grandmother is even scarier than she is."

"Does she do the-" Toshiki makes an odd snakelike roaring action above his head- "thing, too?"

"Pfft. Like I'm that stupid to get her that angry at me."

As Juugo had said, he didn't have much to pack, and between us it was all sealed in scrolls in under half an hour. Erumi, however, is still eyeing my piles of notebooks.

"How does one become...like you and Itachi are, anyway?" She asks. Ah, this I can explain.

"Well, chakra is a combination of Physical and Spiritual Energies. Physical Energy is produced by your cells and fuelled by food, water and aerobic respiration. Training your body improves these metabolisms and raises Physical Energy. Spiritual Energy comes from your knowledge, your ability to process information, but also general perception and self-awareness. You have to know who you are. That's where Resonating comes in."

"That's what you and Itachi are; Resonated is the term?" Toshiki confirms.

I nod. "Yes. You know that shinobi often have Snap Events, where mental trauma is so great that they lose all self-control and lash out, and when that happens, they can possibly go through a psych-shift. That's when, in their traumatised state, they lose their sense of who they are, causing their Spiritual Energy to destabilise, then happen across an idea or a person and rebuild their life around that. It can lead to some really weird partnerships between shinobi.

But say you have two shinobi, friends, who go through a Snap Event or equivalent trauma together. They each get damaged and lose their senses of self. But what they do know is that they are friends. That fact becomes a mutual focal point upon which they pull themselves together. That means each of their senses of self is based on the other person, as is their Spiritual Energy, therefore their chakra. Feeling the other's chakra balances them, provides the focal point on which to calm themselves and rationalise. Sure, they don't need it constantly, but they do need it every so often.

So, yeah, that's Resonating. Me and Itachi. What's so funny?"

Juugo shakes his head, smiling. "Nothing. You're really good at explaining stuff, y'know? And you've got people to explain to. Just...no hard feelings. You did what you could and I shouldn't have expected from you what I did." He holds out his fist.

I smile. "Good to hear." We fist-bump.

"So!" Erumi interrupts, juggling the sealing scroll containing a stack of books. "We moving this stuff? You're going to have to show us the way Juugo, me and Toshiki don't have a clue where your new place is."

"Right," Juugo shakes himself. "Guess I should give you this back then?" He holds out the key to this apartment, but I push it back.

"Nah; keep it. Crash here if you need to, I don't mind." But he stuffs it into my hand.

"No, take it. Trust me, I think it's best if this place stays yours. You need somewhere private that's just yours and I need the clean break. Keep it."

I shrug; if that's how he wants it. I put it in my pocket. "Fair enough. Oh, and Erumi, you can keep the notebook with the purple cover, but put the rest back."

"Aw, nuts."

As we walk, I take the opportunity to ask Erumi something. "So, how do you know Yuyu's grandmother? I mean, you say she's a scary lady and I already know about her information network, so she's obviously busy, soooo...'"

She shoots me an odd sideways glance, as if assessing me. "Her network found me; I'm not from Konoha. My father made a mistake and he didn't even know I was the result until four years ago. Tori-ue-sama fostered me briefly as the guardianship went through."

Ah; Erumi's half Nara. And the circumstances explain the genially distant relationship she has with her dad. "Huh, I'd never have guessed it. You're certainly smart enough for a full Nara-" she shoots me a Look "-...observant enough then."

She relaxes, then sighs. "Flatterer. And thanks for the lend of the notes."

The Sandaime shook his head incredulously as he lit his pipe with a spark of chakra fire from a snap of his fingers.

"I'm glad, Kakashi. I'm sure Minato is too. You have your month's notice to appoint a replacement, of course, but congratulations on your retirement from ANBU. The young Kaguya crawl under your skin that much?"

In response, Kakashi's shoulders twitched awkwardly as a twisted smile tugged at his one visible eye. "Hm. Something like that. And that ties in nicely to my second request; I want him as my Apprentice."

The Hokage said nothing, did nothing, save take a deep lungful of smoke. "I see. Before I make my decision either way, I'd like to know how you plan to make that work."

"Sir, with all due respect, he's wasted at the Academy. I've seen his report cards and observed him in class. He's far too advanced for any of the material and he has a maturity unmatched by any of his peers save a select few. One-on-one Apprenticeship is the best step and in skill balance, we're well matched. I'll teach him strategy, tactics, help him to refine and build his own jutsu, how to use Fuuinjutsu in combat settings."

A head nodded. "All good points. However, I want to be sure that you know that this cannot be an exclusive relationship. I need to put him on a three-Genin cell come the graduation of his current class in a year and a half."

Kakashi's stare was somewhat baffled. "Why would there be a need? I'll have taught him everything any Jonin could. He might even be Jonin by then."

The Sandaime exhaled a cloud of smoke in a long sigh. "Together with one other of his classmates, plus a third yet to be determined, they have the potential and the mindset to become one of the most fearsome teams since the Sannin."

A single eye blinked. "But that would never work; merging a higher-ranked Apprentice into a Genin cell can cause friction, as I well know. And whatever poor sap you appoint to lead them won't be able to cope with the difference in skill level."

"Hm," the Hokage chuckled. "Friction...possible but unlikely given from what I've heard. And I have plans in place to take care of their skill differences. But speaking of skill, I don't want you slacking off, Kakashi."

"Sir." Kakashi retorted in an aggrieved tone.

"No, no Kakashi, I meant that I need you to push your limits and reach your full potential. You are one of the best ANBU I have ever had, but you have let your more mainstream skills stagnate when we both know you could rival even myself in my prime." Reprimand over, his expression became weary. "After being hunted for being himself for so long, Kimimaro-kun deserves to be comfortable in his own skin. Orochimaru will come after him the moment he hears and you must be strong enough to defend your Apprentice as well as teach him how to defend himself."

"Of course; I'll put my all into it."

Hiruzen glanced up sharply.

"I am this close to detaining you under suspicion of being an imposter."

"Nothing of the sort, Hokage-sama; I have simply had the chance for some serious introspection and self-evaluation."

"Maybe I should start sending some of the more...fragile ANBU to room with him if this is the sort of affect he has."

Kakashi's eye creased in an aborted smirk. "I'd advise against it; Shisui Uchiha has been reduced to a high-functioning alcoholic already and he's one of the most relaxed we have. Although that might be because our little distributor of chaos and his eager enabler take special pleasure in tormenting him."

"Yes, Naru-kun was rather vocal about the destruction to his balcony. And the wall to Kimimaro-kun's apartment needed replacing as well, but at least her grandmother offered to foot the bill."

"Yes, yes, I was there, Hokage-sama. Can I have Kimimaro for my Apprentice or not?"

"Kakashi." The Sandaime's gaze is stern now. "Kimimaro-kun is an old soul trapped in the body and mind of a broken child. You yourself are broken, clinging to masks until even I can't tell what sort of Kakashi I'm talking to. You're asking me to put two fragile people together and I don't know if this isn't going to break you both. You need to be able to grow off of each other as people, not become co-dependant with each other's emotional issues."

By this point, Kakashi's shoulders were shaking visibly. "Sir. I don't know how to do that. I might not even be able. But I want to try. And Kimimaro deserves the protection and knowledge I can give him, if he'll have it."

A long silence followed as the Hokage contemplated, until; "I sincerely hope this works. Provisional, you understand?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama. Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Yakuren-sensei, I'm being kidnapped."

Despite the utterly dry and deadpan delivery, the announcement nonetheless had Academy Sensei Isoko Yakuren spinning round from the blackboard with kunai in hand. The sight made her gape.

One of her most irritatingly competent students was slung like a sack of potatoes over the shoulder of an awkwardly cheerful Kakashi Hatake.

"Sorry sensei-san, I'm borrowing your student, possibly permanently. The paperwork should be on your desk by the afternoon."

"Yakuren-sensei, thanks for everything, I guess. Well, I knew most of it already, but the effort was appreciated," Kimimaro added, reaching up to insistently prod the Jonin in the cheek. "Hey, Erumi? If I die, tell Itachi to avenge me. Yuyu, feel free to join in as long as the Village isn't levelled in the process; I like the scenery as it is."

"Stop that," Kakashi remarked, slapping away Kimimaro's poking finger. "You're not going to die, not on my watch."

"That's good, because if I died, I'd never speak to you again."

The pair disappeared in a Shunshin, scattered leaves drifting to the ground along with Hatake's parting remark.

"Incorrigible brat...'"

"You know, if you wanted me to sort out your Sharingan, you could have just asked," Kimimaro huffed irritably once they reached the privacy of a packed-earth ground Kakashi knew very well. "I do actually quite like you, enough to do it for the sake of it."

"In actuality, I do want you an Apprentice, fixed Sharingan or not." That halted Kimimaro in his mental tracks.

"Oh...But why me specifically? Both of us aren't exactly...stable." Well, deja vu much. But that brought up his point.

"I know; that's partly why I want you. I'll teach you practical skills and protect you from Orochimaru, and you'll be my sounding board for some things I've been working on since you're smart enough to keep up with me." It works; Kimimaro is so used to authority figures having an agenda to exploit him that having one laid out for him puts him at ease and it saves an emotional blowout further down the line. A blowout which he himself is not emotionally equipped to help Kimimaro through, as last time demonstrated.

"Huh; yeah, I can go for that."

"Are you accepting the Apprenticeship then?"

Kimimaro rolled his eyes, looked to the sky and sighed deeply. "Yes. I'll be your Apprentice." Finally, he looked around and Kakashi could see the wheels turning in his head with every twitch of muscle around the eyes and miniscule tilt of the head. "Where are we?"

"Oh," Kakashi brushed the question off airily. "Some old private training ground that fell out of use. I'm the only one that really uses it anymore. Now, I want you to meet some good friends of mine."

Hand-seals.

Puff of smoke.

"Yo. Who's the kid?"

"I'm his new Apprentice," Kimimaro chipped in from where he's sat in the middle of Kakashi's pack and was immediately swarmed and scented thoroughly.

"Sheesh, Kakashi, where'd you find this one?" Pakkun snorted, padding over. "He's barely out of his puppy years and he looks like he's been through a mangle."

"Inochi Saido who got away from Orochimaru when he could," Kakashi said discretely even as Kimimaro scratched Buru's ears, the massive black bulldog's hind paw pounding the ground reflexively. "He's pretty lively and friendly, considering, but he keeps his emotions to himself too much. Like I was. Like I still do, I guess."

Pakkun stared as they both steadfastly ignored the constant slurry babble of "Who's a good boy, hoozagoodboy yesyesyouare goodboygoodboy...'" coming from behind them.

"Well bite my tail and call me a squirrel," Pakkun mused, scratching his neck. "You finally realised that you need to remove the splinters from your coat before the wounds can heal. And you brought him here of all places."

"Enough talk, Pakkun," Kakashi said, perhaps a little sharply, and the dog pack vanished back into smoke. Kimimaro was left sitting in the dust, clothes mussed and looking a bit put out at the abrupt departure.

"Awww...'"

"You'll see them again," Kakashi reassured. "For now though, I have a little challenge for you. This old training ground is attached to a disused house. Said house used to belong to a Jonin veteran of the first two Shinobi Wars and it's full of booby traps. I've removed the lethal ones, but the non-lethal and crippling ones are still there. I want you to disable all of them."

Not five minutes later, Kakashi smiled to himself as a torrent of swearing made it's way from the small, traditionally-built complex behind him, growing ever more diverse and bizarre.

"Son of a SHITSLUG!

SHITTYtittyFUCKfuckNOPE!

OH sweet Madara on a tricycle!

Stick a senbon THROUGH YOUR EARDRUM!

Boil your skull and DRINK your BRAIN AS SOUP!

WHAT SNOT-BRAINED SADIST PUTS THAT THERE?!

SON OF A SHARK-FUCKER!...'"

It continued on in that vein for quite a while, together with a light accompaniment of small explosions and billowing smoke. However, it stopped after a time and Kimimaro staggered back into view, slightly singed in places with a smattering of lightly-bleeding slices.

"You asshole!" He spat, only to freeze in fear. Kakashi ignored it, instead taking a slim wrist and pressing healing chakra to the small wounds.

"Well done; you did a lot better than I expected."

"Yeah, well," he shifted nervously as his flesh slowly stitched itself closed. "What do want me to call you, anyway?"

"Shishou is traditional, but I'll accept Sensei if you prefer," Kakashi shrugged. "I'm not that big on tradition. And don't bother censoring yourself, I never planned on treating you like a child and I'm pretty thick-skinned as it is."

Kimimaro flexed his arms, testing the pull and give of the healed gashes before he relaxed, apparently satisfied. "Huh. Kakashi-shishou it is then. I kind of know how the Genin teams work out, but not Apprenticeships; I mean, what boundaries and expectations are there?"

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at the surprising lack of caution, "people usually ask those things before agreeing?" Kimimaro's cheeks pinked a little.

"Well yeah, but I was pretty excited, you know? It's not every day you get Apprenticed to an ANBU, and a crazy-strong one at that."

"Hm. Well, considering your skillset and that you have a good understanding of all the basics, I'm going to be helping you develop your specialty and showing you ways to exploit and overcome the weaknesses and strengths of different opponents. All I want you to do is learn as much as you can, apply your knowledge and skills appropriately and try to trust me if you can.

You're not ignorant, naïve or immature, so I'm going to treat you like more of a kohai than a true student, so don't be surprised if it seems like I'm treating you differently to other Apprenticeships you see around."

"Fair enough," Kimimaro sighed as he stretched. "And you can lord it over the peons that you have a more advanced Apprentice, right?"

Kakashi smiled, not that it was really that visible; his new student did know him well.

"Exactly. Now, before we have to go and fill in some forms and get a photograph taken, let's get you kitted out." He headed toward the now disarmed house. "This place has a pretty extensive armoury with top quality metal."

Kimimaro scurried to walk beside him. "Um, Kakashi-shishou? Mail shirts hinder rather than help, considering my Kekkei Genkai. I kind of have all the weapons I need as well."

"Have you tried leather armour? And your Shikotsumyaku does cost you in both chakra and bodily resources, so you'll be practicing with the real deals as well as weapon care. Also, I believe you need at least basics in some of the more esoteric equipment. There are a few jutsu I think you'll find handy, but let's save those for the future."

"Cool. But can I go back and tell my friends that I'm okay at some point today? Otherwise they'll send a Search and Retrieval party out after me."

"So you are the one who has caused so much trouble for me as of late."

I glance hesitantly to the side to where Yuyu is sitting, then back, because Erumi is right; Yuyu's grandmother is a scary lady.

While Yuyu is simply a midget, Kusatori Aburame is merely petite if I judge by the hands. The old-fashioned kosode with a dragonfly-like suhama pattern creates an austerely traditional image, as does the long-stemmed kiseru pipe. Iron-grey hair is pulled up into a bun stuck through with long steel kanzashi pins. Then, of course, there are the kikaichu. Kikaichu everywhere. Carapaces and wings glint in the shadows and if I look up, the whole ceiling is alive. And I have to mention the giant one that's sitting in her lap like a cat. All stumpy legs and horns with an odd pyramid-shaped body covered in fur...it's weirdly fascinating in a 'oddly cute freak of nature' kind of way. Not to mention that she has the same presence that the Sandaime has but not in a 'raw power' kind of way, more of a 'they will never find your body' kind of way.

And now she's accusing me of causing trouble, oh, I am screwed then.

"Um, I plead unintentional? Other than that, can I get specifics?"

...I'm good at reading body language and I think she's amusedly tolerant?

She takes a long drag at her pipe, expelling a mist of fragrant-smelling smoke from her nostrils like a dragon before speaking. "The destruction of your apartment was the fault of my granddaughter and we have settled that between us. However, not only has Ibi-kun dared to pay me a visit thanks to information from you but my granddaughter has Claimed you. My, my."

"I was led to believe that the whole Queen Thing was not a bad thing."

"Oh, it isn't. But you don't really know what it involves or why it exists, do you? As Senior Queen it is my role to instruct both my successor and her first Soldier on the dynamic they are taking up. My, my."

I unseal a notebook and pen from my wrist, only to have them snatched from my hands.

"These are Clan Secrets," Kusatori-sama says sharply, Killing Intent pressing down on me. "They are not to be left lying about in written form or divulged to anyone." Fuck, she has a xenomorph Apparition too.

"Sorry, I'm sorry! I promise I won't let anything slip! But I don't know if I'll remember anything," I appeal, and she softens.

"My, my. Well then, child.

I suppose the best place to start is to say that the kikaichu Aburame carry within our bodies can have certain impacts upon us. Namely, our offspring have an unbalanced Female-to-Male birth ratio, among other related difficulties. Hence our tendency to seek women outside of the Clan to bring them in. Born Females, in particular those with fully functioning reproductive organs, are rare; born once or perhaps twice a generation. Two of them, currently the only two, sit in this room now. My, my. A question?"

"Um, yeah, sorry if I'm skipping ahead here, but if kikaichu influence birth ratio, that makes the two of you really special to both Clan and kikaichu, right? Is that where the whole Soldier bit comes in?"

"You are a quick one, child. My, my. Yes, gain an ability and pay a price. A Queen may control and use the kikaichu of any Aburame, regardless of permission or lack of. We can connect on a deeper level to kikaichu as well. But our price...our chakra reserves are truly pitiful. You are correct in that we collect Soldiers, instinctually, to defend us from attacks. We find the broken and give them a home and a heart to return to in exchange for their strength.

You are my granddaughter's First, though she still insists on her foolishness of pursuing a Frontline career. My, my."

Yuyu is actually vibrating in barely-concealed anger beside me. I think that last comment touched a nerve. "Yuyu-kun's doing well enough in the practical classes, so I don't see a problem if she wants to go for Frontline?"

Underneath black spectacles, she fixes me with a scathing stare. "My, my. Silly child. Did I not just say that she is precious? That she does not have the chakra? Her talents are better put to use in Intel gathering and Communication on the back lines."

"Her kikaichu can eat through at least walls; I'm pretty sure anyone would balk at that. And since when did being a valuable commodity mean 'lock away from any conflict at all'? That's not stopping me from going on missions outside with Kakashi-shishou."

"My, my. If you cared about her, you would be agreeing with me, foolish whelp." Her tone is icy; oh lovely, I've just pissed off a powerful Aburame and apparently an Important one. Well, she pissed me off first, so fair game. But before I can open my mouth, Yuyu grabs me by the shoulder and hauls me bodily out of the room. She's unexpectedly strong for her size.

She doesn't stop dragging me until we're in an indoor garden lined with terrariums in the walls. "Scrawny old pigeon," she hisses. "Well, now you know how precious and weak I am, aren't you going to wrap me in cotton wool and stand guard over me?"

"You haven't asked me to," I shrug. She looks baffled, so I continue. "When you told me about the Queen Thing, y'know, before the whole 'punted into a lake' incident, you just said that you wanted my chakra every now and again and to track my health. As far as I'm concerned, you protect yourself until you ask for help."

"It's only because I'm so good at bioengineering my own specialised kikaichu that I even qualify for some of the practical Academy classes," she mumbles, taking off her visor and grinding at her eyes with the palm of her hand. I catch a glimpse of amber, before the visor is replaced. "I just need to work at it and I'll be a Frontliner somehow. And in the meantime, you go off with Kakashi-fucking-Hatake of all people. Do you know how jealous I am right now?"

"Well, I bet you'll be a terrifying shinobi in your own way some day," I pacify. "His fighting style doesn't even match yours; Kakashi-shishou's direct and confusing at the same time while throwing out tons of chakra. You'd be best at sharp, direct strikes, in-and-out, terrorizing the enemy, wearing them down, sowing confusion."

"You really think I can do it?" She murmurs in wonderment.

"I prefer supporting you in what you want rather than merely protecting you. So considering that I'll be helping you, of course I think you can do it."

I get the sense that she's smiling broadly. "Hm. I want your Shishou's autograph."

"Fine."

"So he's dead then? Really dead?" Tayuya whispered to Kidomaru after Orochimaru-sama had stormed out. The spider-limbed child rubbed the bruising on his throat cautiously.

"Yeah," he keened softly. "And Kimimaro-senpai ran away 'cause he's a traitor; why would he leave us? We were all happy here and now he's gone and made Orochimaru-sama mad."

"Guess we're the Sound Ninja Four now," Sakon murmured. "I still can't believe Kabuto-senpai was defeated so easily. We all looked up to him," Ukon added from his brother's back.

"We all looked up to that bastard Kimimaro as well, even Kabuto!" Tayuya spat.

"Anyone know if we'll get someone to make us the Sound Five again?" Jirobo asked hesitantly. "Or if Orochimaru-sama will replace Kabuto-senpai?"

"He'll probably go through the Assets; to see if any of them are capable of taking on a leadership position," Ukon replied.

"Didn't Kabuto-senpai have it in for that one Asset because Orochimaru-sama took a liking to his mind?" Kidomaru perked up. "That guy's nice; it'll probably be him."

"You mean creepy," Jirobo shuddered. "I don't like his Clan Ability."

Tayuya turned on him."Hey, you got something against genjutsu, fatboy?!"

"Don't call me fat!" Jirobo roared back.

"I'll call you whatever I want, lard-ass!"

We officially have plot. Do you read me Houston? We have a plot!

We have the fun and lighthearted Venture Arc, then we get into the juicy bits of the Uchiha Massacre and derailing canon a bit more, WOO!

Next Time...

"-A wretched hive of scum and villainy ruled over by warring bloated and corrupt corporations?"

"...I was going to say a busy trading centre with a reputation for seedy activities, but that works too."

As always, read, enjoy and review if you can!