The weight of the living cannot outweigh the other side of death. It wasn't ever a competition in the first place.

A metal whistle harshly blows and she feels herself jolt.

It's noisy but not dangerously so. No screaming, no bloodshed, not even a single breeze of nature. Yet it has Sophie spinning to gather in her surroundings.

Lines at her feet. Squeaking of shoes. People scattered running around, with even more of them on various machinery not too far away. The cool hum of strong centralized airconditioning blowed through the gym.

The grunting and groaning came from sources of pain yes, but not the kind she's grown accustomed to.

Even in a full gym, it's easy to spot herself. She sees herself as she knows best. Aged. Shocked white hair and battle scars underneath athletic gear fitting tight over near every visible surface. She sees as the most real version of herself runs, muscles taunt, steps light and strong as a wild beast. Something worthy of being a predator.

But there's nothing to chase, nothing that could be hunted down. Not here.

She completes the laps in circuits, round and round. Standard 400 meters. Four laps to make a mile.

By the time Sophie rights herself in the center of the track, finally clear on just where, and when, she was, the other her had run round twice. Half a mile already.

This was her.

Body permanently damaged by years of starvation and blunt force trauma showing damage from her missing fingers. To the hearing aid surgically implanted in her skull, just behind the ear. It never worked quite right after the fire, especially towards human voices. But modern medicine did what it could.

This was Sophie in her prime. Out of the warzone, fattened up, healed up. With no where to strike, no enemies she could stalk and strike down.

It was a different world on the mainland, a seemingly different species running the place. People placed on their chameleon masks and played along. Went with the flow. Most of them didn't even know there was any other way to be. That they lived a big bubble, a show.

Order ruled and that wasn't necessarily good or bad. Accountability was held. Witnesses actually meant something, and repercussions followed you on the long road.

Good was good and bad was bad. The lines were drawn clearly with enforced laws. Physical walls. In practice, in theory, you could live in the luxury that was a 'safe' world.

Sophie couldn't stand it.

The hypocrisy, the systematic setup, the walls brought up once the rulers had the world just the way they liked it. How was it any different than the island? There were better tools, better toys, longer older roots, but what was really different?

The strong eat the weak. The weak play to the whims of the strong, keeping low, keeping their lives. It didn't matter who ruled them. No one could give a rat's ass who sat on top so long as they were well fed and left alone.

Pay your taxes, play your part, look the other way at the crumbling cracks.

Pray you won't be next.

As bad as it was, as bullshit as the system that protected those surviving bastards is, life was still better than on the island. Amazing what material comforts could buy the human psyche. Steady meals, hot bath, the fucking internet, fuck yeah it was damn paradise in many senses. But there were parts of Sophie that never turned off, was never at rest. Thus the need for regular visits to the gym.

Wasn't the worst place to work out some tension. Gain back the muscle the hospitals drained from her, be fit and ready for absolutely anything.

The woman finally seemed to finish her mad dash, speed and endurance training without being too extreme. A few impressed fellow runners but nothing else. If it weren't for her scars, she would have blended right into the masses and machines. But this was good enough.

It was a gym for god's sake.

Sophie took a deep breath and calmly crossed her arms behind her back. She wouldn't risk touching anything, not if her theory was right.

It was another dream, just the right kind. Blast to the past and take something back.

There was no need to follow her other self. Nothing to see there. Rather Sophie scanned the sights around her. Familiar, it almost felt like just a month or so ago that she was here. If it weren't for this lighting bolt of events, she very well could be.

The gym was sleek and modern, far beyond what people in this time could imagine. It was only a few short years past a decade into the future but their generation was known for technological advancement. Touch screens and automation, automatic scales and sensors and VR projections. The usuals for anyone living in 2030.

But such toys would have no use to her on an island of nothing.

Nothing but scraps maybe but wiring and technology wasn't her specialty. She picked up a few things here and there, but she wasn't fantastical enough to turn out a bunch of machinery from broken metal parts. Smack a generator to work maybe? In the end, wood and stone was more her forte, where her experiences best lay.

Keeping calm, keeping herself asleep, Sophie walks the grounds. Out of the well maintained running track and past the rows and rows of muscle building machinery. Past the private and public classroom sessions and yoga mats.

Sophie analyzes with her sharp eyes as she walks. It was almost leisurely, strolling along and window shopping. One would think she was in a department store.

Should she get the stack of yoga mats? Line the cave floor with something a little more cushioned?

Perhaps the weight rack? No electricity needed. God knows they could all use the strenth building, especially June. But where would it go in the cave?

What about that sitting room sofa? Her siblings would appreciate a fucking couch. They might just never get off that thing during this indoor season. It was a basic clean design and would make their space homier?

With her train of home decor thoughts, it honestly wasn't too different from department store shopping.

The main problem was that she only had one chance. One touch.

As graceful as a ghost, Sophie avoided people and things. Making her way across the floor and down the wide-open stairs to the grand front lobby. Where there was the highest amount of foot traffic, and the highest amount of stuff.

She walks around the front desk, casually eyeing the workers and racks. The little information desk with their gears for sale and clean towels baskets. Eyes the tiny doors to the employee back.

She could. But she grips her hands, still behind her back, and doesn't risk it.

The rainy season had just started. She couldn't afford any more tests, any wasted chances. They needed every edge, any boost, to survive. One wrong touch and they'll end up with nothing.

Admittedly the gym wasn't the greatest place to raid for supplies, but it wasn't the worst.

There were plenty of options she could make do with. People got creative, they had no choice to, when stranded and cut off. If need be they could figure out how to repurpose a damn Stairmaster. But Sophie could do better than that. Could afford those back home something better than gym equipment.

Sure they could have used those weights but immediate survival came first. Sophie's still not sure what activates these dreams. Or when her next chance will be. They lost too many food supplies in her reckless bit. She was aiming to get it back.

In the center of the lounge, Sophie spins and makes her choice.

She goes for the rest area to the side. Straight to the rows of touch screen kiosks and automatic vending machines. She walks right up to the largest fucking overpriced vending machine she knows is there. A sleek behemoth of a locker extention, showcasing heavy packs of designer protein on one side, packaged snacks, and drink bottles on the other.

Obviously, she didn't bring any money.

Slamming her hands on the machine, Sophie hopes this actually works. She curses for it to work.

She wakes up with a gasp.

The world around her changed with a dizzying effect. Like the sudden change in blood pressure upon sitting up. The sound and smell of pounding rain going on right outside. And she is alone.

Her breathing sounds far too loud by herself, something she tries to smother under the comforter of her sleeping bag and sheets.

There's nothing else in her hands, obviously. Nothing in her grasps, nothing at all.

Her view just herself and this partly hollowed-out cave, slowly filling itself up into something possibly more. From the bamboo and mat flooring to the awkward wood ladders and holes in the walls made into shelves.

It was the same but it wasn't. This wasn't the past, as she instinctively fears every day she wakes. The evidence was strewn everywhere that somewhere, June and Mattie were here. The evidence was right in front of her face.

But nothing new.

Sophie focuses on breathing first. Focuses on coming down from fight or flight. There was nothing here, she was safe. Even if there was she would stay safe. When she checks her nearby phone, it's already late in the morning.

She long overslept, this old body of hers keeping that nasty habit.

Insomnia plagued her yet again last night, and with the growing wet drizzle she wasn't risking going out in that. That would explain the tiredness still in her limbs, the haze in her head. Even she doesn't know how long she stayed up. Consumed by static thoughts and worn out fears. TIme stretching into nothingness between the pitter-patter outside and the soft snoring inside.

It must have been frustratingly close to dawn by the time she drifted off. The world nothing but vague darkness. So it's understandable if her body tried to make up for it now.

She was much younger, Sophie had to remind herself. Her current body had a different rhythm, different needs. Just like how teenagers needed much more sleep than adults. 21 wasn't too far from that.

The actual teenagers however were missing but Sophie didn't panic. The beeping dots on the GPS watch showed two others not far from the cave, moving quickly back.

It was easy enough to guess that the others had let her sleep in.

The wooden and leaf door closed shut, the bug net put away in this obviously wet weather. The skies outside must have lightened the downpour for them to try to go out and get something done. Gather supplies most likely.

Sophie sighs, letting herself fall back down to her pillow. A sleep deprived headache swirling around inside her skull, pounding at her temple.

Nothing, she got nothing from that dream. No food, no supplies, just the heavy hammering of a headache. A slight wave of nausea built up from her sudden wake up. It felt not too unlike a bad hangover and drugged crash all in one. Something her very wise 'future' self drowned in on occasion, for better or worse.

Her eyelids felt weighted by heavy stones but the soothing rain outside and the minimal soft comfort of her makeshift bed felt divine. A bit of relief in a storm.

She imagines now, that this is how Mattie feels too often. When she catches him slumped over in another nap. No matter how much he snipes and snarked back against June calling him a diva, the boy legitimately looked to be in pain. Not obviously, but Sophie knows her brother. Knows his tricks and habits, how he brushes things off with sarcasm and a strong front.

Playing with time cost him, from minor complaints of fatigue to those pesky headaches that had him either ready to fight or pass out. Mattie loved napping since he figures his condition out. They were short increments but plentiful throughout the day.

This power had its price. A physical toll before they could condition themselves stronger. That's most likely what Sophie was feeling now.

That and the great urge to just go the fuck back to sleep.

"Hurry the hell up dunderhead!"

"Ack, geez don't push me like that, it's slippery!"

"Well slip and slide faster, I'm drowning out here."

"You're layered three times as much as me Mattie, you got the damn poncho-"

"It's a coat."

"A coat and a poncho. That's totally a poncho don't lie, you're fiiiiiine. I'm the one drowning!"

"Less talking more walking. There's too much mud on me. You're carrying so much less stuff, how are you so slow."

"Safe! Oh sweet dryness you feel so good. Patio thing so good."

"So much mud, we're tracking so much mud like this! Oh god going outside was a trap."

"Like can you complain any more Mattie?"

"Why yes! Yes yes and yes. I can complain more and I shall do so with vigor."

If Sophie was even paranoidly worried for a moment, the incoming voices definitely cleared those fears away, as grating as they were. Ah, it's been so long since she's felt that long-familiar sibling annoyance.

What a blessing.

"You think Sophie is up yet dude?"

"Doesn't matter, don't go stomping screaming and dragging mud. That's what the mat is for, off. Boots off."

"Bro."

"What."

"Bro I want hot chocolate."

".....the shitty cat hasn't gotten into the cocoa mix yet."

"Brah I love you. Like I hate you but I love you and hot chocolate more. "

"Everything nasty off. You go in first and set that hot water. I'll clean up here, it's faster if I do it myself."

"Yes sirree Mattie."

She hears it all as June rustled their wonky excuse of a door. The wooden hinges dug and drilled into the tough surroundings. Hears it as she finally slips it open and fumbles her way through the palms and dividers blocking out the wind and blowing rain.

"Sophie? Sophie you still dead to the world?"

She gives the girl a audible groan and turns over to get more comfortable, but that was about it. They were big kids. She got them this far, they could handle themselves at this current point.

"I'll take that as a yes." June steps through, shaking her the wet fringe of her hair and putting foraged supply bags down.

The younger girl tries to tip toe, socks and all. The floor still creaks but she tried. All to keep as quiet as possible. It was one thing to mess with Mattie's beauty sleep, and a whole different death trap to touch Sophie's.

So she traversed the silence to the firepit, dumping in today's tinder and wood. It would be dark and surprisingly cold today, with the way the cave was boarded up. Sophie's stern reminder to save power to last them, the solar chargers wasted in this weather. So old fashioned fire it was.

With three or so attempts with the lighter, June got the tinder to light. First as small as a candle, until it grew to a warm smolder, catching on the charcoal and finally the chips of foraged firewood. The chore still a novelty to June, and it made her curiously squeal every time she managed to get it right, smoother and faster on each attempt. She reached for the kettle and looked up.

And screamed.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!"

Sophie was up in an instant, pounding head and all. Mattie burst in only a second after. The two older siblings rushing to their youngest's side around the glow of the fresh fire.

"What is it?!?" clamored Mattie, dripping rainwater in. something he would never do if it wasn't for the screaming.

On the floor, June slowly pointed over and behind Sophie's head. Sophie didn't move, but her pulse quickened even faster. She felt a grin twist onto her face as Mattie's jaw dropped in shock while June slapped her own face silly.

The youngest then pinched her own brother, kindly concerned as he was. He was too flabbergasted to reacts until he felt the harsh pinch and twist at his own face.

"Fuck!?!" he shouted.

"YOU TOO?!! Bitch you see it too?!" June slapped at the both of them, unnecessarily making sure they were awake.

"What the fucking hell?!"

Sophie felt that the absolutely beautiful show of a reaction was enough. She didn't need to turn around to guess at what had them losing their shit. But she had to see it for herself.

Slowly, she turned fully behind her. To the unworked messy back cave, out of sight from her sleeping quarter. Slowly as not to agitate her already heavily irritated sensed, the weight of her head now that the screaming adrenaline dropped. But there was just enough of it humming under her skin, just enough to make her want.

Wish and want.

It was a little bit of Schrödinger's cat. Is it or is it not? Both? Limbo?

Unless you see it for yourself, peer into the darkness of box, it could be anything. In any state. Life, death, radioactivity and endless thoughts. A paradox that by any good sense shouldn't exist in the first place.

None of this should exist anyways.

No one, nothing, her life was practically left for nothing. No matter what the mountain of books read, no matter what her therapists patiently waiting to draw out from her, what good was life amongst the dead. Dead, dead, dead, they were all dead and so was she if she wasn't just so stubborn.

Wasn't still breathing. Still running. Still working all for naught. All the wrong ones lived. It was only natural selection, that the dead strongest, the most vicious sort lived to see the view from the top. That's why she played nice in that world. She was going to become the very worst, she was going to play the game till either she or all of them died.

Shame she couldn't play it out to the end in that world.

But this? This time and place that makes no sense? That shouldn't exist? She'll take it.

Much like that dead clunky vending machine taking up space.

Sophie laughs at the sight. Giddy in a sick twisted sense of relief, and near infinite possibilities. This wasn't just a reset button, a video game, but fuck she'll take it. She'll take this dream, this reality. She'll be the fucking cat. She'll be the living dead in the deadly box. The poor unfortunate specimen to whatever greater beings put her here in the first place. She'll take it all.

"Ooookay so either we all see the thing or I've just gone insane? We've all gone insane?" stammered June, slapping Mattie again.

"Ouch, what the fuck? Seriously June what the fuck?"

"You're not dreaming and neither am I? Because Sophie is dying on the floor and the joke is too real looking to be funny."

She wouldn't dare touch Sophie, not when her sister was double over in mad laughter. Tears in her eyes, crusted from sleep and whatever this is.

June had every right to be unnerved as fuck though.

It's Mattie who makes the first move though. Cautiously but smoothly approaching the machine, knocking right at it. It makes the thick dull sound of something very real and just a bit hollow inside.

"Yep. That's a damn vending machine alright. A big ugly vending machine in my good clean cave."

"Oh my god!?"

Sophie was losing her shit, like her head wasn't already a mess. Lost marbles and a jumble of broken memories.

It worked. Headaches be damned, it actually fucking worked? She'll take this and more if she could reap the benefits of this sick fantasy. All the impossible goods she had brief access too. All the things to take advantage of.

Those island treasure chests? Picking and stealing people's luggage boxes? Their land and supplies? Fuck that.

This was so far fetched better, so ridiculous of an advantage, that Sophie damn lost herself in laughter.

If only it was that easy. If only life could be as easy as who had the most and best supplies. The most material comforts. She wheezed, feeling it hard to breathe as the world spun with the unbalanced weight of all her appendages.

"Sophie!"

Mattie caught her before she really fell over to hurt herself. Rather lowering his sister gently, supporting her weight as he grasped her twitching hands. His long fingers intertwining with much smaller ones, grounding her as mentally as he was physically.

She already knew it, since this all started, since she made her first premeditated kill, that she would suffer through anything so long as this kid lived. As long as Mattie and June lived, Sophie would gladly make a deal with the devil.

She'd give up anything to have it go right, if she hadn't already lost her mind and soul years ago she would sell that too. She just wasn't expecting it to really be this...real.

"June," she chuckles, short of breath and half delirious, "June, there's something you might want to know. You look like you really want to know?!"

"Sophie, breathe. Sophie? Shit, how much did this-" Mattie quickly felt at her pulse, going haywire as she battled with controlling herself.

But who needed that when you had the god damn supernatural? Who needed anything but power? Naive yes, drunk more so. Sophie felt hungover on the power, the potential.

"Do you want to know June?"

On the ground and fearfully lit by the underglow of flames, the only light in the otherwise dark cave, June nods. Slowly, shakily, but she nods. Her eyes wide open, moving constantly as if unsure where to look. What exactly it is that she needed to take in.

Sophie? Strange lost Sophie? Always playing strong until she wasn't. Cackling on the ground like a mad woman, a prophet, often one in the same.

Or Mattie? Plain straight forward Mattie? Whose shadow hid secrets like a blunt wall in plain sight, lips sealed by snark and insults. All bark, no bite, at least not for his sisters. His family.

Hell, how about the magic vending machine?!

It was just all so much. A real sight for sore eyes, she didn't know where to rest them for more than a couple of seconds.

So mutely she nodded. It was all she could do under Sophie's bright smile. Mattie's concerned whispers going unheard.

"Sophie, let it go. Let it be, you overdid it. Shit, take a rest and we can get back to-"

"Oh! If you want the truth so bad, you're going to have to find it the same way. The hard way. There's no other way."

"Sophie close your eyes, I know, I know."

"Hear that? Mattie knows. Same way, same path. If you want to know, you know what you have to do."

The flames flickered. A dampness unrelated to the rain outside grew between this tenseness. Shakily June struggled to get up, her legs feeling weaker than a fawn on ice. Mattie stayed down, his hold tight as he hushed his other sister as if she were truly much smaller and vulnerable. Much younger instead of the truth the other way around.

"Not like this, not right now. Sleep first." Mattie whispered, the sound somehow still too loud in this space. At this moment.

Without a word, Sophie allowed herself to be rocked and held. But no more, he wasn't dragging her off just yet. She watched precisely as June moved, clumsy as she was. Watched as surely the younger girl located and pulled out the special container.

Sure of what lay under the lid, what was in her hands, June walked back to the fire with that box.

"This. It's this isn't it?" June shook the box with her shiver.

Sophie didn't say a word. Only watched. Watched what choice her weak link would take now.

"Go to sleep Sophie, you'll feel better after" Mattie quietly spoke, brushing sweat she didn't even know formed at her temple. "We can take better care of each other after, two of us for while one sleeps. it's more effective that way. Please just calm down, Sophie please."

He spoke perfect sense.

But that wasn't what Sophie was looking for. She knew she could trust Mattie, know she needed him more than ever. But did she need June? If she wasn't her sister, was June someone worth her damn weight here?

"I....I was going to do it anyway." June bites down on her cheek, eyes stubbornly going downcast. Like a child she ripped off the top, recoiling at the preserved stench.

"Do I just?" the girl indicated with her bare hand, more than a little lost but willing. If dumb. Even if that willingness was more of her own need for something else. Something just as petty as it was emotional.

"You know the drill. Take care of her but don't say a word." she leans into Mattie's side, allowing him to finally tuck her away. The full effects against that nasty rebound long overdue.

"I know."

"Remember. Don't tell her anything."

"Ssshhhhh. You're making me get a damn headache sis. You couldn't go for anything smaller?"

"Alone, she needs to do this alone. Just like you did. Just like me."

That was enough, and Sophie feels the crash.

At least she got a pretty sweet deal for it.

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