Scars?

Their visit to the Evans home swiftly passed by and all too soon it was time for them to return home to Prince Manor. On the last day of their stay, the Evans couple decided to take Rowan and Severus to the community pool to enjoy themselves along with Lily and Petunia. Unfortunately, Severus was in luck as he could borrow an old pair of swimming trunks from Mr. Evans. And considering Rowan's height, she would be able to borrow a swimming suit from Petunia.

Standing gloomily in Petunia's room, Rowan grumpily murmurs, "Well, at least you have better taste than Lily."

"In what décor?" Petunia incredulously said as she glanced up from rifling through her drawers.

"No, in your taste in men," Rowan pointed to Petunia's posters of Iggie Pop, and other others.

"Lily did say that you liked the American actor, Robert Redford," Petunia visibly smirked. "And she said that you also liked them blond which makes totally perfect sense now."

Ignoring the last part of the statement, Rowan shrugs, "I can't help the fact that I like his rugged good looks. Besides I've got a thing for Clint Eastwod as well."

"Mm, they're both Americans," Petunia snickered as she pulled out a black tank swimming top and mid-thigh bottom swimming shorts. "I never wore this because it was black, but since it's you, I think it will be perfect for you."

Petunia tossed the swimming wear at Rowan and said, "Put it on."

"Here?" Rowan asked as she glanced around.

"Yes, here," Petunia folded her arms over her chest in exasperation. "You shouldn't be shy after living in dorms since your first year at Hogwarts."

Rowan rolls her eyes and removes her upper clothes without much embarrassment before slipping on the top. Petunia nods in approval as she says, "It looks like you're really starting to fill out." Rowan's waist was narrower while her hips had grown a bit wider and rounder over the past year along with her chest.

Without glancing at Petunia, Rowan removed her shoes and then her trousers. Luckily, she had shaved her legs before arriving at the Evans household, but she still pulled on the shorts with some discomfort. Petunia stares at Rowan's long legs not in admiration but in surprise. Across Rowan's pale inner thighs, there are hundreds of tiny jagged scars.

"What happened?" Petunia's voice dropped to a whisper. "Lily said you had an aversion to wearing skirts, but I thought it was because you were a tomboy."

Rowan shrugs off the remark. "I don't like to be looked at." Glancing at the scars on her legs she says, "It was an accident, really. I fell into a pile of shattered glass when I was younger." What she neglected to mention is that she had a bit of help from her father.

Petunia bites her lip and softly says, "Lily said that your dad wasn't a very nice man. And I overheard Mum and Dad once saying that Mr. Snape went to prison."

"Did he now?" Rowan muttered out loud knowing full well that was probably her grandfather's handy act. "Well, I wouldn't know that since I haven't seen or heard from him since we left Cokeworth. But I'll take your word for it."

Petunia stared at Rowan, before Rowan sighed, "Not all fathers and mothers are good parents, Petunia."

Seeing that Rowan didn't want to discuss the subject, Petunia said, "Well, I can cover your scars with makeup, but you can't get into the water."

"I'll be fine," Rowan said as she stared at her legs. "It's not like I'm really afraid of them. They just tend to serve as a reminder to me."

"Of what?"

"To never forget."

Petunia quickly changed the subject as they began to discuss the bodacious Sean Conery in Diamonds iz Forever. Because if there's one thing that is hot, it's a British spy. And he had quite an appealing voice to match.

The pool as it turned out was rather fun as Rowan just paddled in the water. She could have swum of course, but there was the added risk of running into someone. By the end of the afternoon, they were all laughing including Severus and Rowan. Mr. Evans, as it turned out is quite good at getting the two of them to laugh. And Mrs. Evans was most grateful as she felt sorry for the poor dears.

All too soon it was late afternoon, and they went home and enjoyed a large meal before at last going to sleep after a long day. Lying on one side of Lily's bed, Rowan stared at the floral wall in front of her despite the late hour. Unable to sleep, she slowly slithered out of bed and left Lily softly breathing on her side of the bed. Creeping downstairs she turned on a lamp in the living room and grabbed the fellowship from the bookshelf. Resuming where she had left off, she began to read,

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.

"So, do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

"How very true, Frodo," Rowan whispered as she found that she didn't want to read anymore. It was her grandmother's death that haunted her now. The Flamel couple's death haunted her even now even though she had never seen their faces. She would see them in her dreams as faceless whispering shadows. Often, she could not overhear what they were saying, only catching bits and pieces of their whispers.

Glancing down at her hand, Rowan can almost see a red stain there. It was only a figment of her imagination, a product of guilt and shame. Unable to bear it, she shut her eyes. She could still see the haunting image of her grandmother falling dead onto the floor. She hadn't been able to move a single muscle to run and escape at least. She had just stood there stupidly like a fool. She should have done something, anything, really. She had not. What if is what she often thought about? What if she had done this or that? Yet what if is the cruelest of words!

Opening her eyes, Rowan tucks the escaping tendrils back behind her ear. There was not much point in dwelling on the past, but she could not help herself. With every step she took the future became more twisted than she knew. She didn't know what the future would bring anymore and that made her afraid in some ways.

Truth be told, she didn't know how long the Prince couple lived as they had never been mentioned in Potter's time. Maybe they died in anonymity or maybe, they simply had moved to France to spend their last days in the warm countryside. She would never know in the end and in some ways that was a relief. Because sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Feeling out of sorts Rowan clenched her fists tight enough to nearly break the skin, before relaxing them. Her hands were clear now, but she felt as though they were dyed in red. She wouldn't forget, she couldn't even if she wanted to. Maybe someday she wouldn't even recognize herself in the mirror. A monster. Maybe, that is her future. She didn't know.