I am looking at the mirror appreciating Gods artwork of perfection.
"I am really handsome."
JM walked in wearing just short. I scanned him from head to toe, he suddenly looks different.
He use a lot of products to take care of his skin.
Is it his new hair cut?
He looks thin.
No, I think he lose a lot of weight.
His chubby cheeks are gone now. His jaw is more defined.
"Woah, JM, how many kilogram did you lose?"
"15, do I look good bro. It's been one week since I started diet."
He is showing his chocolate abs and flexing his bicept. He got those but his ribs are showing.
"I got that too."
I peeked inside my shirt. I see my belly sticking out..
"I just cant show you now, It's expensive."
I whispered.
Thinking it was a joke, he laugh so hard while getting a shirt and sweat pants. He left the room after changing.
"Why does he laugh in everything I said? Do I look like a joke?"
I look at my watch.
"It's lunch time?"
I went out of our bedroom.
I saw manager just arrived holding food containers placed in a paper bag.
I crossed my fingers.
Please give us something good this time.
I am about to help him but JK came running to get it.
"Manager, You're our savior.." Hyun joined JK to place the foods in the table and get some spoons and plates.
"We are really hungry." JK is busy opening a container .
"Woah! Is this beef?" I said snatching the container that Hyun just opened.
At last. We've been eating just fruits, chicken breast and vegetable salads last few days. I'm honestly tired of it.
"Where are the others?"
I asked while placing a large slice of meat on my plate.
The front door opened again, Joon, Yoo and Jay entered.
"Just in time." Joon place his bag on the chair and sat down.
"How about JM?" Yoo asked.
"He said he'll be out to go to practice studio."
JK answered without looking at him.
"Manager, I am worried.
JM, He is not eating and just keep on practicing." Hyun
put down his spoon.
"That's why he is getting thinner every time I see him. He is really working so hard."
"He said he lost 15 kilograms." I added.
"15? Isn't that dangerous." Joon looks worried too.
"Don't worry, I'll talk to him when he get back." Manager assured us.
I went back the room.
I saw a small envelope under JM's bed.
"It's a fan letter."
I read whats inside.
I feel upset on what I have read.
It's, Its says a lot of negative things about JM's weight comparing him to some.... I just cant say that word. A fan letter like this is just too much.
If its here. It means that he got and read it already.
Is this the reason why he is very obssesed with how he look this past few days?
The door suddenly opened loudly.
"Bro, JM collapsed." Hyun shouted.
I hid the letter on my pocket. I followed Hyun. JM is in the sofa.
Joon is calling. I think it's 911.
"Where is manager?"
I get my phone on my pocket.
"He left before JM come."
JK is from the kitchen he is holding a bottle of water.
"What will you do with that?" I pointed at the water.
"Incase JM bro wakes up thirsty."
I am about to call father too but JM moved and opened his eyes slowly.
"What do you feel?" Yoo asked.
He sat beside him.
"Bro, I'm hungry."
After eating the food we left for him JM looks energetic again.
"Are you trying to kill yourself?"
Manager shouted.
"Manager.." Joon stopped him.
He look sorry for shouting. This is the first time I saw him this worried.
"How long have you been starving yourself?"
He gave him a deadly glare.
"Actually.. I.. I am just eating one meal a day. I want to loose wait badly."
Just one meal a day and he is always practicing late. It will surely make him sick.
"I told you to diet not to kill your self."
His tone is calm now.
"I'm sorry."
"Is this because of this letter?"
I handed him the envelope.
"Manager!" He snatch the envelope on JM's hands.
"Have you read it?" He looks embarrased.
I can see that manager got overwhelmed with whats written on the letter too.
"Don't think about what says on that. You are a great dancer, you sing well too. It's okay to make yourself look good as long as it wont harm your health. If you loose it, do you think you can still perform and debut? Everthing will be useless."
"I'm sorry.. I promise bro. I'll take care my self more. Thank you."
Manager crumpled the paper.
"Remember this guys.. This letter is just one example of haters way to make you lose yourself. A lot of them will make you feel worse than this. I understand what you feel but not all of the things written here is true. Most of it was lies. You should know yourself more than anyone to be confident. You should accept what you have and let go of those you cant get. Improve yourselves but don't be obssessed on it. Take one step at a time don't rush things."
Silence filled the room.
"From now on, we will take actions with this kind of fan letters. We will never let anybody step on your dignity. Just trust us, the company."
I feel like this letter opened our eyes more about the darkside of being an Idol.