V 1.1 Chapter 4: The Inauthentic Dasein.

An authentic Dasein is constantly aware of its existence as its OWN; to be defined by itself and not by others. While the inauthentic Dasein lives lacking in awareness and allows oneself to be socially constructed by others. Thus, authenticity is lost.

- Martin Heidegger (Being and Time)

***

---Emily---

"I am not the same as before!!!"

"Huh?!" Thea uttered in disgust, switching her gaze towards me. "Hahahaha," she laughed as she put her palm in her face. "What's this? A loser trying to defend another loser. Interesting. This is interesting," she continued laughing. "Then let's put you to the test. I'll use these hands of mine to see if you are worthy of me!!! Sophia," Thea warned her twin-tailed companion. "Don't interfere. She's mine."

Carrying Hiiro, I put him under a tree, and walked back to where I was.

"T-the 'me' right now is different," I uttered in a soft voice. "I am stronger!"

"Huh? What are you even talking about?" Thea replied pointing her scepter to me. "Phantom Bullet!"

Immediately, I cast Phantom Shield, and as the Phantom Bullet reached the barrier, it dissipated into the air. Then, I ran to the right side so Hiiro won't be in the path of Thea's spell.

"Phantom Bullet!" Repeatedly, Thea cast the spell. Each time, I countered by casting Phantom Shield to repel her attacks. "You faker," Thea screamed. "Is that the only thing you can do? You said you're stronger but the only thing you're doing is casting that annoying shield over and over again."

Her offensive strikes continuously blasted through. However, I couldn't fight back. My mind is telling me to go for the attack, but every time I tried casting an offensive spell, my hands would shake and my mind would go blank. My mouth wouldn't open

"Hahahaha," Thea laughed. "It's useless! From here on, consider your path a one-way road! Just put your tail between your legs and get your ass back where you came from! Screw your 'I'm not the same as before' bullshit. You're still the weak faker like you used to be."

Her attacks are getting stronger and stronger.

"You're trying to act like a mighty animal... but insects are insects," Thea shouted, "This is revenge for destroying the village, for killing my family. Die! Die! Die! "

"Fly," I put my scepter between my legs, then cast the spell. Soon, my foot slowly parted from the ground. My body was hovering above the trees.

"Phantom Hands," Thea yelled. Hands made of shadows appeared beneath Thea and tried to grab me from below. But I dodged them. Soon, more hands appeared on the ground and tried to grab me again.

"Stop running away you filthy trash," Thea strongly said. "I'm going to put you back to where you belong."

A Phantom Hand soon got a hold of my foot. It pulled my body fast into the ground. A dozen more Phantom Hands held me preventing my escape...

...But that was a trap. It was a Water clone I made earlier. As the clone melted back into its watery form, I positioned myself behind Thea.

"In... Infer... In..." But, my hand was shaking too much. The rune I wrote then disappeared. A Phantom Hand soon grabbed me and pinned me hard to a tree. Thea sensed my presence.

"Any last words, pretend necromancer?" Thea uttered. "Phantom Bullet." As the ball of energy comes close, I looked down, waiting for my end.

"I'm sorry... Mother..."

But the spell didn't hit me. What appeared in front of me was a wall of ice that blocked the spell.

"Ar...ia..."

***

---Hiiro---

Watching from where Emily put me, stood a girl as pale as snow. Her long black hair gives off a mysterious feeling which was further enhanced by the violet pupils on her right eye while the other was tightly closed. She was carrying a scythe that could also be used as a spear. Combined with her black robe and her emotionless expression, she looked like a grim reaper.

"Tch," Thea uttered.

"Stop this. You've had enough," the black haired girl spoke.

"So?" Thea replied. "What're you going to do?"

"If the worst comes, then I have no choice but to use my curse on you," the black haired girl responded placing her right hand on her chest.

"Tsk. Let's go, Sophia," Thea said as the two of them went away. The black haired girl then carried Emily and walked towards me.

"Who are you?"

"H-Hiiro, she's my-" Emily interjected.

"Forgive me," the girl with black hair apologized after facing to me. "My name is Aria Silvermoon. Emily's sister."

"Sister?"

"Well, we're not actually related by blood," the girl responded. "But we treat each other like sisters."

"I see. My name is..."

"Hiiro Akira, am I right?" Aria interjected. "Emily and I met when you were still meditating. She also told me about you."

"I... I see."

"Let's go home. There's something you need to know," Aria added.

***

On our way back home, Emily was silent. I tried talking to her, but she ignored me as if she didn't hear a thing. She never responded to any of my words.

Arriving at her house, I realized something.

Why does Emily live far from other necromancers? Why is she living in this secluded house, all by herself?

"Come, Hiiro," Aria spoke. Entering the door, Emily suddenly hugged me.

"Emily?"

I was confused, however, when I looked at her, she was crying. Seeing this, made my heart twinge. Gently, I hugged her back to give comfort.

"If you want someone to talk to, I'm here to listen." Looking into Emily's eyes, I patted her head, "I'm your friend right?" I asked while trying to crack a smile with my bony face. "You're not alone anymore."

The three of us went to the table and sat in the chairs. Emily seemed hesitant to speak.

"Should I speak to him?" Aria suggested holding Emily's hand.

"N-No," Emily softly replied. "I-I'll tell him"

Emily looked at me; she then braced herself and told me everything.

***

Night came, and I couldn't sleep. Technically, I don't need it. But to conserve my humanity, since there's still a chance that I would turn back to human again, I do it.

There were a lot of things going on inside my mind, and it kept bothering me ever since Emily and I talked to each other. Since she was sleeping, I decided to go outside the house. Aria also went home not long ago.

Darkness covered the sky as the clouds concealed the light coming from the stars and the moon. Climbing up to the roof of the house, my favorite place to pass time, the deafening silence struck me. It was perfect for reflecting the things I heard from Emily this morning.

It's been a long time since I went to the roof...

"So, Emily is not a full-blooded necromancer."

In order for someone to become a full-blooded necromancer, one of its parents must also be a full-blooded necromancer, so that the child would inherit the immortality. However, Emily is just a normal human. She was abandoned by her real parents. A woman found her in front of her house and decided to adopt her. But, adopting a human was a taboo in the village, so her foster mother hid her away.

As a human, she was inferior in terms of necromancy than the real necromancers. Because of this, she was bullied. There were only two friends she had. Aria... and the other was Thea.

Soon, the humans attacked the village. Emily saw the death of her mother in one of the encounters. Enraged, Emily released her uncontrolled magic, destroying a part of the village and killing both enemies and some necromancers, including Thea's parents. Eventually, her mother's secret was revealed, and Emily was banished from the village to live in the forest.

Days passed, Emily found a book and read a spell that could bring back a person to life. She tried to learn a forbidden spell called reanimation so she could revive her mother. With the book's help, she also learned how to use some necromancy using mana. However, when she checked her grave, her mother's remains went missing.

However, that was not the only thing in my mind.

"Pathetic... You are weak... Just another loser..." A voice from a recent memory.

"She died because you're too weak... What kind of genius are you? You can't even protect the one you love... You killed her... You murderer..." A memory from a long time ago.

"I'm sorry... Hiiro."

"Dammit," I said, gripping my right hand while gritting my teeth.

***

Morning came, and the light from the sun woke me up. I fell asleep on the roof.

Climbing down, after I opened the door of the house, I saw Emily standing with a determined look.

"Please, cut my hair," she pleaded.

The Japanese woman has long been associated with long, meticulously kept hair. "A woman's hair is her life. Cutting it is akin to carving out her heart." This exaggerates, the purpose of the great importance given to hair as a symbol of womanhood. Thus, a woman of high status cutting her hair, such as to disguise herself to escape villains after her life, is a dramatic, perhaps even desperate act.

When done out of volition, however, represents one's resolve to make a dramatic break with her own past: to divide time between "the old me" and "the current me."

This was what I told Emily when we were training magic.

***

"Are you sure you want to keep your bangs this long?" I asked while lifting her fringe.

"N-no, it's okay. I-I can't show my whole face since I'll be too embarrassed to do it," she replied while making a downward gaze.

"Why? You're actually cute you know."

"Hawawawa," she reddens like a tomato while covering her face with her fringe.

"Is there something wrong?"

"S-sorry. I-I'm fine," she replied with a very faint voice.

She's probably embarrassed by being called cute. I'm not lying though. She really is cute.

"H-Hiiro. Y-you know...I always wanted to look for my mother," Emily said with her hands trembling. "But, I was so scared of leaving this place. I was always thinking, 'what if I fail' or 'what if I couldn't find her.' But when you said to me that I'm not alone, that you are my friend, I was happy. I know looking for her should be my problem alone, but I also know that I can't do it by myself," she added. "Hiiro... W-would you help me look for my mother?"

Moving in front of her, I knelt with my right leg, looked her in the eye and said, "Of course. I will."

There's no way I can leave this girl alone.

***

The next day we went to a nearby village to ask for information about Emily's mother. Looking at the place, the houses were designed like those in the Earth's Middle Ages. Most were made of bricks with a chimney on top. However, the males wore black pants, shoes and clothes beneath their long sleeves. On the other hand, the females wore a tightly laced corset over a bodice or chemisette and paired them with a skirt adorned with numerous embroideries and trims. Their attires were far from the clothing of the Medieval Ages.

I've seen this type of clothing before. These are clothing from the Victorian period. What's going on? I thought I was in the Medieval Ages.

Unlike Earth, there was something more different about the people living in that place: they had horns. Once, I talked to a merchant with spiral horns like that of a goat's.

Is this the appearance of demons in this world?

Walking, I noticed a poster posted on a wall of a building. Apparently, it was a wanted poster.

"Black Wolf Ciel... Wanted for abducting the princess of Gapan."

"Gapan?"

"I-it's the country of the elves," Emily replied.

Country of the elves? So they also exist in this world.

"Wait a minute... I can read this? Also, these letters look oddly familiar."

Time passed, I was looking at the demon kids holding hand in hand with their parents.

"I hope they're just fine. It's been so long since I last saw them," I said, looking down at my hand. "Don't worry, father, mother. I will definitely find a way to go back to Earth."

"Kyaaa," Emily screamed. When I looked at her I noticed a man running away from her, holding her bag.

"Water Whip!!!"

A lasso made of water shot towards the man. I then grabbed the other end and pulled him back. Running towards him, I grabbed Emily's bag. People who seemed to be policemen soon appeared and apprehended the thief. After that incident, Emily and I asked for more information regarding the remains of her mother. However, the day finished with us getting nothing.

Weeks passed, and I kept on practicing magic. Emily and I scheduled to look for her mother's remains every four days. We went to different villages near our place. At first, I thought that looking for her mother would be hard, considering that her flesh should've been decayed. But Emily said that a necromancer's body would never rot.

It's already been almost a month and we still haven't found any lead.

It was nighttime. Lying down on the roof once more, I reflected on the things that happened...

"It's a good thing that I'm progressing in magic, but, I'm still too weak."

Come to think of it, when I was alive I used to climb to our roof to code programs with my laptop.

"Though my mother would always scold me for doing that since the neighbors would call her saying there's a ghost in the roof."

I really miss programming.

As I looked at the sky, I thought of something. "Hmm. Come to think of it. Rune writing is quite similar to programming."

Instead of words just like in coding, rune writing uses symbols but the idea behind it works the same way. Each of these symbols from a rune corresponds to a function or attribute of a spell. An example would be a certain symbol on a fireball rune, which literally means to produce a small fire.

"I wonder if I can incorporate programming in a rune, like a loop for example. Hmmm... I'll experiment with it later."

In computer programming, using a loop means repeating a certain function until it meets a condition. In layman's terms, it is to repeat an action until you order it to stop.