Tuah

"What do you really like about Norman, frankly speaking?" asked Michelle, when Ally and I were going to her spa for a foot massage. I told her from A to Z as I was on cloud nine from the massage.

"Well if you really want to know what I loved about Norman, come here let me tell you about it. Be patient as it's going to be a long list though. I loved him because he was charismatic, helpful, always calm and collected, he spoke with a low, relaxing tone. Uhh his deep voice always gave me some kind of feeling inside! His skin was dark, clean and healthy. He's tall. He's got beautiful eyes, masculine arms and shoulders that you would love to be wrapped around them and feel safe. That wavy, shiny hair...He's pretty much a germophobe but not that critical honestly. So you can imagine how he always going to make sure he is clean as well as his surrounding. His house was squeaky clean let me tell you this! He's got good taste in choosing his outfits and decorating his apartment, and last but not least, I felt like you have got to work extra extra miles before you can really win his heart.

But anyway I did not have to do anything to score his attention back then honestly, because excusé moi, yours truly was the one who got chased first hahaha... I remember how he took the first step to get to know me, and I could never felt luckier. I mean, there he was, being the fantasy prince charming to so many girls there, and yet he chose me. So I did feel lucky to be the flower chosen by the king bee," without me realized, my voice was quite on the high side and some of the staffs and guests in the spa could hear that and holding their laughs.

"Oh wow. Look at this Cinderella talking about her prince charming. Her eyes went twinkle twinkle little stars talking about him!" Michelle interrupted and bit her lips.

"What? No. I'm not! I'm just being happy to remember all these memories."

"The list was longer than China's wall, but still denying... Oh please Marina!" added Ally, backing Michelle up.

"Umm, did I?" I asked the staff who was working on my feet.

"Yes..." she said and slowly nodded.

"Oh my! This is embarrassing!" I covered my face with both my palms.

"So how is it now? Eddie or Norman?" asked Michelle, point blank.

"Hmmm...there's no way I can accept Norman back into my life. No way," I shook my head.

"So you are serious with Eddie now?"

"Hmmm..."

"Oh come on enough with the hmmm already..." Ally interrupted. He's clearly not feeling my answer this time.

"Shhh...a call coming in!" my phone rang, after few hours of silence.

"Marina. I bet you know it already Diana Sinclair is coming down to Kuala Lumpur again soon?" Daniel's voice resonated from the other end.

"Diana Sinclair? Umm..." Hearing that name made me restless. I knew she was going to come back to KL somewhen, because she had many plans here postponed since the emergency call that required her to immediately leave for the states.

"Yeah. I knew she's going to come back here, but I have no idea when"

"Well now you know. Rumour has it she'll be in town next week." added Daniel.

"Next week!?" I got very excited with that news. So excited it could be heard in my voice.

"All right… all right… someone sounds very excited she needs to calm down!" Daniel teased me.

"Oh...too obvious? Hahaha..." we both laughed from both ends of the call.

The moment Daniel hang up the phone, there was this huge fire of curiosity flaming through my veins. I was quickly on the move to find the latest thing I could find about Diana. And as usual, thanks to Uncle Google for being the actual one who did that for me.

The first searching however brought me to a story about her former husband, Mirza Adam Sinclair, instead of about her coming down to KL soon.

'I never regret marriage with Diana- Mirza Adam Sinclair'

Somehow I clicked on the headline.

When asked if he ever regretted the now broken marriage with Diana Sinclair or seen that as a mistake, he strongly denied it.

"We have never even been on each others' throat. We made a decision to go separate ways because we felt like our lifestyles were no longer on the same page."

In fact he was touched that Diana still kept the surname to introduce herself to the public.

"He still loves you Diana," I said to myself after reading it, for a couple times.

Since the last time I met with Diana, I have been reading about her a lot. Her career journey, all the controversies around her as well as the choices she made in life. Prior to that I have only seen her here and there in the media promoting her books not knowing who and how she was in real life. But since that life changing interview with her, I started to admire her a lot. I took a deep dive into her life and always imagined how it felt like, to be in her shoes.

'Maybe I should call or text her' I thought to myself, searching for her number in my phone. 'Uhm...Maybe I shouldn't' Suddenly I felt it's not necessary. Frankly speaking I was still pretty much intimidated by her. And of course, I did not want to annoy her with a casual call or text like this. But then I thought, ugh it's just my feeling. I knew it came from this low self esteem feeling that I had, as a result of me comparing myself to her. Putting aside all that feeling and low confidence crap, I took my phone again and texted her.

-Hi Diana. Heard you are heading this way soon?-

I kept waiting for her reply but none came in. So I dropped it and continued with works. About an hour later, I received a call from a private number. Feeling hesitant, I answered it anyway thinking that it could be Diana Sinclair.

"Hi Marina..." a soft, seductive voice was on the other end. 'Yes! I knew it she's going to contact me back!'

"You know who I am?" she's being trivial with me.

"Hmm...Diana?Diana Sinclair?" I pretended making a guess, eventhough I knew that was her.

"Wow! I can't believe it! Is my voice that predictable?"

"In contrary, it's that distinctive voice that make you recognizable. How are you?"

"I'm good...what about you?"

"Never better!"

"Ooh yes I can hear it from that voice. I'm sure your face is glowing too! I mean...come on! The highest sales in Malaysia's publication history I heard! My pores would be beaming lights!"

"Well I'm sure they are, after those multiple achievement awards probably wrapped in your arms right now."

"Hahahaha...Nah...they are in my Miami house," she laughed.

"Oh by the way, I think we should meet while I'm here in KL now. What say you?"

"What? You are in KL already?"

"It's been five days now..." She added. "This time I really need a privacy. So, are we meeting or not? Don't forget you owe me something! I made Hey sold like hot cakes!" she joked.

"Although you had been difficult at the time..." I teased her back.

"Well. It was intentional actually. It was an act!" explained Diana slowly, trying to rationalize all those diva moments before this.

"I don't think so. I don't think it was an act" I teased her again.

"I swear it was..." She firmly denied my words.

And for a moment we kept pulling each others' legs.

"Oh enough Marina...This will take forever! It's hard being a celebrity. People will not believe what we say, when the truth is, we are as pure as a baby..." we both laughed at what she just said, as we found it unnecessarily funny and such an over the top comparison.

We kept talking for a few minutes more about our plan to meet with each other. One after one place were suggested and declined by her before I finally understood it that she really needed the privacy. We eventually made a decision to meet up tomorrow night at the Dr Love.

Diana heard the first time about Dr Love from our previous meeting. I told her about that place and its unique concept and that had triggered her to pay the cafe a visit someday. That was why she agreed to see me there tomorrow.

"Not bad," replied Diana as soon as I asked her about Dr. Love. Her eyes were scanning the place like a hawk, analysing every inch of every corner. We ordered the drinks and reciprocally communicated like we have known each other for the longest time. But along the session, something has actually caught my eyes from the moment she arrived and took a seat there- a passport sized photo of a man in a transparent file that she brought with her.

'Handsome' I thought to myself. But it didn't bring me to ask her more about the picture.

Instead, we were talking about something, or rather someone that made Diana feeling anxious. We we talking about Mirza Adam Sinclair.

"I have just read something about Mirza."

"You have? What happened to him? I'm sorry I don't really read online news," Diana said.

"Nothing...he's just talking about you"

"Oh really? What did he say?"

"He said he never regretted the marriage with you and that he was touched that you are still using his surname up until today," I told her word by word.

Diana did not speak a thing for a moment. Then she smiled and said "He better not or else..." and left the statement hanging.

"Or else...?" I tried to make her continue the statement.

"Nothing. It's just...You know Marina, we both started very well with each other. But as the time went by, the reality was no longer the same. And it has also changed who we were as a person. He became this kind of husband that was..." Diana seemed struggling to find the right word for it. "Not normal," she said and laughed. "And I became no longer the ideal one for him. And so we had to take everything in the most realistic and wisest way that we could."

"...by calling it quit?" I continued, fishing her to explain further about it.

"Yes," she nodded slowly.

"Have you ever tried to hold on and just brace it all?"

"I have. But it's easier said than done. And so for the sake of our future, and our love, we decided to go separate ways."

"Are you saying you both divorced because you loved each other?" I was confused by what Diana said. It did not make any sense to me.

"I know...it doesn't make any sense to lots of people. And so they came out with all sorts of assumption and stories about it. But it is what is."

I believed Diana was referring to the rumours about the divorce, that it was because one of them cheated the other.

"What about you, Marina?" she suddenly switched the limelight onto me. I could see, she was getting tired of just talking about herself.

"Hmmm...Complicated." I said briefly.

"Wow. A playgirl with a complicated situation! That's rare! I thought it's easiest for you girls, because the choices are many. Just point a finger on one!" Diana gave me a cheeky smile.

"Playgirl? Oh please Diana. That word and me is like Britney and Christina!" I laughed, being defensive followed by her, who thought my comparison was funny.

"Diana. May I ask you something?" I asked her after we both stopped laughing.

"Yes?"

"Who is that guy?" I pointed my finger onto the picture in her file.

"Oh, this one?" She took the picture out of it.

"Yes. I can't help to notice about that picture since you arrived. You are taking nomination now? For a new boyfriend?" I teased her.

"Hahaha! That's so funny. This is Tuah. Now take a closer look at him, Marina."

Diana handed out the picture to me.

"Hmm not bad!" I said sincerely. "Who is this guy, Diana?" I gave her a cheeky look.

"For your information, he is working in Lataya Food as an assistant researcher."

"Lataya Food?"

"Yes. Maybe you are unfamiliar to that name, but we are one of the key investors in that company."

'Hmm..WE? I know by that she meant ME,' my heart said.

"Judging from the name, obviously it's a food and beverage related company, no?"

"That's right. But for the time being we are just focusing on producing chocolates only.

"Where is Lataya's head quarters?"

"Chicago"

"I see...What's up with the picture then?

"Oh. It's like this Marina... This Tuah guy is no longer with us. He's been back in Malaysia for good. So we are now scouting for a replacement," explained Diana. I started to understand the whole story now. Except for the fact she was bringing his photo, like, why? Are they looking for a similar looking guy? Or this job required certain type of physical attributes? I was confused.

"So have you found the new guy?" I asked Diana.

"Not yet. Still looking"

"A job like that is highly sought after. You will find his replacement in no time." I added.

Diana did not respond with anything. She was having something in mind, obviously. Her eyes were all on Tuah's photo in my hand.

"Diana? Hello..." I waved my hand over her face. She was frozen like a mannequin there.

"Yes, Marina"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm good. Sorry my mind was taken away by something. Where were we just now?" she asked me before sipping the hot tea in front of her.

"Tuah's job," I said. She took a deep breath and continued talking.

"Oh yes...that. To be honest it's just a small position. But if it falls into a right person's hand who knows how to use it to expand his networking and to think outside the box, it can open doors to so many great things later," explain Diana enthusiastically.

"That sounds like my current job. Minus that network expanding part," I interrupted and laughed.

"Well that means you need something new. To explore a whole new world."

"I mean I knew it for quite some time. But it's easier said than done, you know. There are just so many things to consider of."

"Oh, really? Like what?" Diana gave me a dead stare. It looked like she really wanted to know about it.

"It's hard for me to explain about it right now. But all I can say is yes, I am actually looking for a better opportunity," I told her that cautiously, not to overspill my vision to her. Not that I did not trust her, but I was just not ready yet.

"What if...the opportunity that you are talking about is right here in front of your eyes now?" Diana asked me.

"What do you mean?"

"What if I recommend you to the executives in Lataya as Tuah's replacement?"

"Me???" my eyes were probably getting slightly out of their sockets as I shouted that to Diana. I couldn't believe what she's just said to me.

"Mmm...mmm..." Diana nodded.

"You want me to replace Tuah in Lataya?" I asked her once again and she replied me with the same nods and smiles.

"Tell me you are not joking, Diana?"

"Why would I? This is not something I'd joke around. I myself will be recommending your name to them soon."

"But why me?"

"Simply because I think you can do it."

"We just met for a few times and you know my compatibility with the job already?"

Diana was not ready with that question. She was trying to rationalize what she just said.

"I have asked Zara Murad, James and Daniel about you, to be honest."

"You asked Zara Murad, James and Daniel about me??!" My face frowned as I said that.

"Well don't get it wrong. I wasn't stalking you or anything like that. Frankly speaking, after we last met for the interview, I thought you have a lot of potential. So I talked to Daniel a few days after that and asked him a lot of things. And it seems like you are one of his favourites. All great feedbacks. So were from James."

"They told me everything about you..." Diana gave me a cheeky look.

Everything? Well I was not worry about James. But I was intensely wondering what Daniel have said about me?

"But hey! Don't tell Daniel that I am actually trying to steal you from him all right!?" Diana burst into laughters.

"What about Zara Murad? What did she tell you about me?"

"Well she didn't respond me back," said Diana.

"Phew!!! I wonder just what would she tell you about me."

"Well, I wasn't really looking forward for her response anyway. After all that has happened at Nona Silk, I know she would talk shit about you."

"I believe so. Oh can we not talk about her anymore? I feel nauseas!"

"As you wish! So, how is it Marina? What do you think about Lataya?"

I took a very deep breath, thinking about this surprising but possibly life changing offer from Diana.

"I don't know. I..." I paused, looking for the right words to say trying not to sound like I was declining the offer or anything that would make her think less of me. That I was scared of moving forward.

"This is going to be a really great platform for you, Marina. I think you have no reason to say 'no' to it."

"Oh, no. I'm not declining! I just...need some time to think about everything."

"Hmmm...let me guess. It's about love, am I right?

I lost for words. All I did was blinking my eyes and then staring on the glass on the table.

Diana was just smiling.

"Isn't this life weird? Sometimes we are confused, as to whether or not we can control our own destiny. Many said our capability is limited because it's all controlled by Him the Almighty. But we know it very well that we are the one responsible for the choice we make in the past, now and in the future. I don't know my future either, what is destined for me. But at least I try my best not to get controlled by the situation. It's so hard when it's the situation that does the commanding, Marina. Make sure you command them, not the other way around."

I was just smiling after listening to those words of wisdom from Diana. I knew she's trying to tell me something with it and I could feel her sincerity in telling me that.

"You don't have to say 'yes' to me now. I'm not going to push you to accept it either. The decision is all yours. Just go back and sleep with it first, okay?"

I kept smiling and nodding, showing her my understanding.