Chapter 3: An Ugly Voice

It was early in the day of the boys' first concert and they were all in a practice room working on their choreography. I sat in a corner, watching and periodically handing everyone their water bottles. "Alright guys, let's do one more run through. Then we can call it a day and get some rest before tonight." Hobi called out.

They did one last run through of Blood, Sweat, and Tears and I handed them their water bottles one last time. "You guys have nothing to worry about. It looked perfect." I said as they were all sprawled out on the floor, huffing. "Nowhere near perfect, but it's good enough." Taehyung said in between breaths. I just shook my head.

"Alright, let's go replenish your energy then. Time for ramen!" I exclaimed, ushering the boys out of the practice room and towards the kitchen. Immediately Jin went to the stove, putting a few pans on and pulling some noodles out of the cupboard. "Put me to work, Chef Jin!" I teased, standing near the counter. He smiled and said, "Can you chop all the veggies up for me?" "Sure." I said, grabbing the carrots and onions from the other side of the counter and going to work.

A little while later, Jin and I had produced eight bowls of ramen. "Let's eat!" Jimin said, childlike as I set the last bowl on the table. It was now silent except for the content sounds of eating. "This is yummy, Jin!" I said. He chuckled and said, "Well I had a good helper." I just smiled as we all finished up our bowls. I took them to the sink and started to clean up.

Namjoon came to help me rinse the bowls and put them in the dishwasher while the rest of the boys went to go nap before the show. "Thanks, Joon." I said, patting his arm. "Go nap with the others and I'll be upstairs to get ready with you guys later." I continued. "Okay, see you later." He replied, leaving.

I sat down at the table and pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. It was probably a good time to check in with my father. I dialed and waited as the the phone rang. "Hey, kid." My dad answered. "Hi, dad. Just checking in." I said back. "I'm assuming everything is going well." He said, making small talk. "Yeah, dad. I'm having a lot of fun here." I responded. "Okay, well thanks for calling. I have a meeting soon." He said in lieu of goodbye, cutting off the awkward conversation. "Okay, bye." I hung up the phone and sighed, getting up to go hang out with the boys while they were in makeup.

I sat on a couch in the room the boys were getting their hair and outfits done in, watching with fascination. A lot went into getting them ready for their shows. Suddenly Yoongi started sillily singing "Eyes, Nose, Lips" and then Taehyung and Jungkook joined, singing badly on purpose. Everyone started cracking up, relieving tensions before they performed.

As always, their concert was absolutely amazing. I got to watch from side stage this time and give words of encouragement when they would come backstage. We were all very tired when we got back to the hotel and all crashed in our respective rooms.

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The next morning I was taking a shower and as usual, I was singing. It was the only place I did. I happened to be singing an English version of The Truth Untold this time. "But I know your warmth is the closest to reality. The flowers that you picked for me, reaching for your hand." I sang.

I turned off the water and continued singing as I dried off and got dressed. "But this is my fate. Don't smile on me, light on me. No, I can never take another step to you." There was a few thumps at the door and I looked at it quizzically. "Ow, Jimin!" I heard someone whisper.

I sighed as I flung the door open, revealing three pairs of guilty looking eyes. Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, and Hobi must have been elsewhere. "Uh, what's going on?" I asked, looking between them all for an answer. Jungkook was the one who answered, giving me a big bunny grin. "You can sing!" He replied, playfully. "Um..yeah, but I suck" I said, nervously looking down at my feet. Suddenly I was fighting the urge to cry and pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes.

I ran into my room and unfortunately didn't get my door closed all the way in my rush. "Noona, you have a beautiful voice." Jimin said sincerely, sitting next to me on the bed. "Thank you, Chim, but I know that's not true. When I was small, my father told me not to sing because it was an ugly sound." I said, succumbing to my tears.

Jimin grabbed my arms and turned me to look at him. "Fay-noona, that is seriously not true. I often think my own voice is not good enough and yours is definitely not ugly! Believe me." He wiped a few tears from my cheeks with his thumb. "My mother's voice was beautiful, mine isn't..." I trailed off, softly.

My mother died when I was five and she was always singing. Whether it was just around the house or singing me to sleep. I recalled the memory that changed everything.

I was six and quietly singing at the dinner table. "Be quiet, Fay." My father said, sternly. "Why daddy?" I questioned, innocently. "Because your singing is ugly, nothing like your mother's." He answered, bitterly. My little heart broke and I never sang in his presence or anyone else's ever again.

Jimin gave an exasperated sigh but just pulled my head onto his shoulder, settling in next to me and comforting me until my crying subsided.