What the Ding Dang Doodle is This?

I stepped into a dense forest. Thick trees with blue leaves towered over me. I reached out to touch one and found that the bark was smooth, like a chalkboard. When I pulled my hand away, my fingers were stained brown.

Frowning, I wiped my hands on my pants and moved on.

As I moved farther into the forest, the trees seemed to close in on me. The feeling that someone was watching me increased as I walked. A faint breeze blew by, ruffling my hair.

"What is this place?" I muttered.

Briiing! [The Player is in a 1-Star Forest Dungeon.]

"Well, yeah, I know. I just want to know what this place is."

[A 1-Star Forest Dungeon.]

"So...did that door just teleport me here? What happened to the rest of the building?"

[The building is the 1-Star Forest Dungeon.]

"Alright, fine. 1-Star Forest Dungeon is the answer to everything. What am I supposed to do?"

Before the system could answer me, a green blur flew out of the trees and tackled me.

"Ack-get off me!"

The green thing clung to me, screeching in my face as it dug its claws into my arms. I gritted my teeth and shoved it off of me.

It screeched again and flung itself back on top of me. As soon as it landed, it started slapping me like an enraged 5-year-old.

Briiing! [Player has been attacked by a level one 1-Star Goblin. The Player has lost 1 health. 99/100 HP remaining.]

[Player has been attacked by a level one 1-Star Goblin. The Player has lost 1 health. 98/100 HP remaining.]

[Player has been attacked by a level one 1-Star Goblin. The Player has lost 1 health. 97/100 HP remaining.]

[Player has been attacked by a level one 1-Star Goblin. The Player has lost 1 health. 97/100 HP remaining.]

[Player has been attacked by a level one 1-Star Goblin. The Player has lost 1 health. 96/100 HP remaining.]

[Player has been attacked by a level one 1-Star Goblin. The Player has lost 1 health. 95/100 HP remaining.]

"Not helping!" I shouted. I grabbed the green things head and tossed it away like it was nothing but a toy. It hit a nearby tree with a thump.

The goblin didn't even seem startled. It got up and ran toward me.

Now, at this part, you might be thinking that I, being the brave and valiant person that I am, would've held my ground and fought the goblin.

You'd be wrong.

I turned tail as soon as I saw it get up. Screw that brave and valiant thing! It's a freaking goblin! A green monster the size of a 5-year-old with sharp claws? No siree, I am out.

Running blindly through the forest, I bumped into trees and tripped over their roots. But I didn't slow down once. I was going to find my way out of this thing if it was the last thing I did!

Briiing! [The Player cannot leave the dungeon until he has reached the Silver Rank.]

"I don't care! If I'm gonna die, why should I continue with this mission?"

Briiing! [Is the Player acting cowardly?]

"Heck yeah, I am!"

[The Game Master does not tolerate cowardly Players. You will be killed immediately if you do not complete this mission.]

I slowed down and leaned against a tree. "Wait, what? Killed?"

[Yes.]

I glanced behind me. The goblin was nowhere to be seen. Sliding down to the ground, I thought about my options.

Leave and have the Game Master kill me. Or I could stay and be killed by the goblin. Fan-freaking-tastic.

[The Player should not be worried. He has many skills at his disposal.]

"Right, but I don't know how to use them."

[Say the Skill name and use it however you wish.]

"It's that simple?"

[Indeed. As you get familiar with your Skills, you'll be able to use them on a whim.]

"That sounds good..."

I opened up the Skills tab and found the Skill I wanted to test.

"Mend!"

[The Player has used the Skill Mending. 1 HP gained; 96/100 HP. 2 MP lost; 18/20 MP remaining.]

"I don't have much MP...I've got to use the Skill another four times before I'm fully healed..."

[The Player currently has 350 Stat points. The system suggests he uses some to max out his Stats.]

Oh! I forgot about those!

I opened up my Stat points and immediately maxed their levels.

»Strength(STR): Level 10/10

•Attack Damage: 10

»Defense(DEF): Level 10/10

•Attack Defense: 10

»Dexterity(DEX): Level 10/10

•Dodge Speed: 10

»Constitution(CON): Level 10/10

•Stamina: 10

•HP Recovery Rate: 10 HP per minute

»Intelligence: Level 10/10

•Intelligence: 10

•MP Capacity: 100

»Luck: Level 10/10

•Critical Hit Chance: 10%

»Speed(SPE): Level 10/10

•Movement Speed: 10

•Attack Speed: 10

»Wisdom(WIS): Level 10/10

•Common Sense: 10

•MP Recovery Rate: 10 per minute

"Hmm. Hey, system, will my max level remain at ten?"

Briiing! [A Player's max Stat level increases by ten when they reach level 20, 30, 40, and so on. Players receive 10 Stat points every time they level up to help them achieve max Stat level.]

"What about Skill points?"

Briiing! [You don't need to know right now.]

"Why not?"

[Is learning about points really important right now? You have a monster to fight.]

"Right...Will you tell me later?"

[...Yes. The Player should be ready to fight at any moment; the Dungeon is a dangerous place.]

That pause was suspicious, but the system was right. I had to get ready. Clenching my fists, I turned and walked back the way I came.

It's goblin slaying time.