4 11:35
She was screaming at the top of her lungs as if she was being fried alive in oil. She was completely fine a moment ago but it was like something inside of her snapped. The wine bottles were being thrown against the wall and shattered by the minute. It was your mom, she was freaking out and you didn't know why.
"Mom!" you shouted from your crouched position on the floor.
"No!"
She was a mess. Her eye bags were a dark color, she was filthy-- she hadn't washed in days. She was far from okay.
"No!" She yelled again, there were dried tear stains on her cheeks and fresh tears were about to be shed by you.
You didn't know how to calm her down, if that was even possible. You were lost.
She stopped as if she finally realized something. Her head snapped up fast, looking you dead in the eyes as you sniffled.
"It was you!" She screeched. "All your fault, all your's!"
She came stumbling towards you and you moved back to your crouching position as you choked on tears. As usual.
I gasp loudly as I sit up, my hands gripping the bed sheets. There are tears dripping down my cheeks and I quickly wipe them away. The hammering in my chest is loud and booming in my ears and I force myself to breath even though it's the hardest thing to do right now.
In and out.
In and out.
In and out.
I slowly release the sheets from my grip. Squinting my eyes shut, I beg myself not to even think about that horrid day, it brings back to much bad memories. I feel the tears building up again. I sniffle then shake my head, trying to bring myself back to reality.
"Okay no," I whisper to myself. "No more thinking just breathe. It's a new day, just breathe."
Quietly, I shift out of the blankets and smooth them out. I walk over to the windows in my feet clad in socks and abruptly pull open the curtains. The sun's rays burn my eyes as I squint and open the windows, letting the fresh hair in.
Rolling out my shoulders to relieve some tension, I sit on the edge of the bed and take in the moment of silence. The breeze coming through the window plays with my hair and my lips curve into the tiniest smile. My thoughts are interrupted when Jacob enter's the room.
"Morni- hey, are you okay?" Concern instantly takes over his face and I feel guilty for making him feel that way.
Jacob moves over to my side and his hand cups my jaw as his eyes intently inspect every inch of my face. He frowns slightly with the look of concentration on his face. His eyes are locked with mine.
"Your eyes are red. You look like you've been crying." He whispers. "Have you?"
There's a moment of silence between us and I decide whether or not to tell him the truth. He's already letting me stay here and if I tell him about the dream, he's going to want to help and I can't have that. I'm not a charity case.
I can't tell him. I shouldn't.
"No." I lie through my teeth, "My eyes just look like this in the morning."
Jacob stares at me, waiting for me to crack under the pressure but I don't. Eventually, he sighs and leans back a little bit.
"Okay."
I let out a breath of relief when he backs down. Jacob is smart, if he even thought for a moment that I was lying, he'd interrogate me until I break. I can just tell.
He rakes a hand through my brown hair but it quickly gets stuck when his hand comes in contact with a knot in my hair. The same time I wince in embarrassment, Jacob chokes on a chuckle.
I snort. "Yeah, I'm in desperate need of a hair brush."
Jacob laughs wholeheartedly. My eyes are fixated on him and I watch as his eyes crinkle up and almost disappear. He's dressed in in a casual grey sweatpants and a loose white T-shirt, if he leans down enough I can see his abs and the thought of it makes the blood rush to my cheek.
He exits the room and quickly returns with a hairbrush, handing it over to me. Gingerly, I take the brush from him, all the while avoiding his lingering gaze.
"Thank you." I whisper.
"Your welcome. I left out some clean clothes for you in the bathroom. You can take a shower while I make us some breakfast?" He suggests.
"Yeah."
"Great." He winks before leaving the room and me breathless.
Sighing to myself, I exit the room and walk straight into the bathroom. Immediately, I notice the aesthetic of the bathroom. All the way from the floor to the wall is covered in beautiful beige tiles with a few brown tiles in between. The ceiling has an amazing carving in it, I could stare at it for hours.
A pile of clothes neatly folded are resting on the toilet seat. They consist of a light pink tank top, which probably goes until my knees. There's a pair of blue shorts that I'll probably have to roll up a bit. My hands stop moving when I touch the grey lace bra that was at the bottom of the clothes. There's a dust of pink on cheeks that deepen to a dark red when I reach the grey lace panties.
Where did he find these?
Hot and flustered, I turn on the shower and strip from my clothes while I wait for the water to heat up. Once it's hot enough, I enter and let the water do it's thing. My mind gets clouded when I remember how Jacob smirked at me and it melts my insides. This hot water isn't helping either.
I lean my head against the glass door of the shower. Stop, I think to myself, you're only here for a while until you get back on your feet. You're not going to crush on a man you met just yesterday.
********
Water drips from my hair and onto my face as I tied it into a tight bun.
Taking the towel and dabbing the drips of water away, I sigh happily to myself. The shower was. . . euphoric. The hot water felt like a hundred hands scrubbing my skin gently. The body wash was bit more masculine than the body wash I'd normally use but nevertheless, it smelt amazing and left my skin feeling soft.
I rinse my mouth from the minty toothpaste that's left in my mouth and wipe it clean. I throw my clothes in the hamper, deciding to wash them out later.
The moment I open the bathroom door, the cold hits my skin with a tingle. I jump down the stairs with a skip in my step and for once I don't have to be afraid of walking around with the fear of my mom coming out and attacking me.
When I get downstairs, I was hoping to catch Jacob in the middle of an embarrassing act but what I get, makes me stand still and watch silently.
In the kitchen, stands Jacob with an apron wrapped around his waist. He has his concentrated look on his again as he flips the pancake over. A lock of his blonde hair falls in front of his face and I stop myself from wanting to brush it back.
"When you're done eye-raping me, get us some plates would you?"
Stunned, my eyes widen. My mouth open and closes as I try to think of an excuse for being caught. Jacob all but smirks at my state and I snap out of my reverie, walking over to him. I slap him on shoulder, surprising both me and him.
"I was not eye-raping you." I scoff.
He snorts. "Sure, I believe you."
Rolling my eyes at his comment, I look through the cupboards trying to find the plates. Eventually when I find it, it's in the highest cupboard, forcing me to stand on my tippy toes. My hands grasp at the plates but are too short to grab them.
Huffing, I'm about to give up when I feel a presence behind me. My back is caving into Jacob's chest and I look up to see him taking out the plates himself and then placing them down on the counter in front of me.
He chuckles to himself. "Look at you, so short."
"I'm not short, my height is just cute."
Jacob laughs as he delicately places three pancakes on each plate, handing the one plate to me. Shaking my head with the tiniest smile on my face, I walk pass him on my way to the couch when Jacob stops me short.
His arm is wrapped around my waist and my feet halt. His face is then buried into the crook of my neck, the strands of his hair tickling me.
"W-what are you doing?" I stutter, clutching my plate tightly.
"Nothing." He breathes in and then out. His hot breath, making me bite my lip hard.
"It's just that, you smell exactly like me."
"Y-yeah. I hope you don't mind."
"No. I don't." He whispers, pulling back and looking into my eyes.
Moments go by where we just look into each other's eyes, before Jacob abruptly clears his throat and blinks himself back into reality. His arm goes limp and he walks to the couch, laughing nervously.
"Normally I have cold pizza for breakfast and not pancakes so please, dig in." He says.
My mind is brain puree. The wheels in my head have stopped turning and so has my breathing. I can't wrap my thoughts around how Jacob's attitude changes in ten seconds. He was sniffing my neck a minute ago and now pretends it never happened.
"Y-yeah, it looks delicious by the way." I respond.
For now, I'm going to do the same thing as Jacob. Pretend it never happened.
*******
Time flew by and I am still seated on Jacob's couch. After the awkward breakfast, Jacob cleared his throat and left the house, saying he had to meet with the rest of the boy band at the production company. The moment he went out the door, I let out a breath of relief.
I could finally relax.
Jacob has a smart and before he left, he showed the ropes of it. So, I'm roaming through YouTube looking for a few bloopers to watch and cheer me up. As I'm scrolling through the home page, a name catches my eye and I even sit up from surprise.
NYC First Death Video
The cover shows Jacob in a black suit and two more guys that I recognize from when we were driving in the car. I click on it before I even think. The video starts and excites erupts within me and move to sit on the table so I can be closer to the screen.
The music starts and goosebumps appear on my bare arms. The seven of starts dancing and the man in the middle grabs my attention. My eyes widen at their immaculate dancing and their amazing voices. A blush covers my cheeks when Jacob starts contemporary dancing across the stage.
He's incredible. They're all are.
The front door opens up and Jacob walks on, his fingers tapping rapidly on his phone. I jump up from the table and jump over the couch, landing in front of him. He steps back, a bewildered look on his face.
"Wha- how- uh." Is all that comes out of my mouth.
"Use your words, honey." Jacob says, as his hands clasp my shoulders and shake them. He chuckles at my state, finding it amusing. I scowl, making a 'tsk' sound and push Jacob away.
I repeat my actions, jumping over the couch then move to the table, standing on it. I point to the TV that shows the end of the First Death music video and then point over to Jacob who has a blank face on.
"How I did not know about this?" I ask.
"First, get off the table." Jacob commands with a tiny smile on his face. I roll my eyes but comply.
"Second, you never asked." He says smugly.
"Oh, do not play that card on me, smart- ass. This song blew my mind."
Jacob blushes and looks down finding his feet interesting. The corner of my lips tug up and before I know it, there's a full blown smile on my face. This is the first time I made him blush and see him do it.
"Aw, look at you blushing. So cute." I coo, ruffling his hair.
His blonde locks fall through my fingers like silk. Jacob growls, surprising me when he grabs my wrist and stops me from ruffling his hair.
"I'm not cute." He says, squinting his brown eyes at me.
"Sure I believe you." I mock him.
Jacob shakes his head and chuckles. "Hey, you should put your converse on. We're going somewhere."
With that, he rushes upstairs taking two steps at a time. Dumbfounded, I find my converse at the back door and slip them on and sit on the couch again waiting for him. About twenty minutes later, Jacob comes downstairs and my eyes pop out of their sockets.
"We're going to leave with you looking like that?" I ask.
Jacob comes to the ground floor and stops in front of a mirror, styling his hair a little more. "Yes, problem?"
"Umm, I don't know, maybe that you're making me look like a slob." I gesture to my clothes then his outfit.
Jacob's dressed in a white tank top following a black jacket with studs on. A chain dangles around his neck and a pair of black shaded glasses on his head. His legs are covered with a pair of black jeans accentuating around his thighs, making my mouth run dry and his feet is clad in shoes that scream too rich for my blood.
He gives me a once-over and chuckles. "You look. . .cute."
My mouth gapes open and Jacob walks past me, ignoring me and makes his way out the back door. I scoff, then follow him with determination in my step.
"Did you - did you just call me cute?" My eyes burn into the back of his head.
"Sure did."
Jacob carries on walking to the car. Completely ignoring me he opens the car and hops in. The nerve of this guy! I speed walk to the passenger seat with my arms swinging at my sides. I swing the open, hop in and Jacob eyes me with an innocent look.
"Hey, I'm twenty-one years old, nothing about me is cute." I argue my case.
"Okay, cutie." He chuckles.
Frustrated I reach over at start slapping him with my tiny hands. My hands probably feel like petals of a flower hitting on his rock hard abs but I couldn't care less. His loud voice booms through the car as I continue slapping him on the chest, head, arms and back.
Out of breathe from laughing, Jacob grabs me by the wrist and gently pushes me back the passenger seat.
"Okay, okay, fine. You're not cute." I nod, happy that he understands. "You're hot."
My face draws blank and a red tint covers my cheeks. My mouth opens and closes, trying to think of a smart comeback but my brain is mush. I look out the window, ignoring him and decide to brush him off.
"Shut up." Goes my weak comeback.
Jacob smiles. "Now that you've finally settled down, are you ready to go?"
It finally dawns on me that I actually made it to the car through my rant. I glare at him, "I hate you." I say curtly.
He winks at me before starting the engine. I strap myself in properly, actually finding myself excited for wherever Jacob plans on taking us today. We back out of the garage and I look out the window staring at the beautiful neighborhood as we drive away.
