THE OGRE AMONG US

"You foul creature!!"

"GET! OUT! OF! MY! SWAMP!"

Someone knocked me out cold. Damn it got me good. What a pussy sneakin on me. Wait, there's two of them?

"RO44444444444RRRRRRRRR!!"

"End this dull animal's suffering my Virgins!"

No.. Its the WAHMEN!!! and she's fending off the beast? Wait, who are these skinny thirsty lookin men!? TF is happening?! Is this hell?? I thought Satan is red, not green. And fat?

As I gain consciousness, I realized that they are fighting each other. Wahmen v Beast.

Wahman: Rise, Virgins! Kill that Ogre once and for all!!

The ground trembles as the Virgins rose from the Earth itself. But before that happens, the Ogre counters by whacking or should I say biting their heads off one by one (He seems to be enjoying it). But I can't see clearly what's going on, Its still dark.

As they battle back and forth, the Ogre is gaining the upperhand while the Virgins are getting underwhelm. As the beast shouts its battle cry, It thrusts through the barricade of Virgins until it finally caught the Wahman. It swings its enormous arm back and builds up for its final blow. The Wahman is frozen. I have to do something!

An absurd memory randomly popped at the back of my head. I closed my eyes for it hurts, like I'm rewatching the 1 guy 1 screwdriver all over again for the first time. Images I haven't seen suddenly rushed and somehow, I kinda remember them but in a dim and indistinct way. A familiar power runs through my veins.

I open my eyes...

I AM FLOATING!!

I am wrapped in a hot blue energy aura.

I am glowing in the darkness

Everything seems so slow.

Everything seems so light.

My perception is increasing every second unnaturally as I senses all living organisms, all life essence around me, all life around the globe (or the flat surface, whichever you prefer).

Waves and waves of information I didn't know before, slaps me in my goddamn face and for a moment, I know EVERYTHING.

WHY DOES TIME EXISTS.

WHY WAHMEN KEEPS DENYING ME (pretty simple tbh).

WHAT IF CAR DROVE YOU.

EVERYTHING.

"Yare Yare Daze.... "

Wahman: *Gasps* Tf?!

Ogre: Hoh... You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me?

"I can't beat the shidd out of you without getting closer."

Ogre: Oh ho! Then come as close as you like.

"SICKO MODE!!"

The beast threw the Wahman and I caught her mid air.

It teleports behind me but I knew it was going to happen.

Ogre: You are fast, I give you th...

His blood, painted my face green, as I gave him an unforgettable uppercut. He flew upwards unimaginably fast. Trees suffered a microbursts. My hands got skinned doeee.

"Tsk. I over did it."

Before he left the Earth's atmosphere. I blinked behind him and caught him. I whispered

"Don't let me catch you lackin, homeboy"

And I threw him back to Earth with the right amount of force.

"That's where you belong. 6 feet under."

I slowly landed on the ground and check his grave.

(๏_๏)?

He is not there. He is missing!!

A sardonic laugh begins to echo. It is the beast and it is waiting for me while sipping a tequila w/ wait, are those eyeballs¿ at my back.

Ogre: I hate talkative beings. You see, there is this silly Donkey who just can't stop talking and singing. And one day, I finished it off. I used its rib as a toothpick. It was so appetizing.

"..."

Ogre: I hope you're delicious too.

He brought his dick out and fondles it aggressively.

Ogre: I will show you my true form!!

SUMMONING JUSTU!!!

Ogre: I, SHREK, WILL FINISH YOU MORTAL!!! YOU HAVE BEEN A FORMIDABLE OPPONENT, NOW, MEET YOUR END!!!

I tried to hide my fear and answered him.

"You hideous monsters and your thicc layer skins are something."

But goosebumps starts to grow all over me. I'm sweating like a river.

Shrek: MEAT SCEPTRE!!!

I was about to dodge his strike but for some reason, I can't move. My energy is draining rapidly. My body isn't used with this unknown power. My chests are exploding every breathe I take, like Nagasaki and Hiroshima in 1945. I got to escape and bring that wahman with me.

Out of nowhere, he vanished. I tried to predicted him.

*He is going to whip it on my left*

Wait.... He's beneath the ground!?!

I jumped fast and high as much as I could. But he is already waiting for me up there. I couldn't react well. I can't feel his heart beating nor his soul shaking. He just moved swiftly like a wind. I can't hear any footsteps from him.

Shrek: D i e.

HE DICK SLAPPED ME!! I rotated like a goddamn football. I couldn't stop it. It's twisting my mind and reality; I can't escape this 0 gravity prison. How is this even possible!?

Is this the end!?! How am I supposed to stop this Ogre's rampage? Can cars actually drive you?!

*Portal opens up*

"B-Brad?"