05 Don't Concern Yourself

"W-What do you want?"

Wen Shi frantically tongue twisted, her words chewed up by her inner turmoil as she bit her tip making her grimace in pain.

Yuheng, seeing how she reacted grimly, only felt devastated. And choked with his indicting thoughts, which he feared of voicing out scared to be abandoned.

Puzzled, Wen Shi stared at him openly.

"You... tell me what's in your mind," she demanded.

Why was he looking at her as if she'd committed some grave offense as if he was about to cry as well?

So, without waiting for Yifang's response, Yuheng turned to her to probe. For him, it was her answer that mattered.

"Shi Shi…"

Even though was the one who urged him, the sudden despondent call made her heart race and made the confused lass gulp unconsciously.

Argh!

What the hell is wrong with her and this strange persisting nervousness she feels with just him calling her name? If this has something to do with the old Wen Shi, then she'll be damned!

The last thing she wanted was to have a heart demon because of the dead's lingering attachments!

Wen Shi furrowed her brows when the man sighed as though weighing the words before bringing them up to her.

"Did you two… do something fun while I was away?" asked the man with a tinge of hesitation in his tone.

Shi Yuheng sneered in his heart, wanting to knock some sense in his head after realizing how his words came out sounding so stupid.

Fun would be the last word he'd describe it. Not without him in the picture.

But he knew of her temper too well and how she despised being questioned and put in a tight spot. He felt anxious while trying to make out something.

Thus, he can only play it nice.

Shi Yuheng's soft inquiry hung in the air, his posture distressed.

This image of a crestfallen young man could easily stir any lady's conscience, tugging at the strings of their tangled hearts.

But apparently, Wen Shi wasn't just any lady.

"Fun?"

Echoed the girl in a shrill voice as she sneered inside. She gave him a chance to speak, and this is what she hears?

What fun?

She'd been taken advantage of by Shi Yifang, that lecher! Revenge simmered within her.

But even then, her flustered face that flushed like a cherry was punctuated like an automatic physiological response, as if caught in the act of infidelity by her own husband.

Tse, husband my ass!

The term felt hollow in her ears and foreign to her tongue.

"This clueless man with no tact was no better than his rogue brother."

Wen Shi hissed sharply to herself. They're just two peas in a pod.

If not then why dredge up the day she ever loathed, thinking of that imbecile Yifang that she couldn't kill—him and the memory she longed to forget?

As a response, Wen Shi bemoaned, her voice strained. She was rather disappointed with his nonsensical question and his expression that bugged her for no reason. She hated feeling bothered by something.

"Nothing is going on. So stop concerning yourself with trivial matters. Mind your own business."

Oblivious to Shi Yuheng's glistening eyes, she responded cruelly, her heart now shielded against his expression.

Trivial? As if!

Revenge would come, but not now.

Not yet!

Standing there undeterred, Wen Shi's existence was a tapestry woven with threads of untold memories, and pain. Carrying the weight of countless lifetimes.

As she moved through the world like a shadow, while her heart was encased in ice, all sentiments and accumulated experience had inevitably overshadowed whatever inkling she may have of any possible attachment for someone.

Wen Shi rolled her eyes and mumbled to herself, "It's not like it's going to happen again soon. As if you'll get your turn! Why even care?"

Not just him since it wasn't even confirmed if it was just these two. No one will!

Goodness…

How can she be intimate with these mere mortals? One accident is enough. She'll just treat it as a passing wind that she has no recollection of.

She hadn't even had time to keep pets before, they all ended up dead or running away out of fear.

How can she keep a man beside her?

And not just one but more! Such a pain.

"Err…"

Wen Shi shrugged and brushed it off.

[Doesn't matter. I'm not here to make a family. As long as they're not dead, right?]

Meanwhile, Shi Yuheng's body went stiff as he secretly read her lips. His eyes widened with shock, shaking with the sheer realization of being unwanted.

"You'll never get a chance..."

Her words cut him deeply. Does that mean she didn't want anything to do with him?

What's the use of being her Yang companion if she won't utilize him?

[Is she going to throw me away?]

Yuheng's insides were set ablaze with deep scorching ache. His body trembled and shook with sheer anxiety. Yet, he couldn't utter a single word to argue back and ask for a reason.

Who was he to her to ask that anyway?

He was only someone she picked up on a whim but never made use of.

Wuu~

"Little Yu, don't cry. Hic!"

"When I grow up, I promise to be a great yin maiden like my mom. I will protect you and treat you better under my wing. No one will dare bully you again. So, be sure to wait for me! I will definitely look after you in the future." 

While sobbing, the little girl vowed and offered her soft midget hand to caress the fearful, whimpering feline cub.

Whenever Yuheng gazes into the abyss of distant memories, he still feels the weight of that small, warm hand—reaching out to him like a desperate savior. 

That bright smile and childish tone never wavered, always offering him a glimmer of hope.

But were they merely illusions, fragments of his desperate wishes?

If not, how much longer must he endure this waiting?

He had always been right here, and yet…

"...Ha."

Shi Yuheng breathed heavily with the prickling feeling of despair. As if a broken doll, but at least a wooden thing won't feel this hurt.

With his vulnerability laid bare, he couldn't escape the gravity of her indifference or more like insensibility to other people's feelings.

Thus, his whispered plea that echoed in the void that she had left him could only remain in there unnoticed.

In that mere instance, he could feel his strength being sucked out of his body. A tepid smile rose to his frosted lips, tugging the corner of his mouth and leaving a bitter taste in his senses.

[Why do you despise me so much, Shi Shi? Why only me? Why is it always me you dislike? Do you only let Shi Yifang inside your heart and not me?]

His clenched fist, hidden within the folds of his robe, bore the imprint of his anguish. Blood seeped from his palm, numbing the ache in his heart. The scent of suffering clung to him, freezing the air around them.

Wen Shi's response was a silent storm—a tempest of emotions he dared not oppose. His body hurt, but it was a pain he welcomed.

As if the numbing pain would lighten the burden on his heart, allowing him to endure the eons of her disregard and unfounded hate.

Yuheng's weak smile desperately masked the raw neglect he felt. He averted his eyes, unwilling to confront the truth.

"I see... Then I will just do what you said," replied the man briefly with a heavy heart.

From the corner, Shi Yifang observed their exchange silently.

Yet, his eyes carried a strange emptiness akin to a howling gale before he closed them again. His pair of dark obsidian eyes instantly returned to their once-dazzling brilliance as if nothing had happened.

No words passed between them; their emotions remained hidden, locked away.