3 chapter two

“why do you fight, when you're just like me?” the voice rang out in the still night air, making gooseflesh rise up on her skin. She looked around her, sword in hand, for who it could be that found her way into her dream, for she knew to be it to be a dream. She sought the face, but so no one. Just trees and the sky.

“ I am nothing like you.” she said firmly.

“You will be, soon. ” the voice taunted evilly.

“ Never!” she shouted and sliced into the air, and then woke.

°°°°

“Dear God.” she choked out as she sat up in bed. She turned to look at Jasper, he was still sound asleep. She was Glad she hadn't woken him. He came now, at nights to stay with her. For, some months after they destroyed Myeen, The Athànatoi- the Athànatoi were dark immortal beings, demons really– who sought her end because she was feared to be the end of Their Race. Three months After they had destroyed Myeen she'd started having dreams, like the one she just had, the same evil voice taunting, laughing. Waiting.

So she'd told Jasper, who in turn decided to stay at her side at night, she was grateful. They weren't married, but they would be soon and so he'd never have to sneak in and out of her bed like they were doing something bad. Her bed would be his bed. She brushed a lock of hair away from his face, He needed a hair cut, she decided. She'd do it herself, he'd give her a look of horror but he'd let her and she'd do her best. Then she would tell him she had another dream. She'd tell the man she loved her secrets.

°°°°°

“I tell you it's nothing, Martha. Just some ugly dream. Just a dream.” Her grandmother eyed her suspiciously from her bed. Martha lived in the castle now, she had forgiven her daughter and her son-in-law in a heartbeat. In truth, eighteen years was a long time to hold a grudge anyway. Now she lived in the castle, she still had visions from time to time, but nothing that drained her, which She was all but fine with.

However, when Hannah came to her the next day with her dream her senses perked up. She wasn't sure if it was the seer, or the grandmother. Maybe both.

“ I feel there's something you're not saying.”

“there is not.” there was, which was the fact that she'd had dreams like this several times before now, but she wasn't going to bother her grandmother with that. Not with how tired she looked. “There isn't, Grandma. And I really don't want you worrying about this.”

Her grandmother rose a brow. Hannah rose hers, the two women mirroring each other, looking so alike in their stance.

”Really. Don't. Its just a dream.”

“you know it isn't." She placed her hand on Hannah's. “you'll tell me if they get worse.”

Hannah closed her eyes for a moment, “I will.” she finally conceded.

°°°°

She went to the stables.

As a child, even up to her teenage years, when she needed to think, when she needed to breathe better, because the affairs of the castle left her suffocated, she fled for the stables, she ran to the horses, she kept company with honey, her dear horse since she was seventeen.

She ran a hand across his head, and he neighed.

“ I'm sorry I haven't come often, buddy. Forgive me.”

She didn't know if he understood what she said, didn't think he did anyway. But she meant every word.

She sighed deeply and searched the deepest parts of her soul.

Those dreams left her worried and restless. And a little bit annoyed. Why her sleep state?

Why bother her at all?

She knew from the beginning it was more than just a dream in the night, knew but didn't want to admit it. Until now. Something about the one she had the night before left her shaken, unusually unsettled. Ready to take action.

But she didn't know what to do. That made her weepy. And she let out a long sigh.

“Dear God,” she started, her voice choked up, she swallowed past the heaviness in her throat, “God of truth, and God of light. God who sees me, God who dispels all darkness and disorder. You chose me, you called me, you wanted me. My answer will always be yes,” she searched for the right words as a tear ran down her right cheek, found she didn't have the right words for the heaviness in her heart and so came out clean, “ I'm so lost and confused,” she sobbed, “I don't know what to do, but help me. If it's still me you call, if it is Still me you want, please help me. Amen.”

She kept her eyes closed, trying to listen, maybe, Just maybe the creator had something to say. But she was met with silence. And peace.

For the first time since the dreams, she was quietly serene, she couldn't see what the future held, but God would hold her hand, she was sure of it. That peace that came like grace was proof of it.

A smile spread across her heart and then her lips. She placed a hand around honey's neck and pressed a kiss to his mane. And then a second one.

“ God is here, God is with us, Buddy.” He just neighed.

°°°°

“you're quiet tonight. ” they laid on the flowers in the garden, beneath the numerous stars. It was their favourite spot. There, he watched the sprites move about and would tell Hannah about it.

“mmm.” she replied, coming out of her thoughts, bringing her hand to his cheek,

“Tell me, Hannah. What bothers you. ” and she did. She told him. And if at one point she nearly wept, if at one point the whole thing felt overwhelming, she recalled the peace she felt during day and found her voice. And Jasper listened intently.

“Why didn't you tell me, Hannah? Why didn't you tell me they came ad often as they did, when they did? ”

“ I was afraid. afraid for me, and worried, worried that you'd worry. And part of me didn't want yo acknowledge it. I hoped,that maybe, if I ignored it, it'd go away. ”

“Us, Hannah. So I'm supposed to worry. I understand you wanting to push the whole thing away, but I hate so much you dealt with all that alone. You're alone, Hannah. That's why the creator brought us together. So we have each other, so we know we're not alone.” he said so gently, so firmly, she nearly wept.

How could she not have seen what was right before her?

“Forgive me, Jasper. ”

“there's nothing to forgive now. We'll deal with this. God, me and you. We'll deal with this.”

They would.

“I love you, Jasper. ”

“I love you, Hannah.”

She wasn't alone. Yes everyone had a cross to carry, but she didn't need to do it all by herself, she couldn't and that was okay, because,even Jesus had simon of Cyrene to help him.