39 Sad news for me

I looked at the doctor's face with a smile and honestly I admit that this doctor looks very beautiful and very elegant, She looks very harmonious standing side by side with Jo, now .... I can only go back silent and I am confused what to say to Jo because I realized that the current me was nothing compared to that Female Doctor. There's nothing that I can be proud of for myself if I can stand proudly beside Jo, I hold back the tears that seem to want to come out of the corners of my eyelids because I really feel this pain in my heart, this feeling of pain ... that I can't I said when I saw Jo with that woman.