1 Desire - Part 1

Yeah, I just can't get used to this.

The atmosphere here is completely different from what I'd expected.

We're already two weeks into the first semester, so I think it's fair to say that this isn't much like middle school at all.

What's so different, though? Mmm, how to put it…

I guess it's just puberty.

With all the sudden changes in both the minds and bodies of my classmates, it's hard to ignore the shift in mind-set that everyone goes through at this age.

And I think the most obvious of those is how conscious we all are of the opposite sex.

"Haaa… I ended up dumping my boyfriend last night."

"Huh, seriously? Jason? Isn't he that super popular Junior?"

In one of the corners of the room, I overhear an interesting conversation stirring up between two female classmates of mine.

"Yeah, but he was waaay too clingy. Asked me not to speak to any other guys, like, at all. Totally gave me the creeps so I had to let his ass go."

"Yeesh, talk about annoying."

"Eh, it's fine. I wasn't really that into him anyways. Guy was an arm accessory."

The way this girl in particular talks about her now ex-boyfriend kind of rubs me the wrong way, but I'm too engrossed in their conversation to dwell on it too much.

I haven't had any romantic experiences during my fourteen years of life so far, so I'm not ashamed to admit that I am more than curious about how far other kids my age have gone. Which is to say, even I am a slave to this thing we call puberty.

And these girls, well… They're the cream of the crop as far as our year goes.

Most guys would count themselves lucky to even be in the conversation for dating any one of them.

The one who was just going off about her ex is Jennifer Swift.

As you've probably surmised, she's got a nasty personality when it comes to men.

She treats us all as if we're completely good for nothing aside from our wealth, looks and status.

You'd think that with flaws that glaring she'd be guy repellent, but surprisingly enough, it doesn't stop her from being the most popular girl in freshman year.

It's more than likely due to the fact that she has the kind of face you'd find on the cover of some women's magazine.

I'm not sure how much of it is makeup, but she has that Marilyn Monroe face that makes your heart feel all funny.

Her body is also rather well developed for a freshman. One glance at her chest and you can tell that she's packing underneath that stylish blouse.

As someone my age, it's kinda hard to look away from that kind of bust, and I imagine most of my male classmates have the same issue.

I mean, god damn dude.

But above all else, Jennifer's defining quality would be her long, blonde hair that fell straight down to her back.

It was apparent to everyone how much care she had given to her hair, with the way it shone whenever so much as a hint of light bounced off of it.

She seems like the perfect poster girl for the phrase "A woman's hair is her life".

Uhh, I'm getting sidetracked a little here.

My point is that despite her shitty attitude, most guys my age flock to her simply because of how gorgeous she is.

It's kind of depressing, but that too is most likely a part of puberty.

Moving on, the 'yes woman' sitting next to her is Scarlet Sterling.

I don't really know much about her, but she seems to be one of Jennifer's friends as far as I can tell. She wears her bright red hair in a ponytail, which gives off the impression that she's going for a more "cutesy" look compared to her friend.

That being said, I have to be frank for a moment– her clothes have got to be against the school's dress code. She's wearing one of those tops that exposes her shoulders to the entire male population of the school.

And if that wasn't bad enough, her jeans had those little rips in them that exposed a bit of the skin of her thighs.

Is it some kind of fashion statement or Is she trying to seduce us? I mean, what on earth are the teachers thinking by allowing that?! How are we supposed to focus on studies with this immoral girl tempting us all the time?

Ahem. Sorry about that, I don't know what came over me.

But regardless, these three beauties were in the midst of a conversation about dating, and I had found myself listening in without thinking much about it.

Oh.

There's something, or someone I neglected to mention- the third girl sitting with Jennifer and Scarlet. Her name is Momoka Kudo.

The reason I forgot to mention her was mainly because she seemed to be ignoring the conversation in favor of her book.

I'm not quite sure why she's so close with those two. She doesn't seem to fit into the popular crowd at all.

And anyway, if I were to describe Momoka based on her appearance alone, she was nothing short of haphazard.

The bangs of her long black hair were quite lazily cut if I'm allowed to be frank. It was obviously less about making any fashion statements and more about keeping them from obscuring her vision too much. As for her clothing, her attire was essentially a shirt with long sleeves, some jeans and basic sneakers.

No jewelry, no piercings, no accessories.

Her appearance clearly communicated the fact that she did not care much for fashion in the same way her friends did.

That isn't to say that she wasn't cute, she totally was. In fact, you could call that haphazardness a part of her charm.

But she seemed to live in a completely different world from the other two no matter how you sliced it.

That entire group just screams superficial to me. And normally, I'd ignore people like that completely if they were talking about anything else. But I can't help but listen in as someone who hasn't experienced something like love before. I mean, who in this classroom isn't interested in that kind of stuff?

"So what about you, Scarlet? Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

Scarlet takes a while to process the question, as if she hadn't heard it to begin with.

"M-me? Ah, um, of course I have! Totally! Haha!"

"Reeaaally? Even though you're always curving the guys who try talking to you?"

She gulps nervously and nods her head.

"Of course silly! I'm like, real good at talking to guys, you know. It's piece of cake."

"Wooow, I don't think you've ever told me anything about that. Color me surprised then."

Jennifer trails her finger along the desk, leaning forward to glare right at the fidgety Scarlet. For some reason there's a lot of tension between the two of them right now.

"How about you show me a picture then?"

"A-a picture?"

"Of you and your boyfriend silly. Come on, you've got one don't you?"

"O-of course I do… I just…"

Jennifer smirks at her now cornered friend.

Judging by that reaction, it's obvious enough that Scarlet has never had a boyfriend to begin with.

One look at her you can tell that Jennifer's teasing is putting her on edge. Her eyes are darting around erratically as she desperately searches for an escape.

Poor thing, just tell her the truth already. What's there to gain from a white lie like that? She'll just make fun of you even more when she finds the truth out later.

I yawn and tap my fingers against the desk as I watch her squirm to find something to say.

But as my luck would have it, her eyes just happened to lock onto mine.

My heart leaps out of my chest.

"…"

"…"

After a brief moment, I avert my gaze out of sheer embarrassment.

Oh god, that was nerve-wracking. Did she realize I was eavesdropping? I'm not a creep, I promise! I just happened to be looking your way that time!

Ahh, it's hopeless. That kind of reasoning won't work.

I swallow my pride and look back in her direction, only to find that she's already back to facing Jennifer.

"Instead of a picture… How about I bring him over to meet you guys at lunch?"

"Ohh? He's a student here? What year is he in?"

"H-he's… It doesn't matter! You'll meet him when you meet him!"

"Hahahaha! Okay okay, no need to get upset."

Uh oh…

Judging by the way she looked at me…

Nono, that's impossible. There's no chance that that's what happened. I mean, I mean, if you think about it…

That would mean she sees me as someone worth bragging about.

…

Pfft! Ha, as if!

There's no chance of that ever happening. That kind of romantic segue is reserved exclusively for cheap rom-coms.

This is reality.

Something that good won't ever happen to me.

Or maybe it could…? I mean, who's to say?

"Nnnnn, I wonder… Huh?"

The moment I begin losing myself in those thoughts, I'm brought back to reality by a light tapping sensation on my shoulder.

"Hey Chase! Where the hell are you looking? We're talking about video games right now, dude."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night."

The boy who just called out to me was Nicholas Albert.

If Jennifer is this year's success story, then Nick is probably its biggest loser.

His almost stereotypical collared shirt and glasses combination cemented him as a huge nerd to pretty much the entire student body from day one.

And, if that weren't already enough, he's a huge video gaming geek at heart. I think at one point he said that he'd already played through over thirty JRPGs this year alone.

God alone knows what drives him to hole himself up and play title after title like that.

The problem with Nick is that his loud, overly passionate tone of voice when talking about those hobbies of his ended up incurring him a lot of hate the moment the school year had begun.

The result of that, of course, was him assuming the throne as the single most shunned freshman in the school at the moment. I guess in a way, he is rather popular as well.

"You were up late last night and yet you didn't even beat the last game I recommended?! That is completely unacceptable! And you call yourself a member of the "Fated Ones"?! You're being ridiculous!"

"Uh no, you asking me to beat that game in one night is the only ridiculous thing here. And what is up with our name, man?"

"Oh, don't be like that. I'm not asking for much, it's an easy game! Come on, talk some sense into him, Sig!"

"Hey Chase, you were looking at Momo-chan too, weren't you? Isn't she just the cutest?"

This guy's a weird one for sure.

His eyes are almost completely covered by the bangs of his messy black hair. Conveniently enough, it also serves the secondary purpose of covering up most of his acne-infested face.

He wears the same gray hoodie to school every day, to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if he also wore the same shirt underneath it. Not that I'd ever ask him though, he makes it more than apparent that personal hygiene isn't his forte.

That aside, I think I should make something clear right now before it gets too out of hand: This kid, Sigmund Jackson, is probably the single biggest anime-geek I have ever met.

Almost everything that comes out of his mouth is related to anime in some way, shape or form. Naturally, since Momoka is Japanese, it didn't take long for Sig's hormones to start acting up.

Quite frankly, it's kind of disgusting.

"Huh?! Is that true, Chase? Don't ignore us for some girl!"

At those words, Sig glares at Nick angrily.

"'Some girl'?! Momo-chan is more than just 'some girl', you four-eyed rp-geek! Get some taste!"

"Huuh? She could be the queen of England for all I care. If she breathes, she's a thot!"

"What was that, asshole?!"

"I said she's a slut, you disgusting weeaboo!"

As the two of them fall into their argument, I could only wonder how badly my high school debut had gone if these two were now my only friends in this class.

Just what on earth did I do wrong? They aren't bad people or anything, but… Is this really the group I'm going to belong to for the next four years? Will I be forced to accept that cute girls are going to be out of my grasp for the rest of my high school career?

Ahh, no good. I'm getting annoyed.

I need some space. I can't find it in myself to listen to their bickering this early.

Not after the all-nighter I pulled.

"Um, listen. I'm gonna go for a walk in the hallway before classes start up."

"Ah, good idea Chase. I'll come too. I can't stand being around this thot-trusting buffoon for any longer."

"Hey man, what's your issue?!"

Nick begins standing up to join me.

"No, it's fine. I just need some time to think some things over alone. You don't have to join me."

Nick pauses for a moment to consider my words, then smiles back up at me.

"Ah, I see. You need to have a manly moment to yourself, huh? I understand, comrade. We'll talk later then."

"TNT, Chase!"

Sig smiles and salutes me as if he weren't in the middle of an argument a few seconds ago.

"TNT…"

I sigh and end up exiting the classroom.

My two closest friends in this school are some of the dorkiest people I've ever met. Half of the things that come out of their mouths are some obscure reference that I more than likely won't ever get in my life time.

I'm not too much into anime or games, after all.

Why am I friends with them, then?

Well, they're the only two people who I don't feel like I need to put up any airs around.

Everyone in our year is so superficial that it gives me the chills.

I can't help but wonder if that too, is a part of going through puberty. The worst of them are the people who associate themselves with Jennifer. I can't imagine myself hanging out with a crowd of people like that.

So obsessed with their own self-image that they end up pretending to be someone they aren't…

Even if it would land me a girlfriend, I wouldn't…

No. I think I'd rather die than dance to that tune.

"Hey, you!"

And as I think that, I hear someone calling out from behind me. Calling out to who though, I wonder? Well, it can't be me, I'm a loser!

Hahaha!

Sighing to myself, I continue walking forward.

But as if reality itself had already decided to undermine my conclusion, I begin to feel a light tug at my sleeve.

"Huh?"

I turn around and find an adorably dressed girl staring up at my face.

"Scarlet..?"

My body tenses up and I find myself unable to respond properly.

My life might just be a cheap rom-com after all.

"Geez, pay attention when someone's calling out to you. You walk really quickly, you know!"

"S-sorry. I was just a little lost in thought. What is it?"

Wait, hold up a minute.

Am I dreaming?

A girl… Is talking to me?

Not just any girl, a popular girl? And one who knows about the crowd I associate with, no less? What could she possibly want with me of all people?

She observes me curiously for a moment then looks away, somewhat downcast.

I scratch the back of my head awkwardly, waiting for her to respond to my question.

But she never does.

She looks too uncomfortable­––too nervous to even speak up properly.

"Uh… Scarlet? Are you okay?"

"… No, um. I'm not sure if I should bother you so suddenly. I mean, this is the first time we've spoken to one another, so…"

I see, she's trying to figure out if it's okay to ask me something. She must have her shy moments too, huh?

"It's okay, I don't mind listening if you have something to say."

"R-really?"

I nod.

If she feels cornered enough to confide in someone like me, then she must feel terribly alone right? I mean, me of all people?

"Really, I won't judge. I promise."

"W-well, um, I kind of wanted to ask you something."

I smile, somewhat relieved.

"Oh, that's all? Sure, go ahead."

She fidgets nervously, affirming her resolve before her lips part once more.

"You… don't have a girlfriend, right?"

I freeze up.

What..

What's up with that question?! Could it be she's… hitting on me? Is it because of that thing I heard earlier? Then, like I thought…

No no no, there's no way. There's no way that she's hitting on me. I mean… A girl this cute?! Did I accidentally wake up this morning as Michael B. Jordan or something?

Okay, shit. Calm down Chase. For now, you should just play it cool. Maybe if I do this right then…

"Uh, no. I don't."

I offer it up in the most calm, rational voice that I could muster.

And at my response, she perks her chin up and smiles.

But it's not the regular, joyful smile you'd expect from that angelic kind of girl.

It's a smile so mocking that I almost instantly felt my entire body go cold from embarrassment.

"Heh, I knew it."

"… Huh?"

And suddenly, her entire body shifts.

The nervous girl who stood before me moments ago is long gone.

In her place, is the confident girl who normally stands at Jennifer's side. And, she's looking down on me.

She's looking down on me…

She's…

"W-what the hell…?"

Ignoring my surprise, she opens her mouth to speak. And the moment she does, I begin to regret everything.

"So like, you saw what happened, right? Back in the classroom? That's kind of why I followed you here. Oh, don't worry. You don't have to pretend you didn't notice, I totally saw you eavesdropping on us. It was pretty creepy, but I don't have anything against it. I mean, we are the most popular freshman girls after all. I'm sure a lot of guys were eavesdropping on us so you probably aren't the only creep, you're just the worst at hiding it lol. Anyway, Jen was totally drilling me about having a boyfriend, so I kinda need to show her that I'm capable of getting one to stay on her good side. Oh, but not for long though. I'll tell her we broke up the next time she asks about you. I mean, who would want to be seen in public with someone who hangs out with the loser crew? It explains why you don't have a girlfriend to be honest. I can practically smell the virginity from all the way over here. Anyways, we need to set ground rules first if I'm going to have you meet Jen with me. I want to start by stressing that there will be absolutely no physical contact; that means no hugging, no holding hands, no touching shoulders, and DEFINITELY no kissing. You're also not allowed to call me any cute pet names. I think I'd throw up on the spot if you did. Seriously, do not. No fake stories about us either. I really don't trust you to not say something creepy so leave that part to me. And lastly, only speak when spoken to when it doesn't have to do with me. I don't want us getting our stories wrong. Got that? Any questions? Huh, loser?"

"…"

"…"

She's… She's…

SO BASIC!

What the hell is wrong with this girl?

She's seriously going through all of this trouble just for some worthless approval from her friends?

"Are you… serious?"

"Huh?! What's that supposed to mean? You'll do it, won't you?"

She's serious…

She's totally serious…

God, why did it have to be me?

Why did she have to choose me for all of this?

I thought this was going to be a new beginning for me.

This was supposed to be a chance for change… A chance to finally experience companionship with a girl…

Ah, goddammit!

"If you're so popular then why don't you just, y'know, get a real boyfriend?"

"T-that is, well…"

She twiddles her fingers for a while, clearly anxious about giving a response.

"… I get nervous around boys."

She says it in a voice so small that I could barely catch it.

Nervous?

"You do realize that I'm a boy, right?"

"Haaa, you don't have a single clue, do you?"

She smirks condescendingly once more, then puts both hands on her hips.

"Like I said, you're a loser. Why would I bother feeling nervous about talking to someone like you? If anything you should be on your knees thanking me for talking to you. Get it now? Geez… take a hint, will you?"

"…"

I hate this bitch.

After a moment of basking in her own ego, she suddenly catches herself and looks away. The way she twirls her hair with her finger makes her seem a bit more innocent than that outburst from seconds ago would have led me to believe.

"Still though… It would really mean a lot to me if you went along with it."

It was a subtle gesture on her part, but a cute one nonetheless. I'm pretty sure most guys would fall for something like this and go head first into this whole ploy of hers.

"So… Will you?"

But… after saying all of those rude things to me, do you really expect me to just bow down and be subservient because you're a little popular?

Do you really think I'm that depraved?

Ha.

Well, you're wrong.

I'm not like the other sheepish males in our year.

I can read girls like you and Jennifer like a damn book. Acting all cutesy just to get whatever you want. God, just how little do you think of us boys?

I won't feed into that ego of yours. Especially after you insulted me to my face like that.

Is, what I'd like to say, but…

"… Sure."

At my meek response, she offers me the most genuine smile a rotten girl like her could ever hope to muster.

"Yay! I'll come find you so I can lead you to our usual table at lunch. You know the one, right? Of course you do, we're not invisible geeks like you guys after all. I sure hope you feel honored that I'm inviting you to eat with us."

"…"

"Anyway! If that's all, I'll see you then!"

After leaving me with those hurtful words, she smiles and trots off back to the classroom.

Well… I'm pretty angry about this.

It's one thing to be made fun of by someone, but the fact that she thinks being in the presence of her fucking Barbie doll troupe is such a privilege pisses me off.

"AAA!! I'M ANGRY!!"

Several heads turn towards me as I scream at the top of my lungs in the hallway.

I sigh after most of the raw emotion is vented out.

The truth is though, I'm mostly angry at myself for caving to her request.

My lack of experience with girls has proven to be my downfall.

Those eyes… Good god, those eyes. Why did they look so bright?

Even after saying all of those things to me, I couldn't help but agree to be her pretend-boyfriend. I think I may have just discovered within myself a fetish for dominant women.

How depressing…

And to think, just moments ago I'd considered myself better than the other freshman boys when it came to seeing through girls like Scarlet…

"Whatever, I'll just get it over with."

Maybe I'll get a few bonus points among other girls as a popular girl's ex after things are over.

High school sure is a pain, huh? Everything's decided by who you associate with.

Deciding to accept my fate, I head back to our classroom the moment the bell sounds for first period.

But as soon as I enter through the door, the first thing I'm greeted by is Nick's obnoxious screaming.

"Are you kidding?! Hifumi?! Did you get your taste from a literal trash can? How on earth does she compare to Futaba at all?"

"Holy shit man, Futaba?! HAHAHAHAHA! Dude seriously, get that imouto trash out of here."

As usual, those two make absolutely no sense to me. Other classmates are staring at them with looks of disgust and worry as their conversation fills the entire room.

I sigh as I take my seat next to the two of them.

"What the hell are you two on about now?"

"Ah Chase, good timing. Help us decide who the best Persona 5 girl is."

"No, uh, I haven't played that game yet…"

And to be honest, I don't really care that much about 2D girls either.

"Heh, Chase is just being considerate of his good friend Sig. He doesn't want to hurt any feelings by calling his favorite girl chuuni garbage!"

"No no no! I daresay he's being considerate of your shitty megane fetish!"

…

Yeah I have absolutely no idea what either of them are saying.

It's always like this with these two. When it comes to anime and games, their arguments always become hot-blooded and intense.

Putting that aside, there's something else that's got my attention.

There was currently a plain white box sitting atop Sig's desk just underneath the two of them.

"Hey, what's that thing all about?"

Nick suddenly stops for a moment to look down at what I'm eyeballing.

"Ah, these are donuts. Want one?"

"Uh… Donuts? At this hour?"

I wouldn't exactly call it the healthiest breakfast. Having them this early seems a bit out of place, doesn't it?

"Yeah, on Mondays my dad stops at a coffee shop for breakfast before we get to school. While I was there I figured hey, why not bring some for the boys, y'know?"

"Oh really? That's awesome dude. Thanks."

I'm not one to turn down a friend's kindness, so it's only natural that I'd have one.

I dip my hand into the box and help myself to the doughy confectionery.

It's kinda weird, though.

For someone that everyone avoids and makes fun of, Nick is actually a pretty cool guy.

He's nice to his friends and true to his hobbies, and I don't feel the need to pretend to be someone I'm not to hang out with him. It's the most relaxing high school atmosphere I could ask for.

I wish Scarlet could also see that you don't need to pretend to be someone you aren't to make friends in high school…

In a way, she's a bigger loser than I am, isn't she?

I smile while enjoying the sweet juiciness of the donut while counting my blessings.

God, this is the life.

"By the way Chase, you wouldn't happen to have been speaking to any girls while you were outside, were you?"

"H-huh?! Ack!"

I begin coughing uncontrollably.

Damn, I was so surprised that I choked on it.

"Oh, you know, I was just making sure you weren't talking to any girls while you were going for your walk. Can't have you betraying the 'Fated Ones' over some girl, y'know?"

As he says this, he hands me his bottled water and I hurriedly begin gulping to wash the rest of the donut down my throat.

"Haaa, haaa… N-no, of course not! Don't be ridiculous Nick!"

"Ehh? Who cares if he talks to a girl dude? Chris has a girlfriend and you don't seem to mind that much."

"Chris is different! He's a normie on the path to recovery! Have some respect for our fallen brother!"

He slams his fist on my desk then turns his focus back to me.

"Listen up Chase, if I catch you making moves on any girls…"

"Yes yes, I'm out of the group, right?"

I sigh as I finally regain my breath.

"Hmph. As long as you get it."

As he says this, he pulls his hand off of my desk and turns to face the front of the class.

This sucks… If that happens, then I'll have no more friends in this stupid school.

"Haaa…"

You know what? I take it back. Scarlet's friends and mine aren't so different after all.

I just happen to be on the more unfortunate end of the spectrum.