15 Chapter 15: Reminiscent Awkwardness

'All you need is love..

'But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt..

'Lucy.'

"Kaori, dear, if you keep going at that rate, your dad won't have anything left to sell tomorrow..", Miyazono Ryouko said as she glared at her daughter who was currently eating some of the bakery's chocolates.

Kaori just responded to her mother with an awkward giggle while her mouth was stuffed.

"Something bothering you, darling?..", asked Ryouko again.

'Why does my mom always had this superpower of reading my mind?..', thought Kaori before she swallowed.

"You were always conscious about your weight..", added Ryouko, which immediately made her daughter push the chocolates away but taking one more for later.

"Did I get fat already, okaa-san?..", asked Kaori as her expression became darker.

Ryouko just let a drop of sweat down. "You could actually eat some more. You're still skinny..", Ryouko replied with a blank stare. She took the chocolates away and washed the dishes in the kitchen sink as Kaori helped her too. "I already know when something's wrong even before you play that song, Kaori..", she added, referring to one of her child's piano compositions she plays whenever she had bad days.

"I'm fine, okaa-san. I'm smiling now. Nothing to worry!"

"Kaori.."

Kaori sighed. There was no use hiding it from her mother. She knew her very well. And besides, she did have to tell her everything for her to help her remember some things. However, she did not understand why she wouldn't want to share something in particular openly. 'I guess this is a first..'

Ever since that day in school before the break, Kaori couldn't help but be drawn to Arima Kousei's music. The moment he touched the keys, something stirred in her. She froze outside the door of the music room. She listened intently on how he played her song. She smiled at the thought of how he made it his own.

'The way he plays it is so soft and delicate.. that when I close my eyes, I could actually see the orange tinged ocean from my window in our California apartment..', thought Kaori as she recalled the fateful day he met Kousei in Sumiya's music prep room. 'It was so long ago when I wrote that song.. but hearing it from him made me remember exactly how it all looked like..'

Curiosity got the better of Kaori. She was going to approach this mysterious boy. But when she opened her eyes, she saw there were so many of her classmates watching him. 'I'm not usually shy.. but in that instance, I couldn't understand why I hesitated. I just went back to class instead after that.'

Good thing Kousei was still there when Kaori came back. He did not give her a good first impression at all though. 'Well, I guess it probably wasn't a first impression for him. He knows me. And I could tell that he knows me very well. I just couldn't remember. The lasting impact he left my family that day told me a story of a boy who was connected to my very precious but forgotten past.'

Just the other day, Kaori got invited by Kousei's friend, Watari, to watch him practice with the piano. She couldn't say no to the opportunity to hear that music again. She went there and listened. 'But once again.. I just stood outside the door. I didn't understand why I got shy. His playing was just so rich. I closed my eyes and smiled. He sounded like he was so in love..

'However.. I couldn't help but feel uneasy.'

"I feel strange about something..", Kaori said to her mother, looking down as she held on to the sides of the stool she was sitting on, while her feet swayed back and forth.

"Arima-kun, is it?..", Ryouko asked, which tingled Kaori's entire personality with so much electricity that it might have burned her skin to a crispy red.

"No! Absolutely not, okaa-san! Why would you!? Ugh..", Kaori desperately tried to deny, but it was too late. She was already as red as a tomato. She just looked away and scowled. But she could see her mom staring at her curiously. "Partly.. yes. But not entirely..", she sort of admitted, but her mother kept staring at her with that poker face. "Really, Mom!? Fine.. I think I'm drawn to his music. I don't know why.."

Then, Ryouko's expression changed into a smile. She already had a hunch to begin with. "Did you try to find out why, darling?"

"Hmm.. yeah. Sort of.."

Ryouko gave her daughter a skeptical look. She was zeroing down on her target.

'Did I do something wrong? But why couldn't I be completely honest?..', wondered Kaori as she was flashing a cold sweated awkward smile that got her mother fired up.

"You were forcing him to tell you some things, didn't you? Kaori?"

"No! It's not that..", Kaori lied, but she was really curious about him. She definitely recognized him, but she couldn't remember. "The moment I saw him.. I knew immediately that I needed answers, but I didn't know why..", Kaori added with her smile disintegrating.

"So you kept asking him who he was in your life?"

"Yes..", answered Kaori with a forced giggle.

"Kaori..", Ryouko said with a worried voice.

"I'm sorry! I know that's wrong and unfair! I'm not gonna do it again.. I promise..", Kaori apologized while she bowed at ninety degrees, faking some tears.

Ryouko just shook her head. She smiled after that though and held her daughter's chin up. "You can wipe that faucet water off your eyes now..", she said, which made Kaori drop backwards. Her mischievous child's carefully made up fake tears never worked on her. "You can start by listening to Arima-kun's music again.. then maybe you could get your memories back by then..", she said right before smiling with her eyes closed.

However, it could be such a drag to actually find a way to listen Kousei play. That afternoon, she did call Watari if he could invite her to watch the piano prodigy practice, but he said that he left the house and may have practiced at Emi's place.

'That's strange though. Even though they seemed to be dating, I heard that they were going to be opponents in their next competition..', pondered Kaori as she opted to have a walk in the nearby park instead. 'Speaking of those two, Emi-chan denied the other day that they were dating. But they seemed so into each other. It's really confusing. And the way Arima-kun practiced his piece, it sounded like he was so in love that he would pursue her to the ends of the earth..

'Then why aren't they together? I guess this was what made me feel uneasy. I could actually feel that pain in Arima-kun's music..'

"Oh.. I never thought I'd find you here..", a familiar voice brought Kaori back to her senses from the starry skies over the park.

"Yuujin A!..", yelled Kaori, frowning upon seeing Kousei. She didn't expect him to be lurking around a park near their house. "Are you stalking me, pervert?"

"Would it make you happy if I did?..", Kousei shot back with a smirk, surprising Kaori as her eyes widened and her cheeks suddenly flushing. He sat beside her and looked up towards the sky while she just simply stared at him. "I used to come here all the time at this hour.."

"Why this late?"

"My mom would never let me out of the house until I finished my piano lessons. It was usually night by the time I was done."

"Oh wow.. she must've been very hard on you.. reminds me of a certain someone at home..", Kaori said before giggling at the thought of her own mother.

"You have no idea..", Kousei replied with an awkward smile. And then, he looked at the sky again. "I never really hated playing the piano, although I never liked it as well. I just loved listening to my mom playing it..", he continued while he stared at the stars above with the reflection sparkling in his eyes. "Then one day, Hiro-chan told us that I should become a pianist.. I played anyway.. because this time, I want my mother to be the one listening to my music.. I played so she could be happy."

Kaori stared at the boy beside her as he looked straight at her with an awkward smirk. She couldn't help but smile as well with what he just said. 'No wonder I'm so drawn to his playing. It's so inspired. It reminds me of the bonds I have with the people closest to me.. even if I've lost a lot of precious memories about them.'

"That's why you play so well.. your music is so filled with the greatest love of all.. the bond between a mother and child..", remarked Kaori while they both stared at the sparkling night sky. The stars were shining unusually bright that night. "How's your mother, by the way?..", asked Kaori, which she regretted instantly when Kousei's spirits immediately went down.

"Oh.. okaa-san. She's been gone for five years now..", Kousei replied as he looked down.

"Eh? Gone..?..", squealed Kaori in surprised dread. 'I am such a stupid, stupid ignorant girl.. waah!'

"She was really ill.. so she passed away.."

"I'm so sorry to hear that.. really sorry I even asked.. okay. Change topic! Sorry..", Kaori apologized desperately. And she might've turned red and pale at the same time, if that was even possible.

Kousei just stared at Kaori with his eyes wide open as if all the stars from above went down on her. It didn't help since it probably made her fluster even more. Then, his lips curbed into a smile, which eventually turned into a chuckle.

"It's fine. Don't feel sorry for me. My mother will always be in my heart..", remarked Kousei.

Kaori smiled at that with her eyes welling with a little bit of tears.

"And if it makes you feel better, I don't just play for my mom anymore, you know..", added Kousei, which actually made Kaori feel excited.

"That's right! The piece you were practicing.. it was for Emi-chan, right?..", chimed Kaori while she swooned in excitement. "It was so heartwarming.. I wish guys would pursue and court me like that soon..", she added with hearts appearing and popping like bubbles above her.

"I wouldn't count on that.. You'd scare them first."

"Eh?! What's that supposed to mean?!!..", Kaori's mood went on a hundred and eighty degree turn.

Kousei just flashed Kaori with an eye closing smile. He didn't even give her a clear cut answer. She just really wished that him and Emi became officially together already. No one could ask for a better musical couple, and they looked so good together.

'It's an automatic "A" for chemistry class!..', thought Kaori with a beaming smile.

"The stars are shining way too bright for a winter evening, don't you think?..", Kousei asked as he looked up once more, completely ignoring the topic. Kaori stared at him blankly, but he still ignored the question.

"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy..", muttered Kaori.

"Really? Who told you that?..", Kousei asked, not breaking his gaze towards the sky.

"Charlie Brown.."

Kousei suddenly stared at Kaori wide eyed as if he couldn't believe what she just said. She did not know yet why he gave such a reaction, but she just found it so funny and laughed at him. Then, he gave her that same confused look as he scratched his head. And that got her to laugh even more. Eventually, he just resorted to his usual awkward chuckle.

'Wait..', thought Kaori as she abruptly paused for a realization. 'What was that? His usual awkward chuckle? Usual? When did I? No, never mind.. I can't remember.'

Translation Notes:

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt - a quote said by Lucy, a character in the popular comic strip series "Peanuts" by Charles Schulz.

Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy - originally an Eskimo proverb, a quote said by Charlie Brown, a character in the popular comic strip series "Peanuts" by Charles Schulz.