6 military jokes ....... my freaking favorite

Two Marines are walking down the street when one of them spots a dog licking himself. One Marine says to the other, "man, I wish I could do that."

To which the other Marine replies, "no, you better not. That dog might bite you!"

An old veteran walks into a grocery store. Immediately, the cashier stops him and says, "sir, your barracks door is open." At first, he pays zero attention to her because he doesn't live in the barracks. So, he continues shopping until he spots a man stocking some shelves. He tells him what the cashier said and asks what she could've meant.

He tells the veteran that his fly is open.

After completing his shopping, he goes back to the same cashier and says, "ma'am, you told me my barracks door was open. While you were looking, did you see a Marine standing at attention, saluting?"

The cashier replies, "no, sir. I just saw an old, retired veteran lying on two seabags."

Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

9.

Use cover or concealment as much as possible.10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

14. There are some assholes in the world that just need to be shot.

15. Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.

remember kids always have a plan to kill everyone you meet jk don't do that

A private saying "I learned this in boot camp…"

A sergeant saying "Just trust me sir…"

A second lieutenant saying "Based on my experience…"

A captain saying "I was just thinking…"

… and a warrant officer saying "Ok now watch this shit."

if you hear this run!