even darker

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

. A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone.

It's either really terrible news or really great news.

His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"

"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There's silence, and then a gunshot.

The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

OK THIS ONE IS SENSITIVE TO SOME READERS PLEASE JUST TAKE IT AS A JOKE AND I AM VERY SORRY IF IT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.