Chapter 3: Reminisce

Time really flies so quickly. It's like yesterday was Monday and the next day is already Saturday. There's no classes and there's nothing to do. I recalled some things that happened these past few days, in which I could not call pleasant nor unpleasant.

In those days included our sitting arrangements being settled. Miles and Beatrix were arranged sitting next to each other, in which I did not expect since in the rest of our school years they are always completely sitting away from each other.

And their sitting arrangement is quite. . . ridiculous.

There's three of them sitting in the first row. And the other person is her ex-boyfriend, Carlos. And she's literally will be sitting between them.

It is quite hilarious, if you think about it. Won't it be so awkward? Because ya'know. . ? You're sitting with the person whom you have a crush with and he happens to have a feelings for you too (in short, mutual understanding), and with your ex-boyfriend who dumped you. (How did I found out that she was dumped? You'll find out as the story proceeds)

The whole class even went on teasing them, saying things like "the left is the past, the right is the future." Their affairs are quite well known in the whole school, you see.

Poor Beatrix. She's sitting in an awkward tight spot.

But how lucky must she be, sitting with the person she likes. And I happen to like that same person. Or should I say "liked" since it's in the past.

Miles and I used to be so close to each other. I also considered him as my best friend. I don't know what happened that drifted us apart. All I know is I detest him now. He knew about my feelings for him, and he used every means to take advantage of it. He knew that I have a soft spot for him. And the worst thing that he did was he made me his practice dummy for his feelings. All the sweet things he spoke, I knew it was directed for Beatrix.

There's been rumors about them being in a relationship before after a certain confession on f*cebook, that completely devastated me.

On the night of our school foundation day, I happen to hear a conversation between Beatrix and her friend Desiree, that they are not "yet" in a relationship but Miles is willing to wait until she's ready. Upon hearing it, it felt as though I swallowed a mouthful of black coffee. My tears wanted to fall, but for some reason it did not.

And the next day of the celebration, Miles came to me and chatted for a little bit. The conversation dragged on for a moment until he said something that made me taken aback.

". . . . Because I am waiting for you."

I felt complicated upon hearing the same thing that he told to Beatrix just the night before that day. Looking at his expression, it really looked like he's playing with me with those teasing smile.

I narrowed my eyes as I scoffed. "I don't know if I should believe in what you are saying right now."

And there he went silent.

Recalling it now, it's been a year. In the end, it left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can still taste it until now.

If only I could have someone I can vent with. It's been building up inside me, I want to cry it all.

If only that "she" stayed here. Will I ever have to keep it in?

I didn't realize that I was too deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice my sister calling out my name several times.

"Roxanne! Hey! What's wrong with you?"

"Ah! Yes? I'm sorry, what is it again?"

"I said, could you pass me that yarn ball. The red one."

I passed her the yarn ball and she thanked me in return.

Focused on crocheting, she asked "You've been spacing out a lot lately. Is there any problem?"

I just shook my head "Nothing. I'm . . ah. . just thinking — about some . . stuffs."- my lousy excuse.

Gosh! As if I'm gonna tell her that I'm reminiscing about my heartbreak.