15 The decision

After dropping Yul and coming back, Zeng changed into his pyjamas. He flopped on a bed with his phone. Today was just . . . He shied away just thinking about it. Biting his lip, he dialled a number which he called when faced with such a dilemma.

Dr Meng Zaria was sitting across the TV with a bowl of popcorn on her lap. Her beautiful girlfriend Xuan Lu was working around their house. Being the spoilt one, Zaria's job around the house was only to wash the dishes. Xuan Lu would be taking care of everything else.

The cell phone on the centre table rang. Zaria saw her friend's name and answered it, "What happened now? Spit it out." She directly came to the point as she chewed on the popcorn after muting the TV.

"Can't you ask nicely?" Xiao Zeng frowned, sitting on his bed and hugging a pillow.

"Want me to punch you through the phone?" Zaria threatened. Xiao Zeng knew better not to get on the nerves of this ex-delinquent. He still wondered to this day how she ended up as a pediatric surgeon despite that fiery temper of her. He sighed giving up on his try to get some kind words and instead shared his dilemma.

"Zaria, You remember Cheng from Medicine? He asked me to fill in for a camp on his behalf. So there's this guy whom I met there. He is a police trainee. And he . . . he proposed to me."

"Woah!" She set the popcorn bowl on the table, "Awesome! You said yes, right? Because I swear to God, Zeng, if you had rejected this one too then I'll stab you with unsterilized needles."

She threatened and Zeng shuddered at the thought. He somehow managed to answer in a low, sheepish voice,

"Um… not exactly. I didn't say yes and I also didn't say no. We are actually in the middle somewhere. Plus, he's bisexual, you see."

"You idiot! Not all bisexuals are the same. How many times did I tell you already?" She almost screamed in frustration. Then turned to her girlfriend who was ironing her uniform, her voice turned remarkable soft, "Xuan Lu, why is this guy so dumb?"

Xuan Lu smiled gently while doing her work. She shook her head at her girlfriend's short temper. "Please don't bully Zeng. He's your friend. You should be nice to him, Zaria," she requested.

Zaria sighed, straightened herself for a serious talk, "Look, my Lu jie says not to bully you so I will try to say this as politely as possible." She breathed, "It has been two fu¢king years already, Zeng. You have to leave the past behind. You cannot dwell on it forever." Frustration was clearly audible in her voice.

"I know. I just need some more time." Zeng bit his bottom lip. He knew he was being unreasonable because every person was different but he didn't want to go through something like that time again. The past memories flooded in and a gloom crossed over his face. Zaria's voice across the phone brought him back.

"Zeng, take all the time you want but please don't let your past affect your future any more than this. The sooner you leave it, the better. Okay? . . . And by the way, how is that new lover boy? Did he charm you yet?"

"Oh, he . . ." Zeng smiled to himself forming a picture of Yul, "He is nice. Very honest and straightforward. He's actually much younger than me, about 20 years old. Very cute at times and he sure has a nice build. I mean, I haven't seen anything . . . I just know. When we hold hands, I feel really safe. He appears cold and distant at first but is actually a sweetheart. His actions are sometimes very childish and his thoughts about the world are so innocent. And when he smiles, his eyes twinkle. He's just . . . he's nice, really nice."

Zaria raised her well-trimmed eyebrows, "Damn! Sounds like a whole package. Except- he's a man, so that's a major turn off for me. Okay, I approve of this guy based on your description of him. However, I believe he must be a major crackhead to fall for an overthinking idiot like you."

"Shut up, Zaria! Don't diss him. He's perfect." Zeng defended with a frown.

Meng Zaria laughed wholeheartedly, slapping on the sofa and got scolded by Xuan Lu for bullying Zeng and spilling the popcorn. She got back to the phone after calming down.

"Alrighty, so he is a good guy. He likes you and to a certain extent, you like him too. I don't see any problem with taking it a step forward and labelling your relationship. As you have told, that kid is willing to wait for you. Give him a chance or more like, give yourself a chance, okay?"

"Yes, I understand," Zeng murmured

The call ended. Zeng felt much better after talking to Zaria and moreover felt a burden lift off his chest. Maybe he should give himself a chance with Yul. After all, he was a great guy to be with and Zeng liked him too. He should try to put a label on their relationship, as Zaria said he should not keep Yul hanging in the middle. Either yes or no, he should tell the boy clearly and not raise the boy's expectations unnecessarily. The thought alone of saying no to him made Zeng's heart ache. I couldn't do that, neither did he want to. If possible, he would want to be with Yul. Yes, he was scared to admit it but he did have enough affectionate feelings for that police trainee.

Sure, it would be difficult for him but he had to try. He shouldn't dwell on the past. It was time to move on.

Zeng had finally decided. This coming Sunday, he would talk to Yul. A smile made its way on his face just by imagining the younger guy's reaction. Clutching his pillow tightly, he slumped onto the bed, ready to fall asleep but couldn't. Moreover, the fact that Yul had slept in the same bed this whole afternoon didn't help it at all as Zeng hid his flushed face under the blanket.