"But I really like you. I am serious about us." Yul tried stating his point but the other was in no mood to listen.
"Listen, kid," Zeng tried to explain in his own way but Yul felt a bit offended hearing the word Zeng described him as. He still saw him as someone incapable of making his own decisions, a kid. And it hurt.
The older one continued, "I know, you may be curious and all but I want you to think about it, okay? And it's alright to be confused but you should at least have some confirmation. Knowing your sexual orientation is important for your own good."
Yul didn't know what to say. He was being sincere then why weren't his feelings reaching the other, "I am not doing this out of curiosity, Zeng ge. Yes, I am not gay but I like you, in a romantic way. That's all I know."
Zeng sighed. How can we make the other understand him when he is like this?
"Try to understand, Yul," Zeng spoke, his voice desperate, "This won't work. Our choices, our personalities, our habits, our professions. We are too different to be together," he said, trying to push back his emerging feelings.
Yul, on the other hand, knew the meaning behind that trembling voice, "Trust me, Zeng ge. It will be alright. I'll try to understand you more and we will make this work. We will make 'us' work, Zeng ge. I promise!"
Zeng had no idea what to do. He had never met anyone as gently persistent as this guy. He wanted to tell him off and not trust him but he also wanted to have faith over this guy's words. Ultimately, he gave in to the small hope that encouraged him to give his sincerity a chance. He shouldn't be doing this. A part of him had already predicted how this would end, him hurting in the end but he still wanted to take that chance. The boy in front of him was making his heart ache for a chance to love again.
"Fine, I'll give you a week's time. Let's meet next Sunday," he said, not meeting Yul's eyes like he wasn't sure of what he was saying. "Maybe you'll have sorted out your feelings by then. Yul, you are really young. Whatever you are feeling, it may be temporary, you know. This is the age where you make the most mistakes, maybe you have mistaken your feelings for me. Think about it over the week, okay?"
Yul didn't respond and so Zeng continued, "Let's send you back first."
The car ride was silent. Both were not in the same mood as they were in the morning. The atmosphere was as dark as the sky outside. Upon reaching the area of Academy, Zeng stopped his car and unbuckled his seat belt to have a better look at the younger man. When he turned, he saw a sulking Yul. His stomach twisted seeing the disheartened boy. Yul, too, removed his seatbelt and looked at Zeng, said, "Just because I am young, does not mean my feelings for you are not sincere." He got out of the car and left.
Zeng was too stunned to say anything.
He was about to go after Yul when the other came back and opened the door on the passenger side again. His breathing was uneven, "And yeah I'll do what you say, I'll think about it. Not that it's going to change anything, but I will do it. However, you'll also have to do what I say."
Zeng just blinked with his doe eyes and pursed his lips. He had anticipated harsh words or an outburst but the person before him was trying to be as gentle as possible.
"Think seriously about us," Yul pleaded, "I was not kidding when I proposed my feelings for you. So please, think about us."
Zeng felt his heart skipping a beat. The young man before him looked so small and fragile. Zeng was afraid to even be near him. What if I break him?
He was pulled out of his thoughts as Yul shifted in his seat. The trainee fidgeted before apologizing,
"And sorry, I raised my voice earlier... That was rude of me and I didn't mean to be rude. But it just came out... I was just so frustrated that you were backing away and I began thinking where I went wrong... but I didn't seem to find anything... and so I thought you just didn't like me... and that got to me even more and so I -..."
"Yul?" Zeng cut the blabbering boy.
"Yes," Yul responded.
"Calm down," Zeng stifled a laugh but it ultimately came out as a snort.
"Don't laugh, Zeng ge. I am serious here!" Yul pouted, frustrated that he was speaking with all this burden on his heart and the other person laughed.
Unexpectedly, a hand reached Yul's cheek and pinched the baby fat there. "You are cute," Zeng said, retracting his hand, leaving a lingering warm touch on Yul's skin.
Yul almost gave out a deep blush but had to stay calm and focus on what Zeng was about to say,
"You seem like a good guy, Yul. And I am sorry, I may have sounded harsh. But you should really think about it. You still have a choice. It's not too late for you. You can easily go back to how your life was." Zeng pressed his lips in a thin line, just hoping the boy would understand his perspective.
Yul almost groaned, "Why do you keep saying that over and over again? But fine, if you want me to think, then alright I will do it." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.
Even if he didn't want to go, the curfew time was minutes away. Yul got out of the car. Closing the door, he leaned to have a look inside the window, seeing the man who made his heart fill up with several emotions all at once. He had to confirm, looking ahead as he pondered over several things.
"We will meet next Sunday, right?"
Zeng gave a reassuring smile, "I promise."