The weather was pleasant today. The duo came out of the cafe and was greeted by a happy light sun, shining weakly above them. "You like sweets?" Zeng asked when they were seated in the car. Yul nodded.
"Good, then I will bake something for you whenever I have time," Zeng smiled as he turned to him.
Yul's eyes widened, "You can cook?" It was surprising for him as he himself had zero knowledge in that field. Cooking was one of the very few things that he couldn't master in.
"Of course I can. My mum says I could have been a chef if not a doctor," Zeng chuckled softly in a way that made Yul fall in love with him all over again.
"I'll bake some pastries for you the next time," Zeng said as he took a left turn.
Yul smiled externally and screamed internally. So there will be a next time! He already started planning on what to wear the next Sunday.
"Let's go to the complex. I have to buy a new scrub. Then we can decide where to go next."
Okay, Yul agreed but then the word 'scrub' made him question, "Wait, Zeng ge, are you a surgeon?"
Zeng nodded, "Yeah. Well, a few months more to be officially called a surgeon."
Yul let the new information sink in. Surgeons were a big deal for him. Having a human life in your hands wasn't a joke. Even thinking about it stressed him out. Not that he would tell Zeng. That would make him look uncool and it was the last thing he wanted. He bummed instead.
"Oh, but I thought you were a Medicine intern and that's why you came for the medical camp,"
Zeng spoke as he drove, his attention focused on the road ahead, "Actually, my friend from the Medicine department was not feeling well, so I filled up instead of him for the camp in your Academy."
After reaching the destined shop, Zeng took his time choosing the best quality scrub set. Later they decided to go for a movie and bought some snacks. Zeng bought two separate popcorn cups so Yul had no chance to share as he had initially thought would happen just like in the typical romance movies.
Zeng was getting more comfortable around him. He even caught Yul stealing glances at him and laughed making the other blush in embarrassment.
Today was fun. He had enjoyed like this after a lot of time and Yul seemed like a good guy despite his cold aura at first glance. Maybe, Zeng thought, he should just give it a shot.
After the movie, they decided to go for a walk in the park. Zeng had taken an Americano with him, thanks to his caffeine addiction which had saved him while working on endless nightshifts whereas Yul avoided coffee.
The sun had started to go further west and the light breeze touched their cheeks. The park only had a few visitors today. The two guys walked side-by-side, at a pace slower than usual.
"So what will you be doing after graduation?" Zeng asked him, sipping the Americano.
"Ah, after we graduate, we will be appointed as constables. Then after promotion or passing different exams, I may have my own team. I am planning for the counter-terrorism department. If not that then the anti-narcotics. I really want to graduate as soon as possible. I can't wait to go on the fields." Yul explained everything with excitement.
Zeng smiled at him and looked ahead, "Wow, you sound passionate about your job." He had noticed that Yul talked a lot about the things he was interested in. This Yul was completely different from the stuttering Yul from yesterday. The one from yesterday was rather cute and this one was sort of cool. He was likeable. Maybe, thought Zeng, he should give this guy a chance.
"Yul, can I ask you something personal? You are not obliged to answer, okay?"
"Sure, go ahead." They both kept walking slowly. Zeng wanted to know him better and hence decided to speak in that relation,
"When did you realise your orientation?"
"I am not gay. I just like you," Yul casually answered.
Zeng stopped sipping his coffee and looked up. His face went blank for a second before giving a polite smile. Eventually, the Americano, the only thing that was keeping him intact, decided to finish. Zeng dumped it in a garbage bin. They continued walking but whatever Yul talked after that seemed foreign to him.
That one time came, when he felt everything was pointless, "I forgot I had some work today. I should leave." He backed away and abruptly turned to leave.
Yul was confused by the sudden change. He tried to understand what happened and hence went behind him.
"Wait, what? But I thought you are free today." He caught Zeng's wrist and the doctor glared back at it.
"Oh, I- I am sorry," Yul instantly withdrew and bowed in apology.
"I am sorry but please don't leave like this. At least tell me what's wrong. You are simply shutting me off. Tell me if I had offended you in any way," he unconsciously raised his voice. Then breathed out, calming himself, his voice gentle as he spoke, "I know you are not obliged to answer me. But still... Please." Yul was desperately trying to figure out where things went wrong and how he could correct them. But he wouldn't know unless the other told him.
Zeng took a long look at him. Yul looked so pitiful and helpless. Zeng didn't want to push it this far but he lost control and Yul had to bear it without any of his fault. if anything it was his own fault for making it come to this. He should have asked beforehand. This was the first thing he should have asked after what had happened last time. He blamed his stupid self for being careless, for falling in this trap all over again. Poor Yul at least deserved an explanation.
"You are not gay, Yul," Zeng answered, taking a step closer to him, venom bitterly poisoning his tongue, "And because you are not gay, I can't be with you. I am just not ready for that again."