Chapter 11: Shib il ♡

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Now close your eyes." Jungkook whispered and grinned at the smiling image of his boyfriend that he could see in the mirror. They just came back from a date but he couldn't have waited longer for what he had in mind so he opened the pitch black box that has been seated inside his closet for days now. He picked the item with careful fingers and fixed it around an elegant neck, cooing when its owner jumped in surprise.

"Can I see?" Jimin's heart was thumping inside his chest at the possibilities. He thought he knew what his Daddy was offering him but he didn't want to get too enthusiastic and jump to conclusion. A little click followed and the adornment pressed tighter against his skin.

"You can open your eyes now." The pink-haired boy gasped when his cinnamon orbs spotted a beautiful collar complimenting him. It was rather thick and made of black leather and in the front it was closing around a coppery ring that encircled a heart-shaped padlock. The word "Owned" could be read on the lock and the sight of it made his insides quiver. "Do you like it?"

Being collared was a huge deal in the BDSM world so he could only turn around and search for his Dom's kind expression.

"Do you mean it?" Jungkook chuckled but leaned to kiss his forehead afterwards.

"Of course I do." His hand guided the other's head so it would lean on a side and turned to point in the mirror at the almost invisible JK that was written on the black strap. "It looks so good on you, kitten." The sight of the boy being marked as his made the tattoo artist want to push him against the wall and fuck him into the following day but he needed permission before that so he started with a passionate kiss, feeling the little body in front of him rubbing tantalizing against him.

"Daddy, please." The plea came out as a whisper.

"What do you need, baby?" He suspected what it was about due to the body language but like always, he wanted verbal consent and he believed this little habit he formed reassured Jimin greatly.

About half an hour later they were lying on the fluffy carpet of Jungkook's bedroom, feeling too spent to move towards the bed that was less than one meter away. A pink-dyed head was buried in the crook of the elder's neck and the latter was staring at the ceiling, his hands absent-mindedly searching revealed warm skin. He could feel swollen lips pressed against his pulse point and he heard a mumble he couldn't decipher.

"Hm?"

"Sleepy." Jimin whispered again, this time louder and Jungkook smile because his boyfriend seemed to be on low battery whenever they were done with physical contact. "Can I shower in the morning?" It has been a long day for the student who had a very important test in the morning and endless activities he needed to take part in before meeting his boyfriend for their usual date night so the man decided he could indulge him this time.

"Maybe I'll think about it if you give me some sugar." Jimin didn't hesitate to get up so he could press their mouths together gently. "How about my cheeks, huh?" Two sound pecks followed on the indicated areas and the tattoo artist wrapped his arms around the little boy in front of him. "Okay but just this time."

"Thank you, Daddy." A thumb began caressing a rosy face just in time for plump lips to form a perfect "o".

"What happened?" Jungkook's question caused for the other's ears to turn red.

"It's leaking –" The man got up right away and headed to the bathroom, encouraging the boy to stay still as he found a piece of cloth he could wet.

"Raise your bum, baby." Jimin did, even if embarrassed, and felt warm dampness rubbing against his thighs and entrance where drops of cum collected. It felt nice so he relaxed against the touch, even if he felt exposed, only gasping when something fairly hard pressed against his rim. He turned around to see his favorite baby blue buttplug that had "Good Boy" written on it and he didn't even flinch when the object slipped inside of him. "Up, now." Jimin took that as an invitation to crawl towards Jungkook and wrap his legs around his torso so he could be carried and carefully placed on the soft sheets. "Let me take off the collar."

"Can't I wear it to sleep?" The pink-haired boy looked borderline alarmed.

"No, pumpkin, it's too tight and it might hurt you." The pout that formed was too cute to handle but he decided he couldn't risk asphyxiation for the sake of it. "Come on, sweets." As soon as he took it off and placed it on his nightstand he watched Jimin wrapping his hand around his neck, probably disagreeing with the nakedness of it.

"But I want to wear it all the time." Jungkook sighed, unaware that his baby's eyes were turning glassy. "It's so pretty, Daddy." His voice was shaky so the tattoo artist gathered him into his arms, pressing a loving kiss to his temple.

"Daddy will look for a pretty substitute, sweet boy." It was cute what a crybaby his little was and whenever he would see him sad he would make sure to do everything possible to make him feel better. "No tears, little one." Jimin sniffled but nodded, his body curling further into the strong hold. He was slipping further and further into little space with each second that was passing so he exhaled loudly when Jungkook asked how he was feeling.

Maybe the intimacy was making him feel vulnerable and that was the reason he was feeling like that. Either way, he was sure that he wanted his boyfriend close.

"Do you want to go to sleep?" Jimin shook his head hesitantly. "Then what do you want us to do?"

"Read?"

The younger boy closed his eyes as soon as Jungkook's silky voice filled the room and did his best to concentrate on the words but it took a little over fifteen minutes for him to fall asleep, his head resting against the other's beating heart.

He dreamt he accidentally opened a vein and his blood was flowing everywhere so he woke up in the middle of the night drowning in his own sweat. He wasn't completely out of little space and he was petrified with fear so sobs began to crush his body, his anxiety hitting the roof. He could feel Jungkook's arm wrapped around him and he didn't want to wake up the man so he slowly pushed it off him, doing his best to leave the bed without bothering. He felt like choking so when a loud sob ripped through his chest he felt the other moving and turned to watch Jungkook rubbing his eyes confusedly.

"Min?" That was all he needed to trigger the ugly feelings that had been bubbling inside of him. It was not the pretty type of crying, he was howling, the pressure inside of his chest growing with each hitched inhale. "Fuck." The tattoo artist hurried to turn on the lamp and something pulled at his heart when he saw the panicked expression of his boyfriend. "No, baby, no. Come here." Jimin gulped and headed towards the taller man, welcoming the warmth enveloping his body. "You're okay. Breathe for me, kitten."

"A-A night-nightmare." He sobbed and felt big hands cupping his face and moving it so foreheads could press together.

"It was just a bad dream, angel. It's not real, you're with me now." Jungkook whispered against his lips and kissed him chastely. "Look at me, Min." Jimin's pupils were dilated because of the fear but their eyes met right away. "I love you and I'm going to protect you."

The silence become deafening during the following passing moments but the student could feel his heartbeat slowing down, his brain trying to comprehend the words he's been told. He looked at his untouched arms and nodded. He was going to be alright.

"O-Okay."

"It's been a stressful couple of days, little one." He nodded in agreement and allowed his body to be slowly rocked back and forth, his breathing still abnormal. Jungkook continued to whisper sweet encouragements into his ear, stopping only for the sake of innocent kisses pressed on his forehead and he finally calmed down in what felt like forever but all the sleepiness left his body.

"I'll go a-and watch TV, go to sleep." Jimin whispered and pulled away from the embrace.

"I'm not leaving you alone." The tattoo artist protested and watched as the smaller one walked out of the bedroom, his arms wrapped around his middle protectively. Jungkook looked for a pair of fluffy socks that didn't belong to him and grabbed the pink panda before following him, stretching his body as he went. He could understand that the student wanted some time alone but he didn't want him to hurt himself so he wasn't going to respect his wish. "The Little Mermaid" was already playing on the TV when he spotted Jimin curled on the couch so he sat at the opposite end and grabbed the small feet into his hands, slowly putting the socks on them.

"Thank you." Jimin whispered and grabbed the stuffed animal that was offered to him. "You have work tomorrow."

"Hush." He couldn't say that he was going to cancel his morning appointments but he was sure he could spend as much time as it was needed up and function the next day. He lied down and spooned the younger, his fingertips slipping under a large t-shirt to caress a soft tummy. He almost fell asleep twice during the animation and when it ended the other turned around to caress his features.

"Please go to sleep. I won't do anything bad, I promise."

"I know you won't, sweetheart, but I couldn't sleep knowing you're up and alone." He wasn't sure how far into little space his boyfriend was so he had yet to figure it out. "When I was a child, my mother always prepared me one special drink that helped me fall asleep."

"A magical one?" Jungkook grinned at the cute question.

"You'll have to try it and see."

He didn't need much conviction so they headed towards the kitchen where Jimin took a place on the counter and watched as his Daddy looked for the ingredients inside the fridge. It was a lot less pretentious than he expected - heated milk with honey - but as soon as he took a gulp he hummed at the deliciousness.

"It's so good, Daddy!" It tasted sweet enough for him to finish it in less than a minute and he motioned for the elder to step closer so he could kiss his lips and share the taste. "Can I have some more?"

"Only if you promise me that you'll try to go to sleep afterwards."

It was an attractive game and Jimin sometimes couldn't believe that Jungkook was still so patient when it came to him. He knew he could be difficult even if he tried his best and he was happy that his lover didn't mention once giving up on their relationship.

More than half of their days were starting and ending with them cuddling on the same bed. They were spending a lot of time separated due to Jimin's uni and Jungkook's job but their relationship felt healthier than any they both ever experienced. The week passed without them even realizing and Saturday night sneaked on them so the pink-haired boy was currently looking at his boyfriend who was dressing one of his best suits.

Jungkook looked hot in formal clothes but he couldn't concentrate on that because worry was seeded inside his mind at the idea of them attending that BDSM party. He hasn't lied – he was sure he could handle it and he agreed to go because it wasn't fair for him not to grant such a small wish of his boyfriend but being surrounded by so many dominants reminded him of terrible memories. He was dressed in a simple long-sleeved white shirt and black pants that matched his collar perfectly, his hair styled messily.

"Is it okay if I wear glittery pink gloss?" His voice was small, knowing that kind of make-up didn't really go along with his outfit.

"It's more than okay."

They discussed every little detail before calling for a cab and Jimin was relieved to find out that his boyfriend was going to not let go of his hand during the entire night. The man decided he was not going to consume anything alcoholic even if he was not playing so he would be able to make sure that his baby was comfortable at all times.

It happened that Jimin was familiar with the club they were going to so he hasn't been surprised when he climbed down the spiral stairs that took them to the main room. It was hot inside so they both gave up on their jackets at the wardrobe before greeting a few of Jungkook's acquaintances. The sub could already spot some people kneeling on the cold floor and his stomach turned upside down at the thought that his boyfriend could request the same thing from him. He won't. Jimin could feel his anxiety growing inside of him and he blamed it on the fact that he could never feel safe in places like that.

"Let's get something to drink, sweets." Jungkook voice made him snap out of it so he followed the other, his hands already getting clammy. "I'll have a Cola, how about you?"

"Orange juice, please."

He sat on one of the tall chairs as he waited for his glass and nervously looked at his fingers that were now tangled on his lap. The tattoo artist was joking with the bartender and he looked like he completely forgot about his boyfriend so the latter felt a little out of his place, aware that he couldn't just look around. Most Doms didn't allow submissives to look at them without permission.

"Here you go." A tall glass was placed in front of him and Jungkook leaned to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you." The words were barely audible so the man immediately furrowed his brows.

"Are you okay?" He nodded hurriedly, still avoiding dark browns and felt a hand running through his hair. "Remind me what your special words are, please."

"Yellow if I want to take a break and mango if I want to stop everything." He recited and took a sip from his juice, his hand shaking. He couldn't safeword already, they have just arrived and nothing happened to him; no matter how uncomfortable he was feeling, he needed to think rationally. "I'm fine."

Jungkook was trusting him enough to believe him so they moved towards the place where the couches were placed, surprised to find Hoseok lying on one of them, his head on Yoongi's lap. They were looking like they were involved in a really intense conversation until the sub burst into laughter, his volume taking everyone around them by surprise.

"Behave." Yoongi warned as he tried to stifle his smile and spotted the newcomers. "Oh, look who's here." The redhead immediately jumped from his place in order to hug Jimin and to offer him a place on the couch.

There was a lot of hearsay around him so the pink-haired boy couldn't fully enjoy his friend's company. He considered Hobi one of his best friends and he couldn't remember a time in which he didn't feel alright around him so that night was a first. The other didn't fail to see how pale and jumpy the little was so he leaned to whisper something into his lover's ear. That was all Yoongi needed to ask Jungkook to join him outside for a cigarette.

"The kid doesn't look like he's having a good time."

"What?" Jungkook was confused. "What makes you think so?" Doe eyes followed as large hands grabbed a pack of well-known cigarettes and fished one in order to place it in between soft lips.

"His body language yells get me out of here." Jungkook knew his hyung wasn't disregarding him as a dom, he knew he would have never said something just to hurt him but at the same time he was sure of what Jimin told him.

"He told me he's alright, the moment he will safeword we'll be out of here." The thought that he wasn't a good Daddy began creeping inside his mind.

"He might not want to disappoint you, Kook-ah." There were some things that he had to simply know when it came to their subs, they had a conversation about that before but he wanted Jimin to be fair and to trust him. He wanted to believe they grew close enough not to lack communication. Yoongi exhaled a cloud of smoke and he could feel his eyes burning holes into his skin.

"I need to trust him. Nothing bad will happen." It was clear that the elder would have wanted to say more but he didn't, deciding to respect his wish instead. He loved the way his best friend was trying to help without pushing him in any direction and came to the conclusion that he was going to trust Jimin's words. As soon as they walked back he fixed Jimin who was smiling because of Hoseok, the latter offering him his famous back rubs.

Nothing much happened because they didn't enter the play room but he noticed Jimin's grimaces whenever he spotted people doing dirty things somewhere near them. He was waiting for one word to break the spell but he soon lost himself into conversations with some other doms, sharing and listening to fun stories, his hand always holding Jimin's. The boy was mostly quiet, only answering when he was asked questions so he tried to offer as much physical comfort as he could provide without crossing the line.

"What a pretty boy you found for yourself, Jeon." One of the strangers said and smiled widely, drawing Jimin's attention. The pink-haired boy let go of Jungkook's fingers and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to focus on his exhales and ignore the anxiety that was making his insides tingle. He was feeling like a piece of meat; he didn't want to be there.

"Thank you." His Daddy's calm words made him want to throw up so he got up and headed for the bar where Hoseok already was, using the excuse that he wanted another drink.

"Minminie ~" Hobi called for him and opened his arms to receive a tight hug. The pet name made him want to be little – no, he was already feeling little and vulnerable. "Let's get you something yummy to drink." He ended up on the elder's lap, eagerly enjoying the strawberry juice he's been offered.

Hoseok's presence was calming him down and he didn't let himself being intimidated by his friend's boyfriend who was staring at them without saying a word. It was cute how they were total opposites: it was like the sun and the moon were in a romantic relationship. By the time he decided to go back to Jungkook he was feeling better but he stopped in tracks when one of the doors opened and he managed to peek inside the other room. Daeshim, his previous Dom was standing right there, his eyes glued on what he suspected it was a stage.

He needed to get out of there but he didn't have the courage to tell Jungkook that when they were surrounded by strangers so he headed towards the mint-haired tattoo artist who was still enjoying his whiskey at the bar.

"Yoongi-hyung." He gulped, his throat dry. "Could you please t-tell Jungkook that we need to go? Please." He sounded so urgent that the elder didn't hesitate to jump off the chair. "I-I'll wait for him outside."

His vision was blurred so he hurried up the stairs, realising he forgot his jacket only when the cold air began to burn his lungs. He wanted to get as far away as possible from that man and from that feeling. He was feeling dirty and he wanted nothing more but to curl himself into a ball and disappear. He felt like his heart could explode so when Jungkook stepped out of the door he wanted to hug him but stopped as soon as he realised that his boyfriend looked absolutely furious.

"What the hell happened, Jimin?" The tone of the question was low and frightening, nothing the sub was used to.

" 'm f-feeling little, Daddy." He stuttered, panicked that they wouldn't get away fast enough and he would have to face that monster.

"No. I want to have a serious conversation so I can find out why you didn't tell me you wanted to leave before. Why you send Yoongi-hyung to tell me that you're already out of there." Jungkook ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, unaware that his boyfriend looked frozen with panic. "This kind of behaviour... Fuck! You made a fool out of me in front of everyone."

"But –"

"Why didn't you safeword?" The man's insides were still burning with shame, his mind replaying the visions of the many mocking looks he's been offered. Never has he ever been put down like that by a submissive of his. "How am I supposed to trust you with anything?"

"Daddy –" Jimin tried again, tears already pooling inside his eyes. He wanted to explain, he wanted to make him understand that he has been good but his plea seemed to annoy Jungkook further.

"Cut that shit!" The words came out harsher than either of them expected and Jimin flinched at the sound of them, taking a step back by instinct. The teardrops he tried so hard to contain began to stream down his face and he looked at his worn-out sneakers.

"Jungkook, stop." Yoongi's cold voice startled the both of them and Jimin felt arms wrapping around him, taking in the sweet aroma that belonged to Hoseok. "Think twice before opening your mouth." The pink-haired boy's chest began heaving at the words so his friends decided to guide him further from the other two, never breaking the hug.

"Focus on breathing, Minnie, everything's okay." Everything was not okay. The only person he allowed himself to open up to just reminded him of how worthless he was. He was hurt and confused because Jungkook always encouraged him to explore his little side only to finally decide it was just some crap he sometimes put up with. The idea it has always been an illusion up to that point was killing him. "Come on, baby, Hobi will drive you home."

He didn't say goodbye to Jungkook. All that he knew was that Hobi's bomber jacket was already wrapped around his shoulders as he entered the small grey car that belonged to the other. He was overwhelmed with feelings but he heard the man driving talking on the phone with his boyfriend, telling him that he was going to come back in about an hour.

"Is Taetae home, angel?" Jimin nodded and sniffled. "I think you can find tissues in one of the pockets." He did so he blew his nose before deciding to thank his friend. "No worries."

A few more minutes passed in complete silence.

"I know it's not my place to talk but – Jungkook isn't a bad guy." He knew that already, there was no need for a confirmation. It was his fault for being like this, for acting so annoying, for not having the guts to speak for himself. He was the one who didn't deserve Jungkook. "He was angry, I'm sure he didn't mean any of the things he said. He cares for you deeply."

"I know that, Hobi-hyung. I know."

"He'll apologize so when he does please listen to what he has to say, okay?" He nodded even if in his opinion his tattoo artist shouldn't.

The apartment he shared with Taehyung wasn't that far away and he didn't get out of the car before thanking the man again. His best friend was already asleep by the sound of it so he headed towards the bathroom, suffocating at the sight of the collar around his neck. He struggled to get it off and washed his face before bursting into crying again, his whole body trembling. Before he realised he was on his knees, throwing up everything he had for dinner, barely being able to breathe between the heaves. He almost fell asleep with his head resting against the toilet seat but moved when Bunny began scratching at the door.

He didn't let him in, instead he brushed his teeth and calmly grabbed one of his razor blades, knowing already that was the only remedy. He didn't even bother to wash the cuts that split his skin, instead he rolled down his sleeves and headed towards his bedroom, burying himself in between soft sheets. He shouldn't have allowed himself to be little, he was a nuisance for Jungkook. Abnormal. Dirty. He couldn't fall asleep so he kept weeping until his heart felt empty of emotions, ignoring the buzzes of his phone that was forgotten somewhere on the floor.

Notes:

Thank youuuuuu ~ for reading and for being supportive of this story! I'm sorry for ending this chapter with a cliffhanger (￣▽￣) (I actually am not because I'm the devil *insert evil laughter*). I am so curious about your opinions on this update as I know some of you sensed the angst that was coming. o(≧▽≦)o You're the loveliest and I hope you will have a wonderful, magical week! <3

PS: I apologise to those who expected this chapter to be smutty/sexy! Unfortunately the plot crushed your expectations but I hope you still enjoyed it as it was! x