Tomo Kan Pt. 2

Lying in bed, Kai stared at the dimly lit ceiling, shadows dancing above from the light of day that was breaking. With Jinn sleeping beside him, Kai exhaled heavily deciding, he better get up before his boyfriend sensed that he was awake. Throwing on whatever sweats and t-shirt were laying around, Kai slipped on his sneakers, grabbed his phone and left out of the apartment.

When Kai got off of the elevator, he exited the building and just kept walking, deciding a walk would be better than a drive this morning. Although Jinn had worn out his body last night, his mind was still on the move.

"Tomo Kan.", Kai whispered to himself as he walked. Although he was stressed, Kai couldn't help it as a smirk made its way onto his handsome yet baby face. Letting out a small chuckle, Kai's laugh soon turned into a whine as his face grew gloomy again, if a stranger had witnessed his strange behavior, they would think he was bipolar for sure.

"Fucking Tomo Kan!", Kai said loudly this time and no smirk followed. Although he hated finding out the way he did, Kai couldn't help, but to be proud of himself. He had worked hard for years, proving every over the top praise like job recommendation he had gotten from his college professors right and now Tomo Kan had noticed him. It wasn't often that a foreign businessman would come to work with a nobody and be willing to pay for that individual, not to mention moving him to Japan. Letting out a sigh, Kai was at a loss. Had Tomo Kan decided this ten months ago, the decision would have been easy, but now there was Jinn. The man who had persistently pursued him no matter how much of a dick he had been in the beginning. The man he had come to trust, the man he had decided to truly let his first love go for, and the man he allowed himself to fall in love with.

Pouting, Kai began to stomp his feet as he walked, like a child who had just been told that they weren't allowed to have a cookie before dinner. Puffing out his cheeks and blowing the air out slowly, Kai stopped at the corner waiting for the red light to change. As Kai waited, what Jinn's Mother had said crossed his mind and he came to a realization. Was this really about taking the job in Japan or was it actually about the fact that he was starting to feel that he didn't belong with Jinn? Jinn loved him yes, but would he really be doing him any favors if he decided to stay? Hadn't being with him caused Jinn more trouble than it was worth? Kai thought as his eyes began to water.

As Kai waited for the light to change, his phone sounded in his pocket. Pulling it out and unlocking it, Kai opened his message.

"Babe, where'd you go?", the message read, it was from Jinn.

"Just out for a walk, be home soon.", Kai responded, putting his phone back in his pocket and crossing the street.

Back at the apartment, Jinn was awake, but hadn't bothered to get out of bed yet. As his phone buzzed, he quickly unlocked it. Reading the message that Kai had replied, Jinn sighed, tossing his phone to Kai's side of the bed. Although Thanksgiving was over, Jinn knew that Kai was most likely still feeling pretty crappy, not to mention out of pure anger and stupidity, he had blurted out in front of everyone about Tomo Kan's offer. Letting out a heavy exhale, Jinn fell backward onto the bed, letting out a loud growl, irritated with himself as the look of Kai's shocked face when he heard the news kept playing over and over again in his brain.

Jumping out of bed, Jinn decided he would start his day with a cup of coffee and still feeling as though he needed to make it up to his boyfriend, Jinn figured he might as well start with breakfast.

Getting off of the elevator, Kai unlocked the door and went in to see Jinn in the kitchen and the smell of curry filling the apartment. Creeping into the kitchen, Kai went unnoticed as he placed himself at one of the bar stools and watched Jinn as he worked. Jinn worked hard, carefully flipping the omelet frying in the pan while Kai sat quietly watching. Even though Jinn's back was only visible, Kai couldn't help but to smile, this would be one of the things that he would miss.

"Jinn.", Kai finally spoke. Startled, Jinn spun around to see Kai sitting there with that familiar beautiful smile on his face, only this time tears were swelling in his eyes. Removing the pan from the fire, Jinn put down the spatula, walked around the island and wrapped his arms around Kai, not saying anything at all.

Hugging, the two stayed like that for a while before Jinn finally spoke, "join me for breakfast?", he leaned his head back, making eye contact.

"…", not saying anything Kai nodded, and Jinn smiled, his dimples present. Kissing Kai on the forehead, Jinn let go making his way back to the stove.

After Jinn had finished cooking the curried shrimp omelets with grits, he placed both plates on the island, one where Kai was sitting and the other next to him.

"Wow, this looks amazing!", said Kai as he dug in.

With a smile, Jinn sat down, "I hope you like it, thought I'd try something new.", he responded

Rolling his eyes first Kai chuckled, "of course it tastes good, nothing you've ever made tasted bad. Hey Jinn, do you remember the first time you made me breakfast here in your apartment?"

Jinn smirked, "You mean our apartment, but of course I do because I was nervous as fuck trying to impress you."

Kai let out a chuckle, "It really didn't make any sense at the time, although sometimes I wonder if it still doesn't", Kai responded, his smile suddenly fading.

Quickly looking up, Jinn snapped his head in Kai's direction. "Kai.."

"Just think about it.", Kai interrupted. "A drunken fucked up night brought us together and then you happened to be my new manager."

"One would call that fate.", said Jinn.

"Or circumstance. It's beginning to feel like this was a mistake.", said Kai as his eyes watered.

"Kai!", Jinn suddenly jumped out of his seat, grabbing Kai by the knees and turning him toward him. "Why are you talking like that? Am I not making you happy?" Jinn said with tears in his eyes.

Kai directed his attention down at his lap, "Jinn, have you realized how much of a mess I am? It took me months to trust myself with loving you, I have hurt you time and time again with my selfish ways, what are you even getting out of this? Your Mom she…"

"Kai, look at me!" Jinn raised his voice and Kai quickly looked up, tears rolling down his face. "Kai, listen to me when I say, I…do…not…care if my Mother ever accepts our relationship, why do you care so much?"

"Because I don't want that for you! I don't want to be the wedge in between you two!", Kai raised his voice.

"Stop this! You're just looking for a reason!", Jinn yelled walking away from Kai.

"There are a million reasons right in front of you Jinn, but you can't see them!", Kai yelled.

"And what about my reason huh? Does it even matter to you how much I love you?" Jinn stopped, turning back to Kai, tears streaming down his face.

"You know it does! You know it does, that's why this is so hard for me!", Kai yelled as he leaned forward, unable to hold his cry back anymore.

Jinn stormed back over toward Kai, grabbing him tight, "please don't do this, what are you doing?", Jinn's voice cracked.

"Jinn", Kai cried, "I'm trying to break up with you."

"You don't mean that.", Jinn sniffled as he buried his head in the nape of Kai's neck.

"Let me go..", Kai said softly, but Jinn held on.

"I don't accept that! Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me!" Jinn yelled back, holding up his head to look at Kai.

Unable to look at Jinn any longer, Kai shoved him away, "I'm taking that Job offer.", he said steadying his shaky voice.

"Kai!", Jinn pleaded, his face wet and red.

"I'll be out of here soon, just give me a few.", said Kai getting down from the bar stool and walking out of the kitchen.

"You can't even say it!", Jinn yelled picking up the full glass plates that held their breakfast and throwing them against the wall, food and glass shattering into a million pieces onto the kitchen floor where Kai had left him a broken mess. Slouching against the counter, Jinn slid down onto the floor where he cried loudly.

In the bedroom Kai muffled his own cry with his hand as he packed with the other, while he was forced to listen to Jinn wail in the kitchen. Jinn had never allowed himself to cry like that in front of Kai before, and it broke Kai's heart, but this time, this time he had to let him go through it, he couldn't go hold him no matter how much he wanted to.

Quickly throwing pants, shirts, his toothbrush and other necessities into his small suitcase, Kai power walked down the hall, stopping at the kitchen. With his body trembling, Kai stared at the broken man he had left crumbling in the kitchen, and it was taking everything in him to not drop his suitcase and run over and hold him close. Squeezing his eyes tight, as the tears streamed down his face, Kai took a deep breath and walked out of the apartment.

Getting into his car, Kai threw his head back against the headrest multiple times, he didn't want to leave Jinn, but it had to be done. The universe had been shoving sign after sign in their faces and they were still trying to make things work when it was never going to.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Jinn!", Kai cried, resting his head onto his hands as he held onto the steering wheel.

After Kai had calmed down enough to drive, he put his key in the ignition and drove off.

Back in the apartment, Jinn had moved himself into the bedroom. Leaning over the side of the bed, Jinn sat holding up the thin chained lock necklace, his gaze fixed on the lock as it spun around in the air. Dropping his arm, Jinn squeezed the necklace in his hand, that he had given to Kai as tears continued to stream down his face. Kai had left the necklace behind, just like he had left him.