My Little Sun

Hours after Art had left, Jinn and Kai went to bed for the night, only Kai was wide awake staring at the ceiling. Unfortunately, Kai had given in, deciding to work on Art's project and that took hours. Art had ended up leaving later than Kai expected and Jinn had already been sitting on the couch with his head nodding, so there was no time to ask him anything. Kai let out an exhale and he suddenly felt Jinn throw his arm over, pulling him close, "Can't sleep?", said Jinn in a lethargic voice, as he had just woken up, for some reason he always knew when Kai wasn't at peace beside him.

"I can't.", said Kai.

"Need me to help you relax?" asked Jinn as his arm made its way below Kai's waist, but Kai grabbed Jinn's arm holding onto it.

"Don't." said Kai, letting out another sigh.

"What's wrong? You've been acting strange all night." said Jinn, leaning up on his side. Kai laid still as he clutched Jinn's arm tightly, how was he going to ask his boyfriend if he had shared a man before? The thought of asking just felt dirty, not to mention he was also going to have to tell Jinn that Art had made a pass at him and if this was their norm, was Jinn even going to care?

"Kai, talk to me babe.", said Jinn, his voice not as tired as he had woken up a bit more.

Kai took a deep breath, exhaling heavily, "Have you ever shared a guy before?" Kai suddenly blurted out.

Jinn retracted his arm from Kai's grip, reaching behind him to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, when he turned back around his sleepy face was a bit mortified. "Why do you ask?", he responded.

Kai sat up, staring down at his lap, his stomach knotting as he became more nervous. Kai hoped Jinn's reaction was going to be as outraged by the question as he was when Art had mentioned it, but that wasn't the case. "Art…he.", said Kai nervous to even continue what he had to say.

"Art what?" said Jinn, his voice sounding a bit strange, almost nervous and a bit angered all at one time.

Kai looked up at Jinn with sad eyes, "Jinn…Art made a pass at me, he said you two share men?"

The moment Kai said the word "share" Jinn lowered his head and raised his hand to cover his face.

Seeing Jinn's reaction Kai grew furious, "so is that what this is? Did you think you were going to convince me to help Art so he could have his shot as well? Well fuck you both!", said Kai as he quickly got up out of bed, but Jinn grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"Kai, let me explain!" said Jinn as Kai roughly pulled his arm away, grabbing his phone, keys and sneakers, he stormed out of the room and Jinn jumped off the bed running behind him.

Grabbing a hold of Kai again, Jinn roughly pushed him against the wall holding him there, his grip tight on either side of Kai's arms.

"Get the fuck off!" Kai yelled angrily, with tears in his eyes.

"Not until you listen! You asked me a question, but you didn't give me the chance to explain!" Jinn yelled loudly and Kai instantly froze as tears streamed down his face, it had only happened a few times, but it shook Kai to the core whenever Jinn yelled at him.

Feeling bad Jinn quickly removed his hands, lowering his head momentarily and when he looked back up, he had tears in his eyes. "If the last eight months meant anything to you, anything at all then you'll listen to what I have to say.", said Jinn as he backed up walking past Kai to the living room and sitting on the couch. Leaning his head back onto the wall, Kai let out a heavy exhale, wiped his face and walked into the living room, sitting on the couch quite a distance from Jinn.

The room was silent for a minute when Jinn let out a heavy exhale, "Kai, what Art said is true, although it's not what you think."

Kai looked up at Jinn, still unable to believe what he was hearing, did he even know Jinn anymore? Jinn exhaled deeply again and continued. "When I was in my first year of college I struggled with…coming out. I understood that I didn't see woman in a romantic way, but I wasn't comfortable with it. Art had a boyfriend named Allen. Like Art, Allen swung both ways. Nobody knew, but Jenna and I that they were together, so we all made a pact to keep it that way. Allen was someone I quickly became comfortable with as I spent a lot of time with him and Art. He was a funny guy, a breath of fresh air, the sun on a cold winter day, always a smile on his face. I could tell him anything and he always knew what to say to cheer me up. He was the first guy I had developed a deep kind of connection with, but before I knew it, I had fallen in love with that sun, that sun that belonged to someone else. One day Art left us alone and like an idiot, I took advantage telling Allen how I felt about him, but his reaction wasn't quite what I expected it to be. I expected him to laugh, saying how cute it was that his boyfriends brother had a crush on him, but instead he kissed me, told me that it was fine for him to be with me too."

Taking a deep breath Jinn inhaled deeply, pausing for a minute. "Things went on like that for a while, I was so in love with Allen that I just wanted to be with him, but it wasn't long after I began to feel a bit of jealousy whenever I saw Allen with Art. I even tried to convince Allen that Art wasn't serious about him, because Art never stayed with anybody long, but Allen didn't care because he said that we were all still young, nothing the three of us shared was serious. Hearing someone you love say that what we have was nothing serious hurt, but that was what I needed to come to my senses. After Allen told me that, I realized that the sun I had found comfort in was a falling star. I held onto that star because he was the only other person that I had boldly told outside of my siblings that I was gay and he accepted me. That was a dark period in my life that I am not proud of Kai.", said Jinn as he hung his head low.

Kai looked up as his eyes watered, he had never asked Jinn what coming out for him was like, but now everything made sense. "And he was the only person you two shared?" Kai asked, his voice soft.

"I swear he was the only one.", said Jinn with his head still hanging low. Closing his eyes momentarily Kai, exhaled heavily before he stood, making his way over and sitting beside Jinn. Stretching them wide, Kai wrapped his arms around Jinn, sorry he had even doubted him in the first place. Sighing heavily, Jinn rested his head on Kai's chest, the two of them staying on the couch that way for a while. All Jinn could think about was how he still had to deal with Art, he would be damned if he ever came that close to losing Kai again because of Art and his bullshit.

The next morning Kai awoke to the light of the sun dancing on his face, "Screw you Mr. Sun." said Kai as he rolled over to see that Jinn wasn't in bed, unfortunately the sun wasn't that pleasant this morning. Kai sat up and yawned, picking up his phone, he saw that he had a few texts, a couple from Dana and one from Jinn.

Kai opened Dana's message first, "Hey Kai, just checking in, thanks for the funds you sent, I appreciate it, but I will be repaying you back very soon, Momma's got a new job!", the text read followed by a picture of Dana cheesing hard in her new dorky work uniform hat. Kai smirked sending Dana laughing gif, then opened Jinn's text and it read, "Hey didn't want to wake you, but I have some things I need to take care of, have a good day." Kai sighed, responding "okay.", he was pretty sure where Jinn had gone, he just didn't really understand what was going on in his head at the moment. It was always tough having to relive a dark past and Jinn was no different, if Kai could take it all back, he would never have agreed to this project in the first place.

The time was about 5:50pm and Kai was balled up on the couch watching tv when he finally heard the door unlocking. In walked Jinn, groaning as he shut the door, he then walked over and sat on the couch next to Kai.

Kai looked over to see Jinn with a blank expression, "How was your day? What'd you do?"

"I went to see Art.", said Jinn staring at the tv, although he was not watching it.

"….", Kai nodded, not saying anything, figuring that was where Jinn had gone.

"I punched him in the face.", Jinn suddenly said, and Kai's eyes widened.

"You…you what?", Kai said, his voice at a higher pitch than normal.

Jinn looked at Kai, his expression still quite blank, oddly unreadable and honestly that made Kai uncomfortable, Jinn had absolutely no remorse about what he had just said. "Take a drive with me?" said Jinn as he quickly took his eyes off of Kai, seeming as though he was almost uncomfortable for a minute.

"Uh, sure. Just let me get my sneakers.", said Kai getting up off the couch and going into the bedroom. Kai quickly redid his messy bun, threw on his sneakers and went back out to the living room, where Jinn was still blankly staring off into space. "I'm ready." Said Kai and the two of them made their way out of the apartment, onto the elevator and out of the building. Jinn pressed the button on his key to unlock his car and the two got in. Starting the ignition, the two put on their seatbelts and Jinn pulled off.

Kai had been riding in the car with Jinn for a while now, Jinn was focused on the road, somewhere lost in his head and Kai was for some reason nervous to say anything. Honestly, where the hell were, they going?

About another good ten minutes had passed and Kai was becoming restless until he noticed they were in a familiar neighborhood. Kai looked at Jinn, his handsome face still blankly staring at the road, "Are you taking me home?" asked Kai awkwardly.

Jinn let out a tiny breath that sounded like he was keeping in a laugh, only his face showed no sign of giving in to it. "No." he responded, and Kai furrowed his brows.

"Then where are we going Jinn?" asked Kai, his patience had gone out of the window, he didn't care much for surprises.

"You'll see.", he responded, saying nothing more and Kai rolled his eyes, guess he was going to have to wait this out.

After riding fifteen minutes more, Jinn pulled up beside the bar that use to be Kai's favorite, the place he and Jinn had actually met.

Kai looked around with wide eyes, quite confused, "You want to drink? I thought you didn't want me to drink.", said Kai, raising an eyebrow at Jinn.

Taking a deep breath, Jinn exhaled deeply, pointing to the door of the bar. Kai eyed Jinn and where he was pointing back and forth, "What about it? I've been here many times.", said Kai still confused.

"That is where we first met." Said Jinn lowering his arm.

"Huh?", said Kai.

"I was standing outside of the bar twirling my keys, debating if I wanted to go in or not, it had been quite the shitty week at work. I almost left until I saw you walking up to the door, you were dressed in work clothes as well and you had let your hair down, looking real cute although you were frowning. Distracted, I watched you walk all the way up to the door and like an idiot, my keys flew off my finger landing in front of you. Although you seemed to be in a bad mood, you stopped, picking up my keys and when you stood up you handed them to me, also giving me the biggest, prettiest smile I had ever seen. I took the keys from you, but I was too dumbfounded to say thank you."

"Have a good night.", you spoke, nodding to me and walked into the bar. After you went in, I finally decided to go in. I had no idea if you were married or single, or if you even liked men, but I wanted to get to know you. Although I hadn't the courage to talk to you that evening, I kept coming back in the hopes that I'd run into you again. I brought you here because I wanted you to see where I had truly found the light in my world again. That is why I love you, you are my little sun."

"….." Kai's eyes began to water as he listened to Jinn pour his heart out. Jinn's face had finally changed from that blank expression and those piercing blue eyes were full of passion and tears that had yet to fall. Did Jinn really mean that Kai was the sun in his world?

Tears began to stream down Kai's face as his heart was racing a marathon in his chest, why was he suddenly feeling this way?

"…I…I love you too!" Kai suddenly blurted out, he had said I love you again, only this time he meant it.