1 You Began To Feel Like Home

He had that ambiguos expression on his face. I didn't know what he was thinking, whether he wanted me to stay or wanted me to leave. The silence was so loud that I could hear my own heart beat. The ocean was so still as if was a painting with two forlorn soulless beings staring at each other with nothing but ambivalent emotions flowing through their veins. I glanced at his hand and realized he wasn't wearing the ring I gave him as we stood by the seashore. "What are you thinking?" I asked breaking the ominous silence knowing I wouldn't believe a word he would say. "Let's get something to eat? Shall we?" he replied while blatantly ignoring the question I asked earlier. We started walking towards the sea-side food stall.

I was walking behind him wondering what it would have been like if we didn't meet each other on that red light signal on that signature bridge. I wonder if that red light traffic signal on that road was a warning to us. Would we have been happier? Would we have lived better lives? I guess yes because if we hadn't met each other that day we wouldn't have found ourselves wrapped in this neverending saga of maloncholy. I walked a bit faster to catch up to his pace so that I could walk beside him for the one last time if it is. Our eyes met but we still didn't utter a word. Our mind and heart was completely devoid of emotion. The void within me that was once filled with love and a sense of exuberence seemed to be empty again.

"I'll be leaving day after tomorrow for Japan. I have already taken all my luggage from our.... sorry your room." he said. "I see, okay. Do let me know if you need something else." I replied. We bought 2 hot-dogs at the food stall, 1 for each of us and headed straight back to our apartment in our seperate cars. That was the first time we went into seperate cars ever since we started dating. I guess that was where our seperate lives began. I wonder what went wrong. Was I not enough? Was I too overwhelming for him to deal with? Was it because the society didn't accept two guys falling in love with each other? All these thoughts ran across my vivid mind as I looked out of the window.

*Fast Forward to the day of departure*

"You took your passport and other necessary things right?" I asked. "Yes. I've taken everything." he replied. I stared at his baby-face for about a minute.

"Will you not atleast tell me the reason you're leaving me?" I asked hoping for an answer that would comfort me a bit.

Everyone and everything froze for a second as if it was our world and others were just living in it. But it was wrong of me to call it our world then. Isn't it? We weren't together anymore.

"You began to feel like home that I was too afraid to be a part of." he replied and boarded his flight to Japan.