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What is magic?

Fuck if I know, the book I thought would tell me -the same one I had been cursing the Duffer for barely skimming in the past- 'Magical Theory' written by the Waffler himself, Albert Waffling -an incredibly apt name by the way- gives absolutely nothing but meaningless statements that only try to sound deep.

'It is a metaphysical element that connects us and flows through us, the soul of the world made manifest.'

That's the force, he's describing the force from fucking Star Wars. If I didn't know this man was in a coma already, I would've tracked him down just so I could tell him to eat a bag of dicks.

Past this great pearl of wisdom, the man barely touches on the nature of magic and instead spends an incessantly long time covering the peculiarities of magic and how it interacts with the world in the form of spells. Which... okay, outside of his clinical aversion to brevity, some of that shit was good, solid info that's probably a good thing to have. But it gets me no closer to my answer, and certainly no closer to the real question I want to ask:

What makes a wizard powerful? In other words, what makes a Dumbledore or a Voldemort and how do I become that?

It wasn't age, the Duffer knew a countless number of magic users older than both of them. Was it knowledge? Well no, otherwise Ravenclaws would be a far larger factor than the nerds they were.

Hot nerds, but still nerds.

Is it intrinsic? Some kind of genetic lottery? Both Voldemort and Dumbledore were half bloods that were considerably more powerful than their recent lineage would suggest, so probably not? Genetics... well I knew enough to know that I knew next to nothing about the subject, so hey, grain of salt.

Other than that... some kind of magical reserve? I can't remember anything like that from the movies or my Duffer memories and if there was a reserve, there'd be some kind of exhaustion when you deplete it, and it feels like that would have been mentioned at least once.

There are moments in the movies where people are struggling to cast, but it normally seems like physical or mental exhaustion getting the better of the caster.

I'll add it to the list as a maybe and see if there are ways to train your reserve.

What else, what else? Maybe... maybe it's a purely mental thing? I can remember a handful of times where I'd wound up with a headache from casting, mainly back in my first year. It wasn't exactly pleasant, and I'd avoided it ever since.

Did it fit with the world? The houses that produced the most powerful magic users -to my knowledge- were the houses of the brave and the ambitious, both traits that distinctly suggest a certain stubbornness, a strong will. I am pretty bullheaded, so that'd be nice if true.

But if it's just will then does that really explain everything? Examples come to mind like Molly Weasley duelling Bellatrix Lestrange in a fit of pique sure, Harry's patronus at the end of third year maybe, but what about every other time a magic user gets angry? Head space and willpower can be hard concepts to convey, but I don't think the movies tried to show that.

I'll keep it as a strong possibility and definitely something to look into, at the very least a lot of spells seem to require mental elements like strong emotions or very accurate visualisation. Mental discipline seems to be the way to go there, which is just yet another reason to look into occlumency, or potentially even other kinds of mind magic.

Gods above it'd be nice if this shit was a little more transparent.

Anything else- magical rituals maybe? I'd look into it, but if a little knowledge and the ability to spend money was all it took to shit out another Dumbledore then at the very least Draco Malfoy wouldn't be as pathetic as he is.

Then again, Voldemort was definitely doing some ritualistic shit if the graveyard was anything to go by. Would Dumbledore though? He was a bit zesty in his youth.

Maybe, but that's too many fucking maybes... maybe it's all of them in some convoluted way, or maybe I'm completely off the mark.

I tossed Waffling's signature text aside as I rolled myself back from my desk, exhaling fitfully as I leaned back into my chair.

I'd be going to Hogwarts today, maybe I could find some more conclusive texts on the nature of magic and the wizard's ability to use it. Waffling's wafflings might not have much more than a basic explanation for why spells do what they do bereft of all sense of brevity, but surely other works would have a better idea. At least something that isn't the metaphorical equivalent of throwing your hands up and just explaining the effects.

Surely... right?

Fuck the wizarding world with the broad end of a spoon.

Dicks.

…Okay, I might still be a bit annoyed about Waffling. A better, more productive line of thought would be asking the obvious question, am I ready for Hogwarts?

Considering my prep? Mostly yes, with the uncertain parts coming from my lack of ability to cast magic; my understanding of theory is night and day to what it was before, which is either impressive or a testament to how much of a layabout the Duffer was... probably the latter.

But that's still important; it's a good thing to improve irrespective of your starting line.

Outside of theory it's a rather wrigglier can of worms I'm afraid. Even accounting for not being able to cast, wand motions in books -while animated rather beautifully- are trapped in a two dimensional space, while I'm trying to learn three dimensional movements. In short, I can't be certain I'm doing it right. There is a spell that's compatible with all standard spellbooks that projects the animation like a hologram, but I can't cast that because I'm in muggle jail.

Which is mildly infuriating.

Mental components I can't test out, hell even potion brewing I can't really do anything with given I need my ingredients for the school year. So it's mostly just been reading text books and trying some of the visualisation exercises I found in an obscure muggleborn prep book. That stuff has been going surprisingly well, especially the parts that veer into meditation. Which is strange because in my past life I could barely sit still half the time.

Perhaps magic helps somehow?

As for the exercise I promised myself I'd do -as embarrassing as it is to admit even in the sanctity of my own mind- I got a little carried away in my first week and strained my core. Took a couple weeks of no core exercises to fix that particular problem. Which... while a waste of time, also taught me some important lessons about the need to warm up and down, and the necessity of proper form. So I'll call the experience a net positive.

And that's about it really, I can't really try anything else until I get to Hogwarts and start fucking around with magic. Which, I genuinely cannot wait to start trying out the shit I found in that force magic spell book; I didn't know that I needed to know forty seven different ways to make something explode, but now I know, so now I need to know.

Even outside of the whole 'there's a race war coming and you're on the arse end so you better train your ass off' thing, like if that just didn't exist, I'd still put the time into this thing if for no other reason than explosions are cool and I'll soon be able to make them with my mind. 

If there is one thing that these rather frustrating four weeks have taught me, it's that I really, really want to learn magic. To the point that I was kinda looking down on my past self and his little pacing crisis four weeks back; because honestly? Dude was kind of a being a little bitch.

A scared little cry baby bitch boy.

Not me though, I have a dream, a dream that involves screaming death eaters and copious amounts of explosions.

It was as I was daydreaming that the intercom buzzed; one of the many practical solutions my mother has found to spare her from the inconveniences of parenting. It was her equivalent of screaming up the stairs, and given the time it probably meant that I was off to Hogwarts.

-

Walking through a wall was indeed weird I decided, as I stopped to check myself for... missing limbs? I don't really know, but I felt the need to make sure everything was all there.

Limbs and digits accounted for, I slung my briefcase-sized trunk over my shoulder and made my way through the milling horde of students. The goodbyes were in full swing and sickening in their sweetness, with proud parents and reluctant younger siblings seeing off their Hogwarts brats; it made me almost happy to have such a professional relationship with the Duffer's mother.

Halfway to the big red engine that could I spotted something that instantly brought a smirk to my face.

"Ernie!" I shouted, delighted as his expression twisted from embarrassed to something approaching dread.

His eyes met mine and I could see the exact moment that his pride sank like a stone, trapped as it was in the arms of a large kilted man.

"One of your friends son?" The man boomed in a surprisingly thin Scottish drawl.

"His roommate actually, Thomas Brooks, it's a pleasure to meet you Lord Macmillan." I offered with a slight bow; Ernie might just be my ticket to a place where I could practice during the holidays, so it was best to make with the formalities.

The man just laughed, waving me off. "None of that lord shite, not from one of Ernest's little friends."

"Tom." Ernie nodded, still blushing in embarrassment. "How's the banshee doing?"

"Honestly? Wouldn't know; we barely spoke on the ride over." I saw Ernie's eyes widen a little at that, probably coming to all kinds of conclusions.

"Banshee? Your mother got a set of pipes on her lad?" The kilted man asked in good humour.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"She almost brought Diagon to a standstill just calling for Tom the other day." Ernie cut in, eager to share the embarrassment that was parents around, coddled as he was to his dad's side. Which for him -given the height difference- entailed a rather large amount of hairy, heavily muscled leg.

The man just laughed. "Well, I'll let you lads get on your way, good to meet you Tom; take care of my boy won't you?"

"Dad!"

"I didn't become a Puff without loyalty sir." I stated, meeting the man's eyes to feign sincerity.

"Good, good!" The man boisterously expressed his approval of the sentiment. "Ernest! You should invite Tom over at some point, your mother wants to meet some of your friends."

Ernie's expression flickered through a few phases of embarrassment as I struggled to keep my smile from becoming something ravenous.

"I would have done that anyway dad!" Ernie whined.

"I'm glad to hear it son." The man smiled proudly, ruffling Ernie's hair. "Go on then, and remember what I told you."

That seemed to break Ernie out of his embarrassed shell and he looked up at his dad with a complicated expression. "I remember dad, I'll do you and mum proud, you'll see."

The man beamed as Ernie blushed again. "Go on." He patted his son on the back with enough force to send him stumbling, and then winked at me.

I smiled back, nodding a farewell as I joined a surprisingly sombre Ernie in walking silently to the train.

"Your dad seems chill." Ernie nearly jumped out of his skin, jerking to face me.

"T-Tom!"

"...You forgot I existed for a second there, didn't you?" I accused with a smirk.

"I... no- well..." Ernie stuttered, "Sorry Tom, it's just- alot."

"Big family responsibilities huh?" I asked, not really expecting an answer.

"Some of it yeah..." He trailed off, glancing at me and seeming to consider something. "Tom, you... you're popular with girls right?"

I blinked at the sudden turnabout, wondering where the hell that came from.

"You want dating advice or something?" I asked with more than a little snark as I took one of Ernie's trunks from him and climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express.

The moment probably should've felt grander for my first time, but the boy had genuinely managed to throw me off my groove with that question. A state that wasn't helped by the memories supplied by my Duffer side of his romantic entanglements; he wasn't that popular, but he did get around to a few girls in his two years at Hogwarts (in so far as hand holding and some chaste kissing is considered 'getting around').

"Uh, maybe...?" Ernie huffed, following in behind me. "Let's find a compartment first."

I nodded, sparing little more than glances into the filled compartments as we walked further back into the train. Eventually we found an empty room a short while from the back and settled in.

"Is that expanded?" Ernie asked, his eyes settled on the briefcase I'd tossed in the overhead.

"Yeah, why?" I asked, before suddenly it clicked; Ernie -the heir of a noble family- had normal luggage and hell, even Draco had normal trunks in the movies. There was probably a good reason that I was missing.

Well shit.

"Oh I dunno, Dad always insisted on normal luggage and the other kids always had it as well. I just figured it was a rule." Worrying, but potentially just a cultural thing.

"I'll look into it later then, cheers for the heads up." Putting the worrying conversation out of my mind, I turned to face the door; I couldn't afford any distractions for this.

Drawing my wand from a holster I picked up during one of my return visits to Diagon, I drew a squared off question mark without the dot in the air and clearly enuciated, "Colloportus." The door locked with an odd squelching sound and I basked in the glory of my first piece of magic.

Ernie laughed. "It's not that serious mate, I just..." He trailed off, looking out the window. "You ever thought about marriage?"

"Can't say I have." I responded, though my mind was still on my nicely locked door; good thing I could just fall back on my Duffer instincts. "Kinda too young to be interested in finding someone to spend the rest of my life with." That, plus I was more interested in magic than girls right now.

Ernie nodded sombrely, still looking out the window, his mind a million miles away.

"You in a marriage contract or something?" I asked absently, not expecting him to whip around to face me.

"Wha- no! We don't do that anymore, that's barbaric!" Whoops, looks like I stumbled onto a cultural issue.

"Ah sorry, I'd just heard a few things and..." I trailed off feigning an apologetic tone. "Made some assumptions, my bad."

He studied my face for a long moment before sighing. "You're good man, you probably heard something about one of the more traditional families. It -well... it happens more than we'd like to be honest."

"I get it." I didn't, but I still gave my friend a smile. "So were you asked to start looking or something?"

Ernie nodded, settling down. "Yeah... Dad said he met Mum in-" He blushed, cutting himself off. "No real expectations or anything, Dad's... well he wouldn't do that- I just..."

"Wanna live up to what he sees in you?" Ernie looked up, blinking as if seeing me for the first time.

"I... yeah, yeah I do." He finished looking somewhat uncertain.

"You're fine." I reassured him with a smile. "I dunno much about what parental affection looks like, cause... well, long story. But your dad? He was proud of you as you are right now, no doubt." Oh yeah, this is the stuff friendships are made of; my summer practicing grounds are mine already.

"Mate..." Ernie looked genuinely choked up. "I... thanks, I-ah, I really needed to hear that."

"We're friends man, anytime." I smiled and he nodded, there was still a doubt in his expression, but he genuinely did seem better... so I decided to be a bit mean. "Still need that dating advice? I could try and set you up with Susan if you like."

Ernie for his part blushed a bright red. "Uh..." Damn Susan, respect, it takes work to make entire friend groups crush on you to this level.

"Oh? Does my little roommate have a crush?" I smiled like the cat that caught the canary, leaning in as Ernie looked up in alarm.

Unfortunately he was spared from having to answer as the door rattled and then boomed as someone slammed into it on the other side. Looking out I found Justin rubbing his head and staring angrily inside.

Whoops.

This time I leaned on my Duffer instincts, quickly drawing a backwards 's' in the air and softly incanting, "Alohamora."

The door opened to a very unimpressed Justin. "Mate, that wasn't funny." He growled, clearly thinking it was a prank.

"Sorry man, we were having a private conversation, very important stuff." I chortled as Ernie choked on his own spit.

He looked from me to Ernie and then gave up. "Just help me with this will you? Mum made me pack extra books." He grumbled.

I, the great friend that I was, helped out the poor guy and -balancing the somewhat absurdly heavy case between us- we somehow got it up there.

Collapsing back in our seats with a sigh of relief, I got the conversation going again. "So, you boys looking forward to the Dementors?"

Two heads snapped around to face me, Ernie staring at me like I had grown a second head. "Dementors?" He asked incredulously, as Justin looked just a touch confused.

"Wait, what are Dementors?" Justin cut in.

"Soul sucking abominations." Ernie quickly answered with a barely a glance at Justin. "Why on earth would they be anywhere but Azkaban, let alone near us?"

"Sirius Black." I answered simply.

"Just because he escaped doesn't mean..." Ernie trailed off, a proverbial lightbulb moment playing out on his broad features. "You think he's coming for Harry, and they'll..."

"I got sources mate, and they say they're already at the castle." I tapped the side of my nose knowingly, as my roommate paled.

"Bullshit." He objected, right as the door opened.

"What's bullshit?" Susan asked curiously, Hannah standing just behind her looking equally curious. I nodded a greeting to the pair.

"Tom thinks the Dementors are coming to Hogwarts to hunt down Black." Ernie said dismissively, clearly expecting Susan to agree with him.

"He's right." Susan bluntly stated, making her way to the carriage and putting a clearly lightened trunk on the rack. "My aunt said Fudge pushed for it heavily. It's a real mess." She sighed before shooting me a suspicious look as she sat down next to Justin. "Still, how do you know about all that? I only heard yesterday; it's so short notice that Hogwarts hasn't even had a chance to warn the students."

"I have my ways." I smirked, pretending to polish my nails on my robes.

"Oh come off it." Justin, a muggleborn like me, scoffed. "What ways?"

"Mate, you didn't even know what Dementors were a second ago, whatever ways I may or may not have, they're clearly beyond you my young grasshopper." I said faux snootily.

Seeing Susan confusedly mouthing 'grasshopper', "Muggle joke." I clarified.

"So they're really at Hogwarts?" Ernie asked, looking at Susan.

She shot me another suspicious look, before turning to the stout boy. "Yeah, auntie was furious but apparently Fudge had to be seen 'doing something'. I was told they'll be kept away from the students though." Ernie nodded at that, relaxing a little.

Well, constant vigilance and all that.

"Five galleons on them boarding the train." I cut in with a devious smirk. Four heads snapped up to look at me; Susan looked appalled, Ernie afraid, Justin confused and Hannah looked rather scared from where she settled in next to me.

"You really think so...?" She muttered, casting an uncertain look at Susan.

"Absolutely-"

"-Not. They won't come near us." Susan insisted forcefully, shooting me a glare. "I promise Hannah." Hannah nodded, but looked a touch uncertain.

"You wanna bet?" I asked Susan with a smirk, she just rolled her eyes at me.

"Smooth 'ways' mate." Justin shot at me smugly, I just grinned, after all the future would prove me right.

The train suddenly jerked beneath us before settling into a gentle acceleration, my smile widened at the feeling. I was on my way to Hogwarts at last.

Which of course meant it was time to bring out my wand! And I knew just the spell I wanted to practice.

Kipping up my feet and leaning back against the window, I closed my eyes, concentrating on the feeling just holding my wand instilled; relishing and just existing in the connection. I'd done this countless times over my weeks of study, just trying to feel out the nature of magic and how I can interact with it.

It doesn't really seem to do much, but it gets me in the right head space to do those visualisation exercises I learned. Maybe it's placebo, but I'm hoping to get some kind of improvement from all this, even if it's just for visualisation heavy spells like transfiguration.

"Tom?" I cracked open an eye to find my friends staring at me.

"Yeah?"

"We were talking about playing exploding snap, you wanna join mate?" Ernie asked, though even he looked a little weirded out.

"Oh, nah sorry, trying to learn a new spell." I declined with a smile.

"A spell?" Justin asked doubtfully, staring at my laid back posture.

I hummed. "Don't knock mediation till you try it, and I figure one of us has got to learn the patronus before the Dementors show up."

Justin looked speechless. "You're still on about that?" Susan glared beside him.

"Hey, you're the ones who asked." The girl huffed at my statement, turning aside.

Well then...

Closing my eyes again I drowned out the world with sound of my wand. When I first started doing this all I could hear was my own heartbeat, but slowly over the weeks something other grew louder. It was still hazy and indistinct, a sound I can't even describe with words, but definitely there.

Listening to it, relishing in its tranquil presence, I got to work.

The patronus charm was, despite the numerous warnings to the contrary, a pretty simple spell. The wand movement for the charm was a plain circle, its incantation was straight forward and could be spoken in any number of ways, and it didn't require anything else other than an absolute focus on a positive memory or thought.

In the movies I can't remember anyone doing the wand movement, I only found out about it when I managed to track down a book on the subject called 'Ethereal Wandwork, the Grander Side of Magic'. The book was mostly waffle and grandiose posturing, but it did at least have a decent enough guide for the spell. And well, the movie did have Harry learning the first stage of the spell in the span of like three minutes, so it's maybe not the best reference.

From what I could tell the hard parts are the focus required, the strength of the positivity needed and the ability to hold on to both in the face of a Dementor.

When I was practising the charm at home -without doing the magic bit of course- the thing I struggled with the most was finding that positivity. I haven't exactly led the nicest of lives and I'm a pretty stoic bloke when I'm not feigning Puffness, so finding something... worthy of a patronus was kind of a stretch.

Which is why I ended up turning to an old friend; self confidence is something that has come naturally to me for as long as I can remember, a shield that turned aside any number of insults thrown at me. It's something you're forced to learn when the world loses interest in propping you up, when there's no one left to take pride in you, you end up just having to do it yourself.

Pride itself is a complicated feeling and one that isn't always positive, but for me... I take pride in myself, in my acerbic humour, my intelligence, my dashing good looks (irrespective of what body I'm in) and most importantly; my resolve to keep going.

I am proud of who I am.

And that's enough -it always has been- and I believe it'll be enough here to.

Taking a breath to steady myself, I pointed my wand to ceiling and twirled it clockwise in a circle. "Expecto patronum." I breathed quietly.

I didn't bother opening my eyes, I could feel it, the spell slipping away through my fingers. But that's alright, there was an entire train ride to improve.

Settling in, I drew out that tight circle again, holding on to that sheer, raw belief in myself, convincing myself that this time, this time I'd do it.

The whispered words failed me again. So I tried again, and again, and then a dozen more times.

In that state the train ride passed me by quickly with the others mainly focused on playing wizarding games and occasionally checking their summer homework against one another's, at least in the times when I wasn't completely zoned out.

The only real standouts were a couple other friends coming and going and Susan occasionally catching Hannah looking worried and then immediately turning to glare at me.

She was a protective one alright.

I worked at the charm for so long that I'd occasionally have to take breaks when that familiar pounding headache from my first year would return; leaving me just laying back and resting with my eyes closed, listening in on the group for comfort and entertainment.

An hour in I made my first breakthrough; the glowing, silvery mist opening my eyes for the first time and drawing the gazes of the others.

It was patchy and barely there, I honestly doubted it would hold off much, but then again I also doubted that we'd get the full Harry Potter experience. The entire school was on the train in the movies but Malfoy made it pretty clear that no one but Harry ended up passing out.

So chances are we were safe, but -like with my mother- non astronomical odds should be prepared for. I'd be ready, no matter how many times I had to whisper this spell beneath my breath.

...Part of me also just wanted to do this to say that I could; to prove to myself that I could, that I could be the wizard I was imagining in those fanciful plans of mine. I want to be that guy.

Just the thought filled me with pride.

Past that first breakthrough progress became a strange mix of steady and inconsistent; I'd sometimes just lose volume or brightness without the foggiest as to why, before it'd recover and then some a handful of casts later. Overall my little mist that could grew brighter and denser the closer we got to Hogwarts.

I heard some grumbled complaints from my friends from time to time, but I was mostly just off in my own world, lost in the song of my wand.

They were being a tad ungrateful me thinks; this beauty is going to save our asses in a bit, or at least ward off that whole 'aura of despair and misery' thing the dementors have going on.

Either way I kept casting and the train kept on chugging.

"Tom c'mon man, cut it out, that thing's blinding!" Justin's grumbling was what finally brought me out of groove after... well, I honestly have no idea how long actually. My back was sore though, and my arm was a bit shaky.

"It feels... weird." Ernie agreed somewhat. "It's cool though; every thing I've heard about that charm says that you really, really shouldn't be able to do it yet."

Susan nodded reluctantly, still giving me the side eye.

"Yeah well, I'm just awesome like that." I exclaimed, to the groans of others.

"I don't see what's so amazing about all the glowy stuff, but that meditation thing was something else; I don't think I've ever seen anyone dialled in like that." Justin admitted, his brow furrowed. "We could barely get a reaction out of you."

"Yeah it's pretty useful; was trying to figure out how to improve after my ah... grades last year." I feigned a wince that had Justin nodding along, Ernie just looked smug. "Can't practice in a muggle area, so I spent the time on theory, reading books and some visualisation and concentration exercises I found. They seem to agree with me."

"Think you can teach me later then?" Justin somehow managed to make asking for help seem pompous but I knew my friend, he was just like that.

"Sure man." I agreed, drawing a thankful smile from the Eton boy.

"It's a shame you wasted all that time though." Susan cut in awkwardly, still clearly annoyed with me.

"Wasted?"

She nodded out the window triumphantly. "We're almost there and no dementors."

"Oooh Susan's jinxed us boys." I said in delight, a wide teasing smile on my face. "We've got minutes at most."

"We've got minutes until we get to Hogsmeade!" She snapped back, but my eyes were on the window, specifically corner where a spiderweb of frost was creeping up the outside.

The smile on my face slowly fell into neutrality.

My friends noticed the shift in my mood and followed my gaze to the window.

"That's..." Susan trailed off, staring at the ice in growing horror.

"You really did jinx us" I wanted to laugh, but the feeling just wasn't there.

Justin decided to weigh in. "Is a little ice really-" The train suddenly began to slow, the lights flickering as a sudden chill set in the air.

"Yes." I answered simply, flicking my wand to the door and murmuring. "Colloportus."

The door sealed with that same funny squelch sound, but I couldn't bring myself to even smile.

"So this is what it feels like." I stated grimly as the train finally jerked to a stop, distant bangs ringing out as luggage fell and carriages jostled against each other.

"This isn't..." Susan shook her head frantically. "This isn't right." Then the lights cut out and we were plunged into darkness with only the heavy rain for company.

Metallic scraping echoed from close by; they'd already boarded the train.

"We've got to call someone, do somethi..." Ernie trailed off, holding even his breath as a shadow that stretched up to the ceiling floated eerily passed our door.

My wand stayed steady trained on the door, my throat dry and my palms clammy. The dementor seemed to devour everything that was good about the world with its mere presence; just being this close to one had my ears ringing and my blood running cold.

Then it stopped, and the ringing became so much worse.

I wanted to curse in so many languages, but I also couldn't bring myself to even care.

Drawing a breath of frigid air I went through the motions I'd gone through countless times over the past hour, but drawing on my pride was so much harder now then it was before.

I gritted my teeth, watching as the dementor tore through my locking charm like it wasn't even there, throwing the door open.

I stood my ground, but it was here for me anyway, I could see that now. Looking at it again I saw that place, and it saw me.

Out the corner of my eyes I could see my friends pressing themselves as far away as they could from the creature, their faces deathly pale.

My ears were ringing and someone was roaring, demanding of me to do what I was going to do anyway.

Pride sang in veins alongside a foreign need to protect my friends.

"Expecto Patronum." I intoned forcefully, but in my mind I could hear the Duffer roaring it like he was Harry fucking Potter.

I saw white as the magic formed within me, ballooning through my wand and painting the world with my pride and desire to protect.

I could barely hear it past the roaring in my ears but the creature's shriek as it jerked back filled me with pride. In my blurry vision, it was death running from me and the sight could not have been sweeter.

The abomination fled, flying off down the hall, letting me collapse into my seat feeling... I don't even-

"M-Mate... you okay?" I couldn't really make out who was talking over the ringing in my ears, but I gave them a shaky thumbs up. I definitely wasn't okay.

Faintly I could hear someone call me 'incredible' which was admittedly nice to hear.

Still, I couldn't resist ruining the moment.

"Susan... you owe me a fiver." I weakly laughed. It felt good to laugh again.

"You prat." Someone -I'm guessing Susan- shot back half heartedly.

It took a while, but the ringing in my ears finally started to die down, and -feeling better- I sat up, opening my eyes to find my friends looking at me in concern.

"What did I do to piss off that Dementor?" I moaned theatrically, chuckling as their startled laughs rang out through the compartment. "Anyone got any chocolate?"

Belatedly I could hear Ernie explaining the magic of chocolate to Justin as Susan passed me half a chocolate frog with a complicated expression, thankfully the frog was unanimated.

Chewing slowly on the blessed creation, I nearly moaned as the headache started to fade and some warmth came back to my extremities.

"Better question, how do we get the ministry to stop trying to murder students?" I sighed in relief as the last of the chocolate went down and I could finally sit up fully without my head swimming.

"They're not trying to kill us..." Really Susan? "It- this... it's an accident. I'll... I'll floo my Aunt when we get back, let her know what happened; she'll stop this." She tried to use the same authoritative tone I'd heard from her whenever she was trying to make a point, but she was still shaken and her tone reflected that.

"That... sounds good Susan." Ernie tried to support her, before he turned to me. "Tom, are you sure you're feeling alright mate?"

"Not great, but getting better." The ice had receded from my veins, but I still felt off; almost disconnected from my feelings somehow. I'd need to think this whole thing over later, when I can actually think straight without my head pounding in protest.

The lights came back on as the train jolted to life and began to pull away, but even it felt shaky, almost jerking in its motion.

I stood up slowly. "Tom?" Someone called in concern, I just shook my head.

"Train's almost there; everyone else is going to take their time recovering. Let's slip out first." I leaned against the wall, trying to get the room to stop wiggling.

"You're still recovering Tom... we all are." Hannah -I think- responded hesitantly.

"I'll be better off this damn train." I spoke, a bit too truthfully. Just looking at the carriage door was enough to remind me of-

Things I do not think about. 

By the time the train stopped I was feeling a lot better, and I stepped off the train with a surprisingly clear head. Outside of me and my friends, most of those who disembarked were upper years, with many casting concerned looks at the train as they came to same conclusions.

I found a nice sheltered bench to sit down and get out of the rain for a minute; just watching as some of the younger students began trickling out of the train, faces pale and clammy.

"Is that McGonagall?" Ernie muttered. I turned with a frown to find her striding out of the station with Madam Pomfrey; my memory of the films wasn't fantastic, but I was pretty sure she didn't do this in them.

I can remember thinking how strange it was that no one seemed to care that school children had been attacked by soul eaters of all things, especially after the chamber of secrets and the way teachers would just materialise anytime anything would happen. To see her here now was... welcome.

"She must've got word of the attack." Susan had a mirroring frown on her lips, as we watched the pair of them shepherd the worse looking students off to the side.

"Should we..." Justin trailed off, clearly wanting to do something, but not certain how or if he could help.

"STUDENTS!" McGonagall's thick Scottish accent boomed through the air as I was about to respond. "Those of you who feel up to the journey, please make your way to the carriages! Those who feel unwell may rest in the station with Madam Pomfrey; first years to me please!"

"They're not taking the boats?" I muttered.

"It is chucking it down." Ernie commented, before patting me on the shoulder. "Feel up for the journey mate?"

My mind flashed with all the connotations the word 'journey' had in this world; I think I'll sidestep that particular flag thank you very much.

"To Hogwarts? Always."