Waking up

'I want to die.'

That was all I wanted.

So why the fuck am I here?

Not long ago, I committed suicide. Having been fed up with life and the people that surrounded me, I decided that the unknown embrace of death was better than the life I had come to expect for myself.

However, for whatever reason, I was alive and well. I was sure I died, the way I went out did not leave any possibility of revival that I knew of. I didn't want to suffer.

The only thing I saw after I died was a floating sentence.

'Destiny is on your side.'

What confused me even more was where I was. Had I woken up in a hospital, I might have come to accept it, my still being alive, but I wasn't. I was currently lying in a bed, inside a somewhat luxurious room, being snuggled by a women even older than my past self. This is where I had found myself after seeing that sentence.

Yes, that's right. Past self. Currently, judging by my bodily structure, I was about 2. I had no memory of the life of whatever being's body I had come to occupy, the only thing I had were the child's instincts. The same instincts that were telling me that the women holding me was my mother.

"Rain, what's wrong?"

A melodious voice called out from above my shoulder. A voice I could only assume was from the woman that was my mother. Rather than answer, I chose to pretend to be asleep and closed my eyes before she could see them open. I was still trying to adjust to the idea that I was being forced to live again.

"Ah jeez," the woman sighed softly, her voice both a bit tired and a bit affectionate, "Guess I can't blame you for being tired."

She put me down in a small bed, in another part of the room, one that wasn't quite a crib due to my age, but also not an adult bed like the one we were originally sitting on.

My mother got up... yes, I had already accepted her as my mother, to be honest it made no difference in my perspective or caring towards such a person, but I was completely ready to accept my new life until I found out if it was worth living. In my old life, I had loving parents, but they had trouble understanding personalities that weren't similar to their own and I'm a bit strange. As such, I spent my whole life pretending to love my family when, in reality, it only extended as far as respect for raising me.

I didn't care for emotions such as love or hate, not in my past life nor was I gonna start now, however, that didn't mean I didn't have my preferences towards certain people or a sense of respect. I'd say my best quality is that I'm very good at putting myself in other's shoes and respecting their opinions, but my worst is that I really can't deal with loud noises or irrationality. It makes me uncomfortable.

So, yes. I did not miss my parents or anyone I might have known, but I didn't wish them ill either. It would take time to adjust, to my new circumstances and my new body, but I would not be held back by my past.

Anyways, my mother left, I could tell as much by the sound, as my eyes were still closed. She opened the door and called out to someone before someone else stepped in.

I cracked my eyes, only to see a maid, or someone I assumed was a maid by the outfit, discussing something with my mother before the maid took a position by the outside of the door, as if guarding it, and my mother left, closing the door behind her.

'Interesting.'

I struggled to stand up. The disparity in strength and size between my instincts and my new body was quite huge, but I wasn't a toddler with no strength. It was disconcerting going from a skinny, tall 25yo to a 2yo, but I would get used to it.

I looked around the room, trying to see my options. There were two beds, one large and one small, the latter which I currently occupied. The walls were nice, it was obvious whatever family I was born into was well off, which was fortunate. There were two doors, one of which was the one that my mother left from, and the other was an unknown, but was probably to another part of whatever house I was living in, considering the door my mom left from was to the outside. I had glimpsed a courtyard as the door had opened, but I hadn't got a good look so that was all I knew. However, first things first.

"Ahhhhemm... Testing... testing."

My voice was a child's no doubt, however vocal cords were vocal cords. It was a bit awkward, but I knew how to use them and I wasn't going to act like a child in my way of speaking. From the few words that my mom had spoken to me, I realized two things. One, my name was Rain. No complaints. Two, we shared a common language. I knew what she was saying and was speaking like she did. So their would be no communication barrier at least.

Having come to these realizations, I started to wobble as I began to attempt to walk.

It was time to explore.