Xiao Su's first kill

Reminder: Xiao Tai is Xiao Su's great grandfather but she refers to him as her grandfather.

"What!" Xiao Su exclaimed in shock. He Lan had indeed told her to kill it earlier, but she never took it seriously. She'd never killed anything in her life! "You want me, to kill it?" Xiao Su asked with disbelief in her voice.

"You will kill it," He Lan said coldly, her voice a command rather than an answer. "It's not complicated, stab it with your spear," she continued impatiently.

Xiao Su's face turned pale at He Lan's authoritative voice and she looked at the grounded Boulder Badger. The Badger's eyes were swiveling around as it looked everywhere, its eyes radiated hatred and anger, but what showed even clearer was its fear and despair.

"No," Xiao Su shook her head. "Why do I have to kill it? I need an explanation" she said firmly, ignoring the pressure He Lan was exerting. Her immediate desire was to refuse entirely, the beast looked so pitiful and scared now, nothing compared to its previous fierce appearance, but her faith in He Lan made it so she couldn't dismiss this, there must be a reason for her to ask this.

He Lan frowned imperceptibly as she thought for a bit before sighing. She turned to Ye Tai and asked, "When did you first kill a monster?"

Ye Tai was surprised by the sudden turn to him, but he still answered immediately, "My first time was when I was eight," he said with a reminiscent tone. "My sister was ill, and my dad told me that she wouldn't get better if I didn't get the medicine from the monster's gall." He added, peeved at his past naivete.

"So young!" Xiao Su exclaimed while staring at him in shock.

He Lan shook her head and said, "His case is not special, I guarantee you that those in the clan did so at a similar age, your situation is the uncommon one."

Xiao Su looked at them with her mouth agape. 'To kill, to take a life at 8, and that's the norm?' she shuddered in horror as a cold sweat formed on her back.

He Lan narrowed her eyes and said, "There's a change in perspective in combat once killing becomes a viable option. Even if you won't do it, just having the experience allows one to see and exploit weaknesses they wouldn't recognize before, it gives you more sight and options. you should have realized the limitations in your thoughts in this fight, this will help alleviate those mental limitations," He Lan explained smoothly.

"You said you want to enter the top 16, and more than that you said you wanted to lead your group," He Lan said, replacing Golden Generation with group while glancing at Ye Tai. "You're way behind, so far you've only set your foot on the road, this, this is the first step to catching up," She finished while pointing at the wounded Badger. Only Ye Tai could see her other hand trembling as she pushed Xiao Su towards taking a life.

Xiao Su looked at the Badger with a struggle evident on her face. Finally, she grimaced and sighed in resignation. She'd underestimated her peers. Though different from the unending pain she dealt with, they had their own tempering, she finally understood why He Lan insisted on taking her to the forest.

Her face set in grim determination, she retrieved her spear from the Shadow. She very much wanted to command the shadow to do it, but that wouldn't be right. If she was going to do it then she felt she really had to do it.

She walked next to the lying Badger and raised her spear. The Badger could no longer move its body as it pleased, it could only look at the executioner above it in fear and hatred. A minute passed just like that.

He Lan watched as she stood there with her spear poised without saying anything, without any more goading. She sighed through her clenched teeth, this is why she tried to pressure her into doing it immediately, it becomes so much harder to do when you're fully aware of it.

Xiao Su was on the verge of having a panic attack, she was sweating, her eyes were dilated, and she was hyperventilating as fragmented thoughts ran through her head. 'Do it. It's eyes. Stab it. It's so scared. This isn't right. You must. It's already dying. You're behind. But I. You'll never catch up. Stab it. I don't want to. Do it. No, no, no, no! Stab it. Don't make me. Kill it!' "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" She screamed as she brought the spear down. It pierced through the Badger's skin with little effort and sunk in deep.

"--------------!" The Badger made an indescribable screech of pain and thrashed on the floor.

Xiao Su removed the spear and took several steps back with tears pooling in her eyes. Her hands were trembling, and she could barely hold the spear while she was gasping for air.

He Lan looked at the hand holding down the arm she didn't realize she was raising. She turned her eyes to Ye Tai and he shook his head. The meaning was clear, 'Not yet.'

Xiao Su was barely standing, fighting the urge to vomit or fall on the floor sobbing. Through her efforts to get a grip, only one sound was coming in clearly. The whining. The Badger's loud screech had simmered into a small whimpering whine that wasn't getting any weaker. It was seriously hurt but it wasn't any closer to death than before.

The whimpering kept playing in Xiao Su's ears, growing louder and louder in her head, until it became unbearable. Then, her emotions were overcome with a feeling of rage, an irrational anger that swallowed everything. Only one dominant thought was soon left in her head, she wanted that sound to stop, she wanted it out of her head! She walked forward and raised her spear again.

This time she didn't hesitate, the only thought in her head was to stop that sound. She plunged the spear deep into the Badger and it let loose another long cry. The Badger continued to cry out in pain but this wasn't what Xiao Su wanted, she wanted it to stop.

She pulled out the spear and plunged it in again, and again, and again. Tears where flowing freely from her eyes as she desperately tried to release the beast of its suffering, unsure if her anger was at it for living and prolonging this event, or at herself for not giving it a swift and proper death. She wanted to end it, but she couldn't, she didn't know how, so she could only stab it over, and over again.

He Lan grabbed Xiao Su's arm just as she was about to plunge in again and said, "Enough, it has passed," soothingly.

Xiao Su stopped trying to force it in and it was only now that she realized the sounds of anguish that had haunted her had finally stopped. She looked at the mangled corpse before her and felt the large amount of blood that had soaked her shoes, her clothes, and what seemed to her as her very essence. She took one step back, then another. She dropped her spear and then staggered shakily to the side where she began to heave violently.

He Lan knelt next to her and stayed the entire time, not minding the blood, dirt or other undesirables getting on her uniform. When Xiao Su finished emptying her stomach, she started sobbing uncontrollably. He Lan gently embraced her and comforted her.

Ye Tai watched that scene and sighed before turning to face the corpse. 'Not much to salvage from this,' he thought with a grimace. He began to slowly salvage what could be salvaged from the beast while taking great care to not look at the two girls behind him or draw any attention to himself.

When the sobs finally started to weaken, Xiao Su felt a wave of exhaustion come over her. She felt so sleepy, and the wave felt so peaceful, so welcoming and comforting, she wanted nothing more than to succumb to it. But she didn't. She willed herself to persevere and, slowly, began to regain her composure.

He Lan helped her to her feet and said, "Come on, let's get you cleaned up," before guiding her to somewhere Ye Tai couldn't see.

…

"Esteemed guest, you must understand that the forest is very big with many paths of entry, it will take us some time to find her," the attendant said nervously to a big, hulking man.

"Spare me the excuses," Xiao Zhen replied domineeringly. "If you don't find her today, you'll get half the agreed pay, every day after that will see your pay slashed."

"Understood esteemed guest, I'll be sure to pass on your words," he said with a bow. He was screaming over this injustice and cursing Xiao Zhen's name in his head, but he kept a servile look on his face the entire time.

Xiao Zhen left the establishment while envisioning different tactics to defeat Xiao Qin in the coming competition.

…

The sun was high in the sky and had slightly passed its zenith, it was past noon. Since the Boulder Badger, Xiao Su's group had killed twelve monsters, two of which were killed by Xiao Su.

Now Xiao Su's expression looked pale and haunted, the opposite if her previous excitement. The second monster she killed was a boar. It was stronger than the Badger and possessed the aggressive fire attribute. The fight was hard, but she killed it without much trouble due to accidentally stabbing it somewhere fatal in the middle of combat. The second beast was a snake and it was the hardest fight despite having the same cultivation as the Badger. Its speed surpassed hers and Ye Tai had to immobilize it for her to kill it after it tried to run. It was the first time she fought something faster than herself and it made her realize that even with Shade Step her speed wasn't anything special, the Badger and Boar were just innately slow.

Each fight would be followed with a bout of dry heaving and crying, ending in a forced cleaning and a change of clothes. She was dazed and distracted while they moved, she couldn't even pay attention to the lesson Ye Tai was trying to give her.

"There's a clearing up ahead, we'll stop there for a break and some food," He Lan said while looking at the map.

Xiao Su and Ye Tai voiced no complaints and followed her while Ye Tai continued to fruitlessly teach Xiao Su about the different plant life in the forest.

Once they reached the clearing, He Lan sat down and reached out for Xiao Su's storage ring. They'd been putting the monster bodies into the ring for the convenience.

Ye Tai watched enviously as He Lan pulled out materials to make a meal with. The best his family could afford was a bag that held a little more than it should, it didn't even reduce weight.

Ye Tai stood up and looked at them. Xiao Su looked up at the sudden movement but He Lan continued to focus on getting the meal started.

"It's about time for me to head off," Ye Tai said nonchalantly.

"You're leaving?" Xiao Su asked in surprise.

Ye Tai nodded and said, "Can't babysit you forever brat, the world is a big place and there's plenty of exciting events I have to be at," in an enigmatic tone while making a pose that, he felt, made him look cool yet mysterious.

"The monsters on this path are generally too weak, he can't make a profit off them," He Lan spoke up, shattering his mysticism.

"Cough, cough," Ye Tai coughed in embarrassment, "Yes, well, exciting adventures usually involve awe inspiring treasures, anyway I'm off!" He said quickly and ran, escaping He Lan's disdaining eyes eyes.

XIao Su just sat and stared into space while He Lan prepared the food. He Lan looked at her with a troubled gaze. There was much she wanted to say to her about her fighting methods, but in her current state it would just go in one ear and out the other.

He Lan brought out some meat from one of the monsters they killed and started cooking it over a fire with some light herbs for seasoning. Once it was finished, she shoved the meat onto two sanitized metal sticks she carried with her.

"Foods ready, eat," He Lan said while shoving a stick into Xiao Su's hands.

Xiao Su looked at the meat strangely as her face scrounged up in disgust. She was starving but it smelled.

"Eat," He Lan repeated before beginning to eat her own.

Seeing He Lan eat, Xiao Su held her breath and bit into the meat. The taste of the food hit her tongue and her facial expression immediately changed.

Cultivators don't care about stuff like flavor or what the food comes from, they just care that it's safe to eat and provides enough energy and they'll usually stop eating regularly when there realm is high enough that they no longer need to. That is the case for most cultivators, but not Xiao Su's grandfather. Xiao Tai is a well-known food lover with high standards, any restaurant that gets a positive review from him becomes the go to place on the rare moments a cultivator wants food. This enjoyment of good food and high standards had inadvertently been passed down to his granddaughter, who then inadvertently passed it to her daughter.

In other words, "Spit! Ahhhhhhhhh!" Xiao Su has zero immunity to bad food. "whatdidIjustputinmymouth, augh!" Xiao Su wailed while spitting repeatedly and rubbing her tongue with her finger to try and get the taste off.

He Lan's eyes visibly twitched as she looked down at the meal she was holding. 'It isn't that bad, right?' she thought, embarrassed. Even He Lan who took no pride in her cooking couldn't help feeling shamed by Xiao Su's reaction.

"Ah, I mean, it's not that bad." Xiao Su hurriedly corrected when she noticed He Lan's mood, unfortunately she could do nothing about the twisted expression she had on her face even with her strong body control. "It's just- a little different, but definitely not bad."

"Shut up!" He Lan roared in shame before angrily devouring her own food while secretly thinking if she should devote some time into cooking.

Xiao Su felt her stomach complain in hunger and she looked at her own food with a conflicted expression of desire and disgust. 'To eat or not to eat?' she questioned.

"That meat is from the boar you killed, you should at least eat it to make its death worth something," He Lan said testily before continuing to eat her own food.

Xiao Su expression changed, she looked at the meat with both fear and solemnity. After a moments hesitation she took another bite. The taste was absolutely revolting for Xiao Su and it only got worse the longer it stayed in her mouth. She chewed once, and the taste spread through her entire mouth making her shudder, she chewed a second time and tears began to flow from her eyes, she chewed a third time and then forcefully swallowed before she spat it out. It wasn't any easier going down her throat. She had to fight her body's desire to puke it out and feel the greasy meat flow down her gullet at a speed much slower than it was actually moving. She took a second bite, and then another, she continued eating with tears flowing the entire time.

He Lan felt massive shame watching her reaction and vowed to spend a little time improving her cooking. As He Lan was making her own resolve, Xiao Su asked, "Does it get better?" in a low voice.