Interview

Columbia University hastily did all the preparations for me and my parents to stay just near it. They gave me scholarship and provided me 1 USD per month grant.

Afterall, having me would create a very good reputation and profit for them, and help in attracting students in the future. 

We bought some stocks of New York Times, one of the biggest propaganda newspaper. If I want to counter BBC's propaganda, I will have to use New York Times.

After some days, I worked to publish some papers, like the Classical model of atom(Bohr's model) and the Quantum model of atom. Then I published photoelectric effect which won Einstein the biased noble prize.

Afterall, giving Obama the Noble Peace Prize is like telling that Osama Bin Laden is a harbinger of peace.

Anyway, I quickly became famous, and got an interview with New York Times. I denied BBC. 

"Welcome Miss Saraswati Gupta. I am Alex Jones, and I welcome you to the exclusive interview for our newspaper, the New York Times." 

"Thanks for having me today." 

"So, I would like to start with a question. Why did you deny BBC, and allowed us for the interview?" 

"Do you really need to ask? BBC is a British government propaganda channel. I believe the next door racist uncle more than BBC not manipulating the interview to suit the agenda of British government. I bought your newspaper's shares, so that I can be sure that you wouldn't try to distort facts and try to change my words."

The interviewer was flabbergasted by my response. But continued anyway. 

"We have heard that God guided you here, and gave you the knowledge that you published just some days ago?" 

"Yes. Goddess Saraswati gifted me knowledge in many fields, not the whole thing, but things that I will need on my mission. I only knew Bengali beforehand, and didn't even know how to write aside from the alphabet. But now I know Hindi and Indian English as well."

"So, um, it's not 'God', but a goddess named Saraswati?" 

"Of course. She is the goddess of knowledge. Indian and African religion actually promote science. You wouldn't really understand, because I heard that Galileo was killed because he stated the well-known and obvious fact that Earth is not flat and sun doesn't revolve around the sun, but it's other way round. Well, what should I expect from stupid and savage people who kill and loot people for their book that they made and don't allow any questioning. Even when I was coming here, in the US, a missionary kept harassing us. Uncivilised savage."

Now he was feeling uncomfortable. Hah! I wonder why they don't feel uncomfortable when mocking Hindus as cow worshippers? Honestly, they could learn some manners. Uncivilised bunch. 

"So, umm, what is the mission that the goddess has assigned you?" 

"Remove the thieves, the savages, I mean, Britishers from the soil that was blessed by gods. The cradle of our species is subjugated by thieves. They have rebranded our discoveries with theirs. They have massacred more people than their population. They are growing poison on our soil. I am given the mission to save the world, I am the Queen of India, living in exile for a while, hoping that the US government will protect me from those savages, and as the first one to gain independence from London, I am here to learn. Afterall, she can't interfere much in the lower worlds like us since it is Kaliyug. I don't have special powers like Ram and Krishn. I only have some knowledge, and some guidance. 

And I announce that if anything happens to me, it's the US government's responsibility and London's assassination. I can't die yet, not before I have completed my mission."

Bullshit Ultra Pro Max.