1 How can something so wrong, feel so right?

It was a dark night and I snuck out of my house under the guise of visiting my sister. But, I was really going to meet him. I wasn't quite sure why. Maybe I was craving some excitement in my life and had grown accustomed to married life. Or maybe I was finally refusing to listen to all sense and listen to my heart. I think it was a little of both.

I had never forgotten him, though I wish that I had. For years I had this ever-longing feeling of wanting to be with him. This feeling that we were soul mates or twin flames. This feeling that we had been connected since the beginning of time, wound by a single red thread attached to each of our ankles. Something we had no control of. It didn't matter that I was married or if he was dating. When we were teens he would tell me and others that I would be his future wife. I would laugh and say he was just spitting game. He would swear that he wasn't. Years later when I would see him again. He would tell me that marriage is just a peice of paper. I wonder what happened to make him change. Maybe I caused him pain. I'm sure I did. I wanted so bad to be with him but I was so scared.

This lifetime seemed to have other plans. Maybe our next life would be different. Another time, another place, where we would be destined to meet again. Maybe then.

It had all started at a beach 10 years ago at a bonfire on a Summer night. There were about five fire pits set ablaze with different people gathered around each one. It seemed like they were all there for the same reason, to chill, drink, and smoke. To have a good time.

I had came with my boyfriend Jess and a couple of friends. I was a little lost back then and needed an escape.

I had long brown flowing hair that reached my lower back. It was dyed with thick blond streaks. I had bangs swept to the side of my face. I always did my makeup to accentuate my brown doe eyes and soft lips that hid a stainless steel tongue ring. I wore jeans with a black spiked belt, a black laced tank top with a push up bra, and a thin black fish net sweater with hood. The only shoes I had with me were my Converse, so they had to do at the beach. It's not like I had sandals.

This was where I first met Terry. I didn't think anything of him at first. I barely remembered him. Not that night anyway. I was there to drink and chill. God knows I needed a break.

I was 16 and considered AWOL in the foster care system. I had taken the bus to my hometown and simply decided I wanted to stay out, like a normal teen. I didn't want to return to the group home in a city so far away from my friends. I wasn't allowed out and the woman watching us was only doing it for the money. She didn't really care about us.

My sisters and I had been taken from our schools one afternoon and told we could not go home. Of course I knew this might happen. It was because of me. I had opened my mouth and finally let out this long held dark secret that had been tearing at my soul for 9 years. But I had to. I had always put everyone else before me and for the first time I was selfish.

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