I quietly walked through the academy's crowded corridor. I looked around happy confident faces bursting with life and expression.
I frowned and my eyes furrowed in unsureness. I'd much rather be in an empty Hall so I can feel safe. I always feel uncomfortable in my skin so whenever I'm around others I don't feel safe.
I go to a school for gifted and talented people. I was picked as one of the best writers in this school yet I don't view myself as the best. to be honest I'm nothing compared to the other students. singing and acting prodigies. people who are born to be famous.
These students are much greater than I am. They're the ones with talent. I on the other hand have no talent. Which doesn't make sense as to why I'm going to a gifted school for my so called "talent". I don't get it. I'm not special, I'm just a writer, that's all. And since when do people read poetry or books. I feel so much smaller then everyone I can't even make eye contact with my classmates, because i feel small compared to them.
I shook my head. I'm one of the few writers in this academy, and no one ever noticed who I am or what I do which I don't mind because I'm not one for socialization. I don't even view writing as a talent, yet more as an escape, to drift away from reality other then being asleep.
But the others are like celebrities. They belive what they have is talent. I don't. I guess escaping this world makes me feels less alone in the world I currently stand in. No judging. I can block out all the loud noise. I can cry and no one can see me.
No one can look at me. My other self. I can be more than one emotion. I can sing a hymn, even though it's shakey. I can be free. Where I can lay in a field of paper flowers and not get cut to ribbons. It's a wonderful feeling yes? A mental portrait of how I feel. Yet in reality my shell is hollow, cause I'm always in my made up world.
I brandish my pen in one hand as I let the ink flow free. Dark puddles of it splashes on to the white and blue liked paper. I get it on my hands. "Great." I murmured. I stare into space. I never asked to be apart of this school in the first place. I lift my head and stare back into reality, and like that my non-existent world of happiness was gone. Poof. Goodbye.
I smiled sadly as students pass by smiling and laughing. Friends...i don't understand the reason of having them. I just don't care. I know it's probably weird for a seventeen year old girl to be this socially incapable. But I'm just an odd girl. I like being the odd one out.
The one to not fit in. It's peaceful. No one will look at me, if there no one there. Don't look at me. I closed my eyes and pursed my lips. "Class, i should get going."I grumbled. I looked away and frowned. I made my way forward room 306 and entered the brightly lit science class. I squinted and groaned.
I sound like Frankenstein monster. Of course no one notices me, and I sit down in my asinged seat. I looked around me and check if anyone was looking at me. Luckily no one was paying any attention to me. Good don't look at me, don't look at me. The feeling of heavy pressure lifted off my chest.
i let out an exasperated sigh. The less attention the better. I quietly waited for the teacher to settle down the rowdy class. "Okay okay class." She smiled. "Today we're gonna be paring up in groups of two."she explained. I shuddered. Oh no, partners? I nervously squirmed in my seat.
I looked around me and frowned. I have to talk to someone? suddenly someone's gaze fell on me. are they looking at me? no don't look at me...
I jolted out of my seat and the class stared at me. No..stop. don't look. "Don't look at me..." I breathed. I felt like the sweat from my fore head was slowly drowning me in an ocean of fear. Don't look at me.
Close your eyes. Don't look. "Hey are you okay?" A guy walked up to me and touched my shoulder. Oh no. I covered my mouth and before I knew it I was throwing up my guts. And tears poured down my cheeks.
I'm drowning in vomit and sweat and tears. I felt a cold sweat and slumped to the floor."Oh my god, call an ambulance!"someone shouted. My vision blurred. Don't look at me. Stop it please. Everyone circled around me. Scared I closed my eyes.
No. It feels like their worried looks and gazes are dagger piercing me down. Stop. Don't look. "Don't look."I gasped. And I passed out.