The First Letter

May 1, 1974

To the girl in the beach,

Hi. You probably don't remember or even know me. Well, for starters, my name is Christian Joseph Fajardo. You can call me Chris, because that's what they call me, most of the time. I think we were of the same age, sixteen. Or maybe you were two to three years younger than me. I really don't know actually but it's okay. I'm studying in the city but every Summer I stay here in Isla Minerva with my family.

And today, I actually have a confession to make. It's so awkward to say it in a letter, but I will do it anyway. I cannot say it to your face actually. So here it goes. I LIKE YOU. I like you a lot. Please don't freak out. Hear me out at least.

If you would ask me how did I end up liking you? Well, to tell you honestly, I am that kid who stays on the beach near your house every weekends. My grandfather's house was near the area. You are probably aware of the Fajardo's residence? That's where I am staying during this time. Then at weekends when my parents and brothers leave me alone, I stay by the beach. I like to read books and sometimes write poems under that narra tree. And there, I will always find you playing your guitar alone. You are really talented by the way. But there are days that I will see you surfing in the sea with your dad. There are also days that I will see you playing in the sand with some kids that I think, your younger siblings. Am I right?

Those different sounds that you make, whether if its from your guitar or your loud voice asking for help or just you talking to your sisters, helps me to have peace inside. For what reason? I also don't know as well.

At first, I become jealous of the way you smile. You have this kind of smile that can make others smile too. I wanted to have one of those as well. I want to give it to my older brothers whom I fought all of the time and to my parents who were having struggles right now. I think they need something that can warm their heart as well. I can't tell you all the details right now. I'm so sorry. But I can tell you that, if we will be friends.

Then as I see those smiles more, my jealousy become longing. I longed to see your smiles every single time I will stay there. Do I sound creepy to you? Or crazy? I'm so sorry. Please don't be afraid of me. I just want to be your friend. And also, I cannot keep these thoughts when I think about you. Actually this is the tenth version of this letter and I don't want to write it again because my hands are already numb. Besides my time is running out. I have to give this to you already. Can you forgive me for that?

It's been two summer vacations already, but I didn't have a chance to even say 'hi' to you. Whenever you come close to where I am staying, I leave and don't look back. I have this kind of fear about you knowing my feelings for you. I am so scared that you might not like me to become your friend. I always wear nice clothes and acts like I don't know you. But to tell you honestly, my heart says otherwise. My eyes are always fix to you. I sometimes ask myself if you ever notice me. Or did you even have a chance to glance my way. I am really afraid to show up. Please forgive me.

I also don't know your name that's why I will gather up all my courage to speak to you. I only have a month to stay in my grandfather's house. I will leave soon. I don't want to have regrets again when I leave this place without knowing you. I will not slip this chance or wait another year.

So, I will leave this letter in front of your house tonight and if you want to get to know me, meet me next week under the Narra tree beside your house after lunch. They say that I'm kinda boring so I will bring food and books. I have many books, so I will just bring the best among them. If you will like them, I can give them to you for free.

I hope I can see you there. I really want to be your friend. And please, tell me your name. And if not, I will be glad that I did try my best.

Waiting for next week,

Chris