84 Left Out

On a cold night, I wondered. The voices in my head called. I hoped the snow wouldn't stop. It was a happy memory I loved.

Leaving it behind me... hurts.

The heavy clouds full of frozen flakes of snow looked close to me. It asked me how I was doing. I laughed, "I hope tomorrow you don't disappear cloud, I love the days you arrive with snow and cover this land with cool air."

It was a night I sat alone on a room's roofed balcony. In front of me was the only silver table in the Golden House. The color of a beautiful platinum silver that reminded me of Mr. Smoker's hair. Yet no matter how much it reminded me of him, that table was always cold to me - even on a hot summer day -, and he was warm.

.

After we all came in, I headed up to my room. In my hidden wing. The most lonely place in this Golden House. I pushed my feet against the carpet, "It's snowing", I reminded myself.

My conciseness imagined someone pushing me to a three-person sofa behind me. I spread both my arms diagonally to my side as if I was about to embrace someone, but it still was only I there.

"Yet another snowy season arrives upon this snowy land, but still since this is a spherical world... there must be a place, somewhere that doesn't get winter. doesn't know snow. And of course, hopes Ms. Snow arrives like a miracle from above seven skies to set its white dress on its floors. a place like where I lived once. a miracle snowy night. a chilly happy night came one day... and maybe never again. I would never know... I... I want to feel the cold snow on my skin."

I lifted my body off the sofa, took a few steps from there, and with every step I thought of a place where I may enjoy myself even more. A place in this massive mansion where I could see the beauty of the snow falling a bit after a bit; a minute after a minute.

I knew deep within me on that same day I saw it. The place that fits me the most, but I would not have liked to call it "mine". My soul belonged there, yet it still was not mine. Anyways, no matter what I thought I ended up in front of the gate leading to it after walking through the dim lightless hallways at night. A voice called me "Asami~", it broke my hears, "Asami~"

"Knock"

"Knock"

I knocked on the door.

"It's you, Asami. Would you like to come in?" Jessica opened the door.

I stared without any answer. My eyes blinked up and down at her. With her wide eyes, she exclaimed at me, "Asami, are you okay?"

"Oh," I didn't want her to... "Can I come in?"

"Sure!" she chuckled, "Jesse is here too."

"I see."

I walked in, and the feeling of her tracing my steps continued... she looked at me when I wasn't controlling my body. It moved me. It moved my soul. My consciousness. A breeze on movements that felt strange; it wasn't mine.

The door to it. The place my body wanted to go to. The place I saw on that day. Jessica's balcony. This balcony that faced the opposite side on my balcony. It which had always faced...

'My garden...'

"Asami's Sunflower Garden"