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Kaoru happily walks down the hallway while thinking of inviting Emi to visit Fujiwara. Kaoru didn't know how she suddenly changed her mind but her fear and doubt disappeared after she thought about everything carefully.

Ever since Kaoru and Emi became sophomores, Fujiwara's name always slips from Emi's lips. Emi has always been telling Kaoru stories about Fujiwara that made him seem to come out from a book or a movie. Emi often teases Kaoru to Fujiwara saying that Fujiwara likes Kaoru even though they never talked to each other face to face. Kaoru started to hear Fujiwara's name when Emi started to meet and talk to him. That was the time when Kaoru saw them talking to each other under the tree. She didn't hear what they were talking about but one thing is for sure that everything started from that time. Then Emi said after that incident suddenly came to Kaoru's mind.


Emi got back to the classroom after going somewhere. Kaoru just pretended that she didn't see Emi talking to someone a while ago under a tree. Emi takes a seat and sits down beside me.

"Hey Kaoru, I just found out something." Emi whispered secretly to Kaoru.

"What is it?" Kaoru asks excitedly while thinking that Emi is gonna tell about what she saw a while ago with the guy Emi is talking to.

"Do you know Fujiwara Keiji?" Emi asked excitedly while giggling.

"No, who is he?" Kaoru asked as she thinks that that's the name of the guy she saw with Emi.

"He's our classmate and ...." Emi said while making it long to make Kaoru excited.

"And??" Kaoru excitedly asks, thinking that Emi has a crush on that guy she called "Fujiwara Keiji".

"And he likes you!!" Emi shouted in excitement while giggling.

"HUUHH?? NO WAY!! I didn't even know him. Why would he like me???" Kaoru shouted in disbelief.

Then as Emi shouted those words that's the exact time that Fujiwara came inside the classroom and heard everything that Kaoru just said. Fujiwara and Emi's eyes met leaving Fujiwara hurt by what Kaoru said. That's why Fujiwara's intention of getting closer to Kaoru got taken aback.

[End of Flashback]

But then Kaoru took an interest in Fujiwara when Emi told her on how Fujiwara always took her pictures secretly. At first Kaoru felt creeped out but then Emi explained that Fujiwara only did it because he was impressed by Kaoru. Not because of her beauty but in her good attributes and cheerful personality.

Kaoru still even remembers when Emi invited her yesterday before going home after class. Emi's eyes showed concern for Fujiwara but Kaoru refused for some unknown reason.


"Let's go, Kaoru, let's visit Keiji later, he said she wants to see you." Emi said to Kaoru.

"I'm sorry, I can't go because I didn't tell my parents that I'm going somewhere." Kaoru refused Emi's invitation.

"But you could call or text them." Emi insisted.

"I'm sorry they'll get mad if I only tell them through the phone." Kaoru explained.

[End of Flashback]

That's why Kaoru decided to visit Fujiwara today after their class to make it up to him from always rejecting his invitations.

*Murmur* *Murmur*

Kaoru heard noise and whispers when she entered their classroom. The first thing she felt was the tension she seemed to feel differently now inside. But even though she felt that way, it still did not replace the eagerness she felt to visit Fujiwara.

Kaoru immediately went to her chair and laid down and arranged her belongings. She stood up and quickly looked for Emi so that she could invite Emi to go to visit Fujiwara later. Kaoru feels happy with mixed excitement because for the first time she doesn't feel any doubt about visiting Fujiwara.

When Kaoru saw Emi, she immediately called Emi while waving her hand with a sweet smile.


While Kaoru immediately hugged Emi but Kaoru felt something was off when Emi didn't respond as she called Emi's name and even when Kaoru hugged her. Kaoru released Emi from her hug and looked at Emi's face. Kaoru could see the sadness that weighed on Emi's face.

"Are you okay Emi?" Kaoru asked as she saw the sadness in Emi's face.

Kaoru looked around and noticed that Emi was not the only one with such an expression. And realized that, that was the tension she felt when she got inside. Kaoru saw the weight of sadness and sorrows in everyone's faces.

"Emi?" Kaoru exclaimed when Emi did not immediately answer her question.

"Kaoru, he's gone." Emi said in a sorrowful tone that only left Kaoru with a confused look.

Kaoru touched both of Emi's cheeks and looked straight into Emi's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Kaoru asked Emi gently.

But before Emi answered her, tears suddenly fell from her face. Emi started sobbing while wearing a hurtful expression. Kaoru has no idea what was happening but she hugged Emi tightly while patting her back, to ease those sadness and sorrow that Emi is probably feeling right now.

But despite how Kaoru is trying to calm and reassure Emi, Emi still continues to cry while forcing herself to speak.

"He--he .." Every time Emi utters words tears keeps on flowing under her eyes.

"That's okay Emi, calm down before you say what you want to say." Kaoru said as she rubbed Emi's back to release all the weight of sadness inside. " You know that I'm here for you." Kaoru gently said to Emi to reassure her.

And for the second time Kaoru released Emi from her hug. Kaoru touched Emi's cheeks again and then wiped away Emi's tears and while Emi was trying her best to speak and convey what she wanted to say.

"Keiji, he's gone." Emi said while trembling in sadness.

The words that Emi just said broke down the excitement and happiness that Kaoru just had a while ago. Kaoru wanted to make it up to Fujiwara because of all the rejections she had to him, but then the chances that Kaoru thought she had were suddenly ruined.

"You're just lying ..." Kaoru answered stupidly when she heard Emi's words.

It was as if the joy had suddenly been destroyed and the eagerness that Kaoru had felt earlier had been transferred to remorse and sadness.

"I am telling the truth." Emi said softly.

"No .. No .. tell me you're just lying." Kaoru whispered to herself while making herself believe that what Emi was saying was not true.

"Please, tell me that's not true." Then Kaoru's tears began to flow, trying to convince herself that it was not all true.

Emi hugged Kaoru tightly while continuing to cry.

"He is gone." Emi replied while also shedding tears.

"NO !! PLEASE !!" Kaoru shouted which caused silence inside the classroom.

The tension that had been circulating inside for a while became heavier, causing more sadness to everyone. No one has the strength to calm each other down because everyone is sad and hurt by Fujiwara's sudden disappearance.

That's when they all realized that silence is more hurtful and heavier than they usually experience whenever they get scolded by their teacher.

"I haven't fulfilled his last wish yet ... I will go to him." Kaoru said in sorrows and regret the only thing that Emi could do was to hug her tightly while shaking her head. "No, Kaoru ... stop please." Emi pleaded while holding Kaoru.

"I still need to visit him." Kaoru while looking at thin air as she tried to stand up and slowly try to step forward.

"Kaoru ... pull yourself together" Emi said while tightly holding Kaoru.

Emi understands how Kaoru is feeling right now all of us does but the weight of sadness Kaoru felt was way more heavier because of guilt of the things that she didn't do and regret of not fulfilling Fujiwara's last request.

But Emi held Kaoru's hand before she could step away, while Kaoru could only weep and cry in front of everyone. Kaoru keeps on struggling from Emi's grip on her while repeatedly saying she needs to go to Fujiwara, to visit him.

"IT'S MY FAULT!" Kaoru shouted in sorrow while realizing what she'd done.

"Kaoru." Emi calmly called her while trying to alleviate Kaoru's feelings.

"IT'S WAS ALL MY FAULT!" Kaoru shouted again in a tone of despair.

"Kaoru, it's not your fault." Emi repeatedly says to Kaoru in a desperate tone.

Emi has never seen Kaoru cry like this so she knows the pain that Kaoru is feeling right now. The feeling that no one can relieve that only Kaoru can do, because she cast it upon herself, upon feeling guilt and regret for the things she didn't do.

"It's all my fault." Kaoru blamed herself again and again. They are not able to calm Kaoru down because everyone feels that they are also to blame for what happened to Fujiwara. No one can speak to strengthen each other because they are all weakened by the knowledge that Fujiwara is dead.

Everyone can see in Emi the difficulty of seeing Kaoru in this situation because Emi herself introduced Fujiwara to Kaoru not in person but in her story. Kaoru felt heavy because of all the rejection she had made to Fujiwara's invitations.


"Kaoru, aren't you a super junior fan?" Emi asked.

"Yes, why did you ask?" Kaoru replied to Emi's sudden question about KPop.

"Their concert is coming up, isn't it?" Emi asked again.

"Yes." Kaoru answered directly.

"Keiji invites us to join him there, there are three of us." Emi said eagerly.

"I'm sorry I can't because my mother will not allow me to go." Kaoru's refusal.

Emi could see the sadness in Kaoru's answer.

"Why don't you two just go?" Kaoru asked.

"I remember I also had something to do that day." Emi refused.

[End of Flashback]

Especially with Fujiwara's last request to see Kaoru, which she did not do. Mercy enveloped Emi's eyes when she saw Kaoru's fate.

Hugging Kaoru tightly is the only thing that Emi could do with the pain Kaoru was feeling.

"We're going to see him tomorrow to say goodbye to him. Do you want to come along?" Emi said softly.

"Am I even allowed to go to him now? Now that he's already gone." Kaoru said while trying to stop her cry as she bent down holding her face while staring at the ground.

Emi immediately removes Kaoru's hand to touch Kaoru's face while slowly lifting it up. Emi caresses Kaoru's face to relieve the heaviness that Kaoru is feeling.

"This is your last chance, grant his wish even though he's not here anymore." Emi said sadly while calming herself to finish what she's trying to say.

"That's the only thing you could do to him now." Emi continued as she forced a smile.

Kaoru just nodded at what Emi said while biting her lips to prevent her tears from falling again.

Kaoru looked up at the empty seat that day, there she found the chair that Fujiwara was sitting in. Pure repentance and things she did not do that she should have done are the things that she felt.

Because of this news, silence enveloped their classroom. Not everyone wants to listen to what their teacher is teaching. Everyone was just staring into nothingness and looking away. They can't seem to accept what happened, but also can't face the painful reality in front of them.

The day ended with a heavy burden and sadness in their hearts. Some come out with their eyes swollen, while others hide the emotions they really feel to make them look stronger for them not give additional burden to anyone. And they all didn't thought that Fujiwara would die from a heart attack because the last they saw him at the hospital Fujiwara seemed strong enough to strive through his disease but then again maybe after he didn't see Kaoru he suddenly lost the will to live and fight from his illness.

That's why they're all left in disbelief and sadness from seeing their fellow classmate died in that certain age, the same age as them who is still young and has a lot of things for him in the future but now he's gone.

Kaoru stopped walking when she saw feet stopped in front of her. She slowly raised her head tired with swollen eyes to see whose feet it was. She saw a familiar face that she always sees with Fujiwara. Then the owner of those feet she saw handed her a white envelope, Kaoru just looked at it while giving a confusing look to the one who handed it to her. She didn't accept the letter yet until the one who is holding it suddenly said ...

"Keiji's last letter for you." He calmly said while releasing a smile and then left.

Fujiwara still had time to write a letter for Kaoru even though all she did to him was reject all his invitations. That time Kaoru felt guilt after seeing what was written on the envelope.

"To: Hamasaki Kaoru

From: Fujiwara Keiji"

Kaoru felt pain in her heart as she saw the name "Fujiwara Keiji" she then slowly opened it, took out the paper inside and unfolded it. Kaoru saw the letter that was actually handwritten and thought that it was Fujiwara's.


Dear Hamasaki Kaoru,

First of all thank you Hamasaki-san for being an inspiration to me, because of you, I have somehow been happy. It was nice to meet and see you even from a distance. I thank god for giving me the opportunity to meet you and live long.

I still remember when I first met you and we talked face to face even though you just said a word. The only word you said was thank you along with your smiles is a good memory that I received.


Kaoru was about to start walking when she suddenly fell and lost her balance due to fatigue and empty stomach which caused her body to soften. She was just waiting for her body to fall to the ground when she felt as if someone had catched her that stopped her fall.

Kaoru raised her head to see the person who helped her but she was disturbed when she heard the bell ring.

"Thank you." The only words Kaoru uttered before quickly running into the school.

The boy who Kaoru just left was just there standing while staring at his own hand with a smile on his lips, because he finally met the girl he had long admired.

[End of Flashback]

I felt even happier when I met your best friend, as if I felt I was slowly getting closer to you. That I think god is making a way for me to get to know you, but I guess that was too much to ask.

And also thank you for having pretty good memories with you even though all of those memories happened in a distance. You have been my strength in my daily life. Even if I want to get to know you better still I'm still glad that even in this way I met you.

Anyways thank you, thank you for everything and every smile that you gave me, I hope it doesn't go away and I would always be able to see it even though I am far away.

You are the happiest blessing I have ever received. I love you.


Fujiwara Keiji

One by one, Kaoru's tears flowed again. Kaoru suddenly felt weakened by the letter Fujiwara wrote. Kaoru thought that If she had just looked at everything on the other side, she probably would not have rejected Fujiwara's simple requests but she could do nothing because Fujiwara was no longer here and the only thing he left is this letter.

Kaoru felt grief because of all the decisions she has made to everyone and to other people, failing to fulfill Fujiwara's last request is the one she deeply regrets.