9 pluie

adaptation— that's what we all have to go through in order to gain spiritual flexibility. we often seek it in the wrong place, forgetting that we're just as skilled as the person that's standing in front of us... we just don't know it yet.

we often forget. we forget that the cure is within ourselves— you can't find the pieces you once lost in someone who's now a stranger to your heart. you'd be just damaging the memory walls of your new favorite stranger, the one that knows you entirely.

so i knew i just couldn't have an answer for what i've been telling myself for a while.

what's it like to know? but, at the same time, what's it like to ignore the truth that stands still in front of you? what's it like to trespass someone else's brain?

i didn't know.

you brought sense into my head while both our hands and hearts intertwined. we stood still and there was no time reference. my mind definitely enjoyed the affection you decided to give and you embraced whatever shattered pieces were left in myself— you embraced me.

i was constantly tied to the night time. you knew my door wasn't open, but you kept on knocking, as i was drowning way too deep in my thoughts, digging for the answers i'd never get. we both knew that i was afraid to open it and fully expose myself in front of someone, yet my situation was nowhere close to vulnerability.

i was the most painful vacant room, you saw through my suffering... and i almost saw through yours. almost— the word that i hate the most, yet i never tried to get it out of my head.

almost time. almost yours. almost mine, but most importantly, almost ours.

you're definitely twisted. you decided to cross paths with me, but you didn't know what was in store for you. i didn't know what was in store for myself, either.

i didn't know.

i chose not to.

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