15 glacé

   the smoke that slowly filled the night air had failed to replace the smell of your rosy skin on that friday night— it just led me into thinking that our world had a certain complexity that was very hard for me to reach.

   you're confusing. you confuse feelings, the person that's standing in front of you is just another tree hazed in cloud and mist— you're preventing yourself from seeing the other side of reality. i have to admit, your perception shatters and conflicts my existence every time i'm trying to stare at you.

                      what are you, really?

   i'd say that you're my inexpressible intoxication: i have to recover from you, but i don't want to. you're the epitome of sickness, my dearest, and i can't really defend my own body: it lacks, it lingers and it absorbs every inch of you.

   i'd forever look at you with my eyes closed, because you're beautiful even when life saddens the love out of you: it's your soul that refuses to accept permanent states of mind. you're always moving, pointing towards something, gravitating around my existence, and it excites you... the thought of having me around.

i was your second something, but, most importantly, i loved the fact that i was "something" to you— a word that couldn't describe me less. it somehow tied me to your breath. it led me into believing that you had something to give to me, some sort of reassurance that fell off from your head whenever you gave me that serious look of yours. it led me into believing all of it.

sometimes hesitation speaks louder than any form of love or disgust. you could hesitate all your life without knowing it, but, sadly, we were the ones that had to know.

  i really wish i could capture this state of mind entirely. otherwise, you'll all end up as strangers dancing between my words, resting your bodies on the walls of my mind, as you're wondering how they didn't turn to dust yet. truth to be told, i wouldn't wish any of it upon you. my situation would become your situation and you would be forced to listen to it so carefully, as you run out of breath even before waking up. that's the beauty behind a sophisticated mechanism that started crafting and covering itself in fire five months ago.

   but, after all, i'd still tie myself to my own pain... partially lying. i'd drastically tie my lover to myself, because sometimes pain has to go through the suffering of four eyes.

  you'll always deserve getting what you initially wanted to receive.