10 Pregnant

"Ran, I'm pregnant."

The world around felt like it had stopped moving. The seconds on the clock also stopped suddenly when Laras came out and said a line that could paralyze his pulse. Randi's heart went limp, along with his broken body, so he sat on the cold floor tonight.

Seeing Laras come out with a face that is difficult to predict, also in her hand which is holding out three testpacks that show two lines.

Randi wasn't so stupid as to not understand what she meant. Two lines, which means positive.

Laras started to sob, she sat down on his knees beside Randi. Leaning her head on his lover's broad shoulders, she continued to cry bitterly. Randi himself doesn't seem to be able to come to his senses now. Evidently when Laras spoke, he only heard the sentences that were spoken by him when the sinful night occurred.

"I'm not going to make you pregnant. It's only once, you can't get pregnant."

"It's okay, the scars will disappear later."

"It won't hurt, I'll do it slowly."

And there are still many calming sentences that he throws at Laras, which also end up being just bullshit. Because in fact, what happened was the opposite. Laras is pregnant, his own child. The man who always promised to take care of her until she died. But now, that promise seems to have expired because now, Randi has ruined his own girl.

"I thought this would happen, Ran. That's why I always complain of fear, fear and fear. It's nothing, but I already have my own symptoms. And when my parents died, I felt like I wanted to go with them. Because I was scared when my parents died. At times like this, I'm alone." Laras said while sobbing loudly. Her back was shaking violently. She also let her tears spill, soaking Randi's shirt.

"Ras, can you go home now?"

Laras gasped, she stopped her crying and looked at Randi in disbelief. "What?"

"Please go home, now. I want to be alone first."

There was no explanation or apology that came out of Randi's mouth. There was only a flat expression on his face, as if he didn't care about what was happening right now. This made Laras angry. She stood up, staring intently at Randi who was still sitting under her.

"Crazy! When I was almost depressed because of what you did, you even asked me to go home? You kicked me out, Ran?" Laras voice softened at the end.

"I'm not kicking you out. Tomorrow I'll come see you, but please, for now, just leave me alone first. I need time, Ras. Please understand."

Hearing Randi's words, Laras laughed sarcastically. Laughing at the lover who acts like he is the victim. Even though in reality, he is the perpetrator and Laras is the victim. But look at how Randi treats Laras? Like disposable items, if they are damaged, they can only be thrown away. Its existence is ignored.

"From the start I really shouldn't have fallen with you. I was stupid, I actually fell, fell with you so much that I was willing to lose my chastity for you. And in the end what? I was also thrown out."

Laras left Randi's room, leaving the man deep in murky thoughts for a long time.

***

"Randi? Why are you sleeping on the floor, son?" Randi felt his shoulder being gently shaken. He opened his eyes so he could see a little blurry Ratih's face.

"Mommy?" He asked in a daze. Then without waiting, he grabbed her body to cuddle with his mother. He buried his face on the thin shoulders of the woman who had given birth to him.

"What's wrong with you?" Randi chose not to answer. He just shook his head, then before long, he felt a soft caress on his back.

At a time like this, Randi felt like crying out loud. Tells Ratih that he has ruined the life of a girl he loves very much. However, there was no way Randi had that kind of courage. So all he can do is continue to hug Ratih in silence, feeling the love that is channeled through this warm embrace.

For five minutes, the mother and daughter hugged each other until Randi finally freed himself. He looked at the face of Ratih who always looked at him gently. He always felt a ray of light when he looked at his mother's dark black net.

"Why are you sleeping on the floor like this? Have you eaten yet? Mommy is there to prepare fried rice for you downstairs, let's eat."

In the dimly lit kitchen, Randi found a plate of fried rice with fried eggs on it. It looks tempting it should be, but somehow his appetite disappeared instantly. Even though after returning from campus, he had planned to ask Ratih to cook fried rice for him.

"Let's eat, why are you still stunned."

Even though it was hard to swallow, Randi tried to finish eating a full serving of his mother's fried rice. It tasted really good, really good as usual. But the name is not lust, even though the food is delicious, you still can't enjoy it.

"Uh, you had a social gathering with your neighbors, it was a pajama party like that. Then your friends asked you, where do you want to take your master's degree? You just answered that you don't know. Even your people haven't graduated from bachelor's degree, why have you asked where you want to go for master's degree." Ratih said by occasionally biting the apple she was holding.

Meanwhile, Randi, for some reason the taste of the fried rice he ate became completely bland. Nothing as delicious as before, tasteless, like eating white rice. Hearing Ratih's words, he knew, there was an implied message from his words. Regarding the education that Randi will take. The woman wanted Randi to follow in his father's footsteps so that he could study at a world-renowned university. At least until S2 only.

Then, how would Ratih react if Randi said that he could not continue his education because he had to be responsible for Laras' life as well as the child that the woman was carrying?

Just imagining it, Randi couldn't bear it.

Being born as an only child made him have to be willing to bear such a big burden. The family's hope is in him. Many ideals that he has not even executed the process. And now he must be trapped with a woman and must let his dreams be swallowed up by a fate that is so sickening?

Not. Randi will not be willing.

"Mommy, if I choose to change campuses for next semester, will you agree or not?"

"Why do you ask? Why do you want to move?"

Randi didn't answer right away, he just looked at the half brown rice in front of him. Is this the right time to tell the truth? That Ratih will soon become a grandmother to a child whose presence is not expected?

"Ran, hey? Why are you silent? Mommy asked, why?"

"I want to move to college near Grandma's house, Mother. I want to take care of Grandpa, it's a shame he's alone."

"You want to move to Yogyakarta?"