46 Nikki

My hands pull the opening of my pea coat closer together as the breeze flows through my hair. I’m used to the cold, used to the frigid air being harsh on skin not covered by any type of clothing, but that’s not why my body is shivering.

My hand comes up and stops mid knock as every fiber of my body stays undecided if it’s warm or cold. Shaking my head, riding it of the doubt circling around, I whisper a quick ‘f*ck it’ and knock three times.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait, but the heavy steal door with wrought iron vines throughout the paneling, mocks me by remaining closed.

I turn, shaking my head at the dumb idea of coming here, of even attempting to get a few pieces of my messed-up life, but I stop at the unmistakable sound of the door opening from behind me. I turn, one again, and this time come face to face with the only woman to show me love after my parents died and my aunt and uncle learned how to jump off the face of the Earth.