1 Chapter 1

Ah, the sweet sound of graduation music. The day we've been waiting for since our enrollment to this hell hole we call a school district. As the cheering and applause roared around me, I looked behind me, seeing my friends also rejoicing as we all finally wait for our turns to get our diplomas. Though I felt a little empty without her here. I felt worried something came up last minute, but I wouldn't let that fault her, especially with the recent events with her family, I'm sure some legal stuff came up like court dates or even plead deals. Though my worry was indeed warranted as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Thank christ it was on silent. I dug into my pocket and pulled out my Samsung, seeing I got a notification from her. I opened my phone and went to Snapchat, where my heart fell to my stomach as I saw the simple text that said "help". I was frozen, I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing on my screen until I felt a nudge to my right. I turned to look at one of my friends, Daniel, a similar panic on his face as he had his phone out. "Jason... Something's not right..." he says weakly, showing me his phone where he's received several missed calls and a text saying 'help'. My mind went blank, my heart beating a million miles a second trying to comprehend what was happening, but then I realized. He's not here. Daniel came to the same consensus as we both consciously stood up and ran out of the auditorium. I tossed my graduation cap off to the side and threw off my gown, showing off the red dress shirt and black vest I was wearing, along with the black jeans and combat boots. I dug into my pants pocket as I and Daniel rushed to my truck. "Jason!" I heard my name yelled. I turned to look at a group of people, but the two in front were my friends. "What's wrong dude?" He asked. I couldn't speak, I could only breathe heavily, but I took a deep breath, calming down my mind and looking at the group confidently. "Get everyone, tell them to meet us at the Basketball courts..." I took a second, unlocking my car as Daniel got into the passenger's seat. "What? Why? What's going on dude?" He asked again. I only looked at him, worry on my face. "Please... Just do it, man..." I said with sincerity. He nodded and rounded up two others from the group and went further into the parking lot. I started up the car as three more of my friends hopped into the back. Before I could protest, they hushed me. "Let's just go, whatever is going on we got your backs," He said as they all buckled up. I nodded and hightailed it out of the lot, driving way past the speed limit. My mind was still racing, I couldn't think. 'What happened? How could all this happen? What did I do that lead me here?' I thought as I ran red lights, stop signs, everything. Then a thought hit me, back to the beginning of my senior year.

Wednesday, August 25th, 2018.

I stood in a dark room, two doors stood in front of me. One red and one blue. I walked towards the red door and opened it slightly, a burst of flames came out and I slammed the door shut. Taking a few steps back, I looked over at the blue door, slowly making my advance to it and turning the knob slowly, a bright light blinded me as I opened the door open wider, the sound of an alarm going off as I opened the door. I walked in, not knowing what I was walking in to. I felt my eyes slowly open, feeling the bright morning rays break through the blinds of my window and shine in my eyes. I closed them and turned my head over to see my alarm was going off. I reached over to turn it off, hitting my hand off the side of the desk and unplugging my alarm in slight annoyance. I rubbed my face as I turned on my back, staring at the ceiling as I contemplated getting up and getting ready for the day. 'Oh wait...' I thought in dread as I looked at my calendar. Today was circled in red and labeled 'Return to hell'. "Fucking school..." I thought as I slowly sat up in my bed, the sun still blinding me as I was 90 degrees. I sat at the edge of the bed, leaning over and slowly blinking myself awake. The thoughts of just saying 'Fuck it' and going back to sleep crossed my mind, but before I could a familiar womanly voice called out with a knock at the door. "Jason, time to wake up," My mom said as I rolled my eyes with a smile. "I'm awake mom, you don't have to keep waking me up," I said as I stood up, looking down at myself to make sure I was dressed. "I know... But I like to make sure my babies are ready for the day," she said motherly. "You know none of us are ready for the day. Like ever," I said with a small chuckle. "I enjoy the little things here Jason, let me have this," I could hear the sadness in her voice. I rolled my eyes again with a smile and went towards my closet. "I know mom. I still let you do it, don't I?" I said as I dug into my closet, rooting around for something to wear. "I know, Love you, sweetheart," she said in a shrill voice. "Love you too, mom," I said as I put on an Imagine Dragons T-shirt I got from going to their concert this summer. The memory made a smile creep on my face as we were almost kicked out for fighting a bunch of drunkards. I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing the bedraggled mug that stood before me. "Fuck I need to shave..." I said as I took a second to smell myself, recoiling in the stench. "And shower..." I said as began to leave my room, making sure my person was doable until I could shower. I peeked out the door and looked both ways, seeing that the coast was clear I moved across the brown shag carpet towards the bathroom. I could hear the door down the hall open and I saw my brother begin to walk out. We both stopped to look at one another, and both instinctively ran towards the bathroom, clashing only when either one of us wanted to get in. Being the stronger sibling, I shoved him aside and slammed the door shut. "No fair, Jason! You're stronger than me!" He cried out as I cackled evilly. "And DON'T forget it!" I laughed as I ripped my shirt off. "How long are you gonna be?" he asked as I tossed the shirt in the dirty hamper. I began to take off my underwear and held them while I genuinely thought. "Maybe like fifteen minutes or so, it's only five o'clock, Reese," I called out as I began to run some hot water for a shower. "Yeah... but if Tosh beats me then I won't be able to shower at all!" I heard him joke. I giggled a little as I entered the shower, feeling the warmth run down my body and the relaxing feeling flush away all pains and sorrows of the past. I tried to crack my back, only to have a sharp pain shoot through my back. 'Fuck... I need to see Dr. Samuels again. My back is fucking killing me,' I thought as I began to pour some body wash on a rag and wash. The shower just helped me melt away, all the thoughts of school, past events, and worries about the future just went away as I showered. I set the rag down and grabbed some Head and Shoulders shampoo and began to apply it to my hair, making sure to get deep into the roots. This is what always made my hair 'Silky smooth' as some people called it. Though it sucked when you got it in your eye, it'd burn most the day. Rinsing out the shampoo, I pushed back most of my wet hair and just stood for a few minutes. I honestly didn't want to deal with what school had to offer this year. I sighed and shut off the shower, grabbing a towel from the rack and slowly drying every part of me. I took a step out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror, my gaze slowly making its way towards the scar on the right side of my head. I could feel myself begin to remember the incident... PTSD hitting hard as I began to shake. I put a hand over the scar and felt it, memories of the incident flashing through my mind. I put my hand on my face and began to slowly bring myself back to reality. I opened the sink drawer and pulled out a razor, shaving around the scar so that I wouldn't forget what I went through. Once the scar was nice and visible, I felt it again, the rough and coarse edges. I stopped feeling it and let my hand fall towards my chin and neck, feeling the scruff. I began to shave around my chin and face since growing a beard was close to impossible for me to pull off, though you'd think that it'd be easier since I was a brunette, but fuck it, not for me. Taking a good long look in the mirror, I reached in the drawer and pulled out a comb, styling my hair so that my hair fell to my left and a little over my left eye. Liking the results, I put the comb and razor away and pulled out a toothbrush and toothpaste and some deodorant. The toothpaste I had made my teeth white and shiny, which was always an additional feature people complimented me on. Applying my deodorant and tossing everything back into the drawer, I heard a very loud and obnoxious pound at the bathroom door. "Jason hurry up! I wanna get ready!" I heard my sister yell. "Keep your pants on princess, I'm finishing up!" I yelled back as I took one last look at the mug in the mirror in front of me. I looked like me again, and not like I haven't shaved or showered in a week. Accepting my work, I tossed on my old clothes and went to leave. I opened the door to see an irritated sibling, her anger emitting from her very being. "You're bratty, you know that?" I said as I walked past her, she lands a small punch on my shoulder. "Wouldn't be if you and Reese weren't assholes," She said as she pushed past me just as Reese left his room to get to the bathroom, but stopped as he saw the door close. "Son. of. a. bitch!" he said slightly loudly. I smirked at his anger and entered my room, making sure the door was locked. I glanced over at my clock as I began to pull out some clothes. I settled for a pair of ripped jeans and my go-to black leather jacket. I tossed on the combo and grabbed a pair of black socks from my drawer and put them on as well. I glanced over at my shoes, a pair of Nike running shoes, some Timberlands, and some crocs. I went with a pair of Timberlands and put them on, double knotting them and tolling my pant legs down. I turned to look at my nightstand. I grabbed my Black and grey striped beanie and put it in my pocket. Sitting on my bed and falling backward to stare at the ceiling, I began to feel this something begin to fill my heart. Emptiness? I wasn't sure, hell how could I be sure? I sighed deeply and sat back up, grabbing my car keys, and setting them in my jacket pocket opposite of the beanie. I heard a chime on my phone go off and I reached over to look at it, just another notification from the group chat I'm in. I put the phone in my right pants pocket and grabbed my wallet and set it in the opposite. I saw a folded up piece of paper sit on the stand, unfolding it to see that it was my schedule. "Amy would kill me if I forgot this," I joked.

I felt a rumble in my stomach. 'That's what I get for not eating last night... Some cereal would be nice about now. I wonder if we have any Lucky Charms left?' I thought as I went to leave my room, but stopped to grab my schedule for the year, then left my room for the final time and went towards the kitchen. I glanced over at the TV where Law and Order SVU was on and Reese sitting happily on the couch. "You finally get a shower dirt-ball?" I joked. Reese peered back at me with evil and flipped me off, I return the favor. Reese had his usual attire, a blue dress shirt with a black tie. He had dress pants with a silver belt buckle. His hair was short and well kept, along with his black-rimmed glasses. I opened the cupboards to see the box of Lucky Charms next to a box of Frosted Flakes. I shook the box and to my dismay, there wasn't anything in it. "Okay... Who leaves an empty box of cereal in the cupboards?" I asked loudly through the house. Reese snickered, hiding low behind the couch. I threw the box towards his direction and an audible 'ow, fucker,' could be heard. I grabbed the Frosted Flakes and began to pour it into a bowl that was leftover from dinner last night. "Reese you're lucky I like Frosted Flakes," I said as I opened the fridge to grab the milk. "Not lucky enough to get Lucky Charms?" Reese barely finished as he busted into laughter. I rolled my eyes at him and finished pouring my bowl of cereal. "Oh! This for me?" my mother's voice asked from behind me. I turned to see my mom trying to scife my bowl and I tapped her hand, pointing a finger at her. "Mine!" I said with a smile. "Is there any Lucky Charms?" she asked. "Ask Reese that question," I smirked. "Reese! I said leave the last for me!" she yelled as Reese peered over the couch in fear. "You're getting some after school today," she pointed, which meant she was 'serious'. "Jason has the car. Why not tell him?" Reese asked, trying to get out of trouble. "Because he's not the one that ate the last of it!" mom said as she entered the living room, scolding Reese. I laughed the whole time I ate my cereal, slightly choking once in a while to see Reese burn holes through me in anger.

Tosh entered the room. She wore a red crop-top and a jean jacket with black short shorts that went halfway up her thighs and fishnet leggings. She basically SCREAMED slut, but I wasn't gonna be the one to say anything since mother already turned to look at her and went wide-eyed. "You're not wearing that to school!" mom yelled, eyeing her up and down. "Why not? It's gonna be hot later," Tosha fought back. "Because you look like a slut," Reese said bluntly. The Frosted Flakes I was eating almost escaped my mouth from laughter as mom and Tosha yelled Reese's name in unison. "What?! You were thinking it too mom! So was Jason!" Reese defended. "Don't bring me into this shithead! You already dug your own grave!" I said, choking on my cereal. "But I wasn't gonna say it!" mom yelled. I eventually got the Frosted Flakes down and continued a giggle-fest as Tosha began to tackle Reese. "Alright, stop!" mom yelled. Tosha and Reese looked at her in fright as I tried to cease my laughter but to no avail. Tosha got off of Reese and the two sat up, both being lectured by mom as I glanced at the clock. It was 6:50 and the time couldn't go any slower. "Alright dumb and dumber. Let's get going," I said as I put my steel-toed boots on my feet, double knotting the laces. "Jas, you aren't going to take anything?" Reese asked. "Nope" I said as I put my beanie on, letting some of my hair hand down over my eye. "What if we get work to do?" Reese asked. I glared at him. "The day I do work on the first day is the day I get high honor roll," I said as I left the house.

As I walked down the small path to my car I heard a chime from my phone. I pulled out both the keys to my car and my phone. I got a text from my friend, Raydan Feren. 'Raydan? What do you need?' I thought as I unlocked my car. My car was a black 2007 Dodge Neon. Sure it may seem small, but the work I and my pal Brian put into this, needless to say, no one could beat us. I opened the messaging app to respond to Raydan.

Raydan: Yo, can you give me a ride?

Me: Sure, you at your house?

Raydan: Nah, I'm in jail... 😂 Of course, I'm at my house!

Me: Aight, I'll be there shortly.

Raydan: Ty

Me: Np

I set my phone between my legs and honked the horn for Reese and Tosha to hurry up. They both stumbled out of the doorway and I couldn't help but giggle. I heard Reese call shotgun and slide over the roof of the engine. "Dude! I told you only to do that if we're being chased!" I called out as he and Tosha entered the car. "I didn't want Tosh to get shotgun," Reese said, smirking back to Tosha who gave him the finger. As I began to pull out of the driveway my phone began to ring. "For fuck sakes can't people wait to bother me?" I asked myself aloud, peering down at my phone. Raydan was calling. I answered and kept my eyes on the road. "Yo dude. When you gonna be here?" he asked. "I'm leaving my driveway now. Just take a chill pill and be outside waiting," I joked, Reese and Tosha giving me weird looks. "Alright. Just hurry up then!" he hung up. I set my phone back down and put the car in drive and off we were. "Who was that?" Reese asked. "Ah. Just Raydan trying to hitch a ride. And I kinda owe him a favor anyway," I said, making a right turn towards Raydan's house. "You're not going to pick him up are you?" Tosha asked demandingly. I peered back at her. Panic filled her eyes. "Why wouldn't I? He only lives about two blocks away anyway," I motioned for Reese to get into my glove compartment. "You're not serious, are you? Please tell me you're joking," she said, hysterically. "No Tosh," I said as Reese handed me a pack of cigarettes. "I'm not," I slow in at a stop sign and light one of the cigarettes. "No. Let me out now!" Tosha said as she tried to open the car door. "Nice try. Child safety locks are handy," I said, exhaling smoke out of the window and driving forward. "I do not want to be anywhere near that fucking cheating junky!" she protested. I rolled my eyes at her and kept driving. Her complaining wouldn't have pissed me off if she didn't start kicking the back of my seat like a god damn two-year-old. "Alright! Could you fucking stop kicking my seat like a fucking infant?!" I yelled, making Tosha sink in her seat. I took a deep inhale of fresh air and looked at her in the rear-view mirror. "Whether you like it or not Raydan is still mine and Reese's friend. So you can either suck it up and deal with it or walk to school and we both know you won't be able to walk that distance," I say, slightly calming down. She crossed her arms and glared out of the window. "You know what he did to me..." she began. I sighed and Reese put a hand on his forehead. "Yes. Actually, I do. You two were fucked up drunk and you thought he was cheating on you. So you overreacted and dumped him and left him heartbroken," I said, pulling up to his house. "If it will make you feel ANY better you can switch Reese seats," I said, holding a finger to Reese who was about to protest. "And if I hear anymore fucking whining out of either of you you'll both be walking for the rest of the year," I said, honking the horn once to let Raydan know we were here. "Fine," she said, opening the car door and slamming it. I almost lost my shit cause slamming a car door that hard can break the window, but figuring it was the first day I would save it for later. Reese jumped over the seats to the back and got comfy while Tosha got in the passenger seat. I honked the horn twice more, slightly getting impatient. I looked over to Tosha who was still glaring out of the window. I suddenly got an idea in my head that I slightly giggled at. "Hey, Tosha?" I asked in a playful voice. She looked at me, her bitch face showing completely. "Can you get the box out of my glove compartment please?" I asked in a nice tone. She kept her same glare at me as she opened the glove box. She reached inside and pulled out the small box of tampons. Reese held a face of pure amusement while Tosha looked at the box, then back at me. I couldn't hold the laughter. My slides split simultaneously as she just glared at me, but eventually, the car erupted in complete laughter. "You're such an asshole, Jason," she said, hugging me. I gave her a small hug back. "So are you alright with Raydan hitching a ride with us?" I asked, wiping away tears. "Yeah... I guess. Don't have much a choice anyway," she said as Raydan exited his house, jamming something into his pockets.

As he was walking down the small path from his house to the driveway he tripped on a hose that was left out and tangled. I shook my head with a few chuckles leaving our mouths. He stood straight up and brushed his pants and continued his way to the car. I pointed to the back seat behind me and he nodded. Opening the car door, he greets us and buckled in. "How are things going Raydan?" I asked, driving away. "Good. I've been keeping contact with Raj and you know how well he's doing right about now," Raydan said with a slight hint of sadness in his voice. "Yeah. We need to get the group together and do something for the poor guy. Doesn't he like laser tag?" I asked. "Yeah. But I don't think he wants to be anywhere near something that relates to fire," Raydan added, I nodding to his comment. Raj Vadeem is a very old friend of mine. We've known one another since elementary and he's always helped me with work in class, and for that, I owe him a million. So when the day came that we heard of his house burning down it broke our hearts. I along with some others got together to raise about twelve-thousand dollars for the guy and his family to get off their feet. But ever since then he, his brother Hal and his mother have all been at his grams for the time being. "We should send another card. I know it doesn't help as much but at least it keeps their spirits up," Reese said, pulling up his phone. "Cards always helped me when I was in a bad spot," I added, making a left turn towards the school. The car went silent, not a bad silent but awkward silence. "Are we there yet?" Reese asked. I could hear the snickering from him and Raydan. "I swear to god I will crash this car and kill us all if I hear either of you start saying 'are we there yet' or 'I have to pee'," I said, the two snickering harder. Tosha had also begun to giggle a bit but she wasn't the one I was focused on.